


Dirty And Clean

by heytheregisela



Series: end of the world [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mavin, Minor Character Death, Multiple Deaths, RageHappy, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, just about anything you'd expect in a zombie apoc.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-03-10 13:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 111,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3292223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heytheregisela/pseuds/heytheregisela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it started to break out and people were getting sicker than usual, they told everyone not to worry; it would be handled and over with soon enough. Of course, it never was. If Michael would have known that, he wouldn't have let Gavin walk out of his life. Now they have nothing left but to find each other and continue to survive in what appears to be the end of the world. </p><p>Playlist can be found <a href="http://8tracks.com/heytheregisela/dirty-and-clean-mavin-fic">here</a>, and I may end up adding more songs later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the first song on the playlist "Dirty and Clean" by Stephanie Schneiderman.

It's a bit cliché to say that it all started with people getting sick, but that was exactly what happened. There had been an outbreak of a bug going around, making people suffer from stomach viruses, to colds, to high fevers that couldn't be cooled down, and then finally, they couldn't take anymore. Of course a sudden increase of deaths over this new “sickness” caused everyone to panic at the slightest stomach ache or sniffle. Hospitals and clinics were getting filled up more than usual because everyone wanted to get themselves checked “just in case”. Even those that were perfectly healthy were going.

It got to the point where the people needed to be reminded that everything was going to be okay; the cure would be found and things would go back to as they were.

And for a while, people honestly believed that. They kept hearing about the deaths that continued occurring, but everyone held onto hope. It was all they had left. So, they went about their lives like nothing was happening in other places, but little by little, the deaths were getting closer to home.

Doctors began bringing in patients that were catching the sickness for deep examination, but they were just left more confused than ever. The virus inside was one none of them knew anything about. There was no cure... no way to stop the death that was sure to follow...

So they started to move onto the next step; to find that cure and end this now.

And people got to know every detail of what was going on everyday, or rather, they assumed they knew everything, but there was always one huge detail the doctors left out.

Not wanting to indulge himself in any of the nonsense, though, Michael had brushed it all off. It couldn't be as bad as the media was putting it out to be. Besides, he had other things to worry about.

One of those things was a person – Gavin Free. Michael had been much too distracted with the on going problems between him and Gavin that he hadn't really taken time to stop and allow himself to take fear of the unknown. He didn't have any faith that things were going to get better or any of that crap, because he simply didn't care. Gavin lived with him, had been for months, but for the past few weeks, it didn't feel that way. Gavin was always leaving, sleeping God knows where, and returning home in the morning, confused as to why Michael would be angered by this.

He actually had the _nerve_ to be baffled about Michael's anger.

And really, Michael finally had enough of that nonsense. “Are you seeing someone else?”

That had been the question that caught Gavin completely off guard. He glared at Michael, speechless for a moment as he searched for an answer to that stupid question.

“How could you even ask me that?” Gavin spat.

Michael groaned. “Answer me!”

“No! I'm not seeing anyone else, _Michael_! Why would I when I love _you_?!”

Michael's eye practically twitched. He couldn't even remember the last time Gavin had said those three words. A part of him wanted to pull Gavin into his arms, hold him tightly and say, 'You're right. I love you, too.' but no. Gavin wasn't right. This wasn't something that could be easily fixed by words. Gavin didn't even know _half_ of what Michael went through every time the Brit disappeared.

This wasn't going to end this easily.

“If you did you wouldn't be disappearing every fucking night!” Michael continued to shout, though he kept his distance and Gavin scoffed.

“My life cannot just revolve around you, Michael!” And with that, Gavin stormed out of their shared apartment, not even giving Michael the chance to say another word.

It was okay, wasn't it? Sure Gavin left a lot, but he always returned, so of course, this would be like any other day, and Michael wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed about that.

But then _days_ passed and Gavin was still nowhere to be found. Michael tried texting him, calling him, leaving him voice mails, but he got nothing in response. He would go out to do his daily routines, ignoring everything and everyone around him because Gavin still wasn't back and he had no _fucking_ idea where he could be. He tried asking their mutual friends, but they didn't know either, and he trusted that they weren't lying to him.

One night after returning home from a walk, Michael turned on his TV for what seemed like the first time in weeks and he actually sat down in front of it to watch and listen to the news. The last he heard, although he hardly paid attention, was how people were mysteriously getting sicker and dying at a faster rate. He got himself comfortable on the couch as the news reporter began to talk about those sicknesses and deaths. So... it was still happening?

Michael raised an eyebrow as he noted the slight fear in her voice. “Doctors a-are still _desperately_ searching for a cure to end this, but it seems like it's moving faster than they can work.” And then Michael turned off his TV for the last time, because he wanted to think that was nonsense. He wasn't about to get sucked in and be afraid of leaving his place.

Doctors were looking for a cure, and surely they would get it, and things would be back to normal. It was how the world worked, but he underestimated just how ruined the world already was. The damage was too deep to recover from, but all he could think about was if Gavin was okay.

“Why should I care?” He asked himself harshly. “He's probably bending over a _fucking_ table _right_ now for whoever the hell he's been seeing.” His fingers curled into tight fists at the very thought and he really hoped he was wrong, but he just wanted Gavin to come home so they can fight about it further.

Michael took out his phone and started searching through a few things until his eyelids became too heavy to ignore. His bedroom felt too far and really, that bed never seemed as comfortable anymore without Gavin in it, so with a yawn, Michael sprawled himself out on the couch and closed his eyes.

* * *

 

There was a slight sound of helicopters and police sirens that woke Michael that next morning. He was going to ignore it, thinking it was merely some chase they were having with a thief or murderer, but as the helicopters seemed to multiply, he grew curious. He hurried up on his feet and headed for the window, having to squint from how bright it was outside, and that's when he saw it – hundreds of people running down the streets, frantically trying to get away from something. Michael held his breath and he stood there, frozen. Why were they running? What was happening? He looked up to find a helicopter above, but it was the men aiming their rifles down that made Michael jump back in fear.

“What the... what the _fuck_?” Michael shouted. His mind was running wild with thoughts, going back to what the lady on the news had said, what everyone on the news had been saying, but it couldn't be possible. This couldn't actually be happening. Not now.

“Gavin,” Michael choked out, turning around and spotting his phone on the coffee table. He ran to it, grabbing it quickly with his trembling hands and dialing Gavin's number. He pressed his phone against his ear and it rang... and rang... and then it was like the signal was lost. It wasn't that Gavin ignored his call or anything – the signal just gave out...

Michael could feel his heart beginning to pound in his chest as he pulled his phone to find that the signal had indeed been lost.

“What the hell-no! _Gavin_! Where the _fuck_ are you, you fuckin'...” Michael closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down by taking deep breaths, but there was something going on outside that he didn't understand and he couldn't even reach Gavin. He couldn't ask him if he was okay, if he was safe... if he was... _alive._ No, Gavin was _definitely_ alive. He had to be.

Michael was torn from these thoughts at the sound of doors being knocked down, followed by screams and voices sounding over radios. He could barely make out what the voices were saying, but he did catch “If _any_ of them are infected, shoot them now. We can't let more go through.”

The doors being knocked down were getting closer to his and knowing they were going to men roaming through his apartment, checking him to make sure he wasn't _infected_ (whatever the hell that meant), Michael braced himself by crouching down, clutching his useless phone in one hand.

“Gavin,” he breathed out, feeling his eyes slowly water, and then he flinched at the sight of his door being broken down.

A man in Military uniform stepped in, his face completely hidden by the helmet he was wearing, and Michael felt his throat go dry when the man aimed his rifle at him.

“Check him,” the man said to another and that's when the other appeared, also aiming his gun at Michael, and Michael swallowed as best as he could, ignoring the tear that rolled down his face. The other came rushing to his side, not even bothering to say anything to Michael as he grabbed Michael's arm and yanked him up off the ground. Michael tried staying still as he felt hands all around him, and then on his face, making him turn away a little.

“I'm not... I'm not sick,” he managed to say.

“Yeah, I think you're clean,” the man said, although he didn't sound too friendly. “Anyone else in here with you?” Michael opened his mouth to respond, but words momentarily failed him as Gavin came to mind. “I don't have all day. You either tell me or-”

“No,” Michael quickly answered, shaking his head. “N-no. No one else is here with me. I-I live alone.”

“Why do you sound so hesitate, then?”

“Because they kind of moved out without telling me, but I'm alone. I am. I'm... alone. It's just me now.” It was the first time Michael admitted it to himself, but he kind of knew it all alone. Gavin had left him. When he stormed out through that front door, he never intended on coming back, and feeling too angry to do anything, Michael didn't stop him. He was _alone._

The man pushed him forward, letting the other know he was fine and that he was to be taken to the safe center immediately. Michael looked to him questioningly, wanting to ask what the safe center was, but he didn't have time for questions, because he was grabbed again by his arm and dragged out. He saw other people being dragged out of their apartments, most of them looking as afraid as he felt. Oh, he was so afraid that he actually thought he was going to be sick.

None of this made sense.

Everything had been alright the night before... hadn't it? He had turned off the news before he could know more, and now he wished he hadn't.

At least he was being taken somewhere safe. It was a shame they weren't letting him grab any of his things- Michael's eyes widened suddenly when he remembered something in particular.

“M-my necklace!” He cried, gaining the attention of others, but then he looked down to find it dangling from his neck, and he let out a shaky sigh of relief. He would have felt lost without it, because that was truly the last thing he had of Gavin now, and he was going to be sure it stayed with him through all of this.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this was basically already fully written out in the outline, I decided to finish it up and post it early. Yeah, you got two chapters in a week, haha, but chapter three will definitely be posted on Wednesday. 
> 
> Song for this chapter: "The Hardest Part" by Nina Nesbitt.

Three months.

Three months had passed, according to those who had managed to keep track of the days, not like that mattered anymore. But it had been three months since Michael and everyone else had been pulled out of their homes. Some went other places while Michael was placed _here_ with absolutely no one he knew, but it felt like he was just _thrown_ in there so they could keep their eye on him and feel good about themselves because Michael was another person they have “saved”.

But that wasn't it. Michael didn't feel saved. The others around... well, sure, they thought they were safe, but Michael had a bad feeling about the place from the second he approached it. It seemed perfect... _too_ perfect, as if they knew this whole disaster was going to happen, so they created this just in time, and that didn't settle right with Michael. Then again, perhaps that was the case, because they did know shit was going to go down hill, and they probably told everyone about making these places, and Michael just didn't know about it since he kept avoiding checking up with the news. That was most likely the answer, considering no one else seemed to be surprised by this place.

Even so, Michael had made it his mission to leave his second day there.

He had to leave this... this shelter... Well, _would_ it be called a shelter? It was more of a locked down neighborhood to keep all of those who “earned” their safety protected from the infected world beyond the gates. Some people that didn't “earn” it were kicked out (literally) and left to fend for their own, and that was _another_ thing that made Michael uneasy about the whole situation. This was all a game of survival of the fittest, because if someone couldn't help or was causing any sort of problems, they were deemed worthless. Oh, but it was fine, right? Because the ones in there were “protected”.

That's just what the ones in charge would tell themselves at night so they could continue on with feeling good about saving the healthy people.

The rules were strict, though, and ones that Michael was growing more and more tired of following and pretending to care about. They wanted to keep things in order, and sure, he could understand that. They wanted to control everything so no one else would get sick, but Michael believed there were better ways of doing it. Better ways that _didn't_ include keeping people hostage like some animals.

That's why Michael had his plan.

There were guards who stood by the gates that would switch with another group of guards throughout the night, so Michael knew leaving wouldn't be simple. No one was ever allowed to leave unless they were a leader, and Michael was just one of the citizens doing their part in “helping” and “surviving” within the place. His plan was to sneak passed when the guards were switching shifts, because that was one of the only times they would slightly distracted. They were good at their job, Michael wouldn't deny that, and that was what was annoying.

The curfew for everyone to sleep was a few hours after the sun would set, and since the clocks stopped working long ago, everyone assumed that would be around ten PM. And what Michael assumed would be one AM is when the guards switched. As soon as everyone had closed their doors and were settled into bed, Michael stayed hidden behind a building near the gates with only a backpack filled with the little belongings he had received when he was put there, and he waited quietly. He did doze off a little here and there, but the sounds of the guards giving each other the signal to switch was enough to wake him and be on alert again.

Michael got to his feet and peeked around the corner, watching intently as the main man, Carson, in charge spoke to another guard.

“Gates securely and tightly shut?” Carson asked, hands behind him in a “professional” matter.

“Double checked and yanked on; they won't budge a bit,” the guard responded, giving him a smile that didn't even reach her eyes.

The man nodded. “Good, good. I'd say it's time for you and Anderson to sleep. Johnson and I will take over.”

“Of course,” she started to gather her weapons and gave him another small smile before beginning to walk off with Anderson quickly following.

Michael licked his lips and started to approach the scene.

“Oh, Garcia!” Carson called to the guard again, making her halt in her tracks and spin around to face him.

“Yes?” She asked.

“I walked by one of the rooms earlier and it seems one is empty. I can't exactly recall who is staying in that room, but someone is indeed missing.”

 _Fuck_ , Michael thought to himself, shaking his head. They _were_ good.

“That isn't possible,” Garcia told him, “Every room was checked right after curfew. Weren't they?”

“You tell me.”

Okay, this plan of Michael's was taking terribly too long. Michael decided it was time to strike or remain stuck in this hell. He reached into the small pocket of his backpack and pulled out the hunting knife he had snagged from Carson's office a few weeks earlier, because this plan of his had been in mind for a month, which was why he was tired of waiting. He was on his last step and he was ready to be done with it.

Staying low, Michael stalked his way behind a tree near the two, his eyes staying on the little spot on the side of Carson's forehead.

“Alright, don't worry. I'll go see _and_ find out who isn't in their room,” Garcia said to Carson. Carson nodded.

“And bring them into my office tomorrow morning. I think it'd be fun to talk to them about being out after curfew.”

Garcia smirked in a sort of devious way that sent a chill down Michael's back. “Of course,” she practically whispered to Carson, and then she turned to start walking off again.

Michael tightened his grip on the knife and was about to jump out of his hiding spot when someone grabbed his arm from behind. Michael froze momentarily, his blood going cold, but then the person spoke.

“What do you think you're doing?” Kerry... it was just Kerry.

Michael released the breath he'd been holding and turned around to face the only decent person he'd met since this all happened. “I'm leaving,” he whispered. “Do you wanna come with me?”

Kerry's eyes widened. “Are you kidding me? No. Michael, we'll get killed,” his voice was especially quiet with those last words.

“I'll gladly take that risk if it means getting out of here and actually living a life.”

“There is no life out there, Michael. Not anymore.”

“Yes, there is.”

“No, Michael. The people out there are struggling to survive, and the rest are the dead that have come back. We can't go anywhere. I know it sucks here, believe me, I _know_ , but it's better than being out there with those things,” Kerry nodded towards the gate.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and stepped closer to him. “Do you even know who's out there, Kerry?”

“A lot of people that don't deserve to be,” Kerry answered, his face falling.

“Fuck yeah, but you know who's out there for me?”

Kerry swallowed hard as his eyes shifted down to the necklace around Michael's neck and noticing that, Michael grabbed it.

“I get it, Michael,” Kerry looked him in the eye again, “But how are you so sure that-”

“Don't you fucking say it,” and it was the anger fueling in Michael's eyes that made Kerry oblige. “I'm going to find him. No matter what the fuck it takes; I'll find him. So, you can either come with me, or wish me luck.”

Kerry looked over to where Carson was setting up with Johnson, and he sighed. “Good luck, Michael,” he said softly, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. “I'll be here if you ever come back.”

“I won't, but thanks for the reassurance.”

“Anytime.”

Michael smiled at Kerry and Kerry put his hand down. Michael finally let go of the pendant and turned back to look at who he had to deal with to get out while Kerry took a deep breath and whispered a goodbye. Michael listened to his footsteps get further and further away until he knew he was alone in that spot again, and he frowned.

“I'll find you, Gav,” he whispered. “I promise.” What Kerry almost asked was a good question, though, no matter how much Michael didn't want to think about it. It had been three months. Who knew where Gavin was and _how_ he was, but Michael couldn't afford to think negatively, so he chose to ignore the possibilities.

He bit down on his lower lip as Carson turned away to say something to Johnson, and Michael knew this was his only time. He clenched his teeth and took off towards them. There was a gun shot that had Michael practically tripping over himself in order to stop running without being caught, and it seemed to work, because Carson and Johnson didn't even look in his direction once when they looked everywhere else to try and figure out where that shot had come from.

There was another, and another.

“It came from over there,” Carson said, pointing towards the other side, “Come on!” He and Johnson didn't hesitate to run towards the gun shots that were now going off wildly, and Michael's eyes widened excitedly. The gate was left alone.

Michael hurried towards it and knowing there was no way he would be able to break the locks open, he decided on climbing. The shots were still going, but they weren't heading in his direction at all, thankfully. Michael was about halfway up when he heard someone shout “Hey!” and he knew it was directed towards him.

“We got a runner!”

Michael looked over his shoulder to find Carson running back towards him and he cursed under his breath before speeding up his climbing technique.

“I will _shoot_ you down if I have to!”

“Shoot me, then, asshole!” Michael yelled back, not bothering to look at him anymore. “I'd rather die than be here!” Although the thought of Carson standing there, aiming a gun at him did make his heart pound faster than it already was. He stopped climbing and shut his eyes, bracing himself for the pain, but then he heard a groan, followed by a loud “Fucking shit!” and Michael opened his eyes again to look and see Carson on his knees, clutching his arm. He'd been shot.

Michael gulped and continued to climb. He was almost there anyway. There was sweat running down his face, some of it falling onto his eyes and making him wish he would have taken his glasses off before starting the climb. His breathing was also picking up, but he had to finish this. He had to get out.

Once he was up at the top, he froze. He knew the barb wire was there before he climbed, but now being right next to it, he wasn't sure how go about this with little damage. He started to attempt to swing his leg over, and he managed to do so successfully, but as he tried moving, he found that the wire had caught onto one of the small holes in his jeans.

“No,” he breathed out, “No, fuck... please...”

The best thing to do in a situation like this was to not panic, but that's exactly what he was doing. The wire was beginning to pierce his skin the more he struggled to get himself free. It didn't help that his eyes were also beginning to water, because he had gotten this far and now he was stuck. He was stuck and all he wanted was Gavin to be there. He just wanted to see Gavin, to see him smiling, to hold him, and kiss him, and tell him endlessly how much he loves him.

And he was just stuck on top of the fence, slowly making himself bleed.

“Please,” the words came out choked and exhausted, like his throat was in dire need of water, which it was. “Please. I just need to see him again. _Please._ ” Another gun shot went off, startling him, and he yanked his leg again until the wire ripped off a piece of his jeans and let him free. Maybe it was tears, or more sweat, but his face was drenched.

He sniffled and finished swinging his other leg over just in time to duck down and miss the bullet that almost flew passed him. And now that he was on the other side, hanging onto the fence, he wasn't sure if he could breathe properly. His heart throbbed from how roughly it was beating and his entire body felt like it was trembling, especially his hands. He just stayed there for a second, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths until he felt steady enough to make the climb down.

All he could hear on the other side was pure shouting, shooting, full on chaos, and he could only imagine, and shudder at that imagination, of the many dead bodies that were probably now lying around. When his feet touched the ground, he fell to his knees, but now that he was fully on the other side, he sighed in relief and wiped his wet curls away from his drenched forehead.

Those gun shots were no coincidence, and he knew that so well.

“Thanks, Kerry,” he whispered before pulling himself up to his feet and taking off down the road, even though his legs were protesting as much as they could. He would take care of the cuts later.

But that was how he found himself sitting near a dirty stream in the woods, alone and a little afraid. The second the sun rose and he was able to see his surroundings better, he stopped to check on his legs, but the bleeding seemed to have stopped, so he merely made his way towards this stream to clean off the cuts, and now he had no idea what to do or where to go.

His biggest fear was going in the opposite direction of Gavin and never finding him. He needed to think this through carefully. Where would Gavin go?

Well, that was always the question, wasn't it? The question Michael never had the answer to.

“God damnit,” he said under his breath, running his fingers through his hair. Well, just standing around wasn't going to help anything, so with all the hope he had less, he picked a direction and went on his way.

He hadn't seen any of _them_ – the creatures – since he left the “neighborhood”, but he knew they were around. They were always around. It was why those who were thrown out were either killed or were lucky enough to find a group that would take them in. Michael wasn't sure if he wanted to find a group. He somewhat felt like he did much better on his own, but if the opportunity came, well, he would be weary and he wouldn't give in so easily. Even before all of this crap happened, it was difficult, sometimes, to trust anyone, but now it was worse.

Michael kept the hunting knife clutched in one hand and with the other, he wiped his forehead again. The Texas heat certainly wasn't letting up anytime soon. He was ready to take another small break to grab some water when a creak of twigs and dead leaves being stepped on make him freeze momentarily. Whoever or whatever it was, they were clearly making their way towards Michael.

“Shit,” Michael breathed out before spinning around, raising his knife up and ready to attack. That probably could have worked if he had expected the kick to the stomach, but he hadn't, and he quickly found himself out of air for a second as he fell backwards and hit the ground roughly. As he looked up, he came face-to-face with a man; one with a comical type mustache and tired eyes, but what really caught Michael's attention were the tattoos that covered his arms. Overall, if this were any other situation, he would have backed the fuck off so fast, but considering the circumstances, he wasn't about to give up without a fight.

“You motherfucker,” Michael said through gritted teeth as he attempted to jump up on his feet, but the man pushed him back down and pinned his arms above his head. Michael held on tightly to his knife, because no matter what, he wasn't going to lose that right now. “Get off of me!” He shouted at the stranger and was surprised to find him smiling.

“Calm down, because I'm not planning on killing you,” the man spoke, and he did sound pretty genuine, but Michael knew better than that.

“Prove it by getting the fuck off me.”

“So you can stab me?” The man shook his head. “Sorry, but I don't think so. I'm not letting you go until I'm sure you won't kill _me_.”

“Give me a reason not to,” Michael challenged. “You're the asshole that tried sneaking up on me and then KICKED ME to the ground.”

“Hey, I only did that because I saw you aiming for my head with that knife of yours. It's called self defense.”

“Right, yeah. So, am I supposed to believe that you weren't trying to kill me and take my stuff? That you were just sneaking up on me to have a little chat?”

“Of course.”

“I don't fucking think so.”

“Okay, fine. How about we try something different?” The man loosened his grip slightly on Michael's wrists as he continued to speak, “I'm Geoff. Nice to meet you.” And there was that smile again.

Michael squinted his eyes at him. “Do I look like I care?”

“Hmm, you're a real son of a bitch, aren't you?”

“It's either be a bitch or die.”

Geoff laughed, a sort of laugh that seem to fill his entire body. “That's probably the best fucking thing I've heard since this all started,” he laughed as he spoke and Michael rolled his eyes.

“Ha-ha, yeah I'm _hilarious_ ,” Michael sarcastically said, shaking his head.

Geoff inhaled sharply as he tried calming himself down and when he finally managed to do so, he said, “You kind of are. But seriously, introduce yourself to me. What's your name?”

“I'll tell you if you get the fuck off of me.”

“Yeah, fine, but no stabbing. Okay?”

“No kicking, then.”

Geoff pursed his lips as he thought that over, but then he nodded and released Michael's wrists. “Fine,” and he slowly stood up. Michael remained on the ground for a few seconds as he watched Geoff carefully, but seeing that he was going to keep his unofficial promise, Michael started to get up as well.

“Just keep that thing away from my face and heart and we'll be okay,” Geoff told him as he noticed that Michael was only tightening his grip on the knife now that he was on his feet.

“Right,” Michael practically whispered, squinting his eyes. “I'm Michael.”

The corners of Geoff's mouth twitched up and he nodded. “Michael, hi. It's nice to meet you.”

“Uh-huh, I bet it is.”

“Look, I already told you, I'm not here to take your shit. I just saw you wandering around on your own and decided to come see if you were alright.”

Michael almost laughed at that, but he resisted. “What kind of bullshit is that?”

“The kind of bullshit that's the truth. Now, are you actually out here alone or did you just wander away from your group to get stuff?”

“It matters?”

“Look, kid-”

“Don't call me that.”

“Look, _Michael_ -”

“Much better.”

Geoff sighed deeply. “Do you have a group or not? I'm gonna assume you do, because I have a hard time believing you've been out here alone this whole time.”

“But I have. I don't do well with others. Not anymore, anyway.”

Geoff blinked hard, but he looked over Michael's face and saw no trace of a lie. “Wait... you're fucking serious? You've been out here _all_ alone since this whole shit started?” Michael's expression softened, though he didn't get to answer, because Geoff went on, “I know it can probably be possible, but _wow._ I'm impressed, because that's not easy. I mean, I'm on my own _now,_ but I just recently left a group, so I haven't been alone for too long. But you... you have.”

Michael stuck out his tongue to wet his dry lips and tried to think of something to say – anything, really. When he didn't respond, Geoff took a step forward to which Michael took one backwards.

“It only surprises me more than it should because how old are you? You don't look a day over nineteen,” Geoff told him and Michael scoffed.

“I'm twenty-seven, thank you very much,” he retorted.

Geoff's eyes widened and he breathed out a laugh. “Now you're _seriously_ kidding around with me, right?”

“I'm not.”

“Jesus Christ. What the hell were you eating before this shit started to keep you young?”

“Shut up,” Michael rolled his eyes.

Geoff was going to laugh, but then he decided it'd be best if he didn't. “So you really haven't found yourself in any sort of group?”

Again, Michael found himself a little hesitant on his answer, but he cleared his throat and answered, “Like I said, I don't do well with others.”

Geoff nodded. “Fair enough.”

And as silence began to fall over them, Michael took another step back and flinched when Geoff moved slightly. Geoff groaned and shook his head.

“For the _tenth_ time, I'm not going to kill you.”

“Oh, it's been less than ten times that you have told me.”

“Either way, it's true.”

“I just have to be sure, Geoff. You understand, right?”

“Indeed I do, and I'm guessing this is how you've kept yourself alive this whole time.”

Michael swallowed hard and started to slowly turn away, because there was no way he was sticking around longer. Geoff watched him take a few steps away before he called out.

“Wait! You're leaving?”

Michael stopped and looked at over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “No shit. I gotta keep moving. I'm starving.”

“Oh, I've got food if you want some,” Geoff said as he started opening up the backpack that Michael barely realized he was wearing. The older man pulled out a piece of bread and a box of crackers, and oh yes, they looked appetizing. Still, Michael wasn't going to stick around.

“No, thanks. I can find my own,” he looked away again and started walking off.

Geoff opened his mouth to call out for him again, but then he just sighed and placed bit into the piece of bread instead. The first person he sees in days and it's a stubborn one. Great.

Michael would be lying if he said he didn't have the urge to take off in a sprint while occasionally checking over his shoulder, but he remained as calm as possible and simply walked a reasonable speed.

“ _My life cannot just revolve around you!”_

There seemed to be a lump that formed in Michael's throat as the words went through his head. He tried swallowing it away, but the images of Gavin walking out that door was only adding to it. That _wasn't_ going to be the last time Michael saw him. No, he refused to believe that was the last time.

“I'll find you, Gav,” he whispered to himself. “I'll find-”

“Michael, look out!” Michael froze in his tracks as a sort of hungry _growl_ reached his ears. He spun around to find one of _them_ about to pounce at him. Hastily, he raised his hand that was clutching the knife, but as the creature ran forwards, he gasped and out of panic, he turned back around and took off. The gun shot was what made him scream and duck instantly to shield himself as he best as he could. He could have kept running... he could have... he _should_ have.... but the fear that had been building up in him since he saw the creature coming after him was now too much to handle.

“Gavin,” he cried out as a shadow went over him and as soon as a hand was on his shoulder, he knew it was over.

Three months.

He survived three months.

He could have done better.

He didn't even get to see Gavin one more time...

He shut his eyes tightly and braced himself for-

“Michael,” he heard Geoff say.

Michael let out a gasp and opened his eyes wide before turning his head and looking up to find Geoff staring down at him, utter concern filling his features.

“Oh, thank fuck, it's just you,” Michael practically whispered as he clutched his chest. His heart felt as though it could break through from how rapid it was pounding.

“Hey, come on, buddy, get up,” Geoff said softly as he attempted to grab Michael by the arm to help him on his feet, but Michael pulled away and snarled at him.

“Don't call me that. I'm not your _buddy_ ,” he snapped as he jumped up and started brushing off his shirt, like it mattered.

Geoff put his hands up in defense. “I'm sorry, Michael.”

“Yes, there you go. Why do you keep on insisting on calling me everything else?”

“I've only called you two other names. Relax.”

Michael huffed, but he couldn't help the relief he felt inside. If Geoff hadn't... wait... Michael turned himself more to face the man better.

“Were you _following_ me?”

“I heard the growls and couldn't help myself from turning back to make sure you were fine.”

“I could have handled it.”

“Says the guy who just _took_ _off_ running the second he saw the thing and _then_ fell to his knees when he heard the gun shot.”

Michael cleared his throat and shrugged. “Maybe I was a little caught off guard, but I... I could have taken that thing down on my own.”

“Yeah, I don't doubt it,” Geoff waved him off, “You wouldn't have made it this long if you didn't know how to take care of yourself around them.” And luckily, he didn't notice the uneasy look Michael had on his face for a small moment. Geoff began looking around to make sure he didn't catch the attention of others with the gun shot and Michael figured he should say something.

“Thanks, I guess,” he mumbled, averting his eyes.

Geoff looked back at him and smiled slowly. “No problem, bud- uh... Michael.” Michael couldn't help but smile a bit as well. He also couldn't help but flinch when Geoff started rummaging through his backpack again, though he calmed down when he saw Geoff was merely pulling out the food again.

“Have some,” the older man said, holding out the box of crackers, and judging by the expression on his face, it appeared he wasn't going to take “no” for an answer.

Michael sighed deeply and gently took the box from him. As he stuffed his mouth with a handful of cheddar flavored crackers, his stomach growled loudly, because they still tasted so fresh... so delicious, and god damn, he was so thankful. Geoff smiled sadly as he watched the way Michael closed his eyes and chewed on those crackers like they were the best thing to happen to him.

Back at that locked neighborhood, food was becoming pretty scarce, which wasn't really a surprise, so Michael only really ate one decent meal a day. Any kind of food, and any amount, sounded beautiful to him at the moment.

Once he realized how he probably looked, Michael licked his lips and opened his eyes. He swallowed roughly and handed the box back, but Geoff refused to take it.

“I still got some bread for myself,” he told Michael and Michael didn't complain.

Apparently that opportunity of possibly having someone around came earlier than expected. But just because Geoff seemed extremely friendly and helpful didn't mean Michael wasn't going to stay on alert.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There some gross descriptions in this chapter lol i mean, they could be looked at as gross and stuff, but ya know, what do you expect when it comes to zombies? 
> 
> Song of the chapter is: "Set The Fire to the Third Bar" by Snow Patrol.

Running... that's basically all it was everyday unless they were sure nothing dangerous was around. Searching... just to see what they could find to help them keep going with more energy, but energy seemed to be draining with every second that passed. Perhaps it was the damn heat, or perhaps it was the combination of that mixed with little consumption of food and water. There were some days that Michael could hardly pick himself up from weak he was getting. There were some moments where he would have to stop walking to bend over, but although he heaved and heaved, nothing would even come out, because there was hardly anything inside to begin with.

When it got bad like that, Geoff would decide that the spot they had stopped at would be the stop for the night. He would ignore the way Michael protested, saying that he was fine and they should keep going.

And this particular day was no different.

“I know we're running low on food, Michael, but look at you,” Geoff gestured towards him, “You need to sleep and I mean actually sleep. I know you've been keeping yourself up at night. It's keeping me up.”

“Sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep,” Michael bitterly said, rolling his eyes.

“I don't care about me, Michael. I'm worried about _you_.”

“Well, you don't have to. I don't even know why I'm still sticking around with you, but once we both have enough supplies to last us each for a while, I'm out,” Michael turned away slightly to spit before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and walking towards the stream that was nearby. He grabbed his and Geoff's empty water bottles on his way.

Geoff frowned as he watched him walk off. Michael had said the same damn thing over and over for the past week since they met each other, but Geoff was still unsure whether to believe it or not. He didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to see Michael go out on his own even if he had been doing that for months. Things were getting rougher each day and Geoff just hated the idea of something happening to Michael because he wasn't there to help.

It was almost a bit strange how protective Geoff already felt over him. They'd been together for a week, but in all honesty, all they knew about each other were their names. They weren't even on a last name basis, but Geoff cared. He cared so much.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that Michael had a sort of innocence to his face, one that really made him appear younger than he was (because seriously? Twenty-seven years old with that much of a baby face?), and Geoff had no kids – he didn't get a chance to have any – but he was pretty sure this was what it meant to be a father. To feel the need to protect and watch over, to rather get hurt than let them suffer, because all that mattered was their survival. They came first.

Even though Michael had a loud mouth and attitude that made it a little difficult for Geoff to doubt that he could make it on his own, he still didn't want them to separate.

Geoff sighed softly as he sat down against a tree. He looked up at that blue sky, because despite the crap going on around them, that sky remained beautiful as ever. The corners of his lips were just about to rise up when he felt something hard hit his stomach. He jumped and looked down to find his water bottle – now full – in his lap.

“Drink up,” Michael spoke, “It's actually not that dirty.”

Geoff lifted his head up to stare at Michael. “Thanks.” He then uncapped the bottle and took a sip, but he stopped when he noticed the way Michael was practically downing all of his. It caused his heart to ache a little, because the poor boy seemed to never get enough water no matter how much he drank.

When Michael finally stopped, his bottle was only a quarter full.

Geoff shook his head and averted his eyes as he asked, “Feeling any better?”

“I told you I was fine enough to keep going,” Michael answered and it was like he tried to add that coldness to his words, but they came out soft instead.

“No, you aren't. Which is why you're gonna sit down an just relax.”

“I _can't_ relax, Geoff. How can you even _think_ about relaxing at a time like this?”

“It's one thing to survive an attack from those things, but it's _another_ to remember your health plays a huge role in living, too!”

“My health is fine!” Oh, _there_ was a hint of that sharp tone, and yet, Michael's expression remained a bit soft, because even trying to be mad was exhausting him.

“No, you're not,” Geoff also changed his tone of voice. He was stern and that only seemed to fuel Michael further, well, as much as that fire could light with the little energy he was running on.

“I... you...” Michael sputtered as he looked around, figuring out what the hell to say. He wrinkled up his nose and faced Geoff again. “Just... fuck you,” he uttered out and Geoff sighed through his nose.

He was about to say something else, but he quickly shut his mouth when he saw Michael slowly sitting down against a tree away from him. At least Michael was finally going to take it easy.

The two of them sat in complete silence, which felt a little off, because it felt nearly impossible to get a moment of peaceful silence now, but there it was... nothing but the sounds of the water nearby and their breathing. Geoff noticed the way Michael constantly swallowed hard and closed his eyes, like he was desperately attempting to rid of the sickening nausea still nagging at him without asking for Geoff's help. Geoff looked around him as he thought of some sort of solution to make Michael feel slightly better, because what if something happened and they had to get up and leave? Of course Michael wouldn't let being ill stop him, but Geoff preferred if Michael didn't feel sick at all in case that happened.

“What if you splashed some water on your face?” He asked, facing forward in the direction of the stream. He wanted to laugh as he imagined himself tossing water on Michael's face, but he held it in and merely shook his head. And when he got no response from the lad, he licked his dry lips and added, “Hey, you know, it could cool you off a little...” but there was still no answer, so he turned his head to find Michael sitting there with his head thrown back, lips parted and eyes shut.

The sun didn't seem to be hitting him too much in that spot either, so Geoff smiled before getting up on his feet and walking over to him. He quietly grabbed the nearly empty bottle and headed off to refill it with more water.

It had been a slow and quite uneventful day, but they were both safe, and that's really what mattered.

Michael had woken up about an hour later to a growling stomach – his own.

“Tomorrow we'll go into a city or town and grab as much food as we can manage,” Geoff spoke as he rummaged through his backpack, “so tonight, let's just eat the rest of what we have.” He pulled out out the last piece of bread, some more of those crackers, and even a few apples he'd been saving for emergencies. The apples were obviously going rotten and possibly losing their whole sweetness, but Geoff figured they wouldn't be bad. Michael surely didn't seem to mind, considering his face lit up entirely at the sight of them.

Geoff handed Michael an apple and the rest of the bread while he kept an apple for himself along with the last little bit of crackers (which were basically just crushed pieces and crumbs). Michael actually grinned before biting into the fruit and Geoff was left with wanting to laugh at the sight, but also frown. He decided against both and just indulged himself in his own apple.

The sun seemed to be slowly setting; it would be night time soon enough and they wouldn't have to deal with the heat as much until noon of the next day.

Not wanting to dwell into utter silence again, Geoff swallowed roughly and looked at Michael. “Ramsey,” he said suddenly and of course that was enough to get Michael's attention.

Michael looked back at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What?”

“My last name is Ramsey,” Geoff clarified.

Michael's expression softened as he averted his eyes and took another bite of the apple, evidently avoiding the most rotten part of it. He seemed to be deep in some sort of thought, possibly considering what Geoff had told him and why and Geoff remained quiet the whole time.

“This matters to me why?” Michael finally asked, meeting Geoff's eye again.

Geoff shrugged a shoulder. “Figured we should know more about each other, little by little.”

“Yeah, alright, but I'm not about to fucking sit here for hours and tell you my life story.”

“I said little by little, didn't I?”

Michael opened his mouth to respond, but then he closed his mouth, that same concentrated look on his face once more. “Jones...” he said softly, close to a whisper, “Michael Jones.” He brought his free hand up to clutch the pendant around his neck and Geoff couldn't help but stare questioningly at him. This wasn't the first time he had caught Michael doing that with an expression that was mixed of all sorts of emotions ranging mostly from worry, fear, and loss.

“That necklace has a big meaning behind it, doesn't it?” Geoff asked him, even though he was sure he would get a bad reaction.

“Little by little,” Michael answered in a very hushed tone as that look of loss completely took over his features. “Little by little.”

Geoff sighed and returned his gaze to his apple, but he wasn't done speaking. “I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years when this all happened... and she... she was actually out of town and was supposed to return in a week, but-” he shrugged, “The last time I talked to her, she was about to head out to dinner with her friends. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me back, and that was that. I haven't talked to her since.”

Michael had been listening intently, a sympathetic and understanding look on his face. He almost wanted to tell Geoff that he kind of knew _exactly_ how he felt, but he didn't want to discuss that yet. “My...” he cleared his throat, “My best friend was out of town, too. She was visiting family and I'm pretty sure the day everything fucked up was the day she was coming home, and my biggest regret is that I let the problems I was dealing with stop me from keeping in contact with her, so I have no fucking idea if she was okay or _had_ been okay the days prior...”

He paused to shake his head, “I was supposed to be her best friend and I didn't bother to talk to her about anything that was going on with me. I didn't bother to try talking to her at all.” Michael frowned and started to curl up a little more.

“Don't beat yourself over it, Michael,” Geoff told him. “It doesn't make you a bad friend because you didn't talk to her about your problems. She would have understood.”

“Yeah, but I just... I wish I could hear her say that. I-I... god damnit, I just hope she's okay.” _I hope Gavin's okay, too. Just..._ please _be okay. Both of you._ Michael closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath.

_There were very few days that Michael allowed himself to sleep in. They would usually be Sundays or on his days off, but there some days off where he would be up before the sun because he had plenty of stuff to get done and the hours had a tendency of flying by. But on this day, he decided to be kind to himself and sleep as much as he wanted._

_He was slowly waking up, but he kept his eyes closed in an attempt to fall back into a deep sleep. He was just about to get there when fingers trailing down his arm caused a shiver to run through him._

“ _God damnit, Gavin,” he grumbled, half awake and slightly delighted. That delight was revealed by the lazy smile that slowly spread across his face and when Gavin noticed it, he grinned and leaned down to bury his face in the crook of Michael's neck._

“ _You're always bitching about how I never treat myself to enough sleep and when I finally do, you do this,” Michael told him._

“ _I've been awake for an hour. I'm bored,” Gavin mumbled into his neck and his warm breath was surprisingly extremely comforting against Michael's skin that Michael hummed contently._

“ _You could have gotten up to do something.”_

“ _It's not fun without you,” Gavin shook his head, his hair tickling Michael's face a bit, but Michael didn't even mind. He was used to it._

“ _What exactly is not fun without me?” He asked._

“ _Everything.”_

_Michael couldn't even stop his smile from increasing at that and he turned over to lie on his back._

_Gavin lifted himself up a little to hover a bit over Michael. “I'll let you get more sleep, love,” he leaned down again, but this time, he placed a quick kiss on Michael's forehead. Michael watched as he started to get up, but just as his feet touched the ground, he reached out and grabbed his wrist to keep him from trying to stand up._

_Gavin looked at Michael over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow and Michael tugged on his wrist once._

“ _Stay,” he whispered, smirking as if he had some mischievous idea in mind and well, how could Gavin say no to that?_

When Michael opened his eyes again, Geoff was surprised to find them filled with tears, but he said nothing as Michael roughly wiped them with the back of his hand.

“Is... is she the meaning behind the necklace?” Geoff hesitantly questioned.

Michael took another bite of his apple and stood up. “Story time is over, Geoff,” he answered as he munched on the piece and walked off.

Geoff didn't bother asking where he was going since he was heading in the stream's direction. Well, if he was being completely honest with himself, Geoff was surprised with the information he got out of Michael, because he wasn't expecting to get much or any at all. So, that would have to do.

After finishing off his apple and the crumbs of crackers, he got up as well and started to try to make the area around him look decent and tried ridding of most of the sticks on the ground so he and Michael wouldn't be bothered by them when they tried to sleep later. It didn't matter too much, he knew that, but he just wanted to give himself something to do while Michael was gone.

 

* * *

 

As soon as the sun was completely set and there was nothing but a dark sky with stars and a moon above them, Geoff and Michael settled down onto the ground as best as they could. The ground would just _never_ be comfortable, no matter how tired they might be.

Due to the heat during the day, Michael decided to only wear his beanie at night, especially because it helped making the ground feel less rough. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes over and over, because he wasn't sure if he could manage to fall asleep – not when his thoughts were running millions of miles with so many different things and memories.

“ _You know I love you, right?”_

“ _Shut up.”_

“ _I do, Michael, and I_ always _will.”_

“ _I love you, too, Gav. So much.”_

Michael pursed his lips as he felt those damn tears from earlier returning, but unlike earlier, he let them escape. He didn't know how much time passed that was just lying there with tears rolling down his cheeks and trying to steady his breathing, but however long it was, it was enough to help him finally pass out. He was so deep into his sleep that he couldn't comprehend what was going on when he felt himself being shaken awake.

“Michael, get up!” He could barely hear whoever was talking from how much he was fighting to remain asleep. “Michael! We have to go!”

Michael groaned and raised his hands up, attempting to shoo them away, but that only seemed to increase the shaking.

“ _Michael_!” The voice was angry now.

“Five more minutes, baby. I promise,” he muttered, and that seemed to do the trick, because the shaking stopped and he was left alone. He sighed in relief and started to turn over onto his side when he felt himself being lifted up.

“Hey, what the fuck?!” He shouted, startled, and fully waking himself up by opening his eyes wide. And reality came back to him.

The trees came back into view, but they were zooming past him... or rather, _he_ was zooming past them. He looked at who was carrying him and he was met with Geoff's face, not Gavin's. Geoff looked down at him with a stern expression.

“You awake _now_?” He asked. Michael nodded and Geoff slowly put him down. “We have to hurry.”

“Why?” Michael asked, still feeling groggy.

“Look over my shoulder if you feel like shitting yourself.”

Michael blinked hard, his eyebrows twitching together, but he did look over Geoff's shoulder and he really wish he hadn't. Geoff quickly took off one of the backpacks he was wearing and tossed it at Michael. Michael barely caught it, but when he did, he held onto it tightly.

“I managed to grab our stuff before it was too late, but they're coming at us fast,” Geoff explained, “So _run_ and _don't_ stop! Even if we get separated. Just _keep_ running,” and as he said those last words, he was already taking off.

Michael didn't even stop to think it over further. He didn't dare look at those _things_ again. He just turned around and _ran_ , just as Geoff had told him to, but he made sure to stay closely behind him. As he ran, he put his backpack on and kept all of his attention on Geoff while doing so.

 _Just keep looking at him. Keep running._ Don't _lose him._

The growling was starting to become audible and Michael could hardly feel his legs from how fast he was going. His heart pounding against his chest actually hurt, but he bit down on his lower lip to ignore it. He had to keep going. He couldn't risk stopping, not even for a minute.

They were catching up.

Michael was about to close the small gap between him and Geoff when Geoff abruptly halted in his tracks, causing Michael to do the same. He watched as Geoff grabbed one of those creatures by the hair and with his another hand, he lunged his knife into the side of its head. Michael cringed as he heard the slimy and rubbery noises that came from it as Geoff twisted his knife inside its brain.

Knowing with no doubt that the damn thing was dead, Geoff pulled his weapon out and turned to face Michael.

“Come on,” he said, but at the sound of Michael's gasp, he spun around to find another behind him. “Where the _fuck_ did _you_ come from?” Geoff asked it as he held onto its shoulder and tried pushing it back. Geoff's gun was in his backpack and there was no way he would be able to grab it, not when the creature was urging forwards, chomping its teeth. Letting go of one shoulder would only give it an advantage to bite Geoff easier.

“ _I do trust that everyone knows what will happen if one of our men returns with a bite,” Carson spoke as he stood in front of the crowd. Everyone looked around at each other, questionable looks on their faces that had Carson sighing deeply. “A bite from those..._ monsters, _will only result in the victim becoming one of them. If you aren't already infected,_ that's _how it would happen, and if it were to happen to any of us, we'd have no choice but to eliminate the person.”_

Michael gulped. He knew this wasn't something Geoff could get out of without help, no matter how shaken up he now felt. He reached back into his backpack's side pocket and pulled out his own hunting knife, although the fear was threatening to completely take over.

“Aw, fuck, you reek!” Geoff shouted at the creature, scrunching up his face in disgust.

Michael started marching forwards, narrowing his eyes and clenching his teeth as he got closer and just as Geoff looked as though he could no longer hold the thing back, Michael did exactly what Geoff had done to the previous creature. He grabbed it by the hair and yanked its head back until it was off of Geoff before digging his knife into the rotten flesh. The creature went completely silent at the contact, but Michael wasn't done yet. He fell onto his knees as the creature started to go down and he pulled his knife out, snarling at the creature as he stabbed the knife back into its head with more force... and then again... and again... and... _almost_ again. As he swung his arm up to prepare himself for another round, Geoff stopped him.

“There's more coming, Michael; we _have_ to keep going! That one's dead! It's fine. Let's go!”

Michael's expression softened and he looked up at Geoff. A bit of the creature's blood had splattered over Michael's face and without saying a word, he got up on his feet and they both took off running again.

So that's how it felt to kill one of them...

That had been the first time.

It almost felt wrong, yet so right.

That creature had once been _human_ – that's what made it feel wrong. The fact that it was trying to bite into Geoff's neck and kill him was what made killing it first feel _so_ right.

Geoff ended up stopping again, but this time, he began to climb a tree and Michael widened his eyes as he watched for a moment. When was the last time he climbed a tree? Maybe he was like seven... eight? Nine?

“Get up!” Geoff shouted down at him.

Michael sighed and obliged, because there was no way he was staying down there. He hurried as fast as he could before any of _them_ could notice them up there. Michael carefully sat himself down next to Geoff on the large branch and they watched the creatures pass by, all growling and groaning beneath them, but none of them looked up. None of them knew they were up there.

They were safe.

And now that they were, that fear took place in Michael. He was trembling like the weather had dropped below forty degrees. Geoff frowned and gently placed a hand on Michael's shoulder, giving it small squeezes every now and so to reassure Michael that they were indeed okay. Michael didn't say anything or look at him. They just sat up there in silence and waited.

After a while, it seemed like they were starting to clear out, because instead of seeing ten through fifteen walking by together, it was becoming to be only five or less that would pass by. Michael was practically hugging the tree's bark, wanting to stay up there instead of going back down, but Geoff had already started climbing his way down.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat before letting go of the tree and making his way to the ground as well. Geoff was frantically looking all around them, but there seemed to be none left in sight. Michael licked his lips and tried returning his heart's rate to normal by taking deep breaths without really looking like he was taking deep breaths.

“We need to find a town or a city soon,” Geoff spoke.

Michael was still struggling with wrapping his head around the fact that he had actually been running from, not one, but a _group_ of those _things._ But he nodded and put on a small smile when Geoff looked at him.

“Yeah, I agree,” he answered, “We're running out of every single supply.”

“Especially food.”

“How's your gun doing with ammo?”

“Barely any.”

The small smile instantly faded form Michael's face. He looked down at his knife clutched in his hand and sighed quietly. There's only so much a knife could do. Geoff began to walk and Michael stood behind a moment to regain himself a little more before finally following.

Finding a city or a town wasn't even the difficult part. It was hoping there were enough supplies for them to take from there. Food was always the hardest thing to find; it was either beyond edible or just none left at all.

It was in Mineral Wells where they made their way into a broken down grocery store with broken windows and automatic doors they were forever left open. They were lucky to find shelves still stocked with a few items in there. Michael and Geoff happily helped themselves to whatever they could fit into their backpacks – cookies, bread, canned vegetables, canned beans, any fruit they could stuff in there, water bottles, and even a bag of chips each. They wanted to keep room for anything else they could find, so with that, they headed out of the store. Michael turned around and looked up at the fading sign – Metro Discount Food.

“Hmm, definitely a discount now,” he mumbled to himself and hurried on along next to Geoff as they made their way to any other available stores in the area.

There was something both eerie and comforting about being in a city instead of out hiding in the woods, but the two made sure not to stay long anyway, because cities were where most people died. It's where most of _them_ were, especially in the boarded up buildings and houses, which they definitely stayed away from instead of risking breaking into them. They weren't _that_ desperate for things yet.

It was probably a week (maybe less, or maybe more, but neither of them honestly paid attention) that they were out a lot in search for supplies. There was a lot of ducking behind broken down cars and running into buildings involved, most of which left Michael feeling sick and terrified, but he kept his brave face on despite wanting to curl up and stop the search.

Their search eventually ended, though, once they realized how dangerously close they were to Dallas. Dangerously, because the bigger the city, the more death there was, and they decided it was time to break away from the cities and hide out again.

The two found themselves sitting around together in the woods again, letting nothing but the silence take over for a while until Michael cleared his throat to grab Geoff's attention.

“His name is Gavin,” his voice was so quiet.

Geoff blinked. “Who?”

Michael brought his hand up and grabbed the pendant. “The meaning behind my necklace... his name is Gavin.” But that was end of that. He said nothing more of this Gavin person, and Geoff didn't even mind.

Michael was slowly opening up to him and that's really what mattered most to him. Silence enveloped them for another countless time and Geoff was tempted to strike up a new and different conversation, but then he saw the way Michael yawned and he smiled.

“How about you get some sleep, buddy? We've had a long...” Geoff shrugged, “I don't know how many days, but it's been a long fucking time that we spent mostly on our feet through those streets.”

Michael breathed out a laugh. “Yeah... yeah, fuck. I didn't realize how exhausted I was from doing all of that until now.”

“Then sleep.”

With half hooded eyes, Michael smiled over at Geoff before his eyes fluttered shut and he threw his head back against the tree. And the entire world around him disappeared so fast, but the world he dreamed into was one that just wouldn't.

There he was... Gavin Free. He was standing at the end of the road and Michael had to squint to see him, but he _was_ there.

The corners of Michael's lips rose up slowly, because despite the distance between them and Michael's less than perfect vision, he could clearly see that Gavin was smiling. It wasn't just any smile, either. It was _the_ smile – the one that was a lopsided grin with such playfulness behind it. The one smile that always seemed to make everything look a little brighter. The one Michael had fallen in love with.

Gavin mouthed something, but Michael furrowed his eyebrows, because he couldn't make out the words.

“What?!” He called out and just like that, Gavin's smile was replaced with a look of dread.

“Goodbye,” Gavin whispered and though he was far from Michael, Michael heard that whisper up close in his right ear. It sent chills down his back and caused the goosebumps on his arms to rise and before Michael could ask him why he would say that, he saw the creature creeping up on Gavin.

Michael wanted to scream, but nothing came out. He wanted to run, but it was like he was glued to his spot. All he could do was stand and watch... watch as that _thing_ bit right into Gavin's shoulder, ripping out the flesh with its teeth and munching on... on _Gavin._

Michael listened in horror as Gavin cried out in agony, but he couldn't do a _damn_ thing about it. And when Gavin fell forward, Michael tried screaming again.

“ _Gavin_!” He shouted, shouted to the point where his throat _begged_ him to stop, and he only stopped once his eyes were open and he was gasping out loudly. He looked around him, remembering suddenly that he was still in the woods. He felt the sweat dripping from his forehead and he brought a hand up to wipe, but his hands were shaking terribly that he was almost felt incapable of using them.

And that's when he remembered that he hadn't been alone in these woods...

His eyes widened even more as he looked around again. “Geoff?” He tried, though his throat felt too dry for words. “Geoff,” he managed a little louder, but no one was in sight. He knew what he needed to do was calm himself down, especially since his breathing was rapid along with his heart rate, but he couldn't calm down – not anymore. Not when he was actually _alone._

“ _Geoff_!”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter: "Gone" by Olivia Broadfield.

Geoff finally came to a stop at the sound of running water nearby. He sighed in relief, because he really hadn't walked _too_ far from Michael, but the air felt humid and his forehead was trailing sweat down his face. He just wanted... no, he _needed_ to splash his face with water without having to waste their clean bottled kind.

Reaching the source of the running water, a small lake it seemed, Geoff got down on his knees and scooped up dome of the green-like liquid with his hands. And although it was like throwing more filth onto his face, it was difficult to even try to care, especially when the water was so cool. He splashed his face once more and took a deep breath with the water just making its way down, slowly, tickling the sides of his face a bit.

The sun looked like it was getting ready to start revealing itself, but everything still appeared to be dark, and being out in the open while it was this dark wasn't exactly safe. Geoff figured it was time to head back, especially because he wanted to return to Michael's side before the lad woke up. He shook his head and tried wiping his face dry with his shirt, and then he was up and on his way.

At this point, he wasn't quite sure what he preferred – this dreadful heat or Winter? The only problems with Winter would be not being able to keep warm in case they got somewhere too cold and ended up getting terribly sick and being sick in this world was the last thing anyone needed. It made them even more vulnerable to becoming apart of _them._

Geoff was deep in his thoughts for a while as he walked, but there was something that knocked him right out of thinking. A voice... a familiar one... it sounded frantic... afraid. Geoff stopped walking as he began to listen carefully and his eyes widened when he recognized it instantly. He began quickening his steps until he was full on running.

Michael was up on his feet, scanning every small space between the trees. His eyes were becoming teary and teary made his vision blurry, but he couldn't bring himself to reach into his backpack and pull out his glasses.

“Geoff!” He called again, his voice tired from all the yelling he'd been doing since he woke up.

“What's wrong?” Geoff asked as he came to another abrupt halt.

Michael spun around and held his breath as he locked eyes with him. “Oh, shit, you're here,” he barely whispered, relief covering that tone of his.

Geoff's eyebrows twitched together as he stepped forward and Michael blinked hard, those tears settling down.

“I thought that... well, I thought-” but he trailed off, honestly feeling a little foolish now.

But Geoff already knew what he thought, and he smiled sympathetically, especially when he noticed how drenched Michael's shirt seemed to be in some areas and his hands weren't steady at all. “You thought I just left you here alone.”

Michael swallowed hard and shrugged, averting his eyes. “I wouldn't have... _cared..._ but I just...” _got used to you_ , he finished to himself.

Geoff closed the space between them and gently wrapped an arm around Michael's neck, pullin him closer. “I wouldn't leave a kid out here alone for good,” he said, a bit of a teasing tone there that made Michael scoff and roll his eyes.

“I'm twenty-seven,” he told Geoff.

“Shh, no you're not,” Geoff shook his head.

Michael pulled away from with a small laugh, but it ended as quickly as it appeared. Wow. When had been the last time he actually _laughed_? He could barely recall the times he had smiled, but he knew Kerry had made him smile a few times with the “jokes” he would tell Michael when they had walked around the place together. Other than that, though, he really hadn't found a reason to smile or laugh. There was no longer a reason, and yet, he managed to laugh a little just now.

He cleared his throat and looked up at the sky to find the bits of the morning colors coming through.

“Get some sleep, Geoff. I'll keep a look out.”

Without even hesitating or arguing, Geoff started lying down and getting himself comfortable, because he had barely realized just how heavy his eyelids were. Michael moved out of the way and sat back down in the spot he'd slept on. His backpack was sitting next to him in case he needed to pull out his knife quickly, but he really hoped he wouldn't need to.

“Can I ask you something?” Geoff surprisingly spoke.

Michael raised an eyebrow and looked towards him. “You just did.”

“Oh, ha-ha.”

“Go ahead.”

“Was it a bad dream?”

Michael merely stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out how to even answer that. How could he tell? (Well, besides the fact that Michael was practically _sweating_ and _shaking_ with fear...) He then squinted his eyes and nodded, although Geoff wasn't looking at him.

“I haven't even had many dreams since this is all started and now I finally do dream and it's... bullshit.”

“Gavin?”

Michael closed his eyes, the image of Gavin being bitten by that _thing_ coming clear into his mind again, and he shuddered. “Don't say his name,” he whispered.

Geoff fluttered his own eyes shut and sighed. “Sorry, but just know, the only reason I knew you had a bad dream was because I've had my share of those recently. The way you looked when you turned around and saw me was the exact way I felt after waking up from one of those dreams.”

Michael licked his chapped lips and curled up to himself, but when he remained silent, Geoff went on.

“He's okay, Michael. I know he is-”

“Geoff, _please..._ don't.”

And with that, the silence took over as Geoff finally allowed himself to drift off into sleep. Everything around was so peaceful – shockingly – and Michael found that it was hard to open his eyes again. Maybe it would be okay if he just... fell asleep... for only a little bit. His first sleep had been rudely interrupted by a nightmare; he wanted to make up for it, sort of. So he kept his eyes closed and it was all too easy to pass out.

_Errr-rah. Errr-rah... errr._

It was as though Michael was both awake and asleep, because he could hear those noises so clearly, yet he couldn't, and he wanted to think he was only dreaming again, but then they got louder.

 _ **Errrr-rah!**_ Like the way an empty stomach sounds when it _demands_ to be fed, but worse. Way worse.

Michael forced his eyes open, immediately closing them again from being stunned by the sun's brightness, but that growling had him turning his head to look in its direction when he opened his eyes once more. And then he did, slower this time, but he gasped and jumped up at what he saw.

The creature hadn't seen them yet, apparently, but it was approaching their area. Michael looked down at his backpack and picked it up to look through it for his knife. He checked the front pocket – nothing. The side pockets – nothing again. Then he went for the main opening, but all he found in there was a few food items and water bottles.

“Where the fuck's my knife?” He asked himself in a hushed tone.

 _Rah!_ Michael jumped at the growl and turned back to the creature and felt his blood go completely cold; he had officially been spotted. The creature started running towards him and Michael dropped his backpack. He looked all around him on the ground, patted down his own pockets, but _nothing._ Except for... Geoff's gun... resting right next to the sleeping man. Michael went to grab it when he froze momentarily. The sound of another growl had him sighing and snatching the gun from the dirt.

It felt so odd in his hands, heavy almost, and a certain question kept running through his mind in the little time he had: How the _hell_ do you use this?

But it couldn't be that hard, right?

Michael took a deep breath and steadied himself as he pointed the gun in the creature's direction. He squinted his eyes, feeling confident about his aim, but just as he was about to pull the trigger, another thought came to mind: What if the gunshot brings more of them? It'll alert the others of their whereabouts and the last thing he needed to do was bring more around.

“God damnit,” he said through his clenched teeth as he dropped the gun. He looked around on the ground again and grabbed the biggest rock he could see. He didn't know what he was planning to do, but he had to think fast and just as the thing was near Geoff's feet, Michael tossed the rock right at its head. He watched as the rock was enough of an impact to push it back and a root sticking up from the ground helped cause the creature to stumble even further until it fell backwards. If it really weren't for their fatal bites, they would be such useless and weak creatures.

The rock had landed right next to Geoff's foot and Michael could see Geoff was beginning to stir, slowly waking up. Michael quickly grabbed the rock again and marched forward towards the creature that was still alive, still squirming around. It was trying to stand back up, but Michael bent down in time to smash its forehead in with as much force as he could with that rock. The creature let out a smaller, weaker growl, but Michael picked the rock back up and smashed it in a second time, causing bits of its brains and flesh to jump up at him. Bashing or twisting their brains in seemed to be his technique, and he was liking it.

“Aw, fuck,” he groaned in disgust as he turned his head away. Bashing or twisting their brains in seemed to be his technique, and he was liking it... except getting dirty. That was just annoying.

But now the creature was quiet and when Michael looked back at it, he furrowed his eyebrows. “You piece of shit,” he mouthed before pulling that rock back out and seeing the large dent he had made into its head. He tilted his own head as he examined his work carefully.

“I can't believe you just fucking killed one with a _rock_ ,” he heard Geoff say.

Michael whipped his head to face him. Geoff was grinning, but his grin faltered slightly when he saw how dirty Michael had gotten himself.

“You got a little...” he pointed to random areas on his own face and Michael narrowed his eyes.

Tossing the rock aside, Michael started to take off his shirt, leaving his gray tank top on underneath. It was almost too hot to be wearing anything, but he had to make _some_ exceptions. He got up and walked over to his backpack to stuff his shirt in and pull his beanie out. Geoff grabbed his gun and stood up as Michael cleaned off his face, using his beanie as a wiper.

“I would use some water to get some of that off, just in case,” Geoff told him.

Michael said nothing as he reached back into his backpack and pulled out a water bottle. It was one that barely had any left and reluctantly, he splashed the last two sips onto his face before proceeding to wipe with his beanie.

“Good enough, I guess,” Geoff mumbled, gathering his own stuff. “We should get going now, then we can stop somewhere else for a while to eat.”

Michael nodded and threw his beanie back into his backpack. He looked back at the dead creature with a glare as he put on his backpack and adjusted the straps on his shoulders. Either they all looked the same to him now or that particular creature looked freakishly too much like the one from his dream. He gulped at the thought and turned around as he and Geoff walked off.

“Don't forget this,” Geoff said as he bent down, pulling Michael's knife out of a log.

“I don't even remember putting it there,” Michael told him as he took it.

“It was a long night.”

“It's been a long everything.”

 

* * *

 

Around two days later, after going through quiet hours in the woods and mainly sticking to two spots, the two found that they would be running out of food soon. Not _too_ soon, but it was about time they started thinking about searching through cities or towns again sometime. Though as he ventured on, they came across what appeared to be an abandoned camp, one with a small fire running in the middle and even some tents set up, but the most appealing part – the food.

There was actual good food lying around that fire. Well... there was meat, and meat was something Michael hadn't have since he had left that neighborhood. The mere sight of it had his mouth watering. He didn't even care what _kind_ of meat it was. Geoff seemed to be feeling the same way about it, because the look in his eyes was one of infatuation.

Michael tore his gaze away from the food and searched around the little campground; he couldn't make out any sort of shadows inside the tens, so there was seriously _no one_ there. No one at all.

“Why would they just leave this whole place unattended?” Michael asked Geoff in a hushed tone as they crouched down to not be seen in case someone _did_ pop up out of nowhere.

“They wouldn't, and that's what worries me,” Geoff replied.

“You think they left a trap or are watching _us_ right now?”

“That or something got to them. Hmm, possibly even a some _one_.”

Michael raised his eyebrows as he looked forward again, unable to _not_ stare at that damn meat, although the sight of the fire was only making everything around him feel hotter. He brought his hand up and started fanning himself. His hair was getting long, long enough that his bangs were stuck to his forehead from the sweat. Occasionally, at the lockdown neighborhood, they would actually give haircuts to those who asked, but of course it didn't come free. But they _understood_ that having long hair can get in the way, so anyone that wanted a cut needed to do a certain kind of task to pay it off. They weren't always such difficult tasks, but some were just tedious ones that no one wanted to bother with even though it had to be done. Michael only got one haircut there after having to chop down wood for a few hours and right now he wished he had another, or at least he wished his hair wouldn't grow back so fucking fast.

There were plenty of perks of living in that place rather than out in the open world (haircuts, food – specifically _meat_ ), but all the bad crap they did there was what kept Michael happy that he left. No amount of good they did could make up the honest hell it was most of the time.

Stopping from fanning himself to wipe his bangs out of the way, Michael let out a soft sigh and turned to Geoff. “I'm going in,” he said quietly.

Geoff immediately placed a hand on his chest even though he wasn't moving. “Don't be a fucking idiot,” he sounded threatening in a way that Michael almost obliged.

“Geoff, there's perfectly good food _right_ there and you know how much we eat. We need that and no one is around. It's their fault.”

“No, fuck that food. We'll find our own somewhere else.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Geoff-” but he was shockingly interrupted.

“I'm not risking it,” Geoff's voice rose, along with his eyebrows furrowing, and Michael frowned as he looked away. Geoff sighed and shook his head. “Look,” he spoke once more, “maybe when you were alone, you did shit like this all the time, but with me, no. If something happens to you-”

“Nothing will happen if you've got my back, okay?” The way Michael said that reminded Geoff instantly of their first day together, how stubborn and intimidating Michael tried to make himself out to be. It had its way of working sometimes, but maybe not this time.

“Michael,” Geoff sternly said.

“I can do this,” Michael gritted his teeth as he glared at Geoff. Okay, so it was working.

Geoff gestured towards the camp and nodded. “Just be as careful as you can, and quick.”

Michael didn't even say anything more. He got up slowly and started sneaking his way onto the campground. He could see various weapons lying around – a few different types of guns and... was that a rifle? Michael hardly even knew. They were all just guns to him, just shooting weapons that needed ammo and shells, or whatever (that was why he stayed with knives and rocks). Whoever owned this camp certainly was prepared, because next to those _guns_ lied a hammer, a crowbar, and a baseball bat. A baseball bat? Hmm, well, that could be useful for Michael's type of killing those monsters. He bent down and picked it up, along with that crowbar because there was a possibility it would be needed in the future. 

As he removed his backpack to stuff the items inside, he heard Geoff clap his hands to get his attention.

“Just the food,” Geoff whispered harshly to him, in a scolding kind of tone.

Michael huffed, but he wasn't going to argue. He moved along, holding his backpack with one hand and picking up small food items he found around with the other before turning to face the fire. He took a few steps towards it and licked his lips as he crouched down next to that beautiful roasted meat. A snap of twigs had him jumping back up in fear. Looking around, he didn't see anyone else, but he could _hear_ them... talking.

Geoff cursed under his breath and groaned. He looked at Michael and was ready to shout “Run!” but before he could try, Michael was ducking behind the nearest tent.

“No, Michael...” but Geoff just trailed off and sighed in defeat. He made sure to stay hidden as the owners of those voices finally came into view – a tall, slightly bulky man with light hair stepped onto the campground with a much shorter and younger man with dark hair and glasses.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat as he caught sight of them as well.

“Yeah, man, it should all work out,” the younger one was talking. “As long as we keep doing what we're doing and _not_ screw up again.” He grinned crookedly.

“I believe it. I just think the others forget sometimes, which is _why_ we had that problem a while ago.”

“I honestly can't blame some of them, though, not after what they've been through.”

They sounded so casual, just like Michael and Geoff that Michael began to think that maybe, possibly they wouldn't get mad... “Oh, what the fuck.” Or perhaps they would. “Weren't Miles and Jack supposed to be watching over? _Where_ are they?”

“Jack probably wandered off to look for more supplies and Miles...” the older man chuckled. “I can't speak for that one.”

The younger one sighed as he shook his head. “Well, whatever, I guess. At least you and I are back now.”

Michael looked toward Geoff and locked eyes with him, giving Geoff time to signal him to start crawling towards him. Michael took a deep, quiet breath and nodded. He turned his head and waited until the two men were facing away from him before he started his crawl. Every time one of them spoke, Michael paused in fear, but Geoff eventually mouthed to him that “It's fine, just hurry”. Yet, that wasn't too reassuring.

Michael was about to continue when...

“Guys!” A new voice appeared. Michael wrinkled up his nose and looked towards the men again to find two girls running up.

“Oh, hey, what's up?” The younger man asked them as they approached closer. “I didn't expect you guys back until night fall.”

“Yeah, that was the plan,” the brunette answered, “but we have bad news. Very bad news.”

The blonde nodded frantically. “Looks like we have a storm coming and I'm not talking about actual weather.” Michael's eyes widened.

“Crap,” both men mumbled.

“How close?” The younger then asked.

“We saw them from a fairly good distance, but the longer we stay here, the closer they'll get – eventually,” the brunette told him.

Since the men seemed occupied with speaking to those girls, Michael took the opportunity to continue his crawl, and he tried being quick about it.

“Okay, well, everyone else should be back soon enough. We'll just start packing our shit up and get ready to haul ass once they're back.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Alright, ladies and... _Ray_... let's get started.”

Michael gulped, because Geoff was _so_ close to him now... so damn close.

“What the hell is behind your tent, Ryan?” One of the girls asked. Michael halted and held his breath. The horrified expression on Geoff's face just confirmed it even more – Michael had been caught... sort of.

“What?” The older man – _Ryan_ – asked as he turned around.

“I saw something move behind it.”

“It's probably just a squirrel.”

“Make sure it doesn't get into anyone's stuff, then,” Ray (?) said.

“I'll go check it out,” Ryan sighed.

Michael felt the urge of screaming angrily and attacking the man so he wouldn't be murdered first, but he relaxed when he stared back at Geoff and saw him mouth, “Just get up and run.”

Could he? Michael wasn't quite sure, but he did have to get the hell out of here _now._ With the little strength he felt he had, Michael hurried up on his feet and took off after Geoff as Geoff ran out of his hiding spot as well.

“Hey!” Michael heard them shout from behind, but he didn't look back. He didn't dare to look back. Just as he had ran from the creatures, he kept his eyes fully on Geoff. Nothing but Geoff. He could distantly hear the people shouting other things at him, but the faster he ran, the more muffled their voices became until there was nothing else to be heard.

Until they were far enough to feel safe was when Geoff stopped at tree, practically throwing himself at it to catch is breath and Michael skidded to a standstill next to him. They were breathless with chests feeling heavy and faces feeling like they were burning, but they were okay. They got a few weapons and even some food, but they didn't get the meat. Damnit.

“Okay,” Geoff breathed out, turning away from the tree to look at Michael. “We're _NEVER_ doing that again, okay?”

“Whatever,” Michael responded, seeming indifferent, but just the fact that he was _there_ , that he was okay, made it difficult for Geoff to hold back.

Geoff stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in close; it was the only way he could calm his nerves down after that _very_ close call. Michael tensed, his eyebrows twitching together, and he _didn't_ return the embrace.

“I'm fine, Geoff,” he simply said, beginning to gently push the man away.

Geoff laughed, because he wasn't even surprised by the action. “I was just worried, asshole.”

A hint of a smile twitched at the corners of Michael's lips, but it ended there. “At least I made it out of there with the stuff.”

And Geoff grinned as he nodded towards the backpack. “Let's see what we got.”

Michael lifted it up for Geoff to unzip and Geoff tried not shaking his head at the way the bat was sticking out. After unzipping the rest of the backpack, they both peeked inside an found the rest of the bat, the crowbar (“I don't know why the hell we'll ever need that,” Geoff mumbled), granola bars, energy bars, candy bars, and beef jerky (half eaten bag). Not bad.

Not bad at all.

But damn... the meat.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Michael squinted his eyes as he sat up against a tree and quietly observed Geoff attempt to start a fire. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since Geoff picked up the sticks and started doing this, but probably a long while, because the sky was starting to show its orange and purple evening hues.

But Geoff... he wasn't giving up.

“They're not the only ones who can make a fire,” he mumbled as he rubbed the stick between his hands on top of the rock.

Michael smirked lightly as he watched. “Don't know why we need it. It's fucking hot out here and we don't need to cook anything.”

“I just want to show you that I can do this.”

“Right, but I don't think you're doing it correctly.”

Geoff huffed as he stopped his movement and glared up at Michael. “Hey! _Who's_ the adult here?”

Michael's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Geoff, his eyes still squinted. “ _Both_ of us, dumbass. When are you gonna stop referring to me as a kid?”

Geoff didn't bother to respond to that with words; he simply laughed and set aside the sticks, because starting a fire wasn't exactly working out in his favor. Michael reached into his backpack and pulled out a granola bar, though he saw Geoff staring at him as he began to unwrap it, so without saying anything, he handed that bar to Geoff and grabbed another for himself.

“Thanks,” Geoff smiled before taking bite into the bar.

Michael practically ate the whole thing in one bite, but he chewed slowly. He had forgotten how good these could taste. As he went in for another bite, he heard Geoff speak.

“There was this one time where I had this _fancy_ dinner planned for me and Griffon,” he paused momentarily to grin as he thought back to it, “Okay, I had everything ready for it, too, and it was going to happen on a Friday night, but then I realized I couldn't do Friday night; I had to stay late at work that day, so I told myself 'I'll reschedule the dinner for Saturday night instead.', but of course, in my head, I thought I had told her, but in reality, I forgot to-”

“Oh, no,” Michael interjected, sighing.

“-When I get home later that night and find Griffon waiting for me on the couch. I'm so glad she had a spare key to my place, otherwise, she might have been waiting outside. So, I walk inside and see her, and I immediately ask 'What are you doing here?' and I'll _never_ forget the look on her face. I thought I was dead.” Geoff laughed and Michael even smirked a bit. “Anyway, then she told me, 'Well, I had this impression that we were having some sort of dinner tonight.' and that's when I realized, _motherfuck, I didn't actually tell her about rescheduling_.”

“I had planned to make a chicken roast for our dinner and after explaining the whole situation to her, I told her that the food would take a few hours. She said it was fine, that we could prepare it together, so we did. And as we waited for everything to cook, we munched on a few of these,” he lifted up the granola bar. “We pretty much finished the whole box and we weren't even that hungry by the time the actual food was ready, it was basically a disaster, because nothing had gone as planned in the end, but there's _not a thing_ about night that I would change.”

Michael was looking at Geoff intently, waiting to see if there was anymore of that story to tell, but Geoff remained silent as he pulled down the wrapper on his granola bar before lifting it up to his lips to take another bite. Michael swallowed thickly and plopped the last piece of his bar into his mouth.

“It was amazing. _She_ was... amazing,” Geoff said once more, softly, but he looked out in the distance, a longing expression on his face.

Again, Michael waited in case Geoff needed to say something else, but this time, it seemed he really was done talking. So Michael took a deep breath and began to speak next, “I used to talk about how I _never_ wanted to get married or anything. I just wanted to live my life without anyone by my side. Or, maybe just my friends, but I didn't want to get romantically involved with someone else. I told myself I could be happy without the traditional life and I was happy – I really was. I was in college, I was getting good grades while also finding time to slack off with friends on the weekends, and life was nice. It was easy, much easier than it was when I was still living in New Jersey with my parents.”

“I love my parents, don't get me wrong, but they were just always sticking their noses in my business and I get it, yeah, they deserved to know what I was doing, because they worry and care, yeah, but not _everything._ _I_ deserved some privacy, especially the older I got. So, I applied to universities in Texas and I got into the University of Texas in Austin and after graduation, I didn't look back. I kept in touch with my parents as much as I could, but I think they never forgave me for leaving, but I had never left, I would have _never_ been happy. And like I said, I was happy doing what I was doing, just living life the way _I_ wanted to.”

Michael paused as he licked his dry lips and dropped his focus to the ground. “Gavin... Gavin just... came along. I didn't think it was possible to be happier, but he proved me wrong.”

Geoff couldn't even try to hold back the smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“My parents... they never found out,” Michael continued, “I never told them and I guess... I never will.”

“Well, how long were you and-” but Geoff trailed off, looking away a little bit.

“How long were we together?” Michael asked.

Geoff nodded.

“Three years.”

Geoff raised his eyebrows in response.

“Yeah, I know,” Michael sighed. “I was with Gavin for three years and I never once mentioned it to my parents. I mean, they knew about him, because he and I were pretty good friends before we decided that we wanted to be more than just friends, but they just didn't know anything else. It just didn't seem like the kind of conversation I wanted to have with them over the phone and I also just didn't bother going home for any holidays. Fuck, I sound like a terrible son, but...” he shrugged. “There's nothing I can do about it now.” He stared down at his own hands, messing around with his fingers to give him something to do while Geoff pondered over what to say.

“I'm glad you opened up a little more about him to me,” he finally decided on.

“That doesn't give you an excuse to start asking questions,” Michael reminded him, his voice giving off a threatening tone.

“Well, I got to ask one.”

Michael rolled his eyes and reached his hand up to grab the pendant. “We shouldn't be sitting around. You heard what those girls said.”

Geoff sighed, but nodded. “Yeah, we can try getting somewhere further away for the night.” He pushed himself up until he was standing on his feet and helped Michael gather everything back into their backpacks.

They were both facing the same direction, not saying anything to each other, but they were distracted enough to not hear the footsteps carefully coming up from behind them.

“Hey-”

The two men spun around to find another man, looking about Michael's age, dark hair and scruff on his face. Really, he looked innocent enough, but Geoff didn't hesitant to pull the gun from his backpack and aim right at him and Michael pulled out the crowbar. The man's hands immediately went up, his attention on Geoff until he glanced over at Michael for a second, and then did a double take when he noticed the crowbar.

“Wow, that looks a lot like the one I have back at-

“Who the _fuck_ are you?” Geoff asked sharply, interrupting him.

It was enough to make the man gulp and jump back slightly. “M-my name is, is Miles...”

Geoff and Michael both softened their expressions, the name ringing a bell in their minds, and they looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the same thing.

“Wait... w-w _-why_ did you...” Miles pointed at both of them, “Why did you look at each other like that when I said my name?”

Michael raised an eyebrow while Geoff tilted his head.

“What do you mean?” Michael questioned, his voice low.

Miles gulped again, audibly this time... Actually audibly gulped. “You guys... well, I introduced myself and you guys exchanged looks like you already knew that, or-or _-or..._ like you are up to something and,” he laughed nervously and shook his head, “Look, I promise I'm not here to steal from you guys. I'm just looking for my friend. Uh, we were walking together and I kind of lost him, and now the sun is getting close to setting and I'm scared.”

“Your friend?” Geoff asked, lowering his gun.

Miles visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping. “Yeah. His name is Jack,” he answered. Jeez. Even his tone was more calm now.

Geoff and Michael glanced at each other again.

“Okay. _Why_ do you keep doing that?!” Miles asked, sounding frustrated.

Michael smiled, forcefully, but he smiled, impressed by Miles' sudden burst of courage. “Truth be told, we've been walking for a while and passed by your camp. We heard a few guys talk about how you and Jack were supposed to watching over the camp.”

“Oh, crap...” Miles said under his breath, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I thought I'd be able to find Jack before Ray and Ryan got back.”

“The girls are back too, so yeah, you're screwed,” Geoff added.

Miles put his hand and opened his eyes, letting out a whine. Geoff almost felt bad for him, but as Michael said, they needed to get going before whatever those girls saw appeared. Michael looked to Geoff and the older man nodded at him. Michael stuffed the crowbar back into his backpack before zipping it up as best as he could and putting it on. Geoff kept his gun out as he put on his own backpack, and he also kept his eyes on Miles, but it was evident Miles wasn't going to harm a fly. Did he even have a weapon on him? It didn't appear like he did. How he was even still alive then?

Giving him one last glare, Geoff turned away as he and Michael started to take a few steps forward.

“Wait!” Miles called, that brave front he had just put on slowly dissolving again, and Michael and Geoff halted in their tracks, but they didn't look at him. “You're... you're just going to leave?” Miles asked them, hoping he didn't sound so small, but damn he had never been away from his group this long before.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows, still not looking at him. “Yeah,” with such a bland tone.

“Well, uh... I-I thought that maybe we could do an exchange.”

And because of the way Michael actually seemed to be considering it, Geoff had to turn around and say, “No,” and he shook his head. “We're leaving.”

He patted Michael once on the arm and walked on, assuming the ladder was following, but when he noticed there was no one next to him, he looked back and saw that Michael was simply standing still.

“Michael, _come_ on,” Geoff said sternly.

“What kind of exchange?” Michael questioned, ignoring Geoff as he turned around to face Miles. His question was more of a demand, really, and Miles looked as though he tried not to be fazed by it.

“Michael, no,” Geoff tried interfering, yet both men further ignored him as though he wasn't even there.

“I'll get you some supplies, anything you need, if you help me look for Jack,” Miles told Michael, his eyes gleaming with hope. Now Michael was the one who almost felt bad for him. He didn't act on it, though.

“ _Anything_ we need?” He asked instead.

“Yeah, we have a decent amount of practically anything,” Miles responded with a nod.

“No, Michael, we're not that desperate,” Geoff urged, but for what? Neither guy was going to bother to pay any attention to him.

And for the first time in much too long, Michael grinned, and it was far from friendly that Miles was _seriously_ feeling unnerved by it, but he tried covering it up by standing up straighter. Like that was going to make that pouty expression more intimidating.

“Okay, Miles,” Michael spoke again, taking a step towards him. “Deal.”

If this had been anyone else, Geoff would have punched him right then and there for agreeing, but since it _was_ Michael, he only cursed under his breath.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Walking... walking... walking.

That was essentially the only thing Geoff and Michael were really doing. Miles, on the other hand, was actually looking around in hopes of spotting the sight of his “lost” friend. This small mission seemed worthless. If this Jack guy had honestly lost sight of Miles, then surely he would have the sense to head back to the camp instead of wandering out alone. Which was what Miles should be doing, but no. Instead, he was out here, walking and walking, believing he would eventually end up running into Jack. The chances of that happening were so slim since Jack was either back with the rest of the group or good as gone, but Michael wasn't going to think out loud now.

To resist the urge, he would occasionally glance over at Geoff to see what expression he was wearing, and each time, it was stern. The older man also didn't bother making any eye contact with Michael, or say anything to him, but he didn't talk to Miles either. He was annoyed and that was understandable, but Michael couldn't help but feel a little ticked off about Geoff being ticked off.

Michael was about to ready to say something when Miles suddenly halted in his tracks and turned around to face them. Michael and Geoff also abruptly stopped walking, staring at him curiously.

“I'm sorry... I-I have to pee,” Miles told them, shrugging before heading off towards the right.

Geoff and Michael watched him until he was out of sight, and as soon as he was, Geoff turned to Michael, glaring.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?” He asked the lad.

Michael blinked. “What?”

“We just _stole_ from his group. How do you think they're going to react when they see us walking up to their camp again? Do you think they're just going to _happily_ give us more of their shit after we've taken plenty?”

“We didn't take _that_ much,” Michael mumbled, looking away.

“You're an idiot. They might recognize us, no, they _will_.”

Michael huffed and licked his lips. He looked at Geoff again and threw his hands up, “See, I have this plan where they're not going to even see us,” he paused a second to make sure Miles wasn't coming back yet. He wasn't. “Once we find this guy's friend and take them back, we'll stand aside and just let him bring the stuff back to us.”

Geoff crossed his arms, his eyebrows shooting up. “You really think that's going to work?”

“It should.”

That wasn't anywhere near assuring, but Geoff was ready to drop the conversation there... that is, until something came to mind. He widened his eyes as he asked, “Are you doing this as a second chance at getting that meat? _All_ this for _meat_?”

“Maybe,” Michael nodded, “but I also saw a lot of other useful weapons there that you wouldn't let me take,” and Geoff couldn't quite tell if Michael was legitimately irritated about that or not.

“Michael, listen-” though he was cut off by the sounds of footsteps returning their way.

“Okay, I'm done,” Miles said as he stepped over a fallen log to get back to their sides, smiling softly, but when he noticed the bothersome look on Geoff's face, he frowned.

The three of them moved on, all tension filling the air now completely. Michael looked pleased with himself, though, which only further pushed Geoff into what he said next.

“Listen, kid, you don't have to give us anything after we help you find your friend,” he said to Miles, blatantly ignoring the way Michael whipped his head to face him angrily, so did Miles, except, Miles wasn't angry – he was merely surprised.

“ _What_?” Michael then hissed at Geoff, but Geoff didn't look at him.

“Are you sure?” Miles asked. “I mean, I feel like I owe you for helping me out, a stranger, and for also keeping me company. You could have easily kept walking away from me.”

“No, it's fine,” Geoff assured him, waving him off.

“ _No_ , it's not,” Michael protested through clenched teeth to prevent himself from shouting.“It was part of our deal.”

“ _Your_ deal. I never agreed to it.”

Michael pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at Geoff, and from the way Geoff didn't even flinch, it was evident he was more than serious about this.

“Fine, then,” Michael told him, “you won't get shit, but I will.” He glanced over at Miles to say to him, “And when we do find your friend, we're going back to your camp, and you're gonna get the stuff I want for me. Got it?”

“Yeah!” Miles nodded frantically. “Yeah, of course. I'm sure my group will love to meet you guys, too, and-”

“No,” Michael stopped him there and shook his head. “They're not seeing us; we're going to stand aside and out of the way. You're gonna go in there, get what I need, bring it back to me, and we'll never see each other again.” Geoff had to roll his eyes at that, but poor Miles felt too dumbfounded to say anything.

He gaped at Michael as he thought of what to say. “But... but... I...” he sputtered, squeezing his eyebrows together. “What am I going to say to them? They need to know why I'm taking stuff-” yet he was cut off again.

“You'll figure it out.”

And by this point, Miles figured there was no use in trying to argue with Michael. These were some strange terms, but fine, he would work with them. So, he sighed and nodded, and they all kept on walking as if that conversation didn't just make things even more uncomfortable. Miles wasn't the type to let things between him and others become awkward and quiet, though he waited a few minutes until he came up with something to ask.

“So... where were you guys when this all started?”

“Home,” Michael and Geoff chorused, causing them to glimpse at one another.

Miles paid no attention to that. “Me too,” he said. “I was with my girlfriend and we were hiding, because we heard everything that was going on outside, and I just wanted to keep her safe, but they broke in and they took us. They took us to one of their _protected_ areas, and at first, I thought it was fine. I was pissed that they forced us out of our home, but hey, you know, we were going to be safe, so whatever, I guess. But then when we got there, they told my girlfriend – Arryn – that she couldn't go in, that she didn't look the type to survive.”

Geoff's jaw slowly dropped open and he didn't have to say anything; that look said enough.

“Yeah, I know!” Miles continued, bringing a hand up to run his fingers through his hair. “They pushed her aside and told her _'good luck'_ , and started pushing the others, including me, inside. I mean, she wasn't the _only_ one who had been kicked out, but since she was the only one I cared about, I was just... I was _beyond_ pissed. That was the love of my life they were trying to take away from me and I _wasn't_ going to leave her. I told them they could go to hell and I ran back towards her.”

“These two other guys had seen the whole thing and walked out, saying they wouldn't be in a place that would just throw out innocent people for no good reason. If their whole _system_ was to 'protect' us, then why were they throwing some of us out?” Miles took a deep breath, but he wasn't done.

“So, Arryn, those two guys, and I walked off together, and the guards told us that we should never think about returning, because now we were exposed and they didn't need exposure inside their _safe haven_. Then the gates closed and well, Arryn and I introduced ourselves to those two guys – Jack and Ray, and the four of us have been together since, along with other people we crossed paths with.”

Geoff curled his fingers into tight fists. “Yeah, I heard about those places, and I made sure to stay the _hell_ away, because what kind of a safety area would _force_ kids to work to earn their part?” He asked.

Michael remained quiet, but he knew, all too well, how true that was.

“So you basically got out of the safety protection and went out on your own?” Miles asked Geoff. “Just like us?” Geoff nodded.

“I know this might be a terrible thing to ask, but... you were really alone? Or were you with... Michael already? Since the start?”

“I was alone,” Geoff replied, “I... I had someone, but she was out of town when this happened.”

At that, Miles' expression softened into one of sympathy, but he said nothing.

“I have no idea where she is or if she's okay,” Geoff went on, “I hope she didn't get mixed up with those protection areas, but I doubt it. She would have been disgusted by the system of it, too.” He sighed. “I was with a group for a while, but disagreements happened, and I left. Then I ran into Michael a while ago and we've been with each other since. We're basically in the same situation.”

Miles turned to Michael for clarification and noticed Michael reaching up to clutch his pendant, and for a moment, Miles found himself just _staring_ at it. He couldn't exactly see it anymore that it was hidden inside Michael's fist, but the quick peek he got of it was like the biggest case of déjà vu he had ever experienced. Despite that, he decided against asking Michael anything and simply looked forward before he could trip over something for not paying attention to where he was going.

Michael bit down on his lower lip and slowed his steps down, _just_ enough to where he could linger behind them slightly without them becoming suspicious.

* * *

 

 _Michael's face scrunched up as he read over the same sentence for the tenth time, but no matter how many times he read it, he_ still _didn't understand what it was trying to say. He was ready to toss this textbook aside and give up for the night and not care about failing his exam the next morning, but he needed to keep his grade higher than a C. Failing an exam wouldn't exactly help him there._

“ _Okay, just read it slower,” he whispered to himself, adjusting himself better on his bed, and just as he began that sentence once more, there was a knock at the door._

“ _Are you kidding me?” He asked under his breath, although he did get up and walk over to answer it. “I swear to God, you better give me a fucking_ good _explanation for why you're interrupting-” but he cut himself off when he opened the door fully and saw Gavin standing on the other side._

_Gavin was grinning at him and Michael felt his ability to speak leave him._

“ _Interrupting what?” Gavin then asked, seeing that Michael wasn't going to finish his original sentence._

_Michael closed his mouth and tried swallowing the lump in his throat. “Um, I was... I was studying.”_

“ _That's boring,” Gavin said as he pushed through Michael and wandered into the dorm._

“ _I didn't invite you in,” Michael told him._

_Instead of answering, Gavin made his way over to Michael's bed and sat down on it. “When are you going to move out of here and live somewhere more... fun?”_

“ _Not all of us can afford to live in a really fancy apartment, Gavin.”_

“ _If you think that's fancy, you haven't_ seen _fancy yet.”_

_Michael sighed and closed the door before making his way over and sitting down next to him. “So, did you just come onto my campus and into my dorm to annoy me?”_

“ _No. I came to see you. I haven't heard from you in a while.”_

“ _Some of us have school, Gav, and school's been kicking my ass.”_

_Gavin groaned and let himself fall back. Michael looked at him with a smile._

“ _When will you just be_ done _?” The way Gavin asked that had him sounding like such a whiny child._

“ _Uh, in about a month,” Michael answered._

“ _Okay, but when will you be done_ completely _?”_

“ _I graduate next year.”_

_Gavin groaned again. This time was louder, though._

“ _God damn, Gavin. Relax. After this semester, we're going to have a_ whole _summer together – just you, me, Linds, and Dan,_ if _he comes to visit.”_

“ _He might.”_

“ _Well, then_ see _, cheer up.”_

_Gavin propped himself up on his elbows as he looked at Michael. “What plans do we have for summer, then?”_

_Michael licked his lips and turned his head to find his textbook still resting in the same spot. “Gav, I'd love to talk about summer plans with you, but I kinda have some studying to do.”_

_Gavin gasped. “I walked_ all _the way over here to see you and you're kicking me out already?”_

“ _Nobody told you to walk. You could have gotten into a taxi.”_

“ _I didn't bring money.”_

“ _Is that my fault?”_

“ _No,” Gavin mumbled, averting his eyes._

 _Michael wiped his palms repeatedly on his jeans to give him something to do while he thought about what to say next. Gavin must have become impatient with the silence, because he abruptly got to his feet and threw his arms up and over his head as he stretched. His shirt lifted up a little and Michael turned away, stopping himself from staring, but oh... the_ noises _Gavin was making. Michael could feel his face warming up._

_Gavin let out a loud sigh when he was done, putting his arms down. “I guess I'll call Lindsay. Maybe she won't be too busy to talk to me.” He only managed to take a step away when he felt Michael grab his hand. He glanced down at him over his shoulder, the expression on his face enough of an indication that he wanted clarification._

_Michael merely smiled at him first; it wasn't such a big smile, but it was enough to make that dimple appear. And when that smile was followed by Michael whispering, “Stay.” Gavin found himself grinning._

“ _For you, of course,” Gavin told him, fully turning around and sitting back down next to him. Michael was still holding onto his hand, but neither of them said anything about it – not even when Michael did let go._

_Michael reached behind him until he grabbed his textbook and Gavin jumped in his seat when it was slammed onto his lap._

“ _But since you are staying, I'm gonna need you to help me with this,” Michael said, nodding towards the textbook._

_Gavin opened up the book to the page Michael told him to and cleared his throat before beginning to read off the first line. That gentle smile Michael had been sporting was widening now as he listened to the way Gavin read. It was the way the British lad's enthusiasm grew the further he read on from how interested he was actually becoming._

_Part of Michael was regretting telling Gavin to stay; there was_ no _way he was going to pass that exam – not when he was too distracted with staring at Gavin rather than actually_ listening _to the information._

* * *

 

Michael halted, a blank look on his face, and Miles was the first to notice. The latter turned his head and slowed his steps as he spoke to him.

“Tired? We can take a break.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow curiously and also turned around, but both of his eyebrows rose as he watched Michael walk up to a tree and lean against it. For a moment, Geoff thought Michael felt sick, since the last time he'd seen Michael's face pale and his breathing pick up that way was right before he would bend over and gag. But that wasn't the case this time.

Geoff stared intently and saw how Michael's eyes were slowly watering. Miles looked back and forth between the two, though he wasn't sure what to say, or whether he should say anything at all.

“Michael,” Geoff's voice was soft. Michael let out a small whimper in response. “Michael. Hey, buddy, it's okay...”

But Michael shook his head, a few tears making their way down his cheeks, and the two other men only stood aside as they watched Michael slide down the tree until he was sitting on the ground. By this point, Michael's breathing was coming out in quick and shaky spurts, like he was having trouble breathing at all. The quieter Miles and Geoff were, the better they were able to hear that Michael was also mumbling something to himself, but they were having trouble making out the words.

Geoff took a few steps closer until those words became clearer and he then wished they hadn't, because he didn't know how hurtful hearing some words could really be when they weren't directed towards him.

“Please, please, _please_ be alive,” Michael was mumbling over and over and his constant whimpers were what were making those words completely incoherent from afar. “Please... please...” He paused and gasped for air, but he kept his head low, avoiding their faces, “Please... _please..._ I love you so-” he was unable to finish that sentence as the overwhelming urge to cry out took over.

And that's exactly what he did.

His hands went up to clutch and pull at his own hair, and he threw his head back against the tree. He was attempting to steady his breathing, because his chest felt all too heavy for comfort.

Geoff stepped forward again, but Michael looked away, his face drenched, so Geoff stopped. He glanced at Miles who was staring at Michael with such a defeated and sympathetic look, and they both just felt... helpless.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've said this yet, so... if you have any questions, you can leave them in the comments or send them to me on tumblr (mogarsjones.tumblr.com).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaack!! I'm so sorry about the delay, but writer's block is my worst enemy. I'll try to get back on track again (and update every Wednesday like before).

Neither Geoff or Miles complained or tried getting a move on they patiently waited as they stood aside, not looking at each other, but only glancing at Michael every now and then to make sure he wasn't getting worse. There was a moment where Michael's whimpering became abruptly quiet, enough to get Miles and Geoff to turn their heads and stare at him, but the crying had only subsided due to the fact that Michael was grabbing handfuls of twigs, pebbles, and dried up grass. The way his knuckles were faintly white had Geoff cringing at the thought of some of the junk piercing into the skin of Michael's palms from how tightly he was holding them in his fists.

Miles stepped forward as if to stop Michael when he saw him start to get to his feet, because he was unsure of what to expect next of the man he only just met. Geoff remained still and quiet while Michael threw his right arm back before tossing everything he was holding in that hand forward with all his strength. Miles watched as the mess smacked up against a tree, and then another pile followed as Michael did the same with his other arm. It didn't end there, though.

Michael threw off his backpack, slamming down onto the floor as if it was going to harm him in someway if he didn't get rid of it immediately. He then proceeded to kicking at the ground, at any rocks in his way, at the small piles of bunched up dead grass, and at the dirt that his shoe merely made a skidding sound against since the dirt was too dry to kick up.

Miles took a deep breath as Michael stopped moving around and kept his head down, staring intensely at the ground. The more he observed, the more Miles realized that Michael appeared to be trembling, specifically his hands, but even his knees looked noticeably rocky that Miles almost feared Michael was going to fall over. But then Michael was walking towards him, although his head was still facing downwards. His steps were slightly off-balanced, though he managed, and as he passed by Miles, he finally spoke.

“Let's get going.”

That was it. He didn't wait for a response or stop to see if Miles and Geoff were following. Geoff quickly picked up the backpack that had been abandoned before walking on and Miles didn't hesitant to go after him.

As they walked in such an uncomfortable and thick silence, Geoff kept trying to tell himself that if letting it out by painfully crying and putting his frustration into tossing and kicking things was what Michael needed, then it was okay. But it wasn't.

Nothing was okay anymore. They could only come close to being that, but never actually succeed.

At least... at least not now.

Miles eventually thought of something to say as an attempt to lighten the mood (if that was possible at this point), but he was cut off.

“Miles?!” A voice called, one that sounded much too far, yet close enough.

Miles gasped as he spun around, looking in every direction. Geoff and Michael stopped walking as well when they heard the voice call again. Without a word, Geoff practically tossed the backpack at Michael before reaching at his own for his gun. Michael barely caught his, but he slowly put it on and listened closely to figure out which direction the voice was coming from.

“ _Miles_!” That was a different one, but Michael turned his head to his left, knowing it came from that way.

“Jack?!” Miles called back, cupping his mouth. “Arryn! Ryan- uh Ray! _Everyone_!”

“Careful or you'll attract unwanted attention,” Geoff warned, though Miles blatantly ignored him as he continued to call for his group.

“Miles!” The first voice was shouting again.

“ _Jack_! Over here!” Miles wailed, beginning to wave his arms up in the air as he spotted silhouettes in the distance.

Geoff gently pushed Michael back as they began to become clearer in their view. With Miles' back towards them, Geoff and Michael hurried behind a tree and a few shrubs nearby, although they feared that definitely wasn't going to be enough to shield them. Still, they laid as low as they could, hoping Miles and the others would quickly walk off and head back to their camp.

“Miles, for fuck's sake,” that sounded like the blonde girl from earlier.

Miles sighed. “Barbara, hey, I'm sorry, but I wasn't alone! I was with-” he trailed off as he turned around and saw no one in sight. “Well, I...” he looked back towards his friends and gasped, the wonder of where the hell Michael and Geoff went disappearing when he saw Jack. “I can’t believe you were back the whole time!”

“I just got back,” Jack responded, stepping forward, “I thought you were still at the camp. Why did you even come after me in the first place?”

“Well, I got worried,” Miles said as he started walking up to close the gap between them.

Michael and Geoff could hear them talking to each other about how irresponsible it was of Miles and Jack to leave, a conversation that was seriously annoying to listen to when they just wanted to leave.

“Guess you won't be getting what you want,” Geoff whispered to Michael.

Michael shot him a glare, but instead of responding, he started to lift himself up to peek over at the group. He only meant to glance to see if they were heading off yet, and that was what he was doing, but as he was about to hide again, he momentarily locked eyes with Ryan (of all people). Michael held his breath and fell backwards instantly, almost on top of Geoff.

Geoff jumped a bit, startled. “What happened?”

Michael was going to answer, but his throat suddenly felt dry when he heard Ryan say, “Wait one second.” And Geoff's eyes widened. _Oh no._

Michael reached into his backpack, quickly pulling out his knife as he heard footsteps approaching, because he would be ready for whatever Ryan would try. He clutched the knife in his hand and held his arm up, prepared to strike, so when Ryan started to peek around at them, he swung forward. Ryan must have known Michael would try that since he managed to dodge the stab and grab Michael's wrists. He yanked the lad out of his hiding spot and practically tossed them onto the ground while Geoff jumped out quickly, gun in hand.

“Don't you even _fucking_ dare,” Geoff said through his clenched teeth, aiming his weapon at the other man who was pining down Michael.

Michael wrinkled up his nose as he stared up Ryan and though Ryan's grasp was strong, he still tried seeing if he could somehow stab some part of his arm. Ryan noticed and simply smiled.

“W-what are you doing?” Miles asked. “They're the guys I was just with!”

“No, those are the assholes that stole from us, Miles,” Ray told him.

Miles raised his eyebrows. “Wait, _what_?”

“Yeah, something that wouldn't have happened if _you_ and Jack would have stayed!”

“Oh, come on,” Jack shook his head. “Ryan, let's not waste our time with them. Let them go. We still have plenty of supplies.”

“No!” Ryan shouted, his smile fading as it was replaced with a scowl.

“Get _off_ of me!” Michael spat, beginning to squirm underneath him.

“Get the fuck off him or I'll shoot,” Geoff threatened.

“Return the stuff you stole from us and _maybe_ I will,” Ryan told him, keeping his eyes on Michael.

Michael growled and Geoff got himself close enough to Ryan to be able to aim his gun mere inches from his temple.

“Don't test me,” his voice was low and stern in a way that Michael had never heard before, which actually gave him chills even though it wasn't directed towards him, but it didn't seem to have any affect on Ryan.

“Guys! They're coming – the herd, they're coming! We have to get going _now_!” The other girl, the brunette, shouted as she ran up. Michael's expression softened and he threw his head back to see the others as best as he could. He saw the way she practically fell into Miles' arms when she noticed him and how Miles held her tightly before whispering something to her and pressing kisses on the side of her face. So she was _Arryn._

Ryan let out a loud sigh before releasing Michael's wrists and slowly standing up, because he was aware that Geoff was still aiming that gun at his head.

“Fine,” Ryan spoke, “We found Miles. We're done. You guys will just be left out here to deal with that herd. I'd say that's a better punishment, but hey, you'll get to have _our_ weapons to defend yourselves.”

Geoff started to lower his gun, his eyebrows furrowing and Ryan smiled at him once before stepping over Michael and hurrying to join his group's side. Without another word to Michael or Geoff, the group took off, but Miles did glance back at them, frowning. Michael took a deep breath and quickly got to his feet. Geoff sighed in relief and patted his back.

The sounds of distinct growling caused them to whip their heads in the direction it came from and sure enough, a few of those creatures were coming into sight.

“Guess we have no choice but to go the same way that group is going,” Geoff said. “We'll just keep running until we find somewhere to hide.”

Michael bit down on his lower lip, feeling uneasy about the plan, but did they have any other choice? He nodded and they started to run, not bothering to look back to see how many more of _them_ were getting closer. They were still able to see the group running up ahead of them and they found themselves following.

The group came to a quick halt at their campsite and grabbed their bags of equipment.

“Where did you park the van?” Ray asked Ryan as he snatched up his knife from the ground.

“Just a little further up that way,” Ryan answered as he nodded towards the direction.

“Wait!” Barbara stopped them, getting their attention. “One of us is missing.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? There's you, me, Ray... Miles... Arryn... Jack... oh great. You're right. Where the _hell_ is he?!”

“You're the one who sent us all off on our little missions. You should know where you sent him!”

Michael and Geoff caught up and found all angry eyes on them as they group instantly saw them.

“What are you guys _doing_? Get the hell away from us!” Ray shouted at the two, waving them off.

“Heard you lost _another_ one of your people,” Geoff said, unable to hold back his smug smile, “Maybe you should try keeping your group together.”

“At least we'll be the ones surviving this crap longer!”

“Oh, _really_?”

“ _Hey_!” Barbara screamed angrily, cutting off Ray before he could try speaking again, “We don't have time for this! We have to get out of here!” She then pointed at Geoff and Michael who appeared to be dumbfounded, “You two are going to help us get out of here safely and we'll discuss giving you guys a ride to somewhere quiet.”

“ _What_? No, we're not!” Ray protested. “Who made you the boss?”

“None of us are the boss, so we'll do that and get out of here before we end up being dinner,” Ryan told him. He wasn't going to take another “no” for an answer and Ray understood that, so with a huff, he nodded.

“Should we help?” Michael asked Geoff in a hushed tone.

“It's either that or die,” Geoff responded. Michael couldn't argue there.

With that, all of them ran off towards the direction of their van, and Michael idly wondered how a simple van could fit each of them comfortably. Perhaps comfort was the last thing they were aiming for – just as long as they got to places safely without being bitten, and he figured that was much more important than being comfortable in the backseat.

“We're not leaving him out here, though,” Michael heard Ray mumble as they ran their way through, getting further and further away. The growls were even beginning to sound more distant, thank goodness for that. They were able to slow down a little to mere jogging, to keep their energy, but Michael noticed how they were cautiously looking around – one of them would somewhat stop and squint their eyes while staring into a certain direction, but then they would get going again.

That was enough to spark Michael's curiosity.

“Okay, who are we looking for?”

“One of our people,” Ray answered, not looking at him.

“Yeah, I got that. Who the fuck is he, though?”

Now Ray did look at him, but only to scowl at him before facing forward again and keeping up his pace with Ryan. “We can talk introductions later, but right now we have to find him first.”

Geoff halted in his tracks and turned his head towards the herd of creatures appearing in sight once more. He turned towards the group who were jogging up ahead and said, “I don't think we should be risking and wasting our time looking for your friend. I suggest we just go right to your van and get the hell out of here.”

Everyone stopped completely and turned around to face Geoff, each of them wearing different expressions, but Ray's stood out the most, with how he was narrowing his eyes and frowning deeply. Michael seemed indifferent as he watched the way Ray march up until he was face-to-face with Geoff, although he did take a few steps towards them... just in case.

“We are _not_ leaving him out here,” Ray replied sternly.

“You're really going to risk the lives of eight people for _one_ person?” Geoff asked them, returning the glare.

“He means more to me and my friends than you and this guy over here does,” Ray nodded towards Michael. “So, yeah. And if we stop stopping, we can find him faster, and _then_ we'll get the hell out of here.” He said no more, nor did he wait for Geoff to say anything back, as he turned and began running again.

A bit slowly, but surely, his group followed – one by one after giving Geoff and Michael looks that read “Oh well.”

Michael pursed his lips and shook his head. “We should just go off on our own from here. I think we're dead either way.”

Geoff merely sighed and shrugged, but his decision to stick with this group was apparent as he took off to go after them. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Seriously?” And he only took a step forward when a scream caught him off guard. He jumped at the sound, but they turned in its direction to find a person standing down one of the rows of trees. Their back was towards him, but he could see they needed help since they were slowly getting surrounded.

“Are you fucking kidding me...” Michael breathed out, mentally debating whether to help or just hurry to catch up with the others.

The person was holding a gun in one hand and a slightly larger looking knife than Michael's in the other. They could handle themselves well with both of those weapons, right? Right... ?

Michael cursed to himself before taking off towards the stranger. A part of him knew this was probably the guy the group was looking for, so if he saved him now, they could leave already. The person was wearing a black hooded jacket that actually looked a little too large on them, but Michael shook his head; this wasn't the time to analyze someone's clothing, but the fact that they were wearing that with the hood on in this heat was... weird.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat as he neared the person and he opened his mouth to speak when the gun went off and one of the creatures went immediately down. Michael widened his eyes and took a step back. He barely had anytime to react since another one of those monsters was creeping up behind him. He turned around and grabbed it by the little hair left on top of its head before piercing his knife right into the side of its temple. He pulled his knife out and pushed the now completely dead creature aside only to do the same to another who was coming up beside him.

A second gun shot went off and Michael was tempted to tell the person to stop doing that, because it was why more of these creatures were showing up and surrounding them further. This was not a good situation for only two people, although Michael wondered if he and Geoff would be able to handle it better, considering they knew each other's strategies. Apparently this person's strategy was awful – they made too much noise.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows as more of the monsters made their way towards him, specifically. His palms were getting sweaty and his heart was picking up speed, but he couldn't back down now. So what if three of those things were heading for him... he could handle it... he could... he just needed to not think about it too much.

But that's _exactly_ what he was doing, and it wasn't helping his case at all. He started breathing faster, the fear becoming overwhelming, and without hesitation, he started walking backwards until he bumped right into the stranger.

The stranger stiffened at the contact, but they stayed back-to-back and didn't say a word as they took in their surroundings and counted how many creatures they needed to kill to get away. Michael's head was fuzzy, though, and he mostly just starting seeing blurs of them... so many of them. Everywhere.

Fuck.

He should have just left when he had the chance.

Another gun shot... then another, and another... and at this point, Michael couldn't even be mad about it. Shooting them seemed like the best solution now. He managed to stab another in the head when it got too close and he was ready to do that again, because those creatures were quick, but then he felt one of them grab his right arm.

He shrieked, pulling back as best as he could, but he was just being dragged forward, and it took him a moment of that to realize that it hadn't been a creature that grabbed him.

The stranger had grabbed him and took off running, and knowing this now, Michael picked up his own pace so he would no longer be dragging his feet behind them. He had no idea where they were headed, whether they were getting closer to the group and Geoff or further away, but he couldn't find it within him to really care. What he needed to do right now was live... survive. He would worry about finding Geoff later.

So the two ran, trying not to listen to the growls chasing after them, trying not to think about how heavy their chests felt. Michael also didn't bother to pull his arm free and run on his own, because somehow he felt like he wouldn't be able to without this person's help.

What Michael didn't expect, though, was for the person to trip... _trip_ … and fall. And he found himself falling right over him, but he scrambled with getting back up to his feet as fast as possible. Those monsters weren't slowing down anytime soon, so standing up again, Michael held out his hand for the person, keeping his eyes on the monsters catching up to them.

The person was taking much too long to grab his hand and get the hell up, especially when they had _no_ time to waste. Therefore, Michael groaned and looked down at them to yell at them until they did get up, but something else he didn't expect to happen happened. And he felt himself freeze up as green-blue like eyes he knew so well stared back at him in awe.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter: “If You Want Me” by Glen Hasard and Marketa Irglova.

_Errrr-rah!_

Michael blinked hard, pulling himself quickly out of, what felt to be, some sort of trance and he was brought back to reality. The reality of the fact that he was currently surrounded by... ten... fifteen... of _them._ He frantically looked all around at them, clutching his knife tighter than usual. Why did they move so fast? He glanced back down and opened his mouth, but those green-blue eyes staring at him almost had him at a loss for any words.

“Gav-”

 _Boom_!

Michael immediately got down on his knees and shielded himself.

“ _Gavin_!” Ray called out and Michael could hardly comprehend how relieved he was to hear him – someone he was really disliking beforehand. There were more gunshots, all coming frequently, and Michael only assumed the others had joined Ray. He kept his eyes shut, but he listened as the growls decreased, one-by-one, and he heard the limp bodies hit the ground.

“M... Michael...” the voice he hadn't heard in too long said, the one he was beginning to fear he'd never hear again, the one with the accent he couldn't even pretend he didn't like, and suddenly everything felt okay.

Michael slowly put his arms down and came face-to-face with those eyes once more. “Gavin,” he breathed out, a bit shaky. The corners of Gavin's lips were rising until Ray placed his hand harshly on his shoulder.

“Come on, get up. That wasn't the end of them and I don't wanna wait around here for the others to show up!” Ray hollered. If he had wanted to sound so confident and brave, he was failing, but at least he was trying, though he didn't need to. Everyone was afraid. And why wouldn't they be?

Gavin looked up at him and nodded, and as he started getting to his feet, he grabbed Michael's hand. Chills ran down Michael's back that he practically visibly shivered at the contact, but this wasn't the place or right moment to relish in the fact that he was with Gavin again. And that sucked. He understood, though, that they _needed_ to get a move on. He stood up along with Gavin and they took off, with everyone else running right beside them.

Michael looked over at them and realized Geoff wasn't with them. He skidded to an abrupt, close to causing Gavin to trip again, but Gavin caught himself.

“Where's Geoff?” Michael asked, specifically Ray and Ryan who only slowed down but didn't stop.

“He's with Arryn and Jack; they're waiting by the van, now _let's go_!” Ray answered, speeding up immediately.

Gavin's grip on Michael's hand tightened and Michael let a sigh of relief. From where they were, the van wasn't too far off. Ryan mostly led the way while Ray would shoot at a creature that was approaching them. Barbara and Miles were trailing behind all of them, making sure none of those creatures would sneak up and catch them by surprise.

While Arryn and Jack were standing side by side next to the back doors of the large white van, but Geoff stood aside, keeping his distance from them. He looked back and forth from the two to the direction he knew the others would be coming in. His constant foot tapping had Arryn slightly distracted, but she ignored it as best as she could. Unlike Jack, who was seriously ready to tell Geoff to stop when he heard Ray call out, “Guys!”

Arryn grinned at the sight of Miles running up behind next to Barbara. She also couldn't deny how nice it was to see that they had indeed found their lost friend – Gavin.

“Open the doors and let's hurry the hell out of here,” Ray said.

Jack nodded and turned to do just that while Geoff watched with furrowed eyebrows. Jack then ran over to the driver's seat and hurried inside. Michael halted in his tracks at the sight of the vehicle. That was not the type of van he had in mind, but now he understood a little more how they had all managed to fit in there. Still, it didn't mean they were comfortable, considering there were backseats, just open space, but of course simply sitting on the ground was good enough. Ray was the first to jump inside, followed by Barbara, then Arryn, Miles, and Ryan headed up front to sit in the passenger's seat. Without looking Michael in the eyes, Gavin tugged his hand as he started heading in. Geoff's eyes shifted down to see their fingers intertwined and he raised an eyebrow curiously. Instead of asking, he just jumped into the back with them and Miles quickly closed the doors behind him.

More of those monsters were making their way towards them, but Jack started up the van and drove off at high speed, almost knocking Miles over before he could sit down. Everyone back there were huddled around, catching their breathes or wiping the sweat off their foreheads. Geoff continued to stare at Michael, but the longer he stared, the more he realized who he was holding hands with. And because of that, his eyes slowly widened.

Michael glanced up at him once, but then he turned his attention to Gavin... _Gavin._ Now that they were out of that mess, he could take this moment in.

“I can't believe it's you,” Michael whispered, although not quietly enough. Gavin, along with everyone else, turned to look at him. Each of them, except Gavin and Geoff, appeared baffled – their heads tilted a bit with brows squeezed together until it finally dawned on them like it had with Geoff.

Barbara and Miles gasped, Arryn's jaw merely dropped open, and Ray was the one who actually spoke up.

“Wait... you're... you're _Michael_? _The_ Michael?” He did genuinely seem confused, even though he didn't sound it. Not even in the least.

Gavin grinned at him and nodded frantically. “Yeah, Ray, it's _him_ ,” and then he turned to Michael again, “It's my Michael.”

Michael hadn't even noticed that his eyes began watering, but his vision getting blurrier indicated that enough for him. And he didn't care. A corner of his mouth slowly rose up until he was smiling crookedly. Then he remembered something. He looked down at his neck and with his other hand, he pulled the pendant out of his tank top for Gavin to see. Gavin's eyes brightened at the sight before reaching into his own shirt and pulling out his. Geoff found himself smiling as he watched the two. Everyone else just appeared to be amazed.

Michael licked his lips and took a deep breath. “You still have it,” he said softly.

“Of course I do,” Gavin responded. “I never took it off, even if you think I did... I didn't.”

Ray turned his head away and crossed his arms, something that caught Barbara's attention, but with Miles and Arryn sitting in-between them, she didn't say a thing about it. Geoff was sitting right near the doors, focused on Michael and Gavin, but he would occasionally look away, wondering if he should say anything or not. Although, he pretty much decided not to interrupt their moment, but oh, he really could not wait to pull Michael aside and congratulate him on reuniting with Gavin – something that had been unfortunately beginning to feel impossible.

Geoff was unsure where they would go from here. He knew the original plan was to help this group locate their friend – Gavin – but now that they knew this was _Michael_ , would it change anything? Would Michael want to stay? Well, of course he would, as long as Gavin was there.

But Geoff didn't quite know if he, himself, would want to be apart of another group.

A tear rolled down Michael's cheek and Gavin gently wiped it with his thumb before letting go of his hand so he could wrap both of his arms around him. And Michael tightly held him back, burying his face in the crook of his neck as the overwhelming feeling took over. His heart felt as though it was throbbing and fluttering at once. His messy curls were tickling Gavin's face, but there was just something so comforting about it that Gavin simply closed his eyes and smiled.

“I can't believe I'm here with you,” Michael whispered against Gavin's skin, the feeling of his hot breath followed by the wetness of a few more tears that had escaped.

Gavin squeezed him and placed a small kiss on the top of his head. “Believe it, love, because I'm not going anywhere.” _Love_. How long had it been since Michael last heard that? Hearing it now made the fluttering take over in his heart.

But getting passed that, Michael let out a breathy, shaky laugh when what Gavin actually said completely registered to him. “You haven't fucking changed at all,” he said, lifting his head up to meet Gavin's eyes. His own remained a little watery, but he was able to hold in his tears. At least for now, because the urge was still very much there.

There was hardly any space between their faces, so with a soft smile, Gavin leaned forward until their foreheads were touching.

“You haven't either,” he teased.

Michael figured he should smile back or laugh at that, but he couldn't find it within him to do so. He was continuing to process this whole thing... being back with Gavin... being alive... and feeling okay for the first time in months. It was too much yet not enough. And all he could think of doing was averting his eyes and inhaling sharply.

Miles blinked hard and looked at Arryn. “I knew there was something familiar about that necklace, but I never thought that could actually be him,” he whispered.

Arryn glanced at the couple before whispering in return, “I don't think any of us would have thought.”

Listening in on that made Ray want to look back at the two as well, yet he stayed silent.

Up front, Ryan looked into the rear view mirror and was able to look at everyone in the back through the small window behind his head. He saw the way Gavin was embracing Michael and it had him twitching in his eyebrows in confusion.

“Do you see that?” He asked Jack.

“Hmm?” Jack quickly peeked in the rear view mirror to see what Ryan was talking about, and when he saw, he faced forward again. “Gavin seems to be comfortable.”

“There has to be a reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don't think that's...” Ryan trailed off, but Jack knew what he was asking. The two glanced at each other for only a few seconds.

Ryan then returned to staring into the mirror and back at everyone with a hard expression, that is... until he caught Ray's attention. His expression didn't particularly soften, but it changed slightly as he held Ray's gaze through the mirror. Ray, however, had a very unreadable expression on his face, one that Ryan wasn't surprised by; one he was so used to.

“Looks like there is some hope after all,” he said to Jack, not breaking that eye contact with Ray.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Garland, Texas.

That was when Jack finally came to a stop and turned the van off before looking over at Ryan. Ryan simply stayed seated still, wondering why Jack chose to stop here – in a city, specifically a rather large one. He looked out his window, seeing how they were parked in front of a convenience store, and he sighed at the sight of its emptiness. Nothing but faded signs on the windows, old machines that most likely didn't work anymore, and darkness on in the inside.

“Wanna check it out?” Jack asked, breaking the silence.

Ryan turned his head to face him with a questionable look. “I think we have plenty of supplies.”

“Better safe than sorry.”

Okay, he couldn't argue with that. With a nod, he undid his seat belt and opened the car door before stepping out. In the back, Miles and Arryn had drifted off – his head back against the wall while Arryn's rested on his shoulder. Barbara had been falling asleep as well, but the sudden stop had her blinking rapidly to wake up and figure out what was going on. Ray had watched Ryan get out of the passenger's seat, so he was staring at the back doors, waiting for him to open them. And as soon as they did and Ryan came into view, Ray's lips curled up slightly.

Michael, Gavin, Barbara, and especially Geoff, turned to him, startled.

“Jack suggested we split up and search through this city; he and I will start with this place,” Ryan nodded towards the store, “And we can pick out our groups, deciding which direction each one can go in.”

Barbara's eyes widened. “Are you serious? The sun isn't even out anymore and I think we're all exhausted.”

“Oh, come on. It's better at night. No one else will be around, so we won't have to worry about running into strangers, because who goes on a supply hunt at night?”

“No one in their right mind,” Gavin mumbled.

Ryan crossed his arms. “You can all stay here and sleep if you want, but Jack wants to be out of here right when the sun comes back up. So, we go searching now, bring back the stuff, and sleep until morning.”

“Hmm, it's just so easy when you put it that way, isn't it?” Barbara asked, though it was more of a sarcastic statement, and Ryan knew that, therefore he didn't bother to answer.

“I think it's a good idea,” Ray spoke up. “We'll just get it over with now. No big deal.” And with that, he leaned over Arryn slightly to shake Miles.

Miles woke with a jump, causing Arryn to wake as well.

“What happened?” Miles asked, his eyelids still heavy.

“We're going on a supply hunt, Miles,” Ray said, forced cheerfulness in his tone.

“Why?” questioned Arryn, rubbing her eyes. “It's night out and I'm tired.”

“We get the supplies now so we can sleep and leave right in the morning.”

Michael sighed quietly and Gavin looked at him with a small smile before grabbing his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Although they were both greatly against having to go out in the darkness of this city to get supplies they were not in need of (at least not desperately), Gavin was going to make the best of it, and Michael figured he would too. The quicker they agreed to this, the quicker they would be done. Michael gave Gavin a nod and Gavin turned to Ryan.

“Okay, let's go.”

Miles groaned obnoxiously loud, but Arryn nudged him until he gave in and started to get up. She followed suit, as did Barbara and Ray. Michael then stood up and jumped off the van while Gavin made sure he had his gun and knife on him by patting himself down before stepping out. Geoff was the last inside and Ryan stared at him, a sort of blank expression that had Geoff scoffing and shaking his head, but he did eventually get out of the van as well.

“Okay, so I'm thinking we split up into groups of three?” Jack suggested as he walked over to the back to meet up with them. “There's nine of us, so that works.”

“I'm going with Arryn and Miles,” Barbara announced.

“I'm with Michael,” Gavin said, crossing his arms.

Michael turned towards Geoff. “Geoff can be our third person.” Geoff smiled lightly.

“And I'll go with you guys,” Ray told Jack and Ryan.

Geoff was beginning to walk over to Michael's side, bringing his hand up to rest on the lad's shoulder when he was stopped by Ryan saying, “Actually, I think _Geoff_ should join us.” The tone in his voice was so smug and the hint of smile ghosting on his lips only further proved that he was.

Geoff looked over at him, an eyebrow raising. “Are you kidding me?”

“Yeah, _are_ you?” Ray asked, gazing back and forth between Geoff and Ryan.

“He _better_ be,” Michael stared as he narrowed his eyes.

Ryan shrugged. “I'm not. So, come on, Geoff. Let's clean this store out together.” He then turned his attention towards Ray, “You can go with Michael and Gavin.” Ray's face genuinely fell at that – the corners of his lips curling downwards as far as they could, but the disappointment didn't seem to last long, like he wasn't keen on the idea of anyone noticing. Michael noticed it, though. Gavin, however, did not.

Geoff had his mouth open, as if to protest, yet he was simply speechless. Ryan didn't appear to be the type to lose at an argument if he was determined to win at it. What he said went, apparently.

“Arryn, Miles, and Barbara,” the man spoke, pointing forwards down a street, “You three can search around down there.”

“Sounds good,” Barbara said with a nod.

“Michael, Gavin, and Ray,” Ryan moved on, stepping towards the three, “You guys head down this way,” he nodded to his right down another street. “And Jack, Geoff, and I will go through this store for a while before going down the road behind it. Everyone got it?”

Mostly everyone nodded, some less enthusiastic than the others.

“And everybody does a weapon on some sort on them, right?” Jack asked, looking around at each of them until they all held up said weapon, or _weapons._

“Alright, then just come back here whenever you're done,” Ryan added.

So, with that, the groups slowly went on their ways, not turning back to glance at anyone else. Geoff was walking behind Jack and Ryan, unable to hold back his glare. He mainly kept his eyes on the back of Ryan's head, wondering how the hell he managed to get into this situation. He and Michael were doing fine on their own, and yes, he was happy that this situation helped Michael find Gavin, but this could have played out much differently. It could have played out to where Geoff wasn't the center of their hatred. He knew Michael would be getting this exact treatment if it weren't for knowing Gavin, and really, Geoff was relieved that Michael didn't have to endure this, otherwise he would not be able to even stand being in this group's presence.

Ryan halted in his tracks as he and Jack made it to the doors of the convenience store. He turned around to face Geoff as he reached his hand back to place on one of the doors. Jack did the same.

“Whatever's in there, if anything, be ready for it,” Ryan told Geoff, sternly.

Geoff sighed. “Yeah, I got it. I've been doing this for as long as you have.”

Ryan smirked at him before nodding and slowly pushing open the door, followed by Jack doing the exact same.

* * *

 

Michael and Gavin were walking closely next to each other, to where their hands were brushing against each other, along with their shoulders. Ray chose to walk slightly behind them, which, in truth, made him feel more like a third wheel, but he shrugged the feeling off. He wasn't hanging out with them; he was on a supply run with them and caring about whether or not he looked or felt like a third wheel was not an option or something to even think about for a second.

The streets were seemingly quiet and... empty. It was why Gavin had his guard down, as did Michael (although he kept his knife in his hand and was holding onto it like his life depended on it, which it kind of did), but Ray wasn't going to be a fool. Not in the slightest. He couldn't believe that all was well and they were going to get through this supply run without a scratch. Or perhaps there really was nothing to worry about...

Either way, Ray kept looking around, his colt held in two hands, ready to aim at any threat. He heard a snicker and faced forward to see Michael purposely bumping shoulders with Gavin.

“Can you two assholes stop flirting for _one_ second?” He couldn't help but question.

Michael immediately quit his laughter and looked back at him with a baffled expression.

“ _Ray_ ,” Gavin whined, only glancing at him.

“I'm serious. You guys have been at it since we left. If I would have known, I would have just went off on my own.”

“You still can,” Michael commented, shrugging a shoulder, although that earned him a glare from Gavin.

“No, he's not separating from us, Michael.”

“I will if you two don't stop acting like teenagers,” Ray told them.

Michael wrinkled up his nose and turned around at that, giving the younger guy no choice but to halt in his tracks and look him dead in the eye. His reaction to being caught off guard in such a way was a little amusing to Michael, though he didn't show that amusement. Gavin also stopped walking at this point and watched the two carefully, ready to jump in if anything transpired.

“Well shit, I'm sorry for being so happy about reuniting with my boyfriend,” Michael remarked, his voice low.

“Boyfriend?” Ray scoffed, then smiled crookedly. “Last I heard, he walked out on your ass.”

Gavin's eyes widened and even though Michael's back was to him, he could already imagine the look on his face. And it wasn't pretty. Worried for Ray, he quickly grabbed hold of Michael's arm just as Michael attempted to launch forward.

“Michael, no,” Gavin begged, holding him back by his arm as best as he could with one hand.

Michael snarled at Ray, growling quietly. If Ray was worried of what Michael wanted to do to him, he wasn't showing it. There was only a mere blank expression on his face, the usual look, Gavin had learned in his time with the group. Ray wasn't their _best_ fighter, but if he needed to disguise what he was thinking or feeling, well, he was an expert at that most times. One would often wonder if he'd always been that way. Or perhaps it was something he adapted to doing when this all started.

Either way, his lack of showing emotion, in this case – _fear_ – seemed to further anger Michael. Gavin still couldn't see his face, but he knew he was seething.

“Michael, stop,” he tugged on his arm, yet Michael didn't budge.

Ray continued to stare at him, blandly, their faces barely inches apart. He was just _waiting_ for Michael to say something.

“ _Michael_ ,” Gavin tried again, giving his arm another tug, a stronger one this time.

Michael looked over Ray's face, examining every small detail about it, before narrowing his eyes and finally taking a few steps back. Gavin sighed in relief and slowly let go of his arm.

“Back to business lads,” he spoke, in a rather cheery tone, his little way of lightning up the mood. “We shouldn't stay out here too long...” he trailed off when he noticed Michael turn around and keep on walking down the sidewalk.

Ray was watching him intently, an unreadable expression still on his face. Damn.

“Michael!” Gavin called out. He received no response.

“Hmm, he seems like a fun guy, Gav,” said Ray and Gavin looked at him. “Yeah, definitely the kind of guy I would have fallen in love with.”

“Are you being sarcastic?” Gavin asked, because, for the life of him, he honestly couldn't tell.

Ray blinked and shifted his eyes to him. “Let's get going before he gets too far by himself.” He started walking off after Michael, and Gavin was left standing there a moment – dumbfounded.

What the hell just happened?

Gavin didn't have time think it over. He shook his head and hurried after the two of them.

* * *

 

There were there to look for useful supplies, although Barbara couldn't resist looking through a particular pile of folders that were scattered around the counter next to the cash register. Miles and Arryn were rummaging around in the next room of what used to be a bakery. What could they even find in a bakery? They weren't sure, but it didn't hurt to look anyway. It also just happened to be the easiest building to break into.

Barbara carefully opened up one of the manila folders to find various photos of three children looking about the ages of four through ten. She moved the photos aside after getting a good enough look of each one, and then she came across one of the children with who she assumed were their parents, and she picked it up to examine it closer – the moonlight coming in through the front glass doors being her only light.

The family photo was quite simple, but it told enough of a story. The parents were standing in front of the bakery with their three kids standing around them, and they all wore small smiles.

This was their bakery, their family owned place. That was further confirmed as Barbara set the picture aside and found all sorts of business papers, and even a scratch paper filled with numbers as if someone had calculated how much they were going to need or how much they were going to earn. Barbara moved that folder aside and went on to the next and she could have sworn her heart actually _broke_ a bit when she saw that this folder contained drawings, mostly done by the children. Some were doodles that reminded her of the ones she would do in her kid days, but others were amazingly good that she found herself admiring them for longer than needed to. And knowing that, she forced herself to put that folder down and going onto the next one. The others didn't contain as much as the previous two, mainly more business papers that didn't interest her, and as she decided she was done invading their privacy, she caught herself eying the family photo again.

Temptation won her over quickly and she was holding it up again. They looked like a nice, cozy family, one that would have probably had her coming back to this bakery as often as she could. That thought alone was enough to make the throb in her chest ache and she frowned.

“I wonder if this bread is still edible,” Arryn said as she grabbed a piece off one of the trays. Miles stopped looking through a drawer momentarily to glance over at her.

Arryn lifted the piece up closer to her face and pursed her lips. “It's got mold on it.”

“Oh god, please don't eat it,” Miles told her, sounding fearful that she would try. It wouldn't be the first time she tried something she shouldn't have.

“Don't worry; I won't,” she assured him, setting it back down on the tray. Miles visibly relaxed and went back to what he was doing. Arryn was going to do the same when something crossed her mind. “Do you ever... do you ever think we're going to get desperate enough, though?”

Miles stopped for a second time and fully turned to face her. The way she had asked the question didn't give away much, but looking at her features told him that she was indeed worried that the answer would one day be... yes.

“No,” Miles answered, shaking his head. “No, we'll be okay. I promise.”

“You don't have to promise me that, Miles. You... you kind of can't. We don't know what'll happen. I mean, tomorrow, this could all be over. Or maybe next month, maybe next year... or maybe never.”

“Arryn, don't think that way-”

“What? Don't think real?”

Miles didn't answer; he just averted his eyes to the floor. Arryn sighed and walked over to him.

“I love that you have this _hope_ that nothing bad will happen to us. I really do,” she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. “It helps.”

Miles placed a quick kiss to her forehead and smiled, though before he said anything, he spotted Barbara in his peripheral vision and turned his head to look at her. Arryn followed suit.

“Find anything?” Barbara asked, feeling a little guilty for walking in on their moment.

Arryn stepped back from Miles as she replied, “Nope. I think we should just get going soon. We just have one more room to look through.”

“I don't wanna return empty handed.”

“We won't,” Miles assured her as he opened up another drawer.

Barbara opened her mouth to respond when a loud thud came from behind a door in the far left side of the room. The three of them jumped at the sound and stared, wide eyed, in the direction. They listened carefully, practically holding their own breaths from not wanting to make a sound, and then they heard it – a growl. Quickly, Barbara reached down and pulled her bowie knife from inside of her right boot. She threw off its plastic cover and glanced at her two friends.

“I'll take care of it.”

“No, let's just leave,” Miles urged.

“And miss taking some important thing that might be in that room? Not a chance.”

Miles couldn't argue with that. Barbara took a deep breath and started walking towards the door. The growling was more prominent now and it was even beginning to be followed by small pounding on the door. Aw, the little sucker was trying to get through. What a worthless attempt.

Barbara smiled as she grabbed the doorknob. If it was just that one, this was going to be such a fast and easy kill.

“Here we go,” she said as she turned the knob and jumped back, because just as she thought, the creature fell forward. It crawled towards her and she was going to laugh... until it looked up and Barbara recognized its face perfectly, the hair also helped.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out, stumbling backwards and almost dropping her knife.

“What? What is it?” Arryn asked.

“Barbara, kill it,” Miles begged. He reached into his backpack where his revolver was sticking out from and he pulled it out. “Or I can do it. You want me to do it?”

Barbara continued to stare at the creature in horror, her eyes wider than ever and her mouth dropped open. Miles was getting ready to aim when Arryn stopped him and held up her own pocketknife.

“No noise,” she reminded her boyfriend before hurrying over and leaning down slightly and then she stabbed the knife into the top of the monster's head. She pulled it a little before pushing it back in with more force, and that shut it up completely.

By the time she looked back at Barbara, she found her friend sitting on the floor, legs curled up to her chest and eyes watery.

“I found these pictures up front of a family,” Barbara said softly. “That... that was the dad. He owned this place with his wife. And he's dead.” She shook her head. “All I can think about is... whether or not the kids are alive and if they're with their mom.”

* * *

 

Geoff stood back and squinted his eyes as he watched the way Ryan knocked the last creature down by kicking it on its stomach. Jack was already occupied with packing a few plastic bags with the little snacks left around the store. Geoff supposed he could be doing the same, but watching the way Ryan killed these monsters was distracting, especially when the pickaxe came into play and pieces of the creature's head would end up smothered everywhere on the floor and shelves.

But now that the last one was out of the way, Ryan was standing back up and noticed the way Geoff was merely standing.

“Are you planning on helping out anytime soon? Or are you just going to let us do all the work?”

Geoff cocked his head to the side a little. He remained quiet as he walked over to the other side of the store and stared picking a few items off the shelves (but seriously, this place was pretty much already cleared out of food).

“Make sure to only take stuff that will really benefit us,” Ryan reminded both him and Jack.

“I think any kind of food will do that,” Jack murmured, continuing on with filling up the bags.

Ryan was going to say something about how they might not be able to carry all the stuff with them, but hey, perhaps they would get lucky and be able to keep their vehicle for a while. Unlike their last... that was a terrible fire...

Geoff shook his head and walked over the refrigerators where drinks once were, all fresh and ready to gulp down. He right away noticed that all the water was gone – of course. What was really left were just a few different kinds of soda, juices, and... the corners of Geoff's lips rose as he spotted a section of Red Bull. He tried resisting, though he couldn't, and he hurried over to the open the door. Ryan immediately turned around to see what he was grabbing.

“Energy drinks? I think we're better off, Geoff.”

Geoff sighed but grabbed a few anyway and started shuffling them into his backpack. “Michael mentioned to me once while we were running how he could really go for a Red Bull. Even though it was about a week ago that he said that, I'm sure better late than never. Kid deserves some sort of treat.”

Jack smiled at that, and even Ryan managed to do so as well. Neither of them spoke another word to each other as they finished off searching around for anything else they might need... or want.

Ryan would occasionally glance over at Geoff, curiosity filling his mind. So, was it official? He and Michael were sticking around? A part of Ryan wasn't bothered by the idea, because the more the merrier? Well, in this situation, more meant more to feed, to protect, and he wasn't too keen on that idea. It had already been hard enough with just seven of them.

When Gavin had come along, it honestly wasn't too difficult getting used to him. He just kind of made himself fit right in with them. And the way he would talk about Michael, all of the stories he told, made Ryan have little doubt that it would be hard for Michael to get comfortable and be apart of them within a week, but Geoff... Ryan knew absolutely _nothing_ about him.

When Geoff finally looked over and caught him staring, he turned away.

“Are we done here?” Jack asked, breaking the dreadful silence between them.

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, let's get this stuff in the van and head down the street before everyone else returns.”

“Fine by me,” Geoff said as he took the lead, heading straight out of the store without bothering to see if the others were following. They weren't.

Ryan and Jack took the opportunity to exchange looks.

“What do you think of him?” Ryan then asked, unable to help himself.

Jack blinked and turned his head in the door's direction where Geoff just walked out of. “Seems alright to me. I mean, if you forget about what they did to us earlier.”

“That was more of Michael's doing, actually.”

“And how do you feel about Michael?”

Ryan raised his eyebrows. Well, he didn't expect the questions to be turned on him so quickly. “Gavin's told us a lot about Michael, so I feel like I know him. And I guess what he did earlier was only part of survival. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't feel like he needed to.”

“So you forgive him and Geoff?”

“They're still with us, aren't they?”

“I figured that was only because of Gavin.”

“Hmm, in all honesty, Michael is staying here because of Gavin, so it doesn't matter if we forgive him or not, but _I_ do. However, does Geoff really have a reason to stay... even if we forgive him?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded, a look on his face that read 'isn't it obvious?' but when Ryan merely squeezed his eyebrows together in confusion, he elaborated. “Michael's the reason. Those two obviously have been together for a while now and I don't think he would like if we kicked his companion out.”

“And yet he would still stay, because of Gavin,” Ryan told him, adjusting his grip on his pickaxe's handle. “He might get mad, but that's about it.”

Jack's expression softened as he stared at Ryan. “Are you _really_ thinking about kicking Geoff out?”

“We can give him time, but I just wanted your opinion.”

“Come on, Ryan. You know us. We're always happy to help people. Why do you think we took in Gavin the second we met him?”

“Well, he was alone with only a rock as a weapon and I wasn't going to let something bad happen to him when it was obvious he wasn't prepared.”

Jack shook his head, dropping his gaze to the floor. He honestly didn't have a problem letting more people into their group. More people made it feel more... real. Like things were normal, even when they weren't. He thought Ryan felt the same way.

“Geoff's waiting for us,” he spoke, wanting nothing more but to forget that conversation, “he's going to start wondering why we're still in here.”

Sensing Jack's uncomfortableness, Ryan agreed and they both quickly walked out of there together as if nothing happened. Geoff was leaning against the wall near the doors outside, rummaging through his backpack to see everything he stuffed in there. He heard the other two men walk out and looked over at them, curiously, yet, despite how much he wanted to, he didn't ask a thing.

 

* * *

 

_Errrrrrrr....._

Michael slowed his steps as he kept his eyes on the creature, wandering aimlessly about in an empty parking lot. Ray took notice of it as well and also at the way Michael started lifting his knife up. Rolling his eyes, Ray grabbed Michael by the shoulder and didn't even flinch when Michael pulled away roughly and glared at him.

“Don't fucking touch me,” Michael hissed.

“Look, Michael,” Ray whispered, “that thing is not even paying attention to us, so we can keep walking by without having to kill it. Let's not waste our time; we've been out here long enough and I bet everyone else is already back.”

“I wanna get rid of as much of these as I can,” Michael was speaking as he slowly made his way towards the monster.

“I get it, alright? You're trying to prove that you're brave and shit, but this is stupid!” There was no longer a point in trying to remain undetected, so Ray was yelling. “Let's just go already! You've literally made us take longer than we should have, because of your fucking _need_ to kill the ones that weren't even bothering us!”

Gavin, who had been trailing way behind the two, halted in his tracks and frowned as he watched Michael run behind up the creature and longed his knife into its head... again. He heard Ray curse under his breath and turned to look at him.

“You see that, Gavin?” Ray asked him, pointing at Michael. “What did we gain from this?!”

“Aw, look who's angry,” Michael teased as he started making his way back to them.

It felt like the most simplest thing to want to punch Michael in the face, but Ray resisted, for Gavin's sake, and he merely huffed instead. Although, when Michael smiled deviously at him, he stormed off. Even if Ray could disguise his feelings well, there were times where he just couldn't. And Michael was seriously doing a good job with pushing his buttons right now.

Gavin threw his hands up, exasperated beyond belief with the both of them. “Michael,” he sternly said.

Michael's smile fell and was replaced with a dull look before he followed in Ray's footsteps by rushing in the direction of the van. Gavin groaned and practically stomped after him.

“If you could stop being angry with me, that would be top.”

Michael didn't respond, only adding to Gavin's frustration.

“ _Michael_ ,” he whined, and nothing, so he was left with no choice but to quicken his steps to catch up with him. “I'm sorry. I don't know why you're mad that I told them all about us. I didn't think I would stay with them, but I did, and they were the only people I could talk to, the only ones I trusted. What was I supposed to do? You can't tell me you didn't let Geoff know anything.”

“I didn't,” Michael said bitterly.

“That's a lie.”

Michael spun around and Gavin only stopped walking once they were face to face.

“He knew _some_ things, but not everything,” Michael told him. “And okay, I get it. I guess I should be glad you at least told the truth and didn't say _I_ was the one who walked out and left you all alone, wondering what the fuck you did wrong.”

Gavin parted his lips. There was a bit of a funny feeling building up in his stomach, the kind that made him sick, and he swallowed hard, hoping that would help subside it.

“I wouldn't lie to make myself look good. I-I know what I did.”

Michael blinked. “Do you?”

Apparently Gavin needed to do more than just swallowing hard, because that feeling in his stomach wasn't going away, especially with the way Michael was staring at him.

“Gavin! Michael!” They heard Ray call. Michael slowly looked over his shoulder. “Any day now!”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows at him and then faced Gavin again.

Gavin took a deep breath and nodded, “Yes. I do. I do... and I'm sorry.”

There was silence, and that silence was making Gavin's stomach feel worse. He was going to say more, just anything that would get Michael to speak, but he was taken aback by how suddenly Michael's lips were pressed against his. Gavin was quick to respond, his hand going to rest on the back of Michael's head as he deepened the kiss. Something about it was different than any other kiss they've had before. It wasn't filled with same tenderness or warmth that he loved so dearly.

There seemed to be eagerness and determination to it, although he decided against dwelling on it and instead, with his free hand, he grabbed a fistful of the front of Michael's tank top, as if to pull him closer.

Ray sighed and crossed his arms as he tried to patiently wait for them. Why did he have to be the one to get stuck with them? After a moment, though, they pulled apart and stared at each other, breathlessly. Gavin offered Michael a smile, but Michael merely turned away and hurried to join Ray at his side. That was something else Gavin didn't want to dwell on, so he just quickly followed.

As Ray had figured, everyone was already back at the van by the time they got there, but surprisingly, he wasn't annoyed about it. In fact, he actually sighed in relief when he saw Ryan walk out from behind the vehicle.

“We were about to go looking for you guys,” Ryan told him.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Ray answered as he walked towards the back. “We got kind of held up,” and he made a note of nodding a little towards Michael and Gavin.

Barbara raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between the couple and Ray. “What do you mean?” She asked.

“Trouble in paradise,” Ray murmured to her before opening the back doors and hoping inside.

“Well, as long as you guys are back, we can get some rest,” Ryan said. “But one of us will have to stay awake, just in case someone tries sneaking up on us. I'll do it.”

“We'll take turns,” Jack assured him.

“No, it's fine. You sleep through the rest of the night and maybe I'll doze off when we're on the road again.”

“Are you sure?”

Ryan just nodded.

With that, everyone started to make their way into the van, but when Michael was about to walk passed Geoff, the older man stopped him.

“Hey, I got something for you, but I think I'll wait until morning to show you.”

The corners of Michael's mouth rose slightly. “What? What is it?”

“Just wait, you baby,” Geoff quipped, shoving him.

Michael grinned at him and watched as he got into the van next. He took a step forward to get in as well, but a hand grabbing his had him stopping again. Turning his head, he saw Gavin standing there, looking at him with the softest gaze.

“I'm sorry,” his voice was hushed.

Michael licked his lips and gave his hand a squeeze instead of an actual answer, but it seemed to be enough for Gavin. He moved aside, letting go of his hand, and motioned for him to get inside first, and Gavin happily obliged. That left Michael the last one outside, well, besides Ryan who was waiting for him to get in so he could close the doors. Michael locked eyes with him, unknowing if he should say something or not. Ryan simply smiled and nodded once at him.

“Uh, goodnight...” Michael mumbled before turning and climbing into the van.

“Goodnight,” Ryan said back as he shut the doors behind him.

 


	10. Chapter 10

_Michael tapped his fingers on the coffee table, trying not to glance at the door again, but when he forgot to catch himself, he would do it and then curse under his breath._

_Two AM._

_It was two AM and Gavin had been gone shortly after they had eaten their dinner in complete silence. This was beginning to be a habit of his, one that Michael was hoping to break as soon as Gavin returned. The first time was... well, it wasn't fine, but Michael had been able to dismiss and not think much of it. The second time it happened, he began to question it to himself. The third time, he grew annoyed. The fourth time caught him by surprise since he fell asleep before Gavin could leave and he was genuinely confused when he woke up alone in the middle of the night. _

_This was the fifth time and that was five times too many. He should have said something the second time, but a part of him kept stopping him, because he knew things were starting to become different between the two of them. Gavin was obviously distant and he couldn't figure out why. Had he done something? He couldn't recall ever offending Gavin, like truly offending him, and even if he had, he was sure Gavin would have said something since the Brit wasn't afraid to speak his mind when he was pushed too far._

_But Michael had to speak up about this now instead of allowing it to continue happening. He needed answers. He needed this weight to be lifted off him so he could finally sleep through the night without worry._

_As soon as the door opened, though, he froze up a little._

“ _What are you doing up?” asked Gavin, so casually like he wasn't walking in at two in the morning._

_Michael took a deep a breath and found it within him to turn his head to face his boyfriend. “What am_ I  _doing up? What are_ you _doing out?”_

_Gavin blinked and tilted his head. “I was just getting some air.”_

“ _For seven hours?”_

“ _I didn't know you were keeping count.”_

“ _Are you fucking serious, Gavin?” It seemed to be the trick to regain all of Michael's courage, because he jumped up from the couch and huffed. “_ Of course _I was keeping count. You've been doing this for almost a_ week _now!”_

“ _I don't see what the big deal is. I'm just going out to have fun.”_

“ _Oh,_ fun? _What kind of_ fun _would that be, then,_ huh _?”_

“ _Michael, don't do this,” Gavin sighed, rolling his eyes._

_Michael gaped at him, his eyebrows raising. He was at a loss for words for a moment, unable to believe what he was hearing, and that attitude that came with it._

“ _How about you stop leaving and_ stay _home for once?”_

“ _Why can't you just let me do what I want to do? You don't own me, Michael.”_

“ _I'm not trying to! I just want to understand why you have to keep leaving me here all night! God_ damnit, _Gavin! Do you even_ know _what it_ **feels** _like?!” Michael gasped for air, for he spoke those words so quickly without skipping a beat, and now that he had it all out, his chest was heavy._

_Gavin's expression softened and he hurried over to Michael. “I'm... I'm so sorry. I...” Seeing the way Michael was breathing in quickly, he frowned and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”_

_Michael squeezed him back, feeling himself instantly relax in his arms. “Just..._ stay _. Please.”_

_Gavin nodded, shifting his gaze to the floor. “Yeah, I'll... I'll stay.”_

* * *

 

When Michael opened his eyes, he was greeted by an empty space; nothing and no one in sight. It was merely him sitting there in the back of the van, slumped up against the wall with his backpack sitting next to him, the way he had fallen asleep. His entire head felt groggy and his limbs were weak, but with any energy within him, he began to lift himself up. The back doors were slightly opened, letting in some sunlight and when he was finally standing up right, he grabbed his backpack and walked to those doors. He pushed them the rest of the way open and was now greeted with the sight of everybody else outside, setting up camp it seemed, minus the tents this time.

Jack was creating the fire while Ryan set out various items from the plastic bags on the ground. Miles was talking to Arryn as they both lied out a few blankets. Barbara was seen in the distance, returning from finding wood for the fire. Ray was sitting a little off to the side, inspecting each weapon and setting one down when he was done with it. Gavin... Gavin was with _Geoff_ , smiling and talking with him about something. Geoff also appeared to be showing Gavin something that really had his attention piqued to its fullest. And Michael smiled at the sight before jumping off the van. He took a few steps toward them, but then he remembered something and looked over at where Miles and Arryn were.

With a sigh, Michael lifted up his backpack and unzipped it halfway to pull out the crowbar. He headed over to the couple, but kept his eyes on Miles.

“-get that, but maybe it isn't the _best_ decision...” Miles trailed off when he noticed Michael walking up to him and Michael almost felt bad for interrupting that conversation.

“Oh hey, Michael,” Arryn greeted sweetly.

Michael offered her a smile and then returned his gaze to her boyfriend. “I think this belongs to you,” he said as he held up the crowbar.

The dull look Miles just had immediately faded as he laughed and took the weapon from him. “Thanks. Uh, I probably would have stolen from us, too.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do to survive out here,” Michael shrugged.

“Yeah, it's not really a life anymore, but you make the best of it anyway.”

Unable to stifle a yarn, Michael brought his hand up to cover his mouth, but he nodded and Arryn looked at him.

“You were asleep for a long time,” she spoke. “We were going to wake you up as soon as we got here, but Geoff begged us to let you keep sleeping. He said you needed some rest.”

Michael looked over at where Geoff and Gavin were and apparently Gavin had said something hilarious, since Geoff was laughing uncontrollably while the Brit smirked, seeming so proud of himself. Typical Gavin.

Michael's lips curled up slightly as he turned back to Miles and Arryn. “Guess I should go thank him, because for the first time in... fucking weeks, I actually feel energized.” The two nodded and with that, Michael walked away.

“Gavin!” Ray called, raising up one of the two handguns Gavin used. Gavin hurried over to him to retrieve it while Michael joined Geoff in the meantime.

“Hey, buddy,” Geoff welcomed the lad, grinning warmly at him.

Michael returned the smile. “Good morning.”

“I told you last night that I got you something.”

“Oh, yeah that's right. What is this _something_? I'm ready to be impressed.” Michael watched while Geoff grabbed his backpack off the ground and unzipped it. The way the older man was smiling really did have Michael's curiosity completely piqued.

“I remembered you mentioning wanting this,” Geoff said as he pulled out a can of Red Bull. Michael tried, really _tried,_ not smiling more than he already was, but it was hard to resist, and in seconds he was grinning broadly with little of his control.

Geoff handed the drink to him and Michael thanked him as he opened it up and brought it up to his lips.

“Hopefully it still tastes half as good as it used to,” Geoff told him.

Michael shrugged and took a sip. Oh, it was just as amazing as he remembered. He took a larger gulp and sighed contently.

“There's just some things you don't realize how much you miss.”

“Yeah, nobody how much we get used to the way things are now, we'll always think back to how it all used to be.”

Michael's smile faltered at that, though he nodded. “Thank you, Geoff. I appreciate it,” he lifted the can up.

“Anytime,” Geoff said as he patted him on the back. At the sound of an excited squeal, they both turned to see Gavin checking over his gun, an awestruck demeanor. Michael's smile returned at just the mere sight of him and Geoff gently nudged him from behind.

“Go spend time with him; I'll be over here.”

Michael glanced back at Geoff before nodding again and heading over to where Gavin was now standing.

“You actually know how to use that?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the weapon.

Gavin quickly turned to him with a grin. “Yeah, Ryan taught me.”

“Ryan... right. The one who tried to kill me. Makes sense.”

“He wouldn't have touched you if he knew who you were.”

Michael raised an eyebrow questioningly at him, smiling softly, and said nothing in response to that.

Gavin licked his lips and looked at his gun before back at him. “You don't know how to shoot?”

“Nah.”

“Geoff never showed you?”

“I'm just more skilled at stabbing and smashing heads in.”

Gavin snickered and shook his head, but much to Michael's surprise, he handed over the colt to him. Michal hesitated at first, looking back and forth between the gun and him. It took him a moment, longer than it probably should have, until he finally, and _carefully,_ took it from Gavin's hand. He stared down at it as though it was the most bizarre thing he'd ever seen (as if he didn't almost try to shoot a zombie down already) and he didn't even notice that Gavin walked behind him. He didn't realize that in the slightest, but then he felt arms wrap around him and he stiffened.

“I'll teach you then,” Gavin whispered into his ear, followed by small kisses being pressed against Michael's neck. Michael breathed out a laugh and leaned his head back, giving the other more room and Gavin happily trailed his kisses lower. He then paused to look at Michael's face and smiled before planting one kiss on his cheek.

Michael scrunched up his nose as he said, “It's too fucking bad you can't shave.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“I _guess_ I'll get used to it,” because of the teasing little tone he used there, Gavin laughed.

“Okay, let's get serious now,” he said as he helped Michael clutch the gun correctly. He held onto Michael's wrists loosely to merely guide him. “You see that tree up ahead?”

“Yeah.”

“Aim for that.”

Despite the slowly increasing fluttering inside his chest, Michael swallowed hard and did his best to concentrate, focusing on a certain spot on the tree bark. Never in his life since he met Gavin did he ever think he would be getting this kind of lesson from him. This wasn't the first thing Gavin had taught him, though, so he wasn't particularly _too_ surprised he ended up in this situation.

Once he seemed steady enough, he felt Gavin's warm breath against his ear again.

“Pull the trigger, love.”

Michael inhaled sharply before doing so and his eyes brightened when he saw that he did shoot _right_ at the spot he'd been going for.

“Ah, there you go!” Gavin praised, grinning at him, although Michael continued to face forward instead at him.

This was nice, just being with Gavin again, feeling safe and a bit braver than he had been, but Ray's words from the night before started making their way back into Michael's head. There was no doubt that Michael and Gavin had some things to discuss, but Michael couldn't decide whether or not he really wanted to bring that subject up at all. Part of him wanted so desperately to forget about the bad things that had happened between them, just for the sole purpose of not having to deal with it, but the other part of him, his curiosity, _begged_ him to find out his answers. After all, he deserved to know, didn't he?

“Try again, but aim for another tree,” Gavin's words brought him back to reality.

Michael glanced at him. Okay, he did want his answers, but not now. Definitely not now.

“Is this necessary?” He asked instead.

“Yes,” Gavin nodded. “Sometimes, a gun is your only option, or well... quickest.” Fair enough. Michael steadied himself once more and smiled when Gavin placed his hands over his, and the _one_ thing he never had to constantly question himself about replaced Ray's words in his mind; he loved this man so much.

 


	11. Chapter 11

After everyone had settled down, finished with setting up everything for the night, Jack and Miles began making a quick lunch – that consisted of peanut butter sandwiches, a side of sliced bruised apples, and a small bag of chips for everyone (which they only had for one meal). Once Jack finished with a sandwich, Miles passed it out to someone until each person had their own, and then they made a sandwich for themselves. The small bags of chips were passed, along with the slices of apples, and happy sighs were heard throughout at the fact that they were back to relaxing and enjoying an actual meal.

Michael and Geoff were notably devouring their food, savoring each taste with their eyes closed like they were afraid they would never taste anything as delicious again. Gavin, who was sat right next to Michael, smiled sadly at him as he chewed slowly on his sandwich. When Michael opened his eyes, he tuned his head and lock eyes with the Brit, and awkwardly wiped his mouth with the back of his free hand.

“Good thing the peanut butter still tastes fresh,” he then said, smiling sheepishly. He only had a small piece of his sandwich left and Gavin quickly cut a piece off his.

“What are you doing?” Michael asked when he was handed the piece.

“Just take it and eat it.”

“But you-”

“I've been eating some pretty nice meals lately and I know you haven't, so here,” Gavin held the piece up closer to Michael's face that Michael couldn't resist taking it. Gavin watched as he stuffed that piece into his mouth without a second thought.

“Thanks,” Michael mumbled as he looked down at his bag of chips.

“You don't have to thank me, love.”

“Alright then. I'm gonna go get some water. You want some?”

Gavin nodded and Michael gave his thigh a single pat before standing up and walking over to where he had put his backpack down earlier. Ryan watched him closely from where he was still sitting next to Jack. He took the last bite of his sandwich before jumping to his feet and heading over to Michael.

“Hey,” he greeted casually. Michael merely smiled up at him in response. Ryan pursed his lips, thinking over exactly what he wanted to say next. He glanced back at everyone else still sitting around and peacefully eating their lunches. “You know Jack over there is really good with stitching up any wounds...”

Michael's eyebrows furrowed slightly, stopping himself from rummaging through his backpack to stare up into Ryan's eyes. “Oh, uh... cool?”

Ryan sighed quietly. “Just thought I'd let you know that, just in case you found yourself in need of a little fixing up,” he said.

“I'll keep that in mind.”

“Oh, and let me tell you about Barbara; if there's anyone you need to go with you somewhere real quick, I'd suggest letting her be the one. She knows how to handle that knife of hers better than any of us can handle our own weapons.”

“Hmm, Barbara. Got it,” Michael was honestly listening, though his attention had went back to pulling out two water bottles for Gavin and himself.

“Arryn is good at making a mess,” Ryan continued, “and by that, I mean she can make a monster look like it never had a head to begin with.”

“She's got that hammer, doesn't she?”

“Ooh yeah, and she uses it to her full advantage. Do you use anything other than that hunting knife?”

Michael reached into another pocket in his backpack where said knife was. “Honestly, no, but Gav's been teaching me how to shoot better, so maybe I'll be adding a second weapon to the list soon.”

“Ah, Gavin,” Ryan smiled, crossing his arms as he turned to look at the Brit. “Yeah, when I first taught him all of that, he was... well, he was-”

“You can just say it – he was complicated,” Michael joked. “Trust me, I know, Ryan.”

“ _Well_ , I wouldn't say _complicated,_ but it took some time.”

“He might not have been great at learning, but he makes up for it by being a good teacher.”

“Really?”

Michael nodded and began zipping up his backpack again. “Yeah, it's weird, you know? Sometimes he says shit that doesn't make any sense, but when you really listen to him, it starts to. _Or_ maybe I've just known him long enough to understand every little thing.”

Ryan moved his attention away from Gavin to Miles, who sat a little off to the side with Arryn and Barbara. “I don't know what I can say about Miles and I don't mean that in a bad way. There's just different good qualities about him that-”

“Okay, wait,” Michael cut him off, holding up his hand. “Why are you even telling me things about any of them?”

“Well, since you're officially one of us, I decided to give you more of an insight on who we are and how things work here.”

“Are you gonna give Geoff the same explanation?” Michael questioned, biting into his last piece of sandwich.

Ryan blinked, gazing down at his own feet as to not have to say anything directly to Michael's face. “Uh, yeah. Of course.” If it weren't for Michael being mildly distracted with getting the second water bottle back to Gavin, he would have noticed how off Ryan had sounded there. But luckily for Ryan, he didn't, and proceeded to flashing him a sided smile before returning to his spot next to Gavin.

The way Gavin turned to face Michael, the sincere endearment sparkling in his eyes, was one of the first things Ryan fully smiled at in months. The day the group had stumbled upon Gavin, they knew he would be sticking around with them. Gavin was silent for a long while as everyone introduced themselves to him. He was so visibly _exhausted_ and worn out, but once introductions were put aside, he started to talk, skipping over the mention of his own name, “I _need_ to find Michael Jones. I'm determined to find him...” there had been a pause, one that left everyone exchanging glances at each other, but then Gavin spoke again.

“It's the only thing keeping me alive.”

“Yeah, man, we'll help you find him,” Ray had told him, something that made Ryan stare at him curiously, but Ray didn't take his eyes off the Brit standing up ahead of them.

“Just come with us; we'll take care of you,” Arryn said.

The others threw in other words of encouragement, saying how this Michael guy was probably somewhere nearby and that they merely needed to look in the right directions. Ryan, however, was now the silent one, because although he wanted to have hope for this young and helpless stranger as well, he had to be honest. In being honest, though, he decided to say nothing at all. He figured it was best that way.

Yet, here was now, witnessing both Gavin and Michael together, and he almost felt a bit of guilt surge through him for ever doubting that reunion.

Michael leaned closer to Gavin and placed a quick kiss on his nose, causing Ryan to smile wider at the sight before someone else caught his attention. Ray was still sitting alone, finishing up his bag of chips and staring down at the ground and Ryan kept his smile on his face as he wandered over to him. At the sight of feet appearing next to him, Ray raised his head up and tensed a little to see that it was Ryan.

Ryan took a seat next to him but faced forward as he asked, “How are you?”

Ray quickly realized that he was blatantly staring at him and blinked hard, forcing himself to stare at something else instead. He chose his hands. “Fine, I guess,” he answered to which Ryan simply nodded and didn't say or ask anymore beyond that.

Ray swallowed the lump in his throat, not wanting the conversation to just end there before it even began. “And... you? How are you?”

“I'm good. Thanks for asking.”

“Yeah, of course.” And Ray was thinking “Good enough”, considering he wasn't sure where to go from there. It wasn't like he and Ryan hadn't had real conversations before, ones where he was able to really get to know the guy, but there also still times, like this one, where it was near impossible. But it happened to be that way with anyone, he supposed. So, he was going to drop the attempts until he noticed how Ryan was starting to shake his leg, as if he was becoming impatient or anxious.

“Are you sure you're good?” He asked quietly.

Ryan immediately stopped his movements and turned his head to face Ray, and Ray looked up to lock eyes with him.

“Don't tell anyone,” Ryan spoke, voice hushed, “but I've been having kind of a... bad feeling.”

“What kind?” Ray really didn't expect an answer such as that one, but now he was focused on a further explanation.

“Yeah,” Ryan nodded. “The kind where I feel the last we're expecting to happen is going to happen.”

The younger lad tilted his head slightly, examining the expression on Ryan's face. “Well, that's a pretty big feeling.”

Ryan sighed as he brushed some hair out of his face. “I just wish it would happen already or that I would stop worrying, because it's probably nothing. I'd kill for it to be nothing.”

“If you kill, then it _will_ turn in something,” there was such a teasing tone in Ray's voice there that Ryan couldn't even hold back a small laugh. And it was these short moments that Ray liked most about talking to Ryan. Therefore, Ray joined in on the laughter, although he was mainly just grinning.

“Thanks,” Ryan then said to him. “I kind of needed that.” He started to look away, to drift off in his own thoughts perhaps.

Ray swallowed hard again before he reached his hand out and placed it over Ryan's that was resting calmly on his lap. Ryan whipped his head down to stare at their hands touching while Ray said, “Whether it's something or not, we'll all look out for each other.”

The corner's of Ryan's mouth quirked upwards, though he did not look up, not even for a second. And that was fine. Ray gave his hand one squeeze and stood up abruptly, leaving Ryan behind to sit there and watch him walk away. Although he thought about calling out for Ray, tell him to stay him a little while longer, Ryan quickly pushed that idea aside and faced forward once more.

* * *

 

Barbara stared up at the sky through, getting glimpses of the sun's light through the trees, she sighed softly. None of them had really gotten anything done that day; they'd all mainly just been relaxing around, which was a good thing, considering they hardly managed to catch themselves a break. But she was feeling antsy.

“I think some of us should go out and explore the area before sun down,” she suggested as she turned to see everyone's expressions.

Most of them seemed to be considering deeply and she almost figured she was going to be going out to explore on her own, but then Ray jumped up to his feet and nodded.

“I'll go with you.”

“Me too,” Arryn said, getting up from where she'd been lying down, picking up her hammer in the process.

Barbara smiled. “Alright then, it's settled. You, Ray, and I will-”

“I'm going too,” Gavin cut her off, hurrying over to her side, colt in hand. Michael's eyes widened, though for a moment, he stood still and kept his arms crossed as he watched the four huddle up together.

“Just try to be back before it gets dark,” Jack told the group.

“We will,” Ray assured him, waving him off and turning away to start following Barbara. And then Arryn turned to walk off after the two of them, but the second Gavin did, Michael called out.

“Wait!” And they did, each halting in their tracks and glancing at him. “I-I'm gonna join you guys, too.”

Gavin couldn't even find a verbal response to that at first, but instead, his eyebrows twitched together, baffled. It appeared he wasn't the only one, either.

“ _Seriously_?” Ray questioned, breaking the silence.

“If he wants to, he can,” Barbara stated, shoving Ray gently and smiling at Michael.

Gavin shook his head, finally finding it within him to speak. “I think you should _stay_ , Michael.”

Michael squinted his eyes at him. “No, Gavin,” and he started walking up to him, “The only time that 'stay' thing works is when we're staying _together_.”

“I have to agree with Gavin,” Geoff spoke up, which caused for both Michael and Gavin to gape at him.

“ _Why_?” Michael asked through clenched teeth.

“I just think it's best if you do.”

“What the-? Have you _forgotten_ that I've been practically living in the woods for _weeks_ now?”

Geoff raised an eyebrow at that. “Weeks? Don't you mean months?”

Michael sputtered, averting his eyes. “Oh shit,” he muttered under his breath, though he then nodded frantically. “Yeah, _months._ But my point is... I can _handle_ this.” Now he turned to Gavin, a bitter and forced smile spreading across his face. “Let's go.” He walked up ahead quickly and Barbara didn't hesitate to continue on with leading the way.

Arryn followed suit while Ray waited behind a moment for Gavin to do so as well. Gavin quickened his steps until he was walking side by side with Michael and Michael side eyed him before saying something.

“If anything happens to me, you can say you told me so.”

“That's not funny.”

“Well, I wasn't laughing.”

Gavin shifted his eyes down to Michael's hand, hanging down by his side, and gently, he interlocked their fingers together. Michael looked at his face but Gavin faced forward again, leaving Michael to smile to himself.

They walked down many paths they found, spotting little to nothing of importance, so there was hardly any stopping from any of them. They made sure to keep close with each other, not to lose sight of anyone and if they did, even for a split second, they would wait and head on their way again, down another trail.

Eventually, they did run into a few creatures, but it was nothing that made them outnumbered – they killed each one without a hint of trouble. All of this was becoming dull, walking through emptiness and run down cabins, some even burnt down. Barbara was getting ready to say they should head back, but she figured they could go just a bit further before calling it quits.

Gavin was starting to fan himself and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, something that easily annoyed Michael after a while.

“Gav, you _knew_ it was hot before we left, so why did you put that damn jacket on?”

Gavin groaned and let go of Michael's hand to roll up his sleeves. “I didn't think you were coming, but I decided to keep it on anyway after you joined.”

“What do I have to do with it?”

The Brit connected their hands again and seemed a little surprised by the question. Michael was going to ask “What?”, but then it was answered.

“It's... it's yours.”

Michael blinked hard, looking over the jacket, and when he did finally recognize it, he laughed softly. “I forgot you pretty much claimed it as yours after I let you _borrow_ it that one night.”

Gavin grinned at him, “Michael, I had a _massive_ crush on you and when your crush that also happens to be your best friend offers you their jacket, you want to keep it. It reminds you of them.”

Yes, of course. Michael couldn't ever truly forget that night and he kind of hated himself for almost forgetting now. A friend of theirs was throwing a party at their new house. Michael hadn't planned to go, but he had some pretty _persistent_ friends.

“Come on, Michael, it'll be fun,” Lindsay said to him, tugging on his wrist.

“You know, I'm happy for the guy, but I don't really give a shit about seeing his new place,” Michael told her, trying to prevent her from dragging him off the couch.

“You're no fun,” Gavin teased, peering over him from behind.

“You guys are already dressed for this party; I'm still in my clothes from last night and I'm not planning on changing.”

“We'll change you,” Lindsay threatened, though she smiled at him.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows at her. “No. I'm okay.”

Gavin scoffed. “Just go the way you're dressed now. You look amazing.” He may have meant it in the friendliest way possible (at least that's Michael thought during the time), Michael knew his cheeks were getting a red tint to them from hearing those last three words.

“Yeah, _please_ Michael,” Lindsay smiled sweetly at him, letting go of his wrist to clasp her hands together.

Michael looked away from her but he caught sight of Gavin doing the exact same thing from behind. “God damnit,” he muttered. So, he did end up going, but he made sure to at least put on a jacket to make his outfit somewhat different.

The party had taken place outside and the weather was already starting to get cooler than usual, which had Gavin instantly regretting not bring a jacket along. While Lindsay walked off to talk to a few of their other friends, Gavin stayed practically still in the corner of the lawn, hugging himself. Michael only left his side momentarily to grab a drink, but on his way back, he saw the way the Brit was shivering slightly, and he sighed before taking his own jacket off.

Gavin turned his head as Michael approached and smiled when Michael handed the jacket to him.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yes, just put it on. You're obviously freezing.” And Gavin did put it on, warmth rushing through him; he knew it wasn't just because he was now shielded by the harsh wind of the night. Michael felt the exact same way.

That was probably how they finally became an official couple a few months later.

But now here they were.

“It does look good on me, you can't deny that,” Gavin said to him, bringing him back.

Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” Yet his expression softened and he glanced down. “I didn't know you still had it.”

“Well, I was wearing it the...” Gavin trailed off a little, biting down on his lower lip. “The last time we... saw each other,” and he said it so slowly.

There was a slight tug in Michael's chest, but he nodded, because he remembered. Oh, he remembered well. “That's right, you were. And... I'm, uh, surprised you never tried coming back to get the rest of your stuff.”

Gavin's face completely fell at that and it was as though he couldn't even dare to look at Michael anymore. “I-” and he was cut off.

“Guys, look,” Arryn whispered, getting their attention.

Each of them stopped walking and stared into the direction she was staring in. She pointed a finger, but crouched down a bit.

“I just saw someone walk by,” her voice was low, barely a whisper. It was enough to make the others crouch down as well.

Barbara tilted her head, staring harder in hopes that she would spot the person. “Maybe we're getting close to somewhere,” she whispered.

“Maybe.”

Ray swallowed hard and looked up to find how much more orange the sky was getting, how low the sun was appearing. “We should head back,” he told them. “We went a long a way and if we leave now, it'll _just_ turn night by the time we get there... hopefully.”

“But I want to see what we're near,” Barbara urged, not taking her eyes off the section of trees.

“We can come back tomorrow, with everyone else.”

“Seems fair to me,” Gavin shrugged.

“Yeah, I'm good with that,” Arryn agreed, slowly standing back up.

Barbara frowned, but she couldn't argue with the fact that she could use a nice, long rest for the night. They all stood up fully and turned around to head right back where they came from. Michael only took one step forward until he heard a noise, something like a twig being stepped on and snapped in half. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder, seeing what looked to be a glimpse of someone peeking at them before ducking behind a tree. He moved his gaze around that area, blinking hard every few seconds, but he saw nothing anymore.

Perhaps he'd been seeing things? He didn't bring his glasses along and that mixed with what Arryn said was probably making his mind play tricks on him.

Yeah, that had to be the case.

He took a deep breath, but as he turned back, he jumped to find Gavin standing there. “ _Jesus_ , Gavin.”

“Sorry, but what are you waiting around for?” The Brit asked, brows squeezed together.

Michael licked his lips and glanced back one more time, yet still nothing or no one in sight. “I was just wondering if maybe whoever Arryn saw would appear again, but I guess not.”

Gavin's lips rose up and he grabbed Michael's hand, their fingers lacing together like earlier. “We'll probably find them tomorrow, but let's hurry up, because I'm starving.” Michael wasn't even going to lie; he was too, and his stomach decided right then and there to prove it.

 


	12. Chapter 12

“ _Where are you taking us?”_

_Silence._

“ _Can you fucking_ answer _me? Where. Are. You. Taking. Us?”_

_Still nothing but a glare and scoff his way._

“ _You pulled us – no –_ dragged _us out of our home, so I'd kind of appreciate it if you-”_

_The soldier finally turned his body to stare at the four people he had squeezed in the back of the truck. His brows furrowed as he stared deathly at the one person in particular that just wouldn't shut up._

“ _You're lucky we did what we did,” he spoke through clenched teeth. “If it weren't for us, you and your girlfriend here would be dead already.”_

“ _Well that should have been_ our _problem, not_ yours _.”_

“ _Are you saying you_ don't _want to be protected? Do you want to be out there where they can get you?”_

“ _Who's_ they _?” Arryn finally broke her silence and asked._

_The soldier's eyes slowly shifted to look at her and she shifted in a bit in her seat, uncomfortable under his dark gaze._

“ _Be grateful you won't ever have to find out, sweetheart.”_

 _Miles gaped at him while Arryn merely rolled her eyes, though she also placed a hand on Miles' lap to steady him, because she could already_ feel _the irritation rising up in him. Miles frowned deeply, narrowing his eyes at the soldier, but the man had already turned back to facing forward. Arryn looked over at the other two people that had been pulled into this mess (or safety? According to the “soldiers”)._

_They were both much older than she and Miles, and they wore worried expressions on their faces that easily mixed well with the way she was currently feeling inside. Little information was told to them when they were “saved”. Apparently they were going to a safe haven, a place where life could continue behind closed gates, to keep the bad and everything that was destroyed by it behind._

_Miles and Arryn did keep up with the news; they knew what had been happening to people, about the sicknesses and deaths, but that there was always something_ strange _about those deaths. Although, that was the_ small _detail was never fully explained._

_Arryn stared up ahead as large gates came into view, towering up high and topped with barbwire. The truck slowed down a little and she quickly noticed all the other vehicles making their way up to the gate, and she swallowed hard. From this view, she could barely make out what the inside looked like, especially with everything that was going on._

_Doors to the cars were opened and people would exit, some with families and some alone. It looked like they were getting escorted inside, but then they would stop and be patted down. Their eyes would then be examined carefully, it seemed, and... something_ else _was happening, but before Arryn could see exactly what, the doors to the truck they were in opened and she turned her head to see the soldier that had been driving standing outside._

 _Miles was cautious as he stepped out, as was Arryn, both giving the soldier a weary look, which was ignored. The two then_ closely _walked side by side as they followed said soldier up towards the front where everyone else was. Once they were only a few steps from being checked, Arryn reached her hand up to clutch Miles' arm, but the second she did, she someone else grab_ her _arm._

“ _Excuse me,” the person said, causing her to jump and turn towards them. It was the other soldier from their truck. Arryn wrinkled up her nose and Miles didn't dare hold back his annoyance._

“ _What?” Arryn asked after a moment, pulling her arm free, but the man only grabbed it again. This time, though, he yanked her aside, away from Miles._

“Hey _!” Miles growled, eyes wide._

“ _I've been thinking and I asked around a little, and it seems I'm right; you don't look the type to survive, so you won't be staying here with us,” the soldier said to Arryn, a wicked smile spread across his features._

_Arryn's jaw dropped open slowly and she sputtered, yet she wasn't given the chance to form her words, because the soldier pushed her once more with a final, “Good luck.” and a laugh. Miles launched forward at the man, but he was immediately held back by what appeared to be a few of the guards of this “safe haven.”_

“ _No, no, you don't. You're coming with us.”_

“ _I'm not going_ ANYWHERE _without her!” Miles shouted at them, squirming to get out of their grip._

“ _Some of us are just not fit for this new world and you have to understand that. It means we have to say goodbye to a lot of things and people in our past, to move further on into our new future-”_

“ _Shut up! Shut up!” Miles stomped his foot, snarling at the two. “Do you even hear yourselves?! You're spitting out a bunch of_ bullshit _and I'm not going to stay here and listen to another word you have to say!” He tried pulling himself from with one yank, but it was useless. “LET GO OF ME!”_

“ _You heard him; let go of him!” Someone shouted out, someone towards the left, and Miles turned his head to see a rather young man, no older than him, stepping up._

“ _Shut up and wait your turn,” the guard spoke, shaking his head and tightening his grip on Miles. Miles cried out and attempted to kick back, but he missed._

“ _You can't force him to stay here if he doesn't want to,” the stranger spoke, crossing his arms._

“ _I agree with him,” another man, one that was a little older and with a ginger beard, said as he walked up to join the other by his side._

_Arryn looked back and forth between those two and Miles, yet she said nothing – speechless by the whole ordeal._

“ _Let him go,” the young guy said, sternly too._

“ _You're supposed to be_ protecting _us, not throwing any of us out to fend for our own,” the older guy spoke, but the guards just laughed at what they both said._

_Miles tried kicking at the guard again, but this time, he was pushed forward and almost right into Arryn._

“ _Are you okay?” The younger guy asked, to which Miles nodded in response to. “Come on, let's get out of here.”_ Let's. _Miles blinked and met the guy's eye. It seemed he and Arryn weren't going to have to go through hell alone._

“ _We'll be safer without them,” the bearded man added in a low voice, low enough so that no one else could hear. Arryn's lips rose up and she nodded, already feeling safer. The two strangers turned and began walking off, taking the lead, and Arryn turned to face Miles._

_Miles took a deep breath, that she quickly noted as a little shaky, but when he grabbed her hand, she tried to keep her smile on her face as comfort to him. It worked as best as it could for he did return it, even if it was just slightly. They then quickly made their way back down the line of vehicles, following the other two, away from the horrid place that was supposed to be their new future. It was nothing but a lie, and they idly wondered how long it would be until the system failed and everyone fled._

“ _And don't you_ ever _think about returning, because you are all exposed, and we don't need exposure in our safe haven,” the guard cried out after them, but none of them bothered to look back... not even one glance their way._

_But before the four of them could make it far enough away, they heard the squeaks, heard the engines of cars turning back on, and that's when they did turn around to watch as the last of people were shuffled inside. They watched as the gates were steadily shut after them and as the soldiers drove off in the cars they came in, leaving nothing but dust clouds behind._

_Miles and Arryn coughed a bit, fanning the dust away from their faces, and they looked over their shoulders to see the other two still standing there, doing the same as them. After a short moment, though, the younger one cleared his throat and extended his hand._

“ _I'm Ray.”_

_Miles reached out and shook his hand. “Miles.”_

“ _I'm Arryn,” Arryn introduced, gently shaking Ray's hand after Miles, and they all looked towards the other man._

“ _I'm Jack,” he spoke, smiling sweetly as he shook each of their hands, including Ray's._

“ _Oh, I assumed you two knew each other,” Miles admitted, shrugging a shoulder._

“ _No, I just had to let those guys know what assholes they were being and he,” Ray nodded at Jack, “was nice enough to back me up.”_

_Jack laughed a little. “Well, I didn't want to come here, so I did what I had to do to get out of it. Besides, I don't know what their planning in there and I don't want to find out. Everything abut this gives me a bad vibe.” He shifted his attention toward Arryn directly and sighed. “There's nothing wrong with you. I hope they didn't put any ideas in your head, because of how they just kicked you out.”_

“ _Oh, nah,” Arryn smiled, waving him off. “_ But _I am guessing they honestly do think I'm weak and sick and that I've now officially gotten the three of you sick,” she gestured towards all of them. “You're all_ exposed _.”_

“ _Now that you mention it,” Ray brought his hands up to his own face, “I am feeling kind of warm...” though he grinned and the others shook their heads._

_Jack turned towards the road they drove up in and pointed in its direction. “We should start getting a move on and see where we can end up at before the sun goes down.”_

_Miles nodded. “You know, that's actually a good idea. It's kind of lonely out here and I'd rather not spend too much time wandering around.”_

“ _Why? Are you scared something's gonna come out of the bushes and eat you?” Ray joked, though right as Jack and Arryn were going to laugh, they heard a bit of rumbling nearby. Ray's eyes widened. “I... I was just kidding.”_

Errrrr...

“ _What was that?” Arryn asked, frantically looking around._

“ _I don't know,” Ray answered nervously as he also scanned the area, “but I seriously just woke up a few hours ago when a bunch of guys broke into my apartment and took me, and I am_ not _ready for this shit right now.”_

_Jack's eyebrows squeezed together, his back to Ray while he stared hard in a certain direction. “Are you serious? You only woke up a few hours ago? Jesus. Is that your regular sleeping schedule?”_

“ _Hey, don't judge me. I just recently moved to Austin and I haven't gotten a job yet... well, I guess now I never will, but I was just letting myself enjoy a few weeks of relaxation before-” another distant growl echoed and Ray practically crawled out of his skin. “What the fuck_ is _that?”_

“ _Let's get the hell out of here now!” Miles cried before the others nodded and took off down the road._

_And neither of them could find the courage to look back and see the creature sneak out of its hiding spot._

 

* * *

 

Miles kicked at a rock and watched how far it went from where he sat still, but when he saw that it landed right in front of a pair of feet, he gasped and looked up. Ray raised an eyebrow at him and sighed through his nose.

“Oh, hey... you guys are back,” Miles greeted, smiling softly.

“And you're just kicking rocks.”

“I kind of had nothing else to do...”

Barbara walked passed him right after Ray and patted his head before settling down near him. Arryn squeezed in between the two of them and Miles watched as she wasted no time getting comfortable and shutting her eyes. Michael and Gavin trailed in afterward, looking just as exhausted with heavy eyelids and feet that looked like they were painfully being forced to move.

Geoff grinned at the sight of those two and hurried over to their side. “Hey, how was it?” He sounded so cheerful. Gavin could just barely manage a weak smile at him before almost collapsing to his knees.

Michael ran his fingers through his hair, keeping his head low, and slowly got down to lie next to Gavin, and Geoff frowned.

“Long walk, wasn't it?” He asked Michael, for the sake of getting some sort of answer out of him, but to no prevail. Michael brushed him off and merely got as close as he could to Gavin before hiding his face in the Brit's neck.

Geoff pursed his lips and turned around, catching the way Ryan was staring at him. It wasn't cruel or cold in anyway, but more... like he was trying to figure something out but was confused and lost. Geoff thought about approaching him and asking what was wrong, but Ryan seemed to be able to read his mind, because the corners of his lips rose up in an assuring smile.

Geoff watched as he then walked over to the other side of the camp where there was still an empty spot to lie down. Geoff was going to find himself a spot to sleep as well when he heard Jack call out his name. He turned around to find the man approaching him with a soft expression.

“Wanna stay up with me to guard the place while the others sleep?” Jack asked, though he quickly added in more before Geoff could answer. “It'll only be for a little while. Then Ryan and Miles will take over since they don't need the rest as much as the people who left do.”

“Yeah, sure,” Geoff shrugged, managing a decent enough, convincing smile.

Jack nodded once and headed over to where he would be sitting to look out. Geoff decided he would watch out from the opposite end, but for a moment, he just stood there and looked over to where Michael and Gavin were already fast asleep. The two seemed to have their breathing in sync – stomachs slowly rising and falling at the same speed, so peacefully. Geoff began taking a few steps away, his eyes lingering a little longer on Michael in particular.

Well, it wasn't like this was the first time Michael had blatantly ignored him. Hell, the first week they were together was basically dreadful silence. So this couldn't be a surprise to Geoff... except it was, but he rolled his eyes and shook his head, because he wasn't about to dwell on it.

Although, when being look out and having practically everyday go the same, there wasn't much else to think about. Okay, perhaps there was. There were memories to remember. Though memories, even the fondest, were sometimes much too painful to think back on. There were strange, too, because everything used to be simple.

Well, life wasn't ever exactly simple, but it was never this.

It wasn't running for your life... killing the dead that refused to remain dead... snatching any food and water that could be found, hoping it wouldn't run out too soon...

It wasn't waking up with the fear that something terrible had just happened, because now it was easier than ever for that to happen. It wasn't being separated from the love of your life without a choice and without knowing where they were, whether they were alive or gone. It _certainly_ wasn't having to take turns looking out because nobody wanted some _thing_ to sneak up on them now, did they?

No, life before this wasn't simple, but it sure did beat this nightmare.

* * *

 

Michael scrunched up his nose at the feeling of something tickling his face, yet he kept his eyes closed, wanting to fall back asleep. He tried swatting away whatever the thing tickling him was, quickly pushing the thought that it was a spider out of his mind, but the thing kept coming back. He let out a small groan, annoyed and slightly worried... that is until he felt lips brushing against his jawline... his neck... collarbone... and he grinned.

“Gavin,” he breathed out, finally opening his eyes. Gavin lifted his head and smiled down so innocently at Michael that Michael had to hold back the urge to push him aside.

“ _Hi_ ,” Gavin greeted him, in an almost sing-song tone.

Michael brought his hands up to grab Gavin's face and pull him in close, but the sound of footsteps nearing them had them both looking up. Ray stopped abruptly next to them, scratching his head and bouncing on his toes a little.

“Uh, sorry,” he mumbled, looking away, “But uh, Ryan wants to talk to you about something, Gav.”

Gavin huffed. “Tell him to wait,” he looked back down at Michael and was leaning in when Ray spoke again.

“Or you can just talk to him now, get it over with and get back to Michael faster.”

Michael raised his eyebrows and nodded, “You know, that's not a bad idea.”

Gavin just huffed again. “I guess,” and regretfully, he jumped up to his feet. Ray moved aside and offered him a small smile, but Gavin sulked as he headed off to meet up with Ryan.

Michael decided it was best if he got up as well; no use lying around alone on the dirty ground while everyone else was doing something. He expected Ray to walk away and do whatever he did, but much to his surprise, Ray was standing still, watching him intently.

“I know I'm pretty to look at, but why the fuck are you just staring at me?” Michael asked him, adjusting his clothes.

Ray's brows furrowed at first and it looked like he was ready to say something completely different than what he did say. “I wanna apologize for what I said to you the other night,” and his face softened, “That was a dick move and I'm sorry. What happened between you and Gavin is business that's only between you two and not me.”

Michael blinked and titled his head. “Oh, well... shit... thanks.”

Ray's lips quirked upwards and he thought to himself while about what to say next Michael looked around on the ground to make sure he didn't drop anything. When the words came to him, Ray spoke up again, “I'm really glad you're here, because I didn't think I'd ever see Gavin look this relaxed,” he glanced over to where said Brit was, half listening to something Ryan was explaining to him and half looking around, _not_ listening, and Ray's smile grew.

“Was it really that bad?” Michael questioned, crossing his arms and also directing his attention to Gavin.

Ray looked down as he nodded. “Some days were worse and some days were okay. Some nights I had to basically beg him to go to sleep, but he _always_ claimed that he wasn't tired, which was bullshit, because I would catch him dozing off during the day...” He sighed loudly. “He just missed you a lot and as much as he tried not showing it, it wouldn't work. He didn't have to cry or talk about it for us to know; the look in his eyes was enough.”

Michael frowned and dropped his gaze as well. Ray took notice of his prolonged silence and turned his head to face him.

“It's better now, though,” he said.

Michael let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Do you really think that?”

Did he? Of course Ray didn't, but did he want to believe it? Sure, why not? So, he shrugged and simply answered with, “Sometimes certain things happen that make me think 'It _could_ be worse', so yeah, kind of.”

Michael once more looked up to see Gavin now standing with his back to him, but probably still only _half_ listening to Ryan. And Michael found it within him to smile, even if it was subtle. He turned to Ray and dismissed himself before heading over to Gavin.

“Just... _please_ tell me you got all of that,” Ryan said to the Brit, hopeful eyes.

“Uh, every single word,” that was such a lie, but Gavin sounded convincing enough for Ryan to be satisfied and walk off to leave him alone. Gavin sighed in relief, yet halfway through, he held his breath, startled as arms wrapped around his waist.

Michael rested his chin on Gavin's shoulder and looked up at him. “Hey, babe.” Gavin pulled away a little so he could turn around and come face-to-face with Michael instead.

“I should feel terrible, because Ryan just spent about ten minutes explaining something to me and I don't think I know exactly what,” he admitted and Michael rolled his eyes. “Don't roll your eyes at me, Michael. I got bored listening.”

Now Michael was gaping at him. “Wow, you _should_ feel terrible.” But Gavin merely laughed and pulled him in closer.

* * *

 

As the days passed, everyone started to have their own official jobs that they would mostly complete everyday or anytime it _needed_ to be done. They didn't actually expect to stay in that one spot for so long, but the longer they did stay, the more comfortable they became. There were hardly any close calls, nothing one or two of them couldn't handle on their own, so why leave? Where else would they find such solitude in this messed up reality?

Well, Arryn had her reasons for believing they weren't technically alone, but they had returned back down that trail where she saw someone, and they went further beyond that, and there was nothing or no one anywhere. Whoever it could have been must have left, yet Arryn still couldn't shake the feeling off. She wasn't the only one, of course, because Ryan remained a little uneasy at times, but Arryn was the only one that would actually talk about it with someone while Ryan tried to bottle it all inside.

Ray noticed it, though, and would attempt to ask him in the morning and at night, but Ryan kept assuring him he was “fine”.

“The other day you told me you had a feeling that-”

“Well, not anymore,” Ryan would cut him off. “So, drop it... forget it. Everything's going alright around here, can't you see?” With that, he would leave. Ray would stay behind and frown, but there was no way he was going to try _forcing_ it out of Ryan.

Also, he couldn't quite blame him, either, considering they were all bound to get suspicious over how things were getting a bit “too good to be true”. So, Ray finally dropped it and didn't ask again.

At least they had their small jobs to distract them; Ray, Gavin, and Michael were generally becoming the ones to go out searching for supplies in the nearest town if they were running low on a certain thing. This was put upon them when Michael volunteered and was immediately followed by Ray saying he would join him, and after some discussion, it was decided Gavin would also be with them. On their first run into town, Michael leaned in to Ray and whispered, “Thanks.”

“For what?” Ray asked.

Michael glanced back at Gavin and saw that the Brit was mainly focused on their surroundings rather than on anything else. He looked at Ray and smiled, “For looking out for Gavin, again for apologizing, and... for helping me out now.” The corners of Ray's mouth rose slowly in response.

Ryan, Jack, and Barbara were the hunters, especially after they started to find animals to hunt, specifically chickens that escaped from their home. The three eventually found that home too... an old farm house with a barn in the back. Both were run over with monsters, and after seeing the horrid sight, Ryan, Jack, and Barbara made sure to never get near it again.

Once they caught what they wanted, they'd return it to the camp where Ryan would help Geoff prepare it, because when Geoff wasn't being look out with Miles, he was cooking up their meals since they all discovered he was the best cook of the group. In those moments, Ryan was able to get to know Geoff better and know that perhaps his original thoughts on the man were far wrong.

Aside from being look out, Miles would attend to the weapons, making sure everything worked and fixing anything that needed help. Ray occasionally joined him, but Miles mainly had it covered on his own.

Things were going... good.

In the middle of day six, Geoff managed to find Michael sitting off to the side by himself. Gavin was in a conversation with Ryan who was ticked off that Gavin couldn't recall anything about making a fire and attending to it.

“You told me you got _every_ word I said to you the other day,” Geoff heard Ryan say as he walked by, but he didn't see or hear what Gavin said back.

Michael looked up as Geoff approached and sighed. “Hey, Geoff.”

“Hey, Michael,” Geoff smiled as he sat down next to him. “It's been a while since we've really talked. Uh, how are you feeling about everything? About all of this,” he gestured towards the camp.

“Better than what we had.”

“What? You didn't like being on the run every single day and hardly having anything to eat? Or was it just being stuck with me and only me?”

“Definitely the last part.”

Geoff furrowed his eyebrows, but when Michael grinned at him, he returned it. It didn't take too long for it falter as something came to mind – the real reason he came over to talk to Michael in the first place.

“You and me... we're okay, right?” He asked, evidently hesitantly.

Michael stuck out his tongue to wet his dry lips and he looked away. “Uh, yeah. Of course we are.” Before Geoff could think of a response, Michael sighed deeply and continued on as the words quickly came to him, “Look, I know I acted weird with you the other night and yeah we haven't talked much, but we... we are okay.” He looked Geoff in the eye again as he spoke those last words and finished with a nod of reassurance.

As fast as it had left, Geoff's smile was back. “I'm glad,” he said. “This group is nice and comforting, especially with how much we have, it's like a fucking luxury,” he laughed shortly and Michael smirked in return, “but in the end, you're still the only one I fully trust.”

Michael turned his head to look at Gavin who was still enduring Ryan's little lecture with such silent irritation. “Yeah, I know I said what we have now, with all of these people and all of this food, is better than before, but in the end, I think I'd be fine if it was just you, Gavin, and me.”

“We'd make a good team of three,” Geoff agreed, nodding, but noticing how Michael was still merely staring at Gavin, he couldn't help but lean closer and say, “Remind me to have a... _talk_ with Gavin. I think it's time I get to know him a little better.”

That was all it took to get Michael to narrow his eyes at him, and Geoff only grinned.

* * *

 

As another day came to a quick end, as all days were going, everyone settled around for their usual small dinner. Practically all of them were indulged in some sort of conversation with someone, except for Miles, who was more into finishing off his plate of food quietly. Which was fine, of course, but he wasn't always one to not have anything to say. Arryn didn't quite want to question him, yet the second he abruptly got up and started walking off, she had to.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Miles stopped a moment and looked back at her with hesitation. He swallowed thickly and shrugged. “Uh, I have to... pee,” the words came out mumbled and before Arryn could say anything to that, Miles turned away and hurried off.

Barbara raised an eyebrow as she looked back and forth between the two. “Everything okay?” She asked Arryn.

Arryn sighed loudly and stared down at her own food. “I... Well, I think.” The uneasiness in her tone had Barbara frowning. So, the blonde gently patted Arryn's back and looked over her shoulder in the direction Miles disappeared in.

She wanted to tell Arryn that things were probably okay, but what if they weren't? What if they really weren't... and she didn't want to think that way... yet sometimes, it was a little too difficult not to. Even the smallest things could turn into the worst.

Michael finished zipping back up and buttoning his jeans before he turned around and saw Miles heading his way. He made sure to quickly get out of his way, so he simply smiled at him, but the way Miles didn't bother returning it was... different. Michael furrowed his eyebrows as he glanced back at him.

“Hey, you alright?” He couldn't help himself from asking.

Upon hearing that question, Miles halted in his tracks, though he didn't look at Michael. He just stood there and rubbed the back of his neck. Perhaps it was simply that he needed to get this off his chest now or Michael had caught him at the right moment with that question, but he did answer truthfully.

“You ever feel like everyone around you is accomplishing so much... helping out so much... actually being _useful..._ and then there's just you...”

Michael looked around, somehow hoping that would help him find the right words. “Um, I've seen what you can do, and if you don't think that's useful-”

“No, don't try to make what I do look good,” Miles cut him off, now turning to face him. “All I do is check weapons _every_ _single_ _day_.”

“Yeah and without you, our weapons would go to shit.”

“But that's something _any_ of you can do! You guys just make me do it so I can feel like I'm doing something important, but I'm not,” Miles laughed, harshly too, and then it was over within seconds. “I'm not like Jack who can stitch up a wound quickly and _that's_ helpful these days. I'm not like Ryan who can lead and kill without a second thought.”

Miles lowered his gaze to the ground, frowning, or rather, pouting. “I'm not Barbara who's skilled at-”

“Stop,” Michael raised his hand and stepped forward. “Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. That's your problem _right_ there. Comparing. If you stop doing that, you'd be able to see a little better that you do mean a lot to the group and without you, we wouldn't be complete.”

“I'm supposed to believe that?”

“Well... you should.”

Miles wasn't buying it, though. He said nothing as he lowered his gaze to the ground. Michael took a deep breath and threw his hands up.

“Do you wanna know something that I would never tell any of them?”

Instead of using words to respond, Miles just shrugged and waited for Michael to continue. Michael made sure no one else was around before he licked his lips and spoke.

“I've only been out here for as long as I've known Geoff.”

“What do you mean?”

“I _mean..._ that before I met him,” Michael turned away slightly, “I was apart of those safe haven places or whatever the fuck you wanna call them.”

Miles blinked and raised his eyebrows. “ _What_?”

“They forced me in there, you know how it was, and yeah I just stayed there, because I had no fucking idea what else I was supposed to do. I was... I was scared. I was confused. But when I ended up realizing how fucked up it all was, how I was _never_ going to find Gavin from just being locked up in there, I escaped,” Michael paused to take a deep breath, but he closed his eyes before going on, “It took me forever, but they were good, I'll give them that much. They were good of keeping track of everyone and keeping us prisoners. Eventually I found a way, though, and I got the hell out.” He opened his eyes to see the expression on Miles' face and there was nothing but blankness there.

“I don't want any of them to know,” Michael continued. “I guess I don't want them to think I'm not as brave as them, because I'm not. Every time I go out on a supply run, I feel like I'm gonna shit myself. I'm not as used to this life like you guys are. It was no luxury in that prison hell, but... I just didn't have to worry about dead people coming after me everyday, you know?”

Miles nodded. “Yeah, I... I understand.”

Michael took another step towards him. “Look, you're not alone in this and you're _not_ useless. I keep trying to remind myself of that everyday. Not all of us are gonna look or act like we're cut out for this, because none of us were prepared. That's why we just have to make the best of it and do _our_ best, not someone else's best. Even if it's not a lot, at least we're doing something. That's all that matters.”

Again, Miles seemed as though he wasn't going to say anything, but after a moment of only staring at each other, the corners of his lips rose up. Michael decided that would be that, so with a quick smile in return, he nodded and fully turned around to leave. He made it a mere few steps away when he heard Miles' voice.

“Thank you.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I just wanted to get back into working on my full fics again. I also broke this chapter into two. Chapter 14 was originally going to be in this one, but I liked the way this chapter ended up alone.

Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.

That was exactly how their lives were going... just getting on with everyday, doing what they had to do, finishing what needed to be done, and... surviving... as best as they could. There was nothing new about it, nothing different. All was the same and they seemed to have silently decided it was best for it to remain that way.

On an early morning, Michael was woken up by someone gently shaking him by the arm. He was ready to protest, but after groaning, he heard Gavin say in such a hushed tone, “Michael, we have to run into town. Remember? We promised we'd do it before anyone else woke up.”

Yes, he remembered, but he sure did regret agreeing to it now. Michael forced his eyes open and found it difficult to keep them open since they were so easy to close. Gavin laughed softly at the sight and ran his fingers through Michael's messy and tangled curls. Michael couldn't help himself from leaning into Gavin's hand and just letting his eyes flutter shut again.

Ray quietly stepped up to the couple from behind Michael and Gavin smiled up at him, already knowing what he had in mind. Slowly, Ray crouched down, only slightly, and slammed his hands down hard on Michael's shoulders. If it weren't for Gavin being right there in front of him, Michael would have jumped all the way up to his feet, but since Gavin was there, he only gasped and jumped in his spot. And when he looked up to see Ray, he huffed.

“Wakey, wakey,” Ray whispered, grinning playfully.

Michael brought his hands up and rubbed his eyes as Gavin stood up to grab their things before they left.

“How much shit do we need to get?” Michael grumbled, pulling himself up to his feet.

“I think Ryan wanted to see if we could find some medicine; he's not feeling that great these days,” Gavin answered as he handed Michael his knife.

“What the hell's wrong with him?”

“Nausea, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“And headaches,” Gavin shrugged. They both looked over at Ray who was waiting for them by the path. Ray nodded once in the direction they were to leave in and headed on that way. Gavin and Michael quickly followed.

The heat was beginning to cool down to the point where walking for miles just to get into the town didn't feel like walking through a desert with layers of clothes on. Even so, Michael found himself wiping his forehead constantly. He slowed his steps down, but not enough to get Ray or Gavin to easily notice. He looked back and forth at the two, sometimes lingering longer on Gavin as certain things came forward into his mind, but as soon as he knew he was thinking too much, he would glance at Ray.

“Alright, we're almost there,” Ray then spoke, causing Michael to blink hard and come back to the reality of where they actually were.

“Last time we came across here, we were kind of outnumbered by _them_ ,” Gavin reminded the two, looking over to where a few buildings were in sight now.

Ray squinted his eyes as he stared in the same direction. They hadn't even been able to count how many of those creatures there had been. Ten... fifteen... perhaps a little more... all around them, some running, some taking their time as if knowing there was no need to rush – they had the three humans right where they wanted them. Gavin had his spare gun, though. The noise from the blasts did seem to attract more, but by the time the ones keeping them trapped were down, they were able to run off to safety.

Ray quickly looked at Gavin to see that spare gun was indeed with him now.

“Well, what do you say, lads?” Gavin asked, not taking his eyes off the buildings. “Let's go.”

Ray nodded and began taking a few steps while Gavin took the lead this time. Michael swallowed roughly and practically forced himself to go with them, his hold on his knife tightening. Ray raised an eyebrow as he peeked at Michael over his shoulder.

“Usually I'm the one who doesn't talk,” he stated. Though a smile crept up on his face after a moment, “Are you worried I'm gonna sneak up on you and scare you again?”

Michael rolled his eyes, yet remained quiet. Gavin was too occupied with making sure nothing or _no one_ was around to really pay attention to Michael's odd silence. Ray, however, couldn't quite pay attention to anything else but that. Gavin sped up down the small hill that led to the first buildings, the supermarket and the pharmacy, both of which they had visited plenty of times already. The places seemed to be getting emptier each time, though, and not just because of them. Others have clearly passed by and taken what they could.

“Let's split up, yeah?” Gavin spoke, turning around to face Ray and Michael. “I'll go get what Ryan needs from the pharmacy. You two can look around for anything else you think we need or are running out of.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Ray answered. He glanced at Michael for his response, but Michael merely nodded in agreement.

Satisfied, though, Gavin grinned and hurried towards the small building across the street. Ray stood in place, watching as Michael headed towards the supermarket's entrance.

“Been rough, I know,” Ray said to him, which did seem to catch him off guard, considering the way he halted in his tracks.

“What?” Michael asked, looking at him.

“That's why you're acting weird, right?”

Michael took a deep breath and let it out loudly, frustrated. “If I don't feel like talking, then I fucking don't. Don't make it out to be a bigger god damn deal than it really is,” and as he went to push open the store's doors, he heard Ray again.

“You're talking now.”

There was a pause in Michael, in movement and in speaking, and when Ray decided to drop it, Michael fully turned around.

“What did Gavin tell you?” He calmly questioned.

Ray rose his eyebrows and made sure Gavin wasn't out of the pharmacy yet before he even thought about saying anything out loud. “I'm gonna assume you're talking about-”

“What the fuck else would I be talking about?” Michael was quick about cutting him off and doing it sternly, too that Ray was a little taken aback.

The younger lad cleared his throat. “He didn't tell me every little thing, just a brief summary. He told me about his relationship with you, how you were the first guy he really fell in love with and uh,” Ray brought his hand up to scratch his head, looking down at his feet instead of at Michael, “and then he told me about how he fucked up. I asked him how and he explained to me what he did, you know, being out all the time, and then about that fight you guys had before he walked out... and uh, that's... that's it.”

Michael's eyebrows slowly squeezed together as he stared hard at Ray. “Are you sure that's it?”

Ray sighed through his nose and he met Michael's eye once more. “Yeah,” he nodded.

“So, he didn't... I don't know, tell you why he did what he did?” Michael asked, slowly walking up to Ray.

Ray stiffened a little. “I tried getting him to tell me that part, but I guess it's not something he likes to talk about.”

Michael frowned and stopped walking. “Really?”

“Yeah. Maybe you should try asking him. Maybe it's time you two clear that mess up, because it's _clearly_ still really bothering you, which I understand. It'd be bothering me too.”

“I just... I don't know _how_ to have this talk with him. Every time I've tried so far hasn't exactly worked out for me.”

“Why not?”

“It's kinda hard when you have a bunch of people surrounding you.”

“So, pull him away. The others should get it; they know what's between you two.”

Michael simply bit down on his lower lip and turned away, like he was unsure what to say to that. Ray's expression softened.

“You're scared, aren't you?”

“ _What_?” asked Michael, a glare taking over his features.

Ray offered him a small smile. “You're scared of what the answer will be, right? Part of you doesn't wanna know why.”

“No, I _wanna_ know. I do.”

“Okay, but you're still worried. You can't hide that little detail from me.”

As fast it had appeared, that glare faded from Michael's face and in its place was probably the most vulnerable look. Ray stepped forward and gently put a comforting hand on Michael's shoulder.

“It's okay to be worried,” he said, “but you deserve to know the truth, no matter what that is. Just remember... he never stopped loving you.”

Michael pursed his lips, feeling a slight burn in his eyes, and when he spoke, it was barely audible. “Then why did he leave me?”

Ray heard him as clear as always and held his breath as if the question had stung him more than it had stung Michael to ask it. Michael tilted his head and wanted to ask something Ray something else, but they were both interrupted by Gavin's voice appearing.

“Have you two just been _standing_ there this entire time?” There was a hint of playfulness in that tone.

Ray put his hand down and they both turned to see Gavin getting closer to them, holding a few things in his hands. The medicine, most likely, the two thought. The corners of Gavin's lips rose once he was at Michael's side and Michael returned that smile, although not as genuine.

“I guess we should just head back then,” the Brit said, nodding towards the direction they came from. “All we really needed to get was this,” he held up the medicine for Michael to see exactly what kind it was.

“Yeah, let's just go,” Michael agreed. Gavin continued to smile softly as he leaned in and connected his lips to Michael's.

Ray couldn't help but avert his eyes and frown, already replaying the previous conversation in his head. _I'm sorry, Michael._

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very long and _a lot_ does happen in it. Just saying...

Ryan wasn't one who would particularly hide what was wrong with him from anyone, but if anything, he would try to power through it to not bother another. This sudden nausea he couldn't rid of was close to being the first thing he was going to full on complain about since this whole mess of a world began. Ray made sure that he, Michael, and Gavin hurried back to the camp with the medicine for Ryan's sake. The second that camp came into view, the youngest lad turned around and held out his hand. Gavin nodded at him and Ray had to end up holding out both his hands for everything Gavin got to fit.

A hint of a smile tugged at Ray's lips as he held his hands behind his back and sauntered over to where Ryan was sitting with his head low and eyes squeezed shut. It was the sound of leaves crumbling underneath footsteps getting closer and closer that made Ryan open his eyes and look up before Ray was even in front of him.

Ray couldn't help it by then; he really smiled. Although, in the most bland and determined voice he mustered, he said, “I got the stuff.”

“The stuff?” Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow. He was resisting a smirk, Ray could tell.

“Yeah... the...” Ray looked around him, but everyone was pretty much out of ear shot. Yet, he leaned in a little and whispered anyway, “the stuff you requested.” He proceeded to holding his hands out to reveal exactly what he was referring to.

Ryan almost laughed, but he hardly had any energy for it. “You did good. Thank you.”

“Yeah, even got you some Pepto Bismol for that upset tummy of yours,” Ray said, holding the pink bottle up.

“Oh,” Ryan whined. “That still exists?”

“Ryan, please,” Ray smiled some more and handed everything to Ryan for him to choose what he wanted to take.

Ryan mumbled another “Thank you” as he looked down at everything he had. Ray stood there a moment, bouncing a little on his toes and looking at anything but Ryan. He saw that Barbara and Arryn were starting to wake up while Miles was in some conversation with Geoff which Gavin was about to join. Michael was merely sitting down where he had slept the previous night and Ray frowned.

He finally looked directly at Ryan and patted his shoulder. “Feel better,” he said softly before turning away.

“You're not going to join me and sit by my side while I drink this pink liquid of disgusting taste?” asked Ryan, stopping Ray in his tracks.

Ray glanced at him over his shoulder and shook his head. “I would, trust me, I _would..._ but I have someone to talk to. Don't die, alright?”

Ryan managed a small laugh as he nodded. “I won't.” And so while Ryan dared to take a sip, Ray headed over to Michael and casually sat down next to him without saying a word.

Michael blinked and looked at him, baffled, as it seemed. Ray sneaked a quick glance in Gavin's direction and met Michael's eye afterward. And Michael couldn't find it within him to say anything but sigh. Ray didn't blame him.

The remainder of the day, Michael pretty much steered clear of interaction with anyone unless he really had to say or ask something. While he was mostly alone, he wasn't just thinking over everything; he was constructing every thing that needed to be said, every question that was missing an answer, and he tried to mentally prepare himself for the outcomes. He wanted to tell himself it wasn't hard. Compared to everything else they were facing everyday – a long discussion with Gavin was nowhere near difficult, yet it still was. He was never fearful of confrontation before. If he had something to say, he would say it. If he wanted to know something, he would figure it out. No big deal. Never.

But here he was now, stressing over a damn conversation that hadn't even happened yet. He wondered if he was dreading the fact that it was going to happen more than it actually happening, because he knew that once it was happening, there was no turning back and he would know where to go from there, what to actually say.

Michael sat away from where Geoff and Jack were preparing dinner and stared up at the evening sky, finally feeling relaxed since he woke up.

“Hey,” he heard Gavin say. Well, the relaxation was nice while it didn't last.

Michael turned around and nodded at him. “Hi, Gavin,” at least he didn't sound bothered.

“You've been so quiet all day,” Gavin was walking slowly up to him, a crooked grin on his face, which admittedly was a bit annoying and unnecessary at the moment.

“Is that _funny_ to you?” Michael asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Immediately, that grin faded as Gavin shook his head. “No, it's not funny. I'm just wondering what's going on with you.”

Michael continued to glare at the Brit. _You deserve to know the truth, no matter what that is_ , Ray's words echoed in his mind. He took a deep breath and licked his lips. _Thanks, Ray_ , he thought to himself before throwing his hands up.

“What do you think is going on with me, Gav? Because I think it's more than obvious at this point.”

Gavin opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, but instead, he looked away. Michael groaned and rolled his eyes.

“We can't fucking avoid this anymore, okay?”

“But why does it even matter?” Gavin asked, a voice so soft that Michael needed to think about it a second to make sure he heard that correctly.

“ _What_?”

Gavin sighed and faced Michael again, “Why does it still matter? It's in the past. Look at what we're in now. Don't you think there are more important things to worry about?”

Michael's expression quickly changed into something of shock. He even had to take a step back. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Gavin frowned as he closed his eyes. “Michael...”

“No, Gavin, why? Just answer me that. _Why_?”

The Brit opened his eyes, though he kept his head down and kicked gently a rock, but it was his silence that had Michael curling his hands into fists.

“Did you... _do_ something?” Michael almost cringed at his own question. Judging by Gavin's flinch, he knew exactly what Michael was really trying to ask.

Gavin rubbed his temples, getting the hugest hit of déjà vu.“You've asked me this before, Michael, and my answer is still the same... I've made my mistakes, I know, but _that_ was never a mistake I made and it never will be. Quite frankly, I'm offended that you'd think I would-”

Michael laughed bitterly, cutting Gavin off and Gavin refused to look directly at him again.

“God damnit, Gavin, you not wanting to talk about it is only increasing my suspicion on that! If it wasn't as bad as that, then why can't you just _tell_ me?”

“Yeah, it's not as bad as that, but Michael, I don't know-”

“Hey, boys!” Geoff called, causing them both to spin around and see the man standing nearby.

Michael wrinkled up his nose and narrowed his eyes at him while Gavin forced a smile on his face as he spoke.

“Uh, yeah Geoff?” The words were pained, though.

“Dinner's ready. Come get some before it's all out,” and poor Geoff, he sounded so cheerful, but something about that only further increased Michael's annoyance.

“Okay, _great._ Can you leave now?” Michael asked him, teeth clenched.

Geoff raised his eyebrows and held up his hands. Gavin turned to glare at Michael yet Michael's focus remained on the other man.

Geoff offered him an apologetic smile and nodded. “Sorry for anything I interrupted. Just wanted to let you know.”

“Thanks,” Gavin told him, looking back and forth between him and Michael. With that, Geoff left, returning back to everyone else who were gathering around to get their meal.

And now alone, Gavin spoke to Michael, “You didn't have to be rude to him. He's _Geoff_.”

Michael was ready to respond to that, but he was interrupted. This time, though, it wasn't someone coming to tell them that dinner was ready. It was a scream. Any anger that Michael had was gone.

“That's Barb,” Gavin breathed out, his eyes widening along with Michael's. And they took off towards the camp where they could see everyone else was already holding out their weapons.

“What the hell is going on?” Michael asked, frantically looking around for a blonde in particular.

“She went off to do her business real quick and we just heard her scream,” Miles explained, clutching his crowbar.

“Ryan and Ray went after her,” Arryn continued, standing back to back with Miles.

“But they're taking too long,” Geoff said. “I think we should go in case they need help.” Right after he spoke, though, loud rustling was followed by the three coming into view.

Barbara was running up ahead of Ryan and Ray, glancing over her shoulder every now and so and only stopping once she was right near Miles and Arryn. Arryn pulled her into her arms before asking her what the hell just happened.

“I think we're under attack,” Ryan replied for her, a sternness to his face that made them all uneasy. “Someone shot at Barbara, but they missed, or... purposely missed.”

“I'm thinking the former,” Ray said.

“Who the hell would attack us?” Jack asked. “We haven't even communicated with other people to get on their bad side.”

“That doesn't bloody matter, Jack; people are desperate and will take what they get,” Gavin told him as he ran over to grab his and Michael's weapons.

“Yeah, remember how you met me and Michael,” Geoff shrugged.

Michael swallowed hard and before he could say anything, Arryn seemed to have read his mind.

“That person I told you guys I saw... what if they're part of this? What if they've been spying on us this whole time... just _waiting_ for the right moment?”

“And what better moment than when we're all relaxed and about to eat, right?” Miles asked, sighing.

Barbara pulled out of Arryn's arms and reached down inside her boot. “Then we're not just going to sit around here and let them strike,” she grabbed her knife and yanked off its case. “They did miss me on purpose, because I wasn't on my guard. They couldn't have missed on accident. That was a warning and if we don't act fast-” the sound of a gun shot caused her gasp and jump back. The others ducked.

“Okay, too late for acting fast,” she said, almost sounding like she was trying to joke around, but the slight shakiness in her hands and voice told otherwise.

“Michael,” Gavin called, running back to his side with his hunting knife, which Michael gladly accepted. It wasn't long until more shots went off, some even flying passed them and hitting a tree.

“Take cover!” Ryan shouted before crouching down to avoid the bullets.

“They're coming from all directions!” Ray yelled out as he shielded himself.

“We need to split up and attack back,” Geoff told them, crawling closer to the two.

There was a bullet that went right into the log next to Michael's head and while Michael stiffened and merely stared at it with his breath held, Gavin grabbed him, throwing him further down onto the ground to cover him with himself.

Geoff had seen what happened and stopped his movements towards Ryan and Ray to cry out, “ _Michael_!”

“Miles,” shrieked Arryn, keeping her face buried in the crook of his neck.

“Shh, it's okay,” Miles whispered back. “I'm not letting them hurt you. I promise.” He held her tightly against him and shut his eyes every time a bullet flew passed them, which was becoming a little too often. Whoever it was was trying to aim for them.

With a deep breath, Miles reached out towards his revolver, lying a few feet away. Arryn looked up and noticed what he was attempting before she reached for it herself, and being a little closer, she managed to grab it. Taking it from her, Miles looked to where the bullets seemed to be coming from. He couldn't quite see anyone, but he took a chance and shot back... again... again... and again... until he heard a loud grunt.

“Good job, Miles,” Ryan praised, jumping up from where he was hiding. He proceeded to shoot back as Miles had, carefully dodging as best as he could.

“I'm going for these assholes,” Geoff grumbled as he got to his feet as well, but he didn't stay behind as Ryan was; he ran out.

“Geoff!” Gavin and Miles shouted simultaneously. They then exchanged knowing looks, although, before Miles could take off after Geoff with Gavin, he looked to Arryn.

“Gavin's spare gun is near Barbara... do you think you can get it and use it to defend yourself?” He asked her.

“Ryan, be careful!” Jack screamed as he watched Ryan barely get away with being shot in the arm. Miles jumped at that, but he shook his head and returned his attention to Arryn.

“I can,” she answered, nodding. “Be careful, Miles. Take care of each other. _Please.”_

“And you and Barbara stick together, okay? We'll only make it out of this if we watch each other's backs.”

Arryn blinked and Miles frowned as he noticed how much more wet those eyes appeared to be. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forehead as she whispered, “I love you.”

He jumped to his feet and ran after Geoff and Gavin. Michael was remaining lying still on the ground. Gavin had told him to stay low and he had planned on not moving at all, but when he lifted his head and saw what everyone else was doing, he felt helpless and started to get himself up slowly, but the shootings were starting to become less frequent. Though he knew this wasn't the end of it.

* * *

 

Geoff was up against a tree, his gun up and aiming in every direction he looked in. It had become strangely... quiet and he was on full alert when he heard fast footsteps coming towards him. He aimed his gun towards the ones approaching, but he sighed and lowered it when he saw it was only Gavin and Miles. Gavin was looking around carefully, brows squeezed together.

“Where the hell did they go?” Miles asked.

“That's what I've been wondering,” Geoff told him. “As soon as I got out here, they disappeared.” He scoffed and pulled himself away from the tree. “You know who hides?!” He shouted out, looking around. “ _Babies_. So, why don't you come out and show yourselves?! You had _no_ problem shooting from a distance!”

Miles gulped, his heart picking up pace as he thought about Arryn. No, she would be okay. She would be. If anyone could handle themselves well in a situation as this one, it was her.

“Come on, let's go this way,” Geoff said, nodding towards the right. “I'm pretty sure some of the bullets were coming from over there.” Gavin nodded and he and Miles began to follow, but they made sure to keep looking behind them.

* * *

 

“Why did it all just... stop?” Barbara questioned, glancing all around, her knife clutched in her hands.

Arryn, who was sitting closely next to her, frowned and looked up at Ryan. It was just the three of them left at the camp. Michael had decided to take off into another direction and Jack went with him, not taking any risks of letting him go alone. Ray, however, did go alone down a different path. Although, it was more towards the ways Geoff, Miles, and Gavin had left in.

Ryan was staring hard in the same direction he had been this entire time. “I don't know,” he said, “but I'm not going to believe they just _gave_ up. No one just gives up after starting a fight like that one and if it seems like they did, they're planning something. They're waiting...”

Arryn tried keeping her hands steady as she held Gavin's colt. Ryan and Miles had taught her how to use guns, sure, but she still wasn't sure how she would handle really using one to fight back. She was usually just good with her hammer, but perhaps her hammer wasn't a fast enough weapon to use when being shot at. These weren't monsters after them... these were people. Actual human beings.

She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 

At any little noise, Michael would run forward and try tackling whoever he thought he heard. It was never anyone.

“Michael, slow down,” Jack warned him, keeping an eye on anything behind them.

“No, I _know_ I saw someone just now,” Michael mumbled, running his fingers through his hair with his free hand.

“You said that a few minutes ago and I haven't seen sight of _anyone_.”

“Well then maybe you should look harder, Jack, because I've been seeing a lot.”

“No, you think you're seeing people, but you're not. You need to relax and get your focus together.”

“It is together.”

Jack lowered his pistol and turned around to fully face the younger lad. “Hey, I want to get rid of these assholes and return to our normal lives just as much as you do, but we need to be careful and not pounce at any little noise we hear when it's clearly nothing. They might be making those noises on purpose, you know?”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at him. “ _Normal_? You consider our lives _normal_?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I guess.”

Jack squinted his eyes as he continued to watch Michael slowly walk from tree to tree. He honestly was relieved he went after him. “I know I've asked you this already, but are you sure you don't want to trade weapons? I hate using this thing,” he lifted the pistol, “Ryan only gave it to me for emergencies, but I think I'm better off using a knife.”

“I'm good,” Michael answered, though he sounded distant as though he'd been hardly listening. He was back to being suspicious of every little sound and Jack knew he needed to stay close if he didn't want anything bad to happen to the both of them.

And just as he was going to tell Michael to relax again, a gun shot went off.

 

* * *

 

Geoff, Gavin, and Miles all spun around at once at the sound of the gun shot, not even knowing which direction exactly it had come from.

“Arryn,” Miles said under his breath.

“Michael,” Gavin whispered.

Geoff widened his eyes as he asked, “Where _is_ Michael?”

“I told him to stay low, so he should still be at the camp,” the Brit answered, turning away to look behind them in case someone tried sneaking up.

“Okay, so he's with Arryn... they're together... they're fine,” Miles nodded, attempting to sound as confident as possible, but he was mostly doing it for himself. At the sound of twigs snapping, he gulped and turned his head to find someone he didn't recognize nearing them, holding up a rather large weapon and they were aiming it towards them. He opened his mouth to yell out, but then Geoff also noticed.

Gavin, having his back towards the stranger, was obviously the easiest target out of the three and without any hesitation, Geoff placed his hands on Gavin as he roughly pushed him aside. Gavin yelped and grabbed onto Miles, knocking him down to the ground with him. Geoff jumped back a little as he saw the arrow fly passed and perfectly launch into the dirt. He scowled, but as he started to aim his gun up at the person, they had already reloaded for another try.

Miles had seen this before Geoff had, and he threw Gavin off him and got to his feet to defend Geoff, but he hadn't seen that it was already too late. Gavin rolled over to get up as well and gaped when Geoff was right next to him, on his knees.

“ _Geoff_!” Miles wailed.

“Geoff...” Gavin breathlessly cried, getting to his knees and placing a hand on his shoulder. His eyes shifted down to his stomach, right near his chest, where the arrow had thrust itself into. A trail of blood was making its way lower, staining through Geoff's shirt.

The attacker was getting ready for another hit when a gun shot went off, taking all of them by surprise, specifically Miles, who momentarily believed he was the target. He had shielded himself and almost ducked down, but when nothing happened, when he wasn't hurt, he lowered his arms and noticed the attacker had been the one to be shot. He watched the stranger fall forward onto his face before turning around and finding Ray running up towards them.

Ray's determined look was quickly replaced by terror as he dropped down next to Geoff. “Hey, man... come on, you'll be fine. Jack can help you, alright? He's good with this stuff-”

“Ray,” Geoff held up his hand, letting out a breathy laugh. “I-it's okay. You... you... Gav and Miles... go. Go back t-to the others.”

Ray bit down on his lower lip as he saw a bit of blood begin to fall out of Geoff's mouth. He tentatively reached his hand up and wiped it some of it with his thumb. “We aren't going to leave you out here. We aren't going anywhere and you're gonna be fine.”

“Listen,” Miles spoke, crouching down in front of Geoff. “We're getting out of here together, all four of us, and we're gonna kill each of them for hurting you.”

“And Jack's going to help you,” Gavin added. “He's going to help you... he's helped all of us when we've been wounded. Okay? You're going to make it.”

Geoff turned his head to the side and spit to allow himself to speak better without such a full mouth. He knew they were only hoping, he knew nothing of what they said about him was going to be true, but for their sake, he nodded. “O-okay, but do... y-you think I can lie down?” His voice was shaky, that was evident, and he sounded in pain.

The three looked at each other before back at him.

Gavin was the first to speak, “No, why would you want to? We're going to make you stand up in a little bit anyway,” he forced a weak smile.

“I'm gonna get help,” Ray said as he jumped up and started to run off back towards the camp.

Miles also stood up, but not to follow him. He looked toward the dead body of the attacker and swallowed hard before walking over towards it. As he got closer, he noticed the weapon – a bow and a small bag of arrows.

“Your little group is _not_ going to win this,” he harshly whispered as he bent down and snatched the weapon from the dead body.

“G-Gavin,” Geoff choked out and despite Gavin hushing him, he went on, “T-take care of M-Michael. He... he loves you... s-so much.”

Gavin made sure to keep Geoff steady as to not fall forward or back. “Geoff, stop talking like this. You're going to be-”

“Y-you two need to work out... w-whatever the fuck is going on between you two,” and Geoff tried to laugh after saying that, but he barely could.

Gavin averted his eyes and shook his head. “You're going to be okay.”

Geoff grinned weakly at him, though he said nothing more to him.

 

* * *

 

“We're getting out of here. Now,” Ryan said as he began gathering everyone's things into one pile, easy for anyone to grab what they needed when they returned.

Barbara and Arryn jumped to their feet to help, and in that moment, Jack ran back into the camp, a look of relief washing over his face as he noticed the two and Ryan. They were alive... alive and well. _He_ was alive.

“Oh, thank Christ,” he sighed, wiping his forehead. “We heard that gun shot and we thought something happened here.”

“We?” Arryn asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked over Jack's shoulder. No one was there.

Jack turned around and rolled his eyes. “Oh, god damnit, Michael,” he hissed.

“I'll go get him,” Ryan said, already heading down the way Jack came in, “You three go find everyone else and hurry!” With those last words, he took off in a sprint.

“Okay, we know Geoff, Gavin, and Miles-” Barbara was speaking, but she was cut off by Ray calling out for help. The three of them whipped their heads in the direction the cries came from until the lad came into sight. For someone who was the most skilled at hiding what they felt, the fear in Ray's eyes was more than enough to get them all worried for whatever news he had to give.

Ray's attention went directly towards Jack and he came to a complete halt in front of him. “Jack,” he gasped, catching his breath. “Jack, Geoff... Geoff... needs you. He was... he was shot... with an arrow,” he was clutching his chest, feeling how fast his heart was pounding in there and he was so desperately trying to regain his strength, but he couldn't recall the last time he ran that fast. This world required plenty of running, but he really pushed himself there.

“Geoff was _what_?!” asked Barbara, frantically.

Ray inhaled sharply, but he kept his eyes on Jack. “We have to hurry back, man. I-I don't know... he was... he was shot right near his chest... it's bad. _Please_ , hurry.”

Arryn bent down and quickly grabbed Ryan's backpack where she knew most of Jack's supplies were in. “Here, go!” She said, tossing it as soon as Jack was facing her.

Jack caught the backpack and nodded at Ray. “There's no time to waste then. Hurry and show me the way!”

Ray quickly obliged and the two were gone, out of sight, within moments. Barbara brought her hands up and ran her fingers through her hair frustratingly as she paced. Arryn watched her with a deep frown slowly taking over her features.

“They're not getting away with this,” she said, but she didn't receive a reply from the blonde.

 

* * *

 

“So, you caught me,” the man said as he slowly circled Michael, a devious grin on his face. “Or I guess, I kind of caught you.”

Michael took a deep breath and let out loudly. He didn't bother holding back the annoyance he felt inside by glaring at this man. After the gun shot had went off, Jack turned and ran, saying they needed to see if everyone else was okay, but Michael remained behind when he spotted another glimpse of someone. He knew he hadn't been seeing things and he'd been right.

This person had been trailing him and Jack, and now here they were.

Michael held up his knife, preparing himself to strike, and the man laughed.

“You really think you can take me with _that_ when I have _this_?” He raised his gun, aiming it right at Michael's forehead and stopping in his tracks.

The corners of Michael's lips rose subtly and he daringly took a step forward. “Do it, then. I know you won't. This is too easy.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes it's nice to have things go a little too easy.”

“I can't agree more,” another voice said and Michael knew that voice well. _Ryan._

Michael barely had anytime to process anything before Ryan simply shot the stranger in the head, instantly killing him. Michael watched the man fall over, his eyes seeming to roll back, but perhaps he'd been seeing things there.

“Wow, no mercy, huh?” He asked Ryan, finally looking at him.

Ryan squinted his eyes. “I try to avoid killing actual people, but not this time. Now, come on. We're leaving.”

“What? We're just gonna run away?”

“I don't really have the time to care about these people and I don't really think we need to waste our energy and weapons on them. Do _you_?”

Michael's expression softened, but he shook his head. Ryan sighed softly and led the way, knowing he didn't have to look back to know Michael was following.

Back at the camp, though, Ryan's eyebrows squeezed together in confusion when he noticed Jack was now gone. He looked around for answers from either Barbara or Arryn.

Arryn spoke up, “Literally after you left, Ray returned and uh... he needed Jack's help,” her eyes shifted towards Michael.

“Why?” Ryan asked.

Arryn bit down on her lower lip and looked away. “Well, he said, uh, he said it was Geoff-”

“ _What_?” Michael interrupted, stepping towards her. “What about Geoff?”

Barbara stopped her pacing back and forth and threw her hands up. “He's hurt... he's hurt bad,” she said softly. Michael looked over at her, eyes slowly widening and all she could think of doing was mouthing, “I'm sorry.”

Michael dropped his knife and ran off in the way he remembered Geoff leaving in earlier, ran off before anyone could even think about stopping him. Ryan wouldn't have anyway. He was left in the same amount of shock as Michael, except, he couldn't find it within him to move because of it.

Miles stood aside, the bow and arrows held tightly in his arms, as he watched Jack examine Geoff's wound. From there, he couldn't tell what expression Jack was wearing – whether it was good or bad. He almost didn't want to know.

Ray's expression was unreadable and Gavin's was still the same as it was before, so there was nothing that helped Miles tell if Geoff was going to be alright or not. He swallowed thickly and perked up when he heard someone else running towards him, though upon seeing it was Michael, his face fell. _Oh, Michael..._

“Geoff!” Michael screamed, seeing everyone come into view.

Gavin gasped at the sound and quickly scrambled to his feet. He held out his hands as Michael ran towards them, but he stopped him from getting any closer.

“Michael-”

“ _Geoff_!” Michael whimpered, now able to see exactly how the older man looked, how drenched his shirt was. He made an effort of pulling away from Gavin's grip to get down next to Geoff, but the Brit was holding his ground and not allowing him to.

Geoff opened his eyes slowly and hissed through his teeth when he felt Jack touch him near his wound, but despite this, he did his best to look up at Michael and managed to smile at him. Or rather, his best try at a smile. Michael blinked a few times, his vision becoming blurry, and he shook his head.

“No,” he breathed out. “No...”

Geoff gently pushed Jack's hands away. “It's... okay,” he hardly whispered.

Jack furrowed his eyebrows, but Geoff merely waved him off. Gavin continued to hold onto Michael, clutching him by the waist and Michael scrunched up his nose as he roughly pushed him aside, away from him. Gavin managed to catch his balance and he didn't bother to stop Michael from crouching down next to Geoff. He stood there and looked back and forth from Michael to Ray to Miles – the last two sharing the same expression as him.

“G-Geoff, please,” Michael cried, burying his face in the man's shoulder and clutching onto the sleeve of his shirt.

“Michael, hey, it's okay,” he heard Geoff say, in the softest and most exhausted tone.

“No... no... Geoff, don't-” though Michael was cut off by a hand on the back of his head. He looked up and locked eyes with Geoff, letting a tear make its way down.

“Hey, i-it's okay,” Geoff spoke again, ignoring the way Michael was repeatedly saying “No” in such a hushed tone while shaking his head. “You're a good person, Michael, a good friend, a good everything... don't... d-don't-” and he trailed off, feeling the strongest urge to shut his eyes... to go to sleep... to never wake up.

Michael held his breath, tightening his grip on the sleeve. “S-Stop. Stop, okay? Jack is going to help you. Let him help you, _god damnit_ ,” his teeth were gritted and Gavin couldn't bare to watch them any longer.

Geoff let out another breathless and tired laugh, gently stroking Michael's hair. “Jack's... good at what... he does, but... he's no miracle w-worker.” Slowly, the corners of his mouth fell along with his eyelids and the slight shakiness he'd been having was beginning to end.

“Geoff,” Michael choked out, placing a hand on his cheek. “Please, Geoff. D-don't leave... _please_ don't leave me.”

“Oh, man,” Ray said under his breath. Miles closed his eyes and shook his head, unable to even look at the sight in front of him.

Gavin glanced back down for a moment and sighed in defeat, as did Jack before standing up. Michael appeared frozen in place, gaping at Geoff, tears escaping his eyes one at a time. Ray looked down at the gun in his hands, but no... he couldn't. He had a feeling Gavin wouldn't be able to, either. Or Miles.

“I guess we can wait for... Ryan to come here. I mean,” Ray licked his lips, “he's had to do this a few times already and it probably hasn't gotten any easier, but if anyone can do this, it'll be him-” he abruptly stopped talking as he watched Michael quickly stand up and snatch Gavin's gun from the Brit's hands.

“Michael, no, you don't have to!” Gavin tried, reaching out for him, but he jumped back as the gun went off.

Miles opened his eyes and gasped. Jack raised his eyebrows and looked at Michael, but Michael said nothing. He dropped the gun and roughly wiped his face with the back of his hand before storming off back toward the camp.

Gavin took a few steps away from Geoff, staring at him intently, unable to believe what exactly had happened. He blinked hard, though, and forced himself to look away. He picked up his gun and ignored everyone's looks as he ran off after Michael.

While they had been away, Ryan, Barbara, and Arryn had begun to load the van with their stuff, but hearing Gavin call out Michael's name grabbed their attentions. Ryan stepped back from the van, expecting to see Geoff walking up with him, but what he saw instead was an angry Michael and a frantic Gavin chasing him.

Michael walked right passed them, not once looking their way and because of the look on his face, Ryan didn't bother with him. He stopped Gavin instead.

“Hey, Gav, what the hell happened?”

Gavin huffed, but he did answer, “What do you _think_?”

Ryan's lips parted and Gavin groaned as he walked around him to go after Michael again.

“Gav, hey!” Arryn called, getting him to halt again. “Maybe... maybe that's not a good idea. Not right now.”

Gavin glared at her and without a reply, he disappeared behind the trees. Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose, already imagining the mistake Gavin just made.

Michael wasn't quite sure where he was heading to, if anywhere, but he just wanted to get the hell away from everyone for a little while. He needed space to breathe, space where no one could hear him, where he couldn't hear them. When he came to a resting spot, after finally noticing how weak his legs felt and how his heart was painfully throbbing, he placed a hand on a tree to steady himself. His face felt hot, hotter than usual, and he desperately craved some water.

“Michael!”

He growled quietly at the sound of Gavin's voice approaching.

“Michael!”

“ _What_ , Gavin?! _What_?!” Michael questioned, turning to look at him. “What the _fuck_ do you want?”

“I just came to see how you were.”

“Oh, well, I'm _great_. And _you_?” The sarcasm laced within those words had Gavin narrowing his eyes. Michael scoffed. “What answer were you looking for?”

“I know that you two were close and I know this isn't easy-”

“Alright, you know,” Michael shrugged. “You know all you need to know. Now leave. No... actually, _I_ will.” He tried walking off again, but Gavin was able to grab his wrist. Michael yanked it free and snarled at him. Gavin wore a bland look on his face and Michael understand exactly what that meant – he wasn't giving up.

“Okay, Gavin,” Michael closed the space between them until their faces were mere inches apart. Gavin almost broke when he noticed how red Michael's eyes were, but he didn't; he remained serious. “Why?” Michael asked.

Gavin raised an eyebrow, although, the longer Michael stared at him, the easier it was for him to figure out what he was referring to. “This isn't the time for that, Michael. You don't have to distract yourself-”

“I'm not trying to distract myself. I know _damn_ well what happened and how I feel about it, so fucking answer the question! _Why_?!”

“Love, you need to relax,” Gavin calmly said, grabbing his shoulders, “You're getting angry-”

“Oh, I'm passed angry, Gavin, and you not answering me is _not_ helping,” Michael threw Gavin's hands off his shoulders. “ _Why_?” This time, his voice was lowered.

Gavin slumped his own shoulders and frowned. “Because... I was scared.” He could have sworn he saw Michael's eye twitch, and it probably did, so he cleared his throat and further explained himself. “You... you started talking about the future _a lot_. You kept asking me all these questions and I... I didn't bloody know any of the answers! You wanted all of these things that I didn't, that I never wanted, and... I don't want you to think I wasn't happy with you. I was. I _am_ happy with you. You've always made me the happiest, but even so, Michael... even after we finally got together, I-I still didn't want any of what you did.”

Michael's eyebrows rose. “And you didn't think to just _talk_ to me about it?”

“I didn't know how. I _still_ don't, as you can see,” Gavin licked his lips and took a deep breath. “How are you supposed to look the love of your life in the eyes and say you're terrified of... of what you two have? And I didn't want to disappoint you... I didn't want to take away what you wanted because I didn't want it, and I would have _hated_ myself if you would have pretended like you didn't care to give those things up.”

“Oh my god, Gavin,” Michael whispered as he turned away, grabbing at his own hair. He stopped a moment and furrowed his eyebrows. “So, you were _scared_?”

Gavin nodded, despite the fact that Michael was no longer looking at him. “Yes.”

“And instead of facing your problems, you ran from it?”

“I... I don't know.”

Michael rolled his eyes and faced him. “You don't know?”

“Michael...”

“Where the _fuck_ would you go every night? You said you weren't cheating, but where the fuck were you spending all your time at?”

“I purposely didn't tell you, but Dan was coming to visit us. I told him not to come to our place like usual and got him a hotel room to stay at... so that I could stay there with him.”

“ _What_?”

“It wasn't anything like that, Michael!”

Michael crossed his arms. “Well, shit, I _wasn't_ thinking anything like that, but now I kind of am.”

“Dan was nothing but my best friend, just like Lindsay was to you! He never even found me attractive! He found _you_ attractive, but that's beside the point.”

“Then get to it, Gavin,” Michael glared at him, practically shooting daggers with his eyes. It really was intimidating.

Gavin rubbed his face with his hands and let out a small whine. “So, he came into town, and I met up with him at the hotel, and I told him... everything. We talked about it for hours, and then I went home. The next night, I met up with him again, but this time, we hung out outside of the room, because I didn't want his visit to go to waste. That was basically my nights... just him and me, being us.”

Michael was watching the expressions on Gavin's face carefully and when it changed drastically, he felt something tug in his chest. Gavin's sudden silence wasn't making him feel any better. “There's... there's more to it, isn't there?” He asked, even though he really didn't want to. He wanted this to be over already, to say that he was angry about how Gavin had decided to handle being afraid. He didn't want there to be anything else to it, but he knew there was.

And he was right.

Gavin rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “So much... guilt.”

“From what?” Michael's heart was pounding again, but it was starting to be from nerves of what Gavin had to say, of what the hell he could be guilty for.

Gavin averted his eyes. “There was this one night at a bar,” he paused a second when he heard Michael mutter “Oh my god”, but he continued, even though his stomach was feeling funny, “I was a mess. I couldn't stop talking about you, about an argument we had earlier in the day... and Dan told me not to drink, that it would only make it worse, but I didn't listen. I thought it would make me better and you know what? It did. I was feeling more and more relieved the more I drank. But...” he bit down on his lower lip.

Michael could feel his eyes watering again, but he swallowed the lump in his throat. “But?” And that came out much less demanding than he had hoped.

“I said I didn't cheat on you and I'm not lying, but... I almost did.”

“What the fuck does _that_ mean?”

“It was mostly just flirting and she... well, she did start touching me, but nowhere below the waist, and that's it. Nothing more than that. Dan pulled me away and-”

“ _Dan_ pulled you away? _He_ had to pull you away? You couldn't pull _yourself_ away?”

“Michael, I was stupid and I was drunk and... I just hated myself. I knew I was hurting you and-”

“None of those are excuses for _almost_ cheating on the person you say you supposedly _love_!”

“There's nothing to suppose about it, Michael! I know I love you and I've always loved you and I'm sorry!” Gavin's voice seemed to crack a bit at the end, so he allowed himself to breathe a second. He watched Michael sway back and forth, seeing how his cheeks were glistening from the tears escaping.

“That happened the night before our last argument, before I left...” Gavin went on, “That was the first time you asked me if I'd been seeing someone else and I just _immediately_ remembered what almost happened at the bar, and I couldn't take it. I was _angry._.. at myself, but I took it out on you,” he faced the ground and kicked at a dry patch of grass, unsure of where to go from there.

“ _Why_ , Gavin?” Michael's voice sounded pained, tired, and quiet. “Why did you have to complicate everything? Why couldn't you just talk to me instead of letting me think it was all _my_ fault? You have no idea how _shitty_ I felt about myself. You made me think _I_ fucked us up.”

“Because that's what I do, Michael; I ruin any decent thing in my life.”

Michael sniffled and wiped his face roughly. He waited a little in case Gavin had anything else to say, although a part of him was hoping not. His hope proved to be real when Gavin simply kept his head low. Michael raised his hand and gently pulled out the pendant that was hiding inside his tank top. He looked down at it as his lower lip quivered. Before giving too much thought to it, he yanked it off his neck, the chain only slightly hurting the back of his neck in the process, but it came off quick enough. The snap it had made when it came off caused Gavin to look up with wide eyes.

Michael held it up for him to see and inhaled shakily. “I guess a great friend isn't the only thing I...” he exhaled, “lost today,” and he let the necklace fall from his hand. Gavin followed it with his eyes until it hit the ground.

Michael turned on his heel and began walking off again, though like before, Gavin called after him.

“Get the _hell_ away from me, Gavin!” Michael shouted back, not once bothering to glance over his shoulder or anything.

“But where are you going...” Gavin asked, his voice getting quieter with each word, but he did oblige Michael's wishes, despite not wanting to.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two songs in this chapter, but the overall song is "[Tell Me How To Feel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nopt7GiAb08)" by Maggie Eckford. I'll link the second song at the end.

_Michael pursed his lips as he stayed seated where he'd been sitting since he got there. He sat there, making small talk with whoever tried approaching him, but it was mainly only Lindsay who cared. Although, now Lindsay was a bit occupied; she'd been pulled away with the other bridesmaids for photos while the guests continued to dance. Michael was going to back out of coming to this wedding at the last minute, especially after the huge fight he had with Gavin a few days earlier, but Lindsay had convinced him to go anyway._

“ _You don't need Gavin to have fun; you have me!” She had said, her usual bubbly smile on her pretty face._

“ _You're probably gonna be to busy to even talk to me, being a bridesmaid and all,” he told her._

“ _No, I'm not. Okay, maybe at the beginning, but once all the main things are out of the way, I'll be_ all _yours.”_

 _Or so she had said. But of course, that was a lie. Michael was sitting alone and bored out of his mind._ Maybe I shouldjust fucking leave _, he thought to himself, but a part of him felt bad doing so, especially before anyone else did, and the bride had always been so nice to him. She'd been kind enough to invite him and Gavin, even though she only really knew Lindsay (obviously)._

_The song that had been playing ended and Michael hardly listened to the DJ talk about how he was going to slow it down for the couple to rejoin the dance floor together. The only good thing about that announcement was that it meant Lindsay was probably finally done with photos. Michael sat up a little more to peek over everyone's heads to try to see if he could spot her. Everyone cleared out the dance floor, allowing the bride and groom to take the center and begin dancing. It didn't take long at all, not even a minute into the song, for everyone else with a partner to head back to dance as well._

_Michael slumped down in his chair and rolled his eyes. He felt bad for how bored he was, but really, he couldn't help himself. He didn't know many people there while everyone else seemed to know each other very well. He sighed deeply and looked away from the slow dancing couples._

“ _Someone isn't having a good time,” Gavin... that was Gavin's voice._

_Michael widened his eyes as he looked up to see him standing there, in front of his table. “What the hell are you...” but he was cut off by Gavin holding out his hand to him. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “You dance?”_

_Gavin merely walked around the table until he was at Michael's side and Michael hesitated a moment before getting up to be led onto the floor. Gavin placed a hand on Michael's waist and with his other, he grabbed Michael's._

_And he laughed softly. “No, I don't dance. I have no idea what I'm doing.”_

“ _That doesn't even surprise me,” Michael answered. He wanted to smile, but even when he tried, it faltered quickly. “I thought you weren't going to show up.”_

_Gavin sighed softly and nodded. “Yeah, I wasn't, but I kept thinking about you and about Thursday night.” There was pause as he stuck out his tongue slightly to wet his lips. “I knew I needed to talk to you.”_

“ _It was one thing that led to another which led to us arguing more than we should have,” Michael admitted with a shrug. “It sucked and you did piss me off a lot because you're an asshole-” Gavin smiled innocently at that, “-but it's not something I want us to stay mad at each other for a long time over. It's not worth it.”_

“ _I'm sorry for even bringing it up in the first place,” Gavin said, “but I'm_ ecstatic _that we can move on from this.”_

“ _Don't get too excited, Gav; I won't let you off that easy next time.”_

“ _There won't be a next time.”_

“ _Yes, there probably will be.”_

“ _Michael Jones, do you not have any faith in me?”_

_Michael abruptly pushed him in closer and grinned at his reaction of a quiet gasp. “I do... kind of.”_

_Gavin tilted his head and squeezed his eyebrows together, but it didn't take long after for him to return Michael's grin. The good thing about slow love songs, such as the one that was currently playing, was that it didn't have to involve so much movement. They were merely swaying together and no one around them could tell if they could honestly dance or not if they were to look their way. Lindsay, however, could, but only because she knew them best. So when she walked back into the main room with the other bridesmaids, she hurriedly headed back towards the table Michael had been sitting at and saw the two on the dance floor, she places her hands on her hips and shook her head, smiling._

_The song soon ended and everyone's attentions turned towards the DJ as he announced that it was time for the bride to toss her bouquet. Lindsay wasn't going to participate in that, but as she saw the rest of the bridesmaids and a couple of her other friends going for it, she decided “why not?” and went on to join the crowd._

_Michael and Gavin moved away, back near the table._

“ _I want to say I'm sorry again,” Gavin spoke softly, looking over at his boyfriend._

“ _Gav, it's okay. I forgive you. I need to say I'm sorry, too, since it wasn't just you. We both started it and neither of us tried to end it.”_

 _With a nod, Gavin brought his hands up and cupped Michael's face. Michael slowly started closing his eyes as he leaned in, but they were both thrown off guard as something hit the sides of their faces. Gavin stepped back a little and Michael barely managed to catch the small bouquet in his hands before it fell to the ground. Everyone, literally everyone, spun around to see who'd had caught it, and they all_ stared _at Michael – silently._

“ _Woo, Michael and Gavin!” Lindsay cheered, clapping her hands loudly and breaking that silence. Quickly, the others did the same._

_Michael sighed and shook his head, but he looked at Gavin and waggled his eyebrows. Gavin breathed out a laugh, a little forced, and then his expression grew completely serious as he knocked the small bouquet out of Michael's hand. Michael furrowed his eyebrows, but before he could question it, Gavin's lips were on his._

 

* * *

 

Michael halted in his tracks at the sound of a distant growl and held his breath. Did he even want to know which direction that had come from? He turned his head and scanned the area for any signs of any of _them_ , but there was nothing there. He tried looking in a direction direction, but still nothing. Swallowing hard, he took a step back. In all honesty, he wasn't quite sure how far he had gotten from the camp since he walked away from Gavin, but he was _really_ hoping he could find his way back. He didn't even have his knife with him...

The question of “Where am I actually going and why am I not prepared?” hadn't even bothered to cross his mind as he turned away from Gavin. The only thing plaguing his mind had been that he wanted to be elsewhere, just anywhere Gavin wasn't, at least for a little while. He needed to process it.

The more he thought about it, though, the more he imagined Gavin being out every night and having that _one_ night where he _almost..._ well, it only increased Michael's frustration and urge to want to scream.

 _Errrr_.

He spun around, eyes widening. Where the hell was it? That thing... it was getting closer... Crap, why didn't he make sure he had his weapon on him before storming off?

He looked back over his shoulder and up at the nearest tree. Well, he could always climb up there if he needed to. He nodded to himself and turned back to start his climb.

“Going somewhere?” A voice asked from behind.

Michael cursed under his breath, because he knew exactly who that was. “Where the fuck did you come from and how did I not hear or see you?”

The corners of Ray's lips twitched up, “I take pride in how quiet I can be. It's one of my skills.” Michael turned to face him and in that moment, Ray held up a certain necklace. “I think you dropped something back there.”

“You knew, didn't you?” Michael asked, crossing his arms. “When I asked you if you knew, you did.”

Ray took a deep breath and frowned. “Hey, listen... I would have told you, but-”

“Yeah, I get why you didn't, but it stills pisses me off a little.”

“And I get why you did this,” Ray pointed to the broken clasp on the chain of the necklace and Michael merely swallowed hard instead and didn't say anything in response to that. “When I was starting to get to know him and he started opening up about you, I was pretty mad at him, too, for doing that to you and for _almost_ doing something else.”

“I don't wanna talk about this,” Michael mumbled, averting his eyes. “It's... it's been a long day. I'm just done with it and I wanna be alone.”

_Errrrr...._

They both looked up at that and Ray raised an eyebrow at Michael.

“You wanna be alone? Out here?” He crossed his arms. “You sure about that?”

Michael rolled his eyes and started walking forward. Just as he tried passing Ray, Ray held out the necklace to him. Michael stopped moving a moment as he stared it, hesitating a little, but he did eventually take it from his hand and continued on walking. Ray followed suit.

“You know, it took me a while to catch up with you. I mean, you were just walking and I had to run a little to keep you in my sights.”

“So you were following me the whole time?”

“Well, after I found Gavin and he told me what happened, I knew I had to go after you to make sure you were okay.”

Michael scoffed. “I'm not okay, I'll admit that, and I don't think I will be anytime soon.”

Ray slowed his steps as he took in what Michael had just said. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you,” his voice was soft, almost too soft for Michael to hear, but he did.

“I told you I get why you didn't.”

“Yeah, but I did want to tell you, because like I said, you deserved to know the truth.”

“Mhm,” Michael nodded, still keeping his speed in his walk, “Now I _know_ the truth and I really wish I fucking didn't.”

 

* * *

 

Ryan closed his eyes and shook his head while Gavin had to completely turn away as Jack gently set Geoff's lifeless body down. Miles also found it difficult to look over, as did Barbara and Arryn who were purposely standing behind Ryan and Gavin to not be able to see even a sight.

“What are we... gonna do?” Barbara asked quietly.

“Give him a proper burial,” Ryan answered as he opened his eyes. “Probably not a great one, but the best we can give before we leave.” As he began to walk towards Geoff, Jack stepped back and out of the way. Ryan stopped right next to the body, lips set in a straight line. “This is way overdue, but I shouldn't have mistrusted you,” he was purposely speaking low, practically under his breath, not wanting the others to hear, “You... you were a good man, and I wish I would have seen that from that start. I'm sorry we didn't get along better, but thank you for _everything_.”

He looked up and locked eyes with Jack, giving him a nod. “Let's get digging.”

“Do we have everything in the van, ready to go?” Gavin asked Barbara, still wanting to distract himself from looking at what else was happening.

“Yep, but if anything is missing, it's not as important,” Barbara answered him.

“Hey, any little thing can be seen as important these da-” Gavin unexpectedly paused there and Barbara waited a bit, trying to figure out why on her own, but as she heard footsteps coming from behind, she looked to find Michael and Ray making their way towards them.

“Happy to see you two back,” Arryn spoke.

Ray nodded at her while Michael merely glanced her way. Gavin's eyes were all glued on Michael, following him carefully – even a smile was starting to make his way on his face.

“Michael, you're back...” though he had no choice but to trail off, because Michael walked right passed him without even looking at him once.

The older lad wasn't able to make it too far passed Gavin, though, not when he noticed what Ryan and Jack were doing. His breath hitched in his throat and Ryan turned around to face him. Michael's eyes shifted down to what the man was holding in his hands – Geoff's backpack.

Ryan held it out to him, saying, “Maybe you should take care of this.”

Michael slowly closed his mouth. He stared intently at that backpack, unknowing whether or not to take it. He wanted to, but then he didn't. Ray gently placed a hand on his back and comfortably began rubbing circles on it.

Gavin stepped toward Michael, “Only if you want to,” he said, reaching his hand down to grab Michael's, but Michael pulled his away and took the backpack from Ryan. Gavin bit down on his bottom lip and went back to his original spot in front of Barbara.

“Is there anything you want to say to him before we...?” asked Ryan.

Michael shook his head, clutching the backpack in his arms. “No,” was his simple answer, in such a dull tone.

“Anyone else?” Ryan looked at the rest. They all shook their heads except for Barbara who inhaled sharply and placed her hand on her chest as though that would steady her heartbeat.

“I can't... I can't watch this or be around when you do this,” she responded, the last words spoken as she hurried off where the van was.

“She has a good idea there; you all go wait in the van and we'll be there when we're done,” Ryan told the others.

Miles and Arryn went on their way while Michael, Ray, and Gavin seemed to silently debate who should go next or if they should just walk there together... awkwardly. Michael sighed through his nose and decided he'd have to make the move first if they ever wanted to get anywhere. Gavin's mouth fell open in an attempt to say something to Michael while he headed over to the van, but feeling Ray's gaze on him shut him right up before he could even make a sound. He gazed back at Ray, giving a clear “What do you want?” questioning face.

Ray huffed and slumped his shoulders. “You can't expect him to just be okay with you right away,” he whispered, in case Michael could still hear them.

“I don't,” Gavin replied, glancing back and forth between the two. Ray narrowed his eyes at him and Gavin groaned. “I _know,_ Ray. I know. And I will give him all the time he needs, but I'm just worried about him.”

“Well, he's a big boy, Gavin.”

“This isn't the time for jokes, Ray. I'm serious.”

“I understand. Yeah, I understand that this entire day is a piece of crap and we all are going to need some time to heal from what happened, Michael more than us, so I do get why you're worried, but _don't_ smother him... especially when you're part of the reason he's upset right now,” that last part was said the quietest, but Gavin heard him loud and clear.

“Oh, _thanks,_ Ray,” Gavin shook his head. “You're such a great mate.”

Ray turned his attention on Ryan and Jack, slowly but surely digging a large enough hole. He pretended as though Gavin hadn't said anything at all and Gavin took that as a sign that their conversation was over. Fine with him. The Brit turned on his heel and wandered back to the van with everyone else. Ryan looked up momentarily and locked eyes with Ray. Ray wanted it to linger, their stares at each other, but he broke the eye contact by turning around and leaving like nothing had occurred between them, because nothing really had, but it still felt like everything to him... he just didn't need Ryan knowing that.

 

* * *

 

Barbara was huddled in the corner of the van with Arryn sat next to her and Miles on her right. Michael had taken up his space a few inches away from them in the other corner, Geoff's backpack resting on his lap. He had thought about opening it up and seeing what Geoff still had inside, but he didn't have the strength to do so yet. Gavin and Ray were sitting by the double doors on the opposite ends, neither looking at each other or anyone else but their own hands or the floor of the van. Everyone's belongings, aside from Geoff's, were piled in the middle, being a sort of wall between them. Ryan was the one driving this time while Jack took the passenger seat, carefully staring out the window to see if he could find any trace of others.

“We're going to need to fill this up soon,” Ryan said to Jack.

Jack looked over to eye the gas gauge and seeing the arrow nearing closer to “E”. “Great, just what we need,” he mumbled.

“Don't worry too much about it; I think we're getting closer to the next town anyway.”

Jack nodded. “We aren't planning on stopping anywhere tonight, right? I mean, the sun set a while ago and won't be coming back up for hours.”

“To be completely honest with you, I don't even know what we're going to do. We had a good thing going back there...”

“We'll find a good place for us. We will.”

Ryan shifted in his seat and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Perhaps they would... they would find their next safe haven, wherever that was. Ryan just hoped it wouldn't take them too long.

“Ryan, look out!” Jack shouted and Ryan barely caught glimpse of the person that had run out onto the path in time.

He stomped on the brakes, sending both him and Jack forward a bit before falling back into their seats. Everyone in the back also had the same experience, but worse since they didn't have seat belts. Ray and Gavin were practically flung towards the middle, but managed to catch themselves.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Gavin growled, rubbing his head.

Ray blinked hard, trying to rid of the slight dizziness that had given him, and he stood up, just enough to see through the small window up front. “There's someone in front of the van,” he announced.

“ _What_?” Miles asked.

Ray saw Ryan and Jack get out of the van and he hurriedly pushed open the double doors to accompany them up there. Michael set the backpack aside and reached for his knife before following Ray out. Gavin gaped at him, but he said nothing to stop him.

“Do you think anymore of us should go?” Arryn questioned, getting up on her knees to peek out the window. She couldn't see the stranger now that Ryan and Jack were standing directly in front of them, but she did see Ray and Michael joining them a few seconds later.

“I'll go,” Barbara said, leaping to her feet with her own knife clutched in her hand.

Miles nodded at her and got to his knees next to Arryn to watch what was going to unfold. Gavin sneaked up behind them to see as best as he could as well from in there. Barbara hesitantly approached the others, purposely taking her time and merely listening to what was being said.

“P-please... _help_ me,” the person spoke, weakness and agony trembling in their voice. It sounded as though their throat was completely dry – their mouth in desperate need of water.

Barbara made it behind Michael and up ahead, lying on the floor, was a man who was visibly shaking. What pained her most about the sight was how young he looked. He couldn't be much older than her or at least Michael.

Ray raised an eyebrow as his eyes trailed down the man's arm and then the side of his face. Blood was trickling down on both parts. “Is he bit?” He asked, sounding cruel, though he didn't look it. He also couldn't help but notice the blood coming from a cut on the corner of the man's bottom lip.

Ryan looked at Jack for the answer to Ray's question and Jack went to investigate by bending down in front of the stranger.

The guy shook his head slowly. “No, I-I'm not... I-I promise. It's... it's nothing like-like that.”

“Who did this to you?” asked Ryan.

The guy looked up at him, brows squeezed together and eyes looking on the verge of tears. “I-I... I just got on someone's bad side. I didn't mean to; I was just trying to... to protect someone else and it got out of hand and-” Jack raised his hand, cutting him off. He then stood back up and turned to face the rest of his group.

“You're not even going to check to make sure he _isn't_ bit?” Ray demanded.

“I'm not,” the guy whispered, but Ray just squinted his eyes at him.

“He seems harmless enough,” Jack answered. “If he says he isn't, I actually believe him. I mean, look at him,” he nodded towards him. Everyone did look.

“Yeah, well, you can't just trust every pair of baby blues,” Ray stated. Ryan blinked and turned to him, and he was a bit taken aback to find Ray already looking back at him.

Barbara frowned, crossing her arms as she finally stepped forward. “ _Whose_ bad side did you get on and was it really just _one_ person?” She asked the stranger, but she got the others to turn their attentions on her.

The stranger sighed in defeat and closed his eyes. “I'll tell you... I'll tell you everything, but please... I need help first,” he tried swallowing, but his throat was rough and dry. Even his chapped and bruised lips were beginning to hurt more. “I promise... I-I'll get out of your way after you help me. Please, I feel like I'm going to black out. I-I've been running for so long and I know I've lost some blood... so please,” a few of his words sounded as though he had lost his complete breath for a second, but everyone heard exactly what he had said. He opened his eyes and stared up at them, silently continuing to scream out for help.

Michael ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. “So, what the hell do we do?”

Ryan moved forward and crouched down in front of the man. He tilted his head as he looked over his features, trying to see if he could hint a lie in those eyes. “First of all,” he spoke, getting the man to stiffen. “Tell us your name.”

The man took a deep, shaky breath, and nodded once. “Aaron,” he sounded hushed, but Ryan could tell he wasn't doing it on purpose. “M-my name is Aaron Marquis.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the other song was the one Michael and Gavin danced to in the memory part in the beginning. It was "[I swear](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2LZdhZwqrY)" by All-4-One.


	16. Chapter 16

“Are you really suggesting we just take him in?” Ryan asked Jack, his tone hushed, because even though they were standing off to the side and away from _Aaron_ , they didn't need him hearing anything.

“He said he won't stick around long; he just needs help getting back on his feet... literally,” Jack answered, glancing back at the poor guy still on his knees and struggling to keep himself balanced. “We can't just leave him out of here like that.”

Michael rolled his eyes, hearing that last part. He turned his body towards the two, “I vote we do.”

“Me too,” Ray added.

“Thank you, Ray and Michael,” Ryan said.

Barbara furrowed her eyebrows as she looked around at all of them. “Are you serious? I know helping just anyone might not be the smartest idea, but...” she stepped closer to them to avoid having Aaron listen in on what else she had to say, “but he's weak and who knows what will happen to him if we just leave him. I don't need that guilt.” _I have enough of that already_ , she thought to herself, because she couldn't bring herself to say that out loud.

“Exactly,” Jack nodded.

“Oh, we won't know if anything bad happens to him after tonight,” Ryan nonchalantly said, shrugging a shoulder.

“ _Ryan_ ,” Barbara and Jack hissed.

The blonde then turned to Michael and squinted her eyes. “I'm surprised you're against helping him.”

Michael forced himself to look away to avoid that cold stare she was giving him. Barbara threw her hands up and walked over to Aaron.

“Ryan, you may act like the leader of this group, and I'll admit, you're good at leading, but you aren't the official leader,” she bent down in front of Aaron and gently tapped the small wound he had on the side of his forehead. Aaron groaned quietly in response and Barbara smiled apologetically, “Therefore, Ryan, we're helping Aaron whether you, Ray, and Michael like it or not.”

Gavin quickly moved away from behind Miles and Arryn to sit back where he had originally been as soon as he saw Ray and Michael heading back. Miles turned around when he heard Ray and Michael climb on board, and he looked at them questioningly, waiting for the answers to his unspoken queries. Neither man gave him an answer. But Barbara and Jack were slowly making their way to the back, holding up Aaron together and as soon as they were at the back, Miles, Arryn, and Gavin turned their heads to look at them.

“Who's this?” Gavin was the only one to ask.

“His name is Aaron,” Barbara answered, flashing the other Arryn a soft smile. Arryn merely raised her eyebrows in response.

Gavin looked over at Michael who was sitting back in his spot and he frowned, because Michael was practically just looking right through him as though he wasn't there at all. Miles rushed to the doors and helped Barbara and Jack get Aaron inside, which ended up being a difficultly slow process. Aaron was in no shape to be moving around so much and trying to lift himself up into the van only further proved that, even with help.

Ryan glanced at the back through the rear view mirror and shook his head, but he faced forward again quickly before any of them could notice him staring. Once Aaron was inside, they set him down against the wall of the van and Jack began to search for his emergency kit in the pile.

“Since you're going to be back here, I think I'm moving up front to sit next to Ryan,” Ray said as he hoped back off the van. Jack nodded at him and Gavin got to his knees to close the doors while Ray made his way up to the passenger's side.

Ryan side glanced him as he got inside. “Nice of you to join me,” he simply said.

Ray sighed quietly. “Didn't want you to get lonely.”

There was a pause from Ryan and Ray almost wanted to say something else to break the sudden uncomfortable silence, but then the man spoke again.

“Are they all settled back there?”

“Yeah,” Ray told him. “Let's get going.”

Ryan turned the vehicle back on and reached his hand over to Ray's that was resting on top of the glove compartment. Without a second thought, he gave Ray's hand a gentle squeeze.

 

* * *

 

“Do you think anyone followed you?” Barbara eventually questioned Aaron as she helped assist Jack, but Jack was doing well with cleaning up some of Aaron's wounds on his own.

Aaron shook his head. “No. No one followed. I ran and they let me. I think they were expecting me to just drop dead somewhere.” He swallowed thickly after saying that, almost shuddering at the thought. “You have no idea how lucky I feel. I... I just-” he closed his eyes and Barbara patted his shoulder, whispering to him to relax.

He took a deep breath and nodded, but he kept his eyes shut, because the urge to sleep was becoming overwhelming. When was the last time he even slept? He had been kept awake for so long, forced to keep guard, and that mixed with what they did to him just made his sleep deprived body no longer resist to give in to sleep.

Jack mouthed at Barbara to hand him something else and when she finally figured out what he was going on about, she dug into the small box. Gavin tried looking away from the three, but he couldn't. His eyes kept lingering on Aaron, watching as his wounds slowly began to look a little better the more Jack worked on them. Every now and then, they would hit a bump in the road and Aaron would wince at the slight jump it would make them all do, and Gavin would grimace, able to sort of imagine the pain the man was in.

After the fifth bump and fifth groan from Aaron, Gavin couldn't take it anymore. He crawled his way over to Michael who'd been dozing off a bit but was clearly failing to actually fall asleep. Falling asleep in the car was never something Michael could easily do.

“Please don't be angry with me,” Gavin barely whispered to him.

Michael blinked hard and stared at him with hooded eyes, yet he said nothing.

“Michael, I'm sorry,” Gavin continued, “Everything I did – walking out on you – I will _never_ forgive myself for that. I could never forgive myself for ruining something amazing...”

Michael raised an eyebrow and looked away. Gavin bit down on his lower lip, thinking of something else to say to him. He also had to look away, because it was getting harder to say anything in front of his face.

“I'm not expecting you to forgive me, but I hope you don't hate me forever-”

“I don't even hate you a little,” Michael said, taking him by surprise and instantly shutting him up. Gavin could _feel_ Michael's burning gaze on him, though he didn't dare look back, in fear of the vulnerability that was plastered over his face features, and the last thing he wanted was Michael seeing that.

“Oh,” was all he choked out quietly. He wasn't going to lie, though – he was beyond relieved.

He heard Michael sigh and that was that. When he finally did look up, he found Michael with his eyes closed for another attempt at sleep. He decided not to bother him further, so he scooted back to his spot near the back doors and brought his knees up to his chin to rest his head on them.

None of them were sure of where they were headed to, so a nap was probably the best solution. If Gavin had to take a good guess on what time it was, he would assume just passed midnight. His eyes were sure asking for some rest and his stomach was roaring its begs for the food it never got that evening, yet the actual thought of eating something made him ill. Geoff had prepared that food. The man had prepared practically all their meals since he joined the group.

It made him sick, because Geoff had pushed him out of the way. Geoff had saved him. And death is what he got in return.

Gavin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head in hopes of shaking the memory from replaying over in his mind. It didn't work.

No one had read any signs indicating which direction they were going in. Ryan paid no mind to any that he drove by, but by the time they were exiting a downtown and nearing a neighborhood, the van gave in and stopped from lack of gas. Ryan wanted to curse under his breath, but the fact that they had at least made it somewhere decent instead of ending up stuck in the middle of nowhere was cause for his short lived relief.

Looking around from inside, he noticed how empty and deserted it all appeared. Well, any city and town they'd encountered so far had looked this way – just completely wiped out of all civilization, almost as if there was never any people there to begin with.

Swallowing down the slight uneasiness, he gently shook Ray until he woke. Ray was struggling with opening his eyes and keeping them open, but when he managed to do so, he frowned to find that it was still dark out. He could make out the silhouettes of tall buildings and smaller ones in the distance.

“Where the hell are we?” He asked, rubbing his face with his hands.

“I don't know; I wasn't paying attention, but we can't go anywhere else now,” Ryan answered him. “We're on empty.”

“You're saying we're gonna have to stay in a _city_ until we find some gas?”

“Maybe it'll only be for a night... we've down that before. We can just sleep in this van until morning and-”

“Or we can find another place to sleep in,” Ray shrugged. “Those are houses up ahead, right? Why not look around?”

Ryan pursed his lips a little as he considered this. There was honestly not much harm in going with that. He was sure everyone missed the feeling of sleeping in an actual bed... he knew he did, a little more than he thought. Really the only danger was the houses could be littered with _those_ creatures. With the amount of people they had, combined with their skills, cleaning out a house shouldn't prove too difficult, though.

With a sigh, he nodded and opened the car door. “Let's go tell the others.”

“We're risking losing this van,” Ray reminded him. “Someone can come by, fill it up and leave while we're asleep. Are you prepared in case that happens?”

“You're the one that suggested finding a place.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm _all_ for it, but I'm just warning you.”

Ryan looked at the steering wheel and nodded again, quicker this time. “Can we hurry up before I change my mind?”

Ray had never gotten out of a car so fast before. Ryan followed suit and they both headed to the back. Together, they opened the double doors, revealing the sight of everyone fast asleep – Gavin curled up to himself, Jack sitting up against the wall with his head pressed back and his emergency kit in lap, Aaron right next to him with his wounds completely cleaned up and protected, and he certainly seemed less in pain this way. Barbara was sleeping with her head on Arryn's shoulder while Arryn's was on Miles'. Miles was actually using Ryan's backpack as a pillow and Michael was using Geoff's which made Ray avert his eyes a moment.

Since Gavin was the closest, Ryan reached out and patted his knee until the Brit stirred.

“Rise and shine,” Ryan basically sang.

Ray smirked at this and climbed into the van to start waking up Michael. Ryan did so as well, though he was heading for Jack instead.

“Hey, Michael,” Ray softly spoke as he bent down in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Michael,” he shook him repeatedly and it wasn't even too long after that Michael's brown eyes were meeting his own. The corners of Ray's lips rose up crookedly, “Come on, let's go find ourselves a house.”

Michael blinked, his eyebrows twitching together. Part of him wanted to make a joke to that and he opened his mouth to attempt to, but his lack of energy made it feel impossible. So he simply nodded and got to his feet to stretch and put on Geoff's backpack, ignoring his own that was resting in the pile. Gavin was standing now, too, and for a second, he and Michael did lock eyes. Gavin was the one to break the contact and Michael shook his head, making his way over to him. He nudged him gently before jumping off the van. Gavin was tempted to smile at the familiar gesture, the one Michael had always done when he had wanted Gavin to follow him, but the Brit was a little unsure what it meant now. He watched from where he still stood in the van as Michael made his way off to the side and crossed his arms to wait for everyone else to get out.

Gavin supposed to that nudge wasn't a “Come with me” gesture this time, rather it was a reminder of what Michael had said to him earlier. Jack was the next to get off the van, but he turned around as Aaron and Barbara approached the edge. Aaron had an arm swung around Barbara's neck as she helped him stay up on his feet. Gavin sighed as he stepped in to help and Barbara raised her eyebrows.

“What?” Gavin mumbled, grabbing Aaron's other arm and putting it around his neck. “I can't help?”

Barbara narrowed her eyes at him, but she didn't respond. Neither did Aaron. Admittedly, he appreciated all the help from as many people. It only made getting off the damn van an easier task. As they started to step off with him, Jack was down to assist with the rest. Miles, Arryn, Ray, and Ryan waited patiently behind, carrying everyone's belongings in their arms until those three were safely off the van before hopping off as well and shutting the doors.

“So, what exactly are we doing?” asked Arryn.

“Looking for a house,” Ryan stated, feigning such excitement in his tone, but the ghost of a smile on his lips was there.

Michael looked up at the sky to find the stars were getting less visible. The sun would surely start to rise soon enough. He felt a presence standing in front of him and he lowered his gaze to find Ray holding out his knife to him.

“Oh, yeah thanks,” Michael breathed out, taking it from him.

“No problem,” Ray merely smiled at him once more and turned to Ryan.

As soon as everyone had what they needed and were sure they weren't forgetting anything, they went on their way down the street that led into one of the first neighborhoods in this city... whatever city this was. Some of them made a mental note of figuring that out first thing when they woke up, others couldn't care less.

Ray and Ryan were mainly leading, staying up in front of group. Jack and Barbara were closely behind with Aaron. Michael was slowly following them while Miles, Arryn, and Gavin were way in the back, cautiously checking their surroundings.

“Can you guys believe it?” Miles' question came in a hushed tone. Gavin and Arryn turned their heads to face him. “We're actually going to stay in a house... a _house._.. with _beds_.”

Arryn's lips curled up. Not only could she hear the delight in his voice, she could feel it radiating off of him, something she hadn't felt in months. “I feel like I'm dreaming,” she told him.

“Better cherish it while we can, because something tells me we won't be here too long,” Gavin absentmindedly spoke.

Miles rolled his eyes and said, “Don't think that way, Gavin. This is a good thing. Let's keep it a good thing and not think so negatively. It's been a rough... day _and_ night, but we can have _some_ peace now. Let's not ruin it.”

“I'm not trying to ruin it, Miles, but I'm not going to stop thinking realistically.”

“You think I'm not?” Miles squinted his eyes at him. “I've been doing nothing but that,” he still kept his voice low enough for no one else to hear, “Happiness is a reality too, you know? Yeah it's usually the thing that doesn't feel like it lasts, but it can happen, and if someone loses it, they can regain it. Don't forget that.” He peeked over at Michael walking farther ahead of them and added, “You found Michael when you were scared you wouldn't. Wasn't your happiness restored then?”

“Yeah, but look at us now,” Gavin said, gesturing towards the distance between him and Michael.

“That doesn't mean you should give up,” Arryn remarked, though she didn't look at Gavin when he looked at her.

Miles had also stopped talking and the three of them walked in silence, making sure they didn't get too far behind everyone else. Gavin frowned as he looked down at his own pendant.

 

* * *

 

_As instructed, Gavin closed his eyes, but he grinned as he felt Michael walk up behind him. He heard something chime a little and he furrowed his eyebrows._

“ _What are you doing-” though he cut himself off when something cold touched his neck and seemed to fall into place around it._

“ _Okay, you can open your eyes now,” Michael said, taking a step back._

_Gavin did as he was told and looked down to find the green Creeper pendant resting against his chest. His grin tugged at the corners of his lips again and he turned around to face his best friend – his_ wonderful _and_ adorable _best friend. Michael reached down his shirt and pulled out a diamond pendant, one that matched Gavin's._

“ _I saw these and I guess I just couldn't fucking resist,” Michael told him, smiling innocently._

_Something inside him told him not to, but before he could really listen to that voice, Gavin was grabbing Michael's face and leaning in until their lips were pressed against each other. Michael's eyes widened and for a moment, he let his hands hover over Gavin's wrists, unknowing whether or not this was a good idea. He wasn't kissing back and he knew Gavin was aware of that, because his movements were beginning to slow down._

_And then Gavin pulled back, heat rising to his face. Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and let out a nervous laugh._

“ _That was better than any simple 'thank you' I could have gotten,” he said softly._

_Gavin's sigh of relief was much louder than he had anticipated it to be that Michael laughed some more. “I love it, Michael. Thank you.” Slowly, he put his hands down from Michael's face and Michael nodded once before closing that small space between them to place a chaste kiss on Gavin's lips._

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny, because last chapter was originally going to be the final. Yeah, I only had this planned for 16 chapters, but as I started writing everything out, I decided I want it to be longer. I wanted everyone to be more involved instead of just Michael and Gavin, therefore, I prolonged it. It won't be THAT much longer, but definitely longer than it was going to be at first. That is also why I would take long updating this sometimes, because I was trying to work my way around to expand it without completely changing my plans too much, and I did end up finding a way. 
> 
> Anyway, I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this so far. I expect to have this completed sometime next month, mid June, especially with the rate I'm going at right now. 
> 
> If you have any questions, you can leave them down below or contact me on tumblr ([mogarsjones.tumblr.com](http://mogarsjones.tumblr.com/))
> 
> Oh, and song for the chapter is, "[Details](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnyK_aWOluI)" by Sleeperstar, for towards the end.

With the colt clutched in his hands, ready to aim and shoot at anything or anybody it needed to, Ray braced himself next to Michael as Ryan prepared to open the front door of the first house to catch everyone's interest. Jack and Barbara had decided to stay behind and wait on the lawn with Aaron while the others scoped out the house. This had caused some glares from Michael, Ray, and Ryan, but the others seemed more than okay with that.

“Alright, I'm ready; let's do this,” said Miles, lifting up the bow with an arrow ready to release.

Ryan paused and fully turned to look at him with brows furrowed. “Are you sure you know how to use that thing?”

“What's there not to know?” Miles shrugged and judging by the slight strained look on his face, the thing was a bit heavy, especially with the way he was holding it.

Ryan chose not to question him any further, though, and he turned back to the door. “Ready, Ray? Michael?” He took a deep breath and smiled softly. “Miles?”

Miles' eyes practically brightened at the sound of his name and he nodded frantically, along with the other two before adding a “Yes” simultaneously. Ryan turned the knob of the door and slowly, pushed it open. It creaked the whole way until it bumped the wall and since everyone's eyes had adjusted to the darkness around them, the darkness inside the house was no struggle for them. Ray was the first to step inside, but Michael quickly followed after him, and Miles was next. Gavin and Arryn exchanged looks. Gavin made a gesture of entering before she did, but she held her hand out in front of him, stopping him so she could go in first. Gavin wasn't complaining.

They made their way halfway into the living room, nearing the kitchen, and they all froze in their tracks.

“A few of you need to check upstairs,” Ray whispered, nodding towards the staircase in the middle of the corridor on their left.

“On it,” Miles answered, slowly stalking his way towards it. Ryan hurried to join him.

Ray turned around and noticed they had walked right passed a door – a closet perhaps, since he didn't see any windows outside that indicated it being a bedroom or bathroom. He started walking up to it, sending a glance in Michael's direction and Michael took the hint. As soon as they were standing right in front of it, Ray whispered his plan. He would stand on the right, open up the door and Michael would immediately stab whatever came out – if anything. Michael nodded to tell him he understand and Ray got into his place.

“Ready?” He mouthed. “One... two... three...” He grabbed the doorknob and threw the door open as fast as he could manage. Michael lifted his arm up and was ready to lunge forward when something did fall out onto the ground near his feet, but he had merely jumped back instead to inspect exactly what it was. Ray snorted a bit, bringing a hand up to his mouth to stifle a laugh and Michael sighed.

“I wouldn't call that dangerous, unless you have a fear of brooms.”

Ray shook his head, “Nope. Let's move on.” He picked the broom up and threw it back inside before closing the door.

Gavin and Arryn were heading down the hallway, passing the staircase. There was a door at the end and one on their left.

“We can go in together or go our separate ways and check these rooms out quicker,” Gavin suggested.

“I'll take the one at the end,” Arryn responded. “Scream if you need me,” she held up her hammer a bit higher and Gavin gulped.

“I hope I won't need you,” he mumbled.

“Me too,” she whispered back, walking up to the door. They exchanged glances again and opened the doors, stepping into the rooms at the same time.

While Gavin was greeted by nothing but a plain ole bathroom, Arryn found herself staring at one of them, leaning up against the wall near the window. It lifted its head, meeting Arryn's eye, and it let out a small growl as it began to reach out for her. Arryn raised an eyebrow as she allowed it to step closer towards, but once it was close enough, she lifted her hammer with both her hands and swung it forward. The monster's growls were shut the second her weapon made contact with the top of its head. She yanked on the hammer, trying to pull it out of the dead's skull, but it proved to be a small struggle as it did push its way deep inside, enough to become a bit stuck within. Holding her breath, she gave it one more good tug before it was set free, along with bits of the creature's rotten brain. She turned her head away quickly, closing her eyes and her mouth tightly, yet some of it did splatter across her cheek and hair.

“Well,” she pursed her lips.

Gavin rushed into the room and widened his eyes at the sight of lying on the ground. He shifted his gaze up to find the mess on the side of Arryn's face. Arryn opened her eyes and turned to him. It was then that Gavin really got a whiff of the odor in the room. He looked away as he felt himself wanting to heave.

“Not now, Gavin,” Arryn scolded, letting go of her hammer with one hand to wipe her face. “You should be used to that smell already.”

Gavin made a noise and shook his head. “Maybe a bit, but-” he paused to let out the most painful and driest gag Arryn had ever heard anyone do, “-but I was already feeling sick.” Gavin looked at her, revealing watery eyes and cheeks with a tint of pink.

“Okay, then I'll go find someone else to help me haul this sucker out,” Arryn told him.

Gavin bit down on his lower lip and stepped over the dead body to stand in front of its head. “Hurry,” he begged as he crouched down. Arryn couldn't help but smile as she placed her hammer on the bed to grab onto the creature's legs. With Gavin holding it up by the shoulders, the two started making their way out of the room.

* * *

 

The first room at the top of the staircase seemed untouched and completely cleaned – Miles knew... he checked it twice. There were three other rooms up there – a bathroom, a regular bedroom, and the master bedroom. Miles also checked the bathroom to find nothing while Ryan checked the bedroom next door. Nothing.

They headed for the master bedroom together and as Miles reached to open the door, Ryan grabbed his wrist. Having Miles' attention, Ryan let him go and held up his finger; he tapped his ear and pointed to the door. Miles leaned closer against it and listened carefully to the sounds of ruffling. There was no doubt there was something behind that door and Miles readied himself and the bow again.

“It's nothing we can't handle,” Ryan reminded him before turning that knob and kicking the door the rest of the way open. He needed to get it done and over with swiftly in case he got hesitant.

Miles jumped in, more than ready to attack, but the sight of something running across the room, small and quick instead of tall and wobbly, his expression softened.

“Oh my god,” he breathed out.

“What the hell was _that_?” Ryan asked.

Miles lowered his weapon and stepped more into the bedroom. “It's a-” he didn't get to finish answering, because it revealed itself then.

Ryan felt his heartbeat steady as an orange fur ball made its way out from under the bed, its big glowing eyes staring up pleadingly at him. “A cat,” he stated.

“I thought I was just seeing things, because I have _not_ seen a cat or dog in so long,” Miles told him. “Too long.” He got down on its knees, keeping his distance from it as to not scare it off, and the cat's attention was turned to him now. “Hey you. How have you been surviving this long in here?”

Ryan blinked and looked up, “I _don't_ think that cat belonged to whoever lived here.”

“What do you mean?” Miles questioned, reaching a hand out in an attempt to pet the small animal's head.

“Window's open,” Ryan answered, sauntering over to it to close it. “The cat must have made its way in here through there and has been surviving by searching for food outside.”

The cat seemed frightened, its fur beginning to poof up more, but it didn't try hiding or running off when Miles gently touched him.

“Can we keep him?”

Ryan ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. “We barely have any food to feed ourselves...”

“Well, nobody's taking cat food from stores, so maybe I can try getting some for him.”

“So it's a male cat?”

Miles paused his petting and tilted his head. The cat was still scared, but definitely less than it was a few moments ago. Miles set his bow down and reached out to it with both hands. It hid back under the bed a little, yet Miles grabbed it in time, lifting it out and up into his arms. Ryan approached the pair with slow steps and a wider smile spread across his face as he heard the words of endearment.

“Hey there, little kitty,” Miles cooed, “Who's a cute little fella? _You_.” He lifted the cat up and turned it around before gasping quietly. “Yep, definitely a male.” And he set the cat down into his lap to continue stroking his fur.

“It doesn't have a collar, so he needs a name, but I'll leave it to everyone else to help me decide that.”

Ryan nodded. “Alright, well, how about we head downstairs and let them know that it's clear up here?”

“It was very clear, wasn't it? It was easier than I thought.”

“Yeah and if I'm being honest, that has me a little suspicious.”

“Why?” Miles looked up at the man with a raised eyebrow. “We got lucky. Let's relish in it.”

“A little _too_ lucky.”

“Oh, great. You sound just like Gavin.”

Ryan took a step back and crossed his arms as he stared intently at Miles still on his knees. He wanted to question what he had meant by that statement, but then decided it didn't really matter. So with a pat on Miles' head, he started his way out of the bedroom and Miles was quick to get on his feet, cat cradled in his arms.

* * *

 

Ray was in the middle of inspecting the cabinets in the kitchen while Michael dug into the refrigerator when they both heard hushed curses. They backed away from what they were doing and looked at each other questioningly.

“Gavin, we're almost there, so _shut the fuck up_ ,” Arryn's voice clearly came to their ears in a whisper.

Ray wandered over to the archway that led into the kitchen to see what was going on and he found himself almost running right into the body Gavin and Arryn were carrying. “Oh, god,” he shrieked, turning away. “That's a... hmm, yeah, that's an old one.”

Gavin managed to let out another straggled heave. “Don't remind me,” he whined.

Michael joined Ray's side a few seconds later and raised his eyebrows at the sight. Gavin caught his breath in his throat when he noticed Michael, and he even stopped moving, much to Arryn's annoyance.

“Gavin, _please_ ,” she urged and then looked towards the two boys watching them. “Can one of you open the front door for us?”

“Yep,” Ray nodded, jogging up ahead of them.

Gavin swallowed roughly, reminding himself how desperate he was for some water right now. He started walking again and the amount of willpower it took not to glance back at Michael – who he knew was still watching – was astonishing.

Michael did watch all the way up until Arryn, the body, and Gavin were passed the threshold. Ray had also followed them out, but Michael remained in his place.

_Meow._

He blinked hard. Had he just heard that correctly or was his mind playing some sort of trick on him?

_Meow._

No, that was very much real. Michael scratched his head, looking around him on the ground of any trace of where that came from, but his question was answered as soon as Miles spoke.

“Don't worry, I got you.”

Michael lifted his head to find Miles walking down the stairs with Ryan behind him. What caught his attention the most, though, was the orange cat Miles was holding.

“Where the hell did you find that?” He asked, pointing at it now that Miles was on the same level as him.

“Upstairs in the master bedroom,” Ryan responded. “The window was open, so he must have found climbed in from there.”

“Yeah, look,” Miles said, holding the cat up to Michael, “Isn't he cute?” Michael leaned back slightly, eyebrows squeezing together as he and the cat began to have some kind of staring contest with each other.

“What? You don't like cats?”

“No, uh, they're cute... but are you sure it's safe?” Michael asked, moving his attention to Miles' face.

Miles sighed deeply and put the cat away from Michael, back into his arms. “It's a _house_ _cat,_ Michael, not a lion.”

“Well, whatever,” Michael grumbled. “I'm sure Gavin will love it. If anyone's a cat person, it's him... and Lindsay, for sure,” though those last words were barely audible.

“Who?” asked Miles.

Michael shook his head and brought his hand up to pet the cat's head gently. “Nothing,” he said.

Ryan went ahead outside to let everyone know that the house now seemed out of harm's way; it was suitable to live in. Barbara and Jack helped Aaron onto his feet and entered inside first. Gavin and Arryn only made it a little down the street before tossing the body aside. Their walk back to the house as mostly occupied by Gavin going on and on about how much he missed showers, because he needed one now more than ever. Arryn merely told him to lighten up, it wasn't so bad, and it certainly could have been worse.

Ray had went back inside with Ryan and they were all just waiting for Arryn and Gavin to return, but once they did, they gathered around in the center.

“Okay, there are three bedrooms upstairs – two average sized rooms and a master bedroom,” Ryan explained, “And then there is one down here at the end of the hall,” he pointed in its direction.

“Yeah, but it reeks,” Gavin grimaced.

Ignoring him, Ryan continued speaking, “One of the bedrooms upstairs does have two beds, the one at the top only has one bed but it looks big enough to share as does, of course, the master one.”

“How about Miles and I share the room with two beds, but we share a bed so Barbara can take the other one?” Arryn suggested, looking back and forth between the two.  “The cat can sleep in there too.”

 “I don't mind,” Miles answered.

“Sounds good to me,” Barbara smiled softly.

“That room is taken care of, then. How about the master bedroom? Who will share that one?” Ryan asked.

“I'll be one of them,” Ray said, raising his hand.

Michael was opening to his mouth to say he would be the second, but he was cut off by Ryan saying it first.

“Okay, then I'll share with you.”

It was almost comical how wide Ray's eyes went at the sound of that. He whipped his head to face Ryan for a further answer, but he didn't get anything but a sincere smile.

“I'll take the room down here,” Jack spoke up, then he grinned at Gavin, “So that _somebody_ won't have to.” The Brit wrinkled up his nose, although, he was silently thankful.

“I'm guessing Michael and Gavin will take the first one at the top of the staircase then?” Ryan asked, turning to look at the two who were purposely keeping Jack between them.

Something tugged Gavin from inside his chest and he averted his eyes, completely unsure of how to respond to that. Did he say “no”? But what if Michael was offended by that? In truth, he wasn't appalled by the idea, obviously not, but he just didn't know what Michael wanted. He just tried to prepare himself for the worst.

Michael licked his chapped lips and glanced at Gavin before back at Ryan. Well, it was either share a room and a _bed_ with Gavin or... with Aaron. He knew nothing about Aaron, had only met him a few hours earlier, so having to sleep with him was out of the question. So, he cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes,” he managed to croak out.

Gavin looked up and gaped at him. Michael tried his best to pretend he couldn't see him. _Please stop looking at me like that, Gavin._

“That leaves Aaron sleeping on the couch,” Ryan spoke, breaking whatever awkwardness was starting to build up. They all turned their attention to the newcomer who was already sitting on said couch.

Aaron flashed them a weak smile and a nod. “I wouldn't want anything more, especially since I'm not going to be staying here long. Thank you for helping me out at all.”

Now it was Barbara's turn to speak. Her smile was more fond than anyone else's could have been towards the man. “I'm happy you're much better.”

Aaron shifted his gaze to Jack and took a deep breath. “I appreciate everything you did for me,” he all but whispered.

“Just... try not to get into any trouble next time,” Jack told him. “You might not find a group or a person that is willing to help.”

“I understand.”

“Well, since that's all settled, how about we go and get comfortable in our rooms?” Ryan asked. He was the first to make his way up the stairs and, after regaining himself, Ray went after him.

Miles, Arryn, and Barbara were next while Jack headed down the hall to his room. Gavin wanted to wish Jack a “good luck”, but now being somewhat alone with Michael, he couldn't find words to speak. Michael rolled his eyes, seeing that Gavin wasn't going to move until he did, so he stepped forward and made his way up the steps. Gavin hesitated a moment before simply following.

Since Michael had gotten into the room first, Gavin gently closed the door behind him once he was also inside. But at first, all he wanted to do was continue facing the door, unable to rid of the tension he felt in the air. Michael allowed himself to fall back onto the bed after tossing his own and Geoff's backpack in the corner. He kicked his shoes off and sighed contently at how good that felt. When the hell was the last time he took those damn things off? He looked toward Gavin still standing by the door and staring at it. He was going to say something about it, but it was as if the Brit could sense it coming, because he turned around and walked to the other side of the bed.

Michael scooted over a bit, making sure Gavin had enough room to rest in without them being too close to one another. Gavin rested his head down on the pillow, facing Michael's back, and he frowned. Physically, this was the _most_ comfortable he had felt in forever, but emotionally, he couldn't feel any less uncomfortable.

“We can make the best of this, you know,” he spoke, attempting to sound casual and not like his heart was racing in his chest, not like his palms were sweaty.

Michael scoffed. “We _are_ making the best out of it. I mean, what's so fucking bad about sharing a bed with your ex?” _Ex._ There it was. The word Gavin had been dreading to hear, even though, that was what they were, right? They were exes, no longer together. Michael had made that clear in the woods.

Yet, actually hearing it come from his mouth stung more than Gavin could ever imagine. The Brit rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't do this. _God,_ he couldn't even try, not if Michael was going to act that way. Abruptly, he sat up and threw his legs over the edge.

Michael didn't want to say anything, but when Gavin came into his view by walking towards the door, he had to ask, “Where are you going?”

Gavin paused and curled his fingers into tight fists as he turned around. “I'm making this easy for us by going to sleep somewhere else. Maybe I can squeeze into bed with Ray and Ryan.”

“Gavin,” Michael huffed.

“Michael.”

“You don't _have_ to leave.”

“I think I do,” Gavin turned back to the door but was stopped again by Michael speaking.

“Sure,” Michael nodded, lifting himself up a little, “Go ahead and leave. It's what you do best, right?”

“No, Michael, it _isn't._ I already told you why and everything that happened-” He was cut off by the sound of Michael laughing, so cold and humorlessly. It was enough to make him look back over his shoulder.

“You left me because you _almost_ cheated on me and you felt _guilty_ ,” Michael told him and there was a smile on his face, and it was anything but sweet. “How is that any better than just cheating on me? You might as well have just done it.”

Gavin glared at him, spinning around to face him better. “I _love_ you, Michael. I know what I did was awful and that I'm just an awful person, but I hope you do know that I _do_ love you. I'll _always_ love you. That's something that can't ever change.”

Michael shook his head and looked away, but Gavin wasn't done.

“I told you, I don't expect you to forgive me,” he was stepping closer to the bed as he talked, “but I hate the thought of you believing that I stopped caring for you, even for a second. I never did stop-”

“Then _why_ would you try going home with someone else?” Michael practically growled at him, a different kind of fiery in his eyes. “You weren't stopping yourself there. Your best friend had to knock the sense back into you. Oh, and _don't_ you even think about using the 'I was drunk' excuse-” he had to quickly add that in when he saw Gavin opening his mouth to speak and Gavin immediately shut it, “-drunk or not, you should have known better. I've been able to stop myself from doing some stupid shit when I've been drunk off my ass _without_ Lindsay's help.”

Gavin halted in his tracks as soon as he was just mere feet away from Michael. He was rolling his shoulders and bouncing a bit on his toes in hopes that he could come up with something to say back. Michael let out a frustrated sigh and lied back down.

“I told you I don't hate you and I don't, I couldn't if I tried,” his voice was soft now and Gavin looked at him. “I'm just... imagine being let down by the one of the few people you felt you could trust without any doubt and then realizing, you were wrong.”

Gavin closed his eyes, because he didn't think it was possible for his heart to throb any more painfully. “I'm sorry,” he choked out.

“Just get in bed, Gavin. We both need some sleep, even if we don't want to. I need to get these past twenty-four hours behind me already. I'm done with them,” with that, Michael shut his eyes tightly.

“You're saying... you want me to stay?” Gavin tried, though he wanted to slap himself after it came out of his mouth. What the hell kind of question was that during a time like this?

And Michael's sudden silence only proved what a mistake it was. Or perhaps... it wasn't. Michael didn't open his eyes to look him in his, but he did inhale sharply and said, “Yes, I want you to  _stay_.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

Ryan held open the door for Ray to walk into the room first. This seemed like something Ray would usually roll his eyes and poke fun at, but with the way Ryan was staring at him – softest smile gracing his features – he couldn't find it within him to do anything but take this seriously.

“Thank you,” he said, entering the room and scanning every inch he could instantly see of it. “I'm, uh, surprised you actually wanted to share a room with me. I mean, we're going to be _sleeping_ in the same bed together... with _no one_ else around,” and he had to grin at his own words, because he couldn't even go through with this, even as a joke.

Ryan shook his head, though his smile remained. “You like to lighten the mood by being funny, don't you?”

Ray took a deep breath as he thought about what to say for an answer. He shrugged. “I don't know. I just... say what comes to mind. If it's funny, it's funny. If it's not, well,” he scoffed.

Ryan was quiet for a moment, like he was really considering what Ray had just said to him, but then he was smiling again – brighter than usual. “I like that about you,” and it was a simple, flat statement, not wanting a response from Ray after that, at least not on that particular subject.

Especially since, the next that came out of his mouth was a different question, “Which side do you want to take?”

Ray slumped his shoulders, sighing a little, but he swallowed hard and answered, “Uh, you take the left side, so you can protect me in case someone breaks in through the door.”

“What? I have to take the attack while you get off free of harm?”

“Hey, we can both get off free from harm if you're quick enough,” Ray was grinning again as he pulled back the covers to get in.

Ryan did the same and sat down to take his shoes off first. Ray felt even too tired for that, so he lied back, his head instantly hitting the pillow in such a blissful way. After months of having to sleep on the hard ground with only a jacket or some thin blanket as something to rest his head on, being on this bed now felt like real peace. He could have closed his eyes then and there and fall into a lovely sleep, but then he was quick to remember... he wasn't alone. His eyes went wide as he turned his head to the left to see his bed mate getting himself snuggled under the covers.

Ryan was ready to roll over so that his back would be to Ray's, but he noticed Ray's stare and locked eyes with him instead. Ray's eyes shut the second the stare was returned and he buried his face a little into the pillow. If anyone could be fooled, it wasn't Ryan – not even in the slightest. He smiled at the “sleeping” Ray before he rolled over. Ray peeked at him with one eye and sighed very quietly through his nose.

 

* * *

 

There was only so much moving around in bed one could endure before they had to face the fact that... they weren't going to be falling asleep anytime soon. And that's Barbara realized after the twentieth time she tried closing her eyes. She looked over at her friends already fast asleep together in the bed on the other side of the room. The cat Miles had found was also at peace in his sleep near the window. Everyone was apparently asleep and fine, except for Barbara.

She groaned and threw the covers off herself so she could get up and out of the bed. She wasn't sure what she planned on doing – there wasn't really anywhere she could go – but she just needed to get out of the room for a moment. Being sure not to wake anyone, she turned the door knob and pulled the door open. The hallway was covered in total darkness with only the slightest moonlight coming from a window downstairs in the kitchen. It was enough to light up her way down the steps.

She closed the door behind her after stepping out and went on her way. Walking by the first room, she froze in her tracks and furrowed her eyebrows.

“No... stop...”

Barbara turned around to stare at the door that led to Gavin and Michael's room, and she listened carefully. And there was not another sound. Perhaps she'd been hearing things. The words had sounded very soft anyway, so yes, it had to be her imagination. With a shrug, she turned back to the staircase and made her down it. As her feet reached the bottom floor, she found herself gasping and jumping back at the sudden “Who's there?!” was called out.

“... Barbara?” The voice said and Barbara breathed out a laugh when she recognized it to be Aaron's.

“Yes, it's me,” she whispered back. “Thanks for scaring the crap out of me.” She walked ahead until she reached the couch where Aaron was lying on, though he was sitting up.

“I didn't mean to,” he explained, “but it's been complete silence in this house since you all went to your rooms, and I didn't hear any doors opening, so...”

“Well, you have to learn to be as quiet as possible these days.”

Aaron smiled up at her and nodded towards the sofa next to the couch. “I'm guessing you can't sleep?”

Barbara sat herself down on that sofa and shook her head. “I don't know why. I _am_ tired, but...” she puffed her cheeks and let the air out slowly. “Don't know.” Aaron merely nodded in response, so she turned the question to him.

“Uh, I did go to sleep for a little while,” he told her, “except I just woke up and can't seem to fall back asleep again. My entire body feeling sore doesn't help either.”

Barbara licked her lips and averted her eyes, “Don't worry. Jack says you should be good before you know it.”

“Oh, yeah. That guys... he knows his stuff, doesn't he? Was he a doctor or something before all of this?”

The corners of Barbara's mouth rose. “I actually don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me. I never asked him when I first joined and I still haven't bothered. Well, when I joined, I was in a similar situation as you.”

Aaron widened his eyes at this and she looked up just in time to see it, which caused her to laugh lightly.

“Not as bad,” she corrected herself, “but yeah, I was kind of in pain, and I ran into him, Ray, Miles, and Arryn. I didn't expect them to help me; I honestly just wanted to get away from _everyone,_ but Jack insisted, and when your energy level is lower than it has ever been, it's easy to give in. He helped me out and... here I am,” she smiled some more. “I actually don't know if I'd be okay now if it weren't for them. I mean, I wasn't in a _terrible_ condition, but who knows... other people could have came along and taken what little I had, and they would have been successful.”

Aaron picked himself up more, wincing a little, but he spoke, “Do you mind me asking what happened to you?”

“Hmm, well, considering we rescued you, I think you should be the one telling _me_ what happened to _you_ before I even think about telling you anything else.”

An exhausted laugh escaped Aaron as he nodded, “You're right...” but then his face fell into something serious, “I did mention to you guys that I was trying to protect someone and I _was,_ and our leader... well, he turned out to be worse than I thought. I always had a bad feeling about him, but my friend kept telling me no, that I was just being paranoid. I guess I ended up being right and it's one of those times when you _wish_ you were wrong. Because when I tried backing up my friend when he got into a bit of an argument with our leader, our leader took his anger out on me. He said if I wanted to stick up for someone, then I would receive the punishments – _double_ the punishment.”

When he got a good look at Barbara's face, the moonlight illuminating her face perfectly enough for him to see every detail, even in the darkened living room, he could see the fear and disgust on her features. It was a mixture of expressions that made something in his stomach turn, because he felt the same way as he thought back to the event.

 _Fear_ of how far his leader was going to take it and _disgust_ at the fact that _that_ was what he was getting for standing up to him for the first time.

He shifted his gaze to the floor and was surprised when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking back up, he saw Barbara had reached over to place her hand there.

“It's like instead of trying to help what little of us are still alive, instead of helping us move along together to rebuild, they'd rather keep destroying and make _more_ of a mess,” she said, a tone so cold.

Aaron took a deep breath and exhaled softly. He couldn't agree more.

 

* * *

 

“No... stop...”

Gavin felt himself waking up slowly and he whined, bringing his hands up to rub his eyes before opening them.

“Stop...” he heard again, pained and horrified, but hushed.

“Michael?” He called, forcing his eyelids open to look at the man lying next to him.

Michael was lying on his back, still asleep it seemed, but Gavin sat himself up when he realized Michael sounded as though he was gasping for air.

“ _Michael_ ,” Gavin spoke a little louder, grabbing him by the shoulders to start shaking him awake. “You're just having a nightmare, Michael. It's _not_ real. _Wake up_.”

 

* * *

 

“ _I said_ STOP _!” Michael shouted, shouted with all the strength he hadn't even realized he had inside. It startled himself, but he kept his determined look on his face as he waited for her to turn around to face him._

 _And she did. She had stopped walking and now, she was merely staring at him._ Thank Christ _. Michael took the opportunity to move forward toward her, his steps feeling fast but the distance terribly far. He furrowed his eyebrows and started to run and run... and run... yet she never seemed to get any closer._

“ _What the_ fuck _!” He growled, halting to a stop. “Why can't I reach you?!”_

“ _You have to find me first,” she answered, her tone bland._

“ _What are you talking about? I_ did _find you. You're_ right _there,” he pointed at her._

_She tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Am I?”_

_Michael's expression softened as he blinked. “Lindsay...”_

“ _Michael!” another voice called, one he had grown to know all too well._

_He spun around and sure enough, Geoff stood on the other side of this ever growing room. “Geoff,” he breathed out in relief._

“ _Hey, buddy,” the man grinned at him._

“ _You're... you're okay,” Michael uttered, a pressure beginning to build up behind his eyes._

“ _No, he isn't,” someone else said... but it sounded like his own voice._

_He looked to his right and took a step back in shock as he was met with his reflection, except it didn't follow his movements._

“ _He's dead,” it spoke to him. “He's_ gone, _just like everyone else will be soon enough, and you'll be_ all _alone.”_

_Michael swallowed roughly and shook his head frantically, yet he couldn't find it within himself to say anything._

“ _Everyone you've come to actually like will be gone before you know it – Ray, Ryan, Miles, Arryn, Barbara, Jack... oh, and_ Lindsay, _” and then his reflection smirked deviously at him, “_ Gavin _.” Michael felt his heart drop, only making the reflection feign a pout, “_ Aww _, those last two really hurt, didn't they? I mean, why should they, though? For all you know, Lindsay could already be dead... and Gavin... didn't you dump his ass?”_

“ _Fuck you,” Michael managed to say under his breath as a tear made its way down his cheek. His reflection laughed and Michael was ready to speak more of his mind when he heard his name being called again._

“ _Gavin?” He called back, looking up and all around. “Gav?!”_

“ _Better wake up before it's too late,” his reflection sarcastically said, his laughter only increasing._

* * *

 

“ _Michael_ ,” Gavin tried again and he sighed in defeat. “I _really_ hope you don't hate me for this,” he raised his hand and jumped backward when Michael gasped loudly before opening his eyes. He was barely able to catch himself from falling right off the bed, but as soon as he regained his balance and got a better look at Michael, he noticed him trembling.

 _It was just a stupid dream... just a stupid dream,_ Michael repeatedly thought to himself, and he didn't even feel when Gavin pulled him into his arms.

“Michael,” Gavin murmured against his hair.

Michael said nothing in return, but he stared straight ahead, his eyes widening as he noticed the small mirror on the wall next to the closet. And he caught his reflection staring back. _It was just a stupid dream... See, Gavin's okay... Gavin's okay, but..._

“Geoff,” he choked out. “ _Geoff_.”

Gavin's eyebrows twitched together as he pulled back to look Michael in the eyes. “Michael?”

Michael moved his attention to Geoff's backpack that was still in the corner. Abruptly, he stood up, practically knocking Gavin over, and the Brit just watched as Michael bent down next to the item before unzipping the first pocket.

That was probably the biggest mistake he could have done, because as he reached inside and pulled out a Red Bull, he recalled why it was in there at all. And he let it drop from his grip as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the backpack. Gavin stuck out his lower lip slightly as he started to hear quiet whimpers. He had never felt as hopeless as he did in that moment, sitting there as the love of his life cried into a backpack of their deceased friend, but he knew if he tried going over to comfort him he would only be kicked aside.

So he remained where he was on the bed, the ache in his chest increasing by the minute, and he merely looked down at his own hands.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay!! hopefully this will get back on track :)

Michael lifted his head first before finding it within himself to open up his eyes, but when he did, he squinted them. The sunlight poking through the curtains stun his eyes, making him groan and lift an arm to shield most of it until he was able to adjust to it. He blinked rapidly, allowing the room to come into view better without the help of his glasses and after a moment, he managed to see Gavin still lying on the bed across the room from him. He was still sound asleep, curled up comfortably on one side. He had probably stayed on that one side in case Michael decided to get back into bed in the middle of the night. Michael hadn't, though.

No. In fact, after a long while of letting out everything he'd been building up inside for the past day, he ended up leaning up against the wall and falling asleep there. Gavin must have fallen asleep before him, but Michael never bothered to pay attention to him... until now. Now he couldn't tear his eyes away from the peacefully sleeping man not too far from him.

It was almost incredible how much can change about a person in less than a year. The longer Michael examined Gavin, the more he noticed those changes. Gavin would be one to sometimes get a bit too lazy to care about shaving ever so often and that laziness would result in him growing a small beard, but when he was consist of shaving, he wouldn't let it get passed mere stubble. There wasn't anyway Gavin could shave now, so upon his face where smooth or slightly scratchy skin would show was hidden by the beginnings of that small beard.

And his hair... it was evident he was still keeping its length under control with either a knife or a pair of scissors he'd get his hands on, but Gavin was no professional hair stylist. His attempts at cutting his own hair proved to be sloppy, leaving it choppier and messier than Michael recalled. It was actually kind of amusing to think about. Besides that, though, Gavin had also gotten a darker tan. Not too drastic, but his skin was definitely more golden than it had been before; it almost perfectly hid the dirt marks across his arms and face.

With of all his will, Michael hauled himself up to his feet, gently placing Geoff's backpack where he had originally left it in the first place. Of course, Michael had noticed all of the many other changes Gavin had undergone, ones that weren't visible while he was asleep. Such as how his eyes, green as ever, were more filled with wisdom and a courageous nature. The playfulness that had always shined through them that Michael had easily fallen for, was very much still there, but with everything Gavin had gone through, it was a little buried behind the rest.

The way he acted was different as well – how he seemed to want to stand his ground, to stay determined and not wanting to give into anything that would break down his demeanor unless he really needed to. But if it could be prevented, it would be. Michael noticed that difference when he had encountered what had happened with... well, Geoff. Where Miles was clearly in shock and disturbed and Jack was disappointed and distressed, Ray and Gavin looked as though they were desperately trying to disguise what they were really feeling. Although, Ray did let it slip for a moment, Gavin forced himself to hold it together as much as possible throughout the entire thing. Michael figured that was something Gavin had picked up from Ray – to never let anyone see or sense a broken spirit within.

Normally, Gavin would have reacted the way Miles did, especially in the face of death, but he hadn't. That's not saying he didn't grieve Geoff's death – he did, but it wasn't acted upon as much. Michael wondered if it was mainly for his sake, because Gavin knew how the death affected him the most. So, he might have wanted to stay strong for him, or for the both of them. Michael would never ask that, though.

“Breakfast is ready!” He heard Ryan's voice call, muffled and distant behind the door and down the stairs.

Michael let his eyes linger a bit longer on Gavin before he sighed and stepped out of the room. A loud yawn made him stop halfway down the stairs and he looked up to see Miles rubbing his eyes as he walked out of his room. Michael simply continued his way down and into the kitchen, but Miles wasn't too far behind now.

“By 'breakfast', do you happen to mean eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice?” Miles asked Ryan, such hopefulness in that tone.

Ryan picked up one of the plates (one he must have found in the cabinets) and revealed pieces of bread, some strawberries that seemed to have been cut to rid of their spoiled parts, and a granola bar. That's what was on the rest of the plates set out on the kitchen island in front of them. Miles let out what sounded to be a very disappointed sigh.

“Hey, you can eat this or nothing,” Ryan firmly stated, putting the plate back down.

Miles walked up and grabbed it. “I'm hungry,” he grumbled before walking off to sit where Arryn and Barbara already were eating on the small dining table.

“Oh, hey! I found some grape juice in the refrigerator – seems good enough, if you want any.”

“I'll have some,” Arryn called back.

“Me too,” Barbara added.

“I'm good with water,” Miles answered.

Ryan nodded at them and turned to look at Michael who was picking up one of the plates. “And you?”

Michael didn't look up at him as he responded, “I'll settle for water, but thanks.” Ryan would have let him be, except he felt compelled to keep talking to him, especially with how down and quiet he had sounded.

“Okay, well, how did you sleep?”

Michael paused from moving as he thought back to the night before. For a minute there Ryan thought he had gotten completely lost in his thoughts, so he was ready to snap him out of it, but then Michael met his eye.

“Can't complain,” he blandly said, walking away without giving Ryan another chance to say anything else.

But Ryan did watch him go, thinking he would join the others at the table. Of course, Michael didn't. Instead, he walked all the way into the living room and sat down on one of the sofas.

Aaron was still sitting on the couch and he glanced up at Michael when he felt a presence near him. “Oh, uh... good morning,” he greeted, attempting his best at a warm smile. His lips were making it a little difficult to do so, considering how dry and bruised they remained.

“Sure,” Michael mumbled, taking a bite out of his piece of bread. His eyebrows then furrowed when he noticed Aaron empty handed. “You're not eating?”

Aaron shook his head, “I'm already taking up enough space as is; I don't want to take food, too.” At that, Michael rolled his eyes and Aaron almost wondered if he had said the wrong thing.

“You're not taking up space at all,” Michael told him. “Trust me.” The look on his face seemed to cool down then, “Oh, um... I'm sorry.”

Aaron blinked. “For?”

“For trying to vote against helping you out.”

“Oh,” Aaron laughed softly, “Yeah, don't worry about it; it could have been worse.”

Michael chewed down on his lower lip as he contemplated something, but as he came to a conclusion, he held out his plate to Aaron. “Take the bar,” he insisted. Really, _insisted._ Aaron couldn't help but feel like there was no way around that, yet he tried.

“No, no, it's okay-”

“Just _take_ it.”

Aaron had tried and failed. He reached out and gently took the granola bar off Michael's plate, giving him a nod as soon as he held it completely in his hand.

“Now eat it,” Michael practically demanded, like a mother scolding their child for not wanting to eat their vegetables. Again, Aaron laughed, but he did begin to do as he was told. And Michael smiled – genuinely smiled. It didn't reach his eyes, no not even close, but it was there, and as sweet as can be. It felt a bit odd, too, like the muscles in his face had almost forgotten _how_ to do the movement, or at least how it felt.

As Aaron continued to eat, Michael moved his attention to his plate to go on eating as well, all while Gavin stood at the end of the staircase, staring intently at both of them with an eyebrow raised.

 

* * *

 

“You know, you can stop running into my back anytime now,” Ray said as he turned around to come _very_ closely face-to-face with Miles, but Miles wasn't looking at him, otherwise the proximity would have been uncomfortable.

Miles was too indulged with staring in one direction of the street, his bow raised and his quiver slung over his shoulder. He was ready for anything... or so it looked.

“Sorry,” he whispered back to Ray.

“I think the coast is clear.”

“Yeah, that's what _they_ want you to think.”

“They being...?” Ray raised his eyebrows.

Miles turned his head so that their eyes met and Ray leaned back as a reflect. “Them like that one over there,” Miles said, nodding his head up so that Ray could get the idea to look over his shoulder. And Ray did so, finding in his sights a dead person walking about near a building.

“Well, first one we've seen today,” he said, holding up his gun to aim, but Miles touched his arm.

“No, I got it – it'll be less noise.”

Ray pursed his lips. He wasn't quite sure how well Miles could handle a bow and arrow, so he lowered his arms slowly and stepped away. That was enough of an answer for Miles; he readied his stance and reached back for one of the arrows while Ray watched with his fist up to his mouth. The furrow of Miles' brows and the slight squint of his eyes seemed to give Ray the impression he knew damn well what he was doing. Okay, then there was no use worrying.

The corners of Ray's lips rose as the arrow was released and he watched it go... go... go... only to shoot the creature in the collar bone, not its head.

“Oh, fuck,” Miles sighed in defeat. “I thought I had it right.”

“Close enough,” Ray said as turned to walk off in a different direction.

Miles remained still a moment, staring at the creature as it appeared to be trying to figure out where that arrow had come from. “Wh-where are you going?” He asked Ray, keeping his voice down as to not be detected.

“We don't have to bother it, Miles. Let's just wander some other part of this ghost town.” That did sound like a good plan indeed. Miles turned on his heel and hurried to catch up with him.

After Ray had woken up that morning and eaten his breakfast, he announced that he wanted to go out and explore the city they now found themselves in. If they were really going to stay there a while, they needed to be able to navigate through it without a problem.

Miles had been the one to volunteer in helping Ray navigate the city. Ryan would have also joined, but at the last minute, he decided to help Jack out with a few things that needed to be done at the house, which was fine. Ray did find himself pretty fond of Miles anyway, considering it was nearly impossible to be bored around him.

The two went on with their walk, passing by various buildings that appeared to lack any signs of what they were meant to be. Either the signs had been tore off or very much have faded with time. Miles found himself slowing his steps as they came across one particular wide building with interesting paintings covering up most of the tall windows. And just like all the others, he couldn't find a sign of what it was supposed to be, but if he really had to guess – with the width and length and the sights of broken glass containers inside that he could see from where he was – he'd say it was a museum. A museum that many had walked through, destroying anything they managed to get their hands on. It looked dark inside, lonely and eerie, only parts of it were lit up from the daylight, but Miles was able to make out the scattered colorful shattered glass, some with delicately painted designs, mixed in with the glass from the containers. Stepping inside would prove dangerous, even with good shoes on. Miles cringed at the mere thought.

“Left or right?” He heard Ray ask.

He turned his head to find his friend looking down a street that had two directions they could go in. He walked up to join him at his side and was immediately more drawn towards the left.

“There doesn't seem to be much going on down that way,” he answered, nodding towards the right where nothing but trees lied ahead. “I see a few more buildings and cars the other way.”

“Alright, then let's go,” Ray said, taking the lead once more.

Before following, Miles ran up to the building across from them and grabbed the doorknob. As he suspected, it was locked. The green paint around the doors was slowly chipping off and behind them were iron bars, but he couldn't look beyond them if he tried, since there were also curtains in the way of his view. Whoever owned the place completely abandoned it when they had made their escape and something about that made a knot begin to grow in Miles' stomach.

“It doesn't look like there could have been anything useful in there anyway,” Ray spoke up when he noticed Miles' unsettled face.

“Useful to us? No,” Miles shook his head, “but there was something in there that meant to someone else once.”

Ray let out a sigh and gently grabbed his friend's arm with his free hand. “Everything was,” he said softly. “ _Was_.”

Miles opened his mouth to say something to that, but a few growls had them both turning their attentions down the street they were just about to walk down.

“We turned around to get away from one and it looks like we're about to encounter more,” he whispered. “Great.”

“Come on,” Ray urged, taking a few steps forward. Hesitantly, Miles followed. They stayed close together, staring nowhere but the road ahead, bricks walls surrounding them.

They saw an opening on the right where a few patches of dry grass among dirt seemed to be, but it was also where the growls sounded the loudest.

“They're hanging around there,” Ray told Miles, holding his arm out so Miles could also stop walking. Miles obliged and waited to hear what the plan was. Ray inhaled sharply, and even a little shaky, “Once we peek around this building, we're going to see them. Be ready.” He then reached into his back pocket and Miles watched as he pulled out his standard kitchen knife.

“The smartest way of doing this is quietly,” he explained, unwrapping the knife from its cloth.

Miles blinked. “Can't we just sneak by?”

“Or... _yeah,_ we can do that. Okay, let's do that instead.”

“Gotcha,” Miles answered with a nod. Another deep breath and they were off. Miles reached the edge of the building first and swallowed the lump in his throat before peeking over slightly, just enough to see what they were up against. One that was sitting up against the wall and looking down (was it... dead? Permanently dead?), another wandering aimlessly in a circle along, and a third trying to get into a door but not knowing exactly how to open it.

“There's only three and they're pretty much distracted,” Miles reported back to Ray.

Ray licked his lips and looked toward the end of the street where they had to go to get away unharmed. “On the count of three, we run.”

“Okay,” Miles began to brace himself for the quick start sprint they were both sure to do at the same time.

“One... two... three.”

 

* * *

 

Michael and Arryn couldn't help but watch Ryan and Jack rebuild the fence in the backyard, something that would have been left alone, although they all decided it'd be best if they fixed it. The task had been going on longer than expected. It was kind of amusing to watch, though, how Jack knew everything he was doing and Ryan was _trying_ to follow along.

Gavin was sat on the sofa, avoiding any sort of eye contact with Aaron sitting on the couch with Barbara. The cat Miles had practically taken in as his own was resting in Gavin's lap and Gavin was absentmindedly stroking his orange fur. Everything was a bit peacefully quiet, at least for everyone else. Gavin felt a bit of awkwardness in the air, but he tried to push it aside by distracting himself with thoughts of absolutely _anything_ else.

At the sudden sound of the front door being thrown open, he found that he didn't need to search for any distraction – it had come to him. He, along with everyone else, turned their heads to see Ray and Miles running inside before Ray quickly shut the door behind them. They were breathless, hunching over with a hand on their chests to see how they could steady their rapidly beating hearts, all while the others merely stared questioningly.

Miles was the first to look up and catch their gazes. He swallowed roughly and stood up straight, his attention immediately being drawn to the meowing cat in Gavin's lap. “Oh, I see you two have become good friends,” he said casually, gesturing to them. “Do you think we can all come up with some sort of name for him-”

“Cut the crap, Miles,” Michael spoke up from the other side of the room and everyone looked at him, “Why the hell did you and Ray just run in here like that? No bullshit, either.”

“Okay, okay,” Ray answered, putting his hands up in defense, “We got ourselves in a little trouble back there, _but_!” He pointed at Arryn when he noticed her eyes widen, “But we're fine. We're here and alive, aren't we?”

Barbara raised an eyebrow at that as she looked them both up and down and Ray sighed before adding, “Michael said 'no bullshit', so no bullshit.”

“Yeah, so,” Miles said as he walked around the sofa and plopped himself down (or rather, _squeezed_ himself) next to Gavin. He patted the cat's head and smiled at everyone, “What should his name be?”

Arryn squinted her eyes at her boyfriend as she crossed her arms, making sure to examine his face carefully. Not seeing any trace of actual fear in those eyes of his, her expression softened, and she found himself unsure of whether or not to be relieved that Miles honestly wasn't afraid of what had just happened to him and Ray. She shook her head and stepped forward, moving her gaze down to the cat.

“Something simple, nothing too complicated,” she suggested.

“Like Bob?” Barbara grinned.

“I'm kind of upset you said 'nothing too complicated', because I was going to say we name him Arin – A-R-I-N. The more the merrier,” Aaron joked.

“Oh, god no,” Barbara shook her head.

Miles looked to Gavin. “Any ideas?”

“Not really,” Gavin answered, so Miles looked to Michael and asked him the same. Michael shrugged.

“Okay, then,” Miles said, taking the cat into his arms. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a collar that seemed to have a tag and a small bell already attached to it. “Your name will be Joe, because that's the name on this tag, so hey, why not?”

“Then why the fuck did you ask us?” Michael questioned. “You basically had the name already picked out for you.”

“Where did you get that anyway?” Ray asked.

“Oh, you kind of left me behind at one point and I stepped on it,” Miles responded, carefully putting the collar around Joe the cat's neck.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe that is his original collar?”

“That would be way too much of a coincidence, Ray, come on now.”

Ray opened his mouth to say something else to that, but he shut it and just shrugged.

“So, did you two manage to find your way through the city without a problem?” Barbara then asked.

“Well, we got lost here and there, but I think we could show any of you around without getting _too_ confused,” Miles told her. He kept on explaining more and of everything he and Ray had seen, but at that point, Michael had shut him out, his, and everyone else's voices, becoming only mumbles in the background now.

Michael looked back to where Jack and Ryan were finishing off repairing the fence, and because the door was glass, he could see his reflection. Idly, he looked at it and was going to ignore it completely afterward, but in that reflection, he could also see Gavin on the sofa, watching him. Michael stared hard at him through the glass and Gavin must have noticed, because he averted his eyes, and Michael frowned.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Life, or whatever it could be called now, seemed to be getting back at a safe and steady pace with little to no interruptions. In the next few days, there were times at night where a wandering creature would find its way onto the lawn and even start banging against the front door, but that was nothing none of them couldn't handle easily and quietly. Other than that, everything was at somewhat peace. During those days, Ray and Miles had taken turns with escorting one of the others out into the city so they could also become accustomed with the routes and streets without getting lost later.

Miles had showed Arryn around first and they did end up hauled up in an abandoned store while they waited out a crowd of those creatures, but they made it back in one piece. Honestly, they laughed about it afterward, even though everyone else failed to see the humor in it. Ray then took Ryan through the tour, and though they avoided eye contact, smiles remained on their faces as Ray led the way. Miles and Gavin went on next in the morning, but they both found themselves distracted with anything they would find, and they just kept trying to figure out the story behind some of the items.

Next was Ray and Barbara, and Barbara was truly serious about it all – ducking down every corner and searching every inch of the areas. Miles and Jack explored the third morning, and in the meantime, they managed to grab a nice amount of supplies to return to the house with.

Lastly, Ray took Michael out there, where they spent more time talking about every single other thing except what they were supposed to be discussing. Michael had only asked one simple question, but it had led to an entire conversation around the city and back to the house.

“What did you do before all of this?”

“I had just moved to Austin from New York... I, uh, had just gotten settled into my first apartment and well, then shit happens. Just my luck.”

“Wait, you moved to Texas all the way from New York?! What the _hell_ made you want to do that?”

“The most cliché answer is my only answer – I needed a fresh start, somewhere completely different where absolutely nobody knew me,” Ray paused there, seeming to hesitate on saying anything more and Michael wanted to tell him it was fine, but then he started talking again before Michael had the chance to stop him, “Okay, look... I was kind of... in a relationship with someone.”

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Kind of?”

“I guess more than kind of, considering we were engaged,” Ray mumbled that last word, yet Michael heard it loud and clear.

“You were _engaged_?” Michael asked, widening his eyes. Ray nodded, pursing his lips. Looking away from him, Michael looked forward as they continued to walk through the long, empty street. “It didn't work out?”

“Something like that. She was... she was a bit, _uh,_ aggressive,” and it was just the way Ray had said that, the slight shakiness to his tone that left Michael in an even more state of shock than he was already in.

“She _hurt_ you?” He questioned, even though he knew the answer. Ray inhaled sharply, his eyes squinting and for a moment, Michael thought he had offended him.

“That's the nicest way of putting it,” he answered quietly, his gaze dropping slightly before letting out a humorless laugh. Michael twitched his eyebrows together as he watched his friend just do that, laugh so bitterly, so lifelessly, and it stung to hear.

“She always _assumed_ I was out doing something I _shouldn't_ be doing,” Ray finally said after a while of that laughter, “whether that would be cheating, gambling, or out drinking with friends. Man, I don't even drink! I've had _one_ sip of alcohol in my life. One. It tasted like ass and I swore I'd never touch it again, so that assumption of hers was _way_ off, but she was so determined to believe it. I mean, we didn't live together, but how did she seriously think I'd risk coming home to my parents while being drunk off my ass?! My mom would have _killed_ me.

“Also, _cheating_?! Yeah, right! I could hardly get myself to talk to her when I first saw her... how the hell was I going to be sneaking around with _other_ people?! And don't even get me started on me gambling, because I have _no_ idea how she got to _that_ conclusion.”

Michael bit down on his lower lip. “And when you tried explaining, she just wouldn't believe you?”

Ray looked away, but even from the new angle, Michael could still see his face a little. He appeared to be deep in thought, deep in thoughts he probably hadn't wanted to go back on.

“Basically,” he responded, practically a whisper. “At first I didn't think it was a big deal, because she was pissed and okay yeah, maybe I shouldn't have pushed her buttons so much, but then I realized...” Ray sighed and scratched his head, “I didn't want to tell anyone. I mean I-I didn't think I could. I didn't want anyone hating her. So that's why... that's why I left.” Michael raised an eyebrow questioningly and Ray looked up in time to see it, making him smile faintly. “After a particular bad fight, we didn't talk to each other for a week. I still remember coming home after that fight and being asked by my mom if I had gotten into a fight with one of my friends, then she asked why I would let them leave a mark on me. I just ignored her questions completely and went to my room. So, a week passed and then _she_ calls me and talks to me like nothing happened. That's when I decided I was done.

“That's when I knew I had to get out of that god damn relationship, but I didn't know how. We had only been engaged for a few months and before that, our relationship was fucking amazing. She made sure that I never held back or felt ashamed of anything I like, because she basically liked the same things. That's why I thought she was the _one._ That's why I worked more hours at my stupid job to buy her a _ring_! All so she can turn around and make me question why I could ever love her?!” Ray shook his head and took a step back, his expression wavering between anger and... fear? Was that _fear_ in his eyes?

“That phone call was her suggesting that we move in together, in her apartment,” he spoke up again, “I said yes just so I wouldn't piss her off. When I started packing, I packed with the intention of leaving. I bought my plane ticket and made sure I had everything, and for the first time in those months, I felt _relieved_. She called me the next morning saying she would be over soon to pick me up. I said that was fine since I was ready, but as soon as that call was over, I was already getting into a taxi to head to the airport,” Ray took a deep breath and sat down on the sidewalk, setting his gun down next to him.

“I think back to that now and know I could have done everything differently. My biggest regret is just not letting my parents know and now they'll never know what happened to me. I was just tired of pretending. I was tired of her thinking she could do whatever she wanted to me.”

Michael went ahead and sat down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You did what was best for you, Ray; that's all that matters.”

Ray swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded, though he didn't look Michael in the eye. “I don't even know why I chose Austin, Texas. Maybe because it was a commercial I saw. I don't know. It just felt like the place I needed to run to.” Michael wasn't sure what to say anymore to that, but nothing needed to be said anyway. They merely sat there in their silence, one going over what he had just been told while the other tried pushing it all back in his mind like he had been since he escaped it.

And Michael realized that, life now was rough, but life had always been that way. It was just in a different sense now.

* * *

 

Another thing that had occurred in those past days was Aaron's recovery. Although there were parts of him that still ached, he could move around so much more freely, which meant only one thing – he was going to leave soon. Of course, he knew that from the start. The group was to help him and the moment he was able to get up and go out on his own again, he would. And now he was good.

The fourth morning, he decided that was the time. Everyone was gathered around in the kitchen for breakfast and Barbara grabbed a few extras of everything before venturing into the living room where Aaron was sitting, trying to prepare himself for the journey he was ready to take. Barbara, having not quite remembered about that whole ordeal, simply joined him and offered half of the food to him.

Aaron turned to smile at her and picked an orange off her plate, “Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” she smiled before helping herself to the food. “There hasn't been much going on lately, huh?” Aaron's own smile faltered a little. Here was Barbara attempting to make conversation with him as she had been each day when they found themselves doing nothing, and here was Aaron, knowing full well that was probably the thing he would miss the most.

Of all the people in the house, she was the one he'd manage to get the closest with. Sure he hadn't known her too long, but she was the one to make an effort in talking to him everyday.

“Yeah,” he said softly, beginning to peal the fruit. “That's a good thing, though, right?”

Barbara shrugged a shoulder, chewing on a piece of slice bread that had jam spread over it. “I just feel like I'm always expecting the worst,” she said afterward with a sigh.

“That can only be a good thing for one reason.” She looked at him at this and he further clarified, “Well, you're the most prepared, ready to jump at any sign of danger. We know to count on you,” Aaron immediately paused, realizing what he said. _We._ As if this group was truly one he was a part of.

Barbara didn't seem to notice Aaron's realization. Either that or she didn't to comment upon it. She smiled a bit wider as she responded, “Yeah, Ray kept on telling me that when he was showing me around the city. I'm glad I'm not useless.”

“What?” Aaron blinked hard, bringing himself more back into their conversation. He furrowed his eyebrows. “ _Of course_ you're not useless... none of you are. Seriously, you and everyone else are the most put together group I've seen in a while. Every other one was just a disaster waiting to happen and I hate to say it, but sometimes I was surprised to see they'd made it this far.”

“No, I get it. We've came across some those kinds of groups, too.”

“I'm glad you never had to come across mine,” Aaron mumbled as he finished pulling the peel off his orange. Barbara watched him absentmindedly for a moment, sort of spacing out, until a question began to float through her mind and her curiosity got the best of her.

“I know you told me the man in charge was... _difficult_ , to say the least, but besides him, what kind of group was it?”

Aaron stopped midway from putting an orange wedge into his mouth to stare at Barbara, a mixed of contemplation and hesitation in those blue eyes. Barbara tilted her head slightly, staring back at him, though she wore a more relaxed expression.

“Another thing I hate to say... I feel like everyone was slowly turning into emotionless and brainwashed robots just to obey _him_ ,” Aaron answered, his voice a whisper.

Barbara rose her eyebrows slowly as she tried to imagine that exactly – a man who felt he had all the power against a crowd of people who were afraid and needed guidance into how to survive, but them eventually shutting their mouths and... following. Following because they were afraid to do anything else. Aaron was basically proof of what would happen if they didn't follow or if they disobeyed.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered in return. “At least now you won't have to go back to them.”

Aaron averted his eyes as he shook his head. “I guess not, but... I'm not staying here either.”

Barbara practically choked on another piece of her bread, but after managing to swallow it better, she gaped at Aaron. “You're not?”

“That was the plan, wasn't it? You guys save me and I get out of your way afterward.”

“I... Well, it was, but...” as words failed her, Barbara closed her mouth and sighed through her nose, looking away from him.

“I'll leave here after breakfast, once everyone is going about their daily routines, so I won't have to bother anyone with any goodbyes,” Aaron spoke softly.

“Oh, um... well, that's too bad, because if you leave, you'll never get to know more of my story. I still owe you that,” Barbara told him.

The corners of Aaron's lips twitched up slightly at that, yet instead of answering, he moved on to say, “I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you've done for me,” he looked up at her then, “Thank you.”

Barbara chewed on her lower lip and nodded, though she couldn't find it within her to really say anything. Michael had been standing nearby and he had tried not paying any attention to their conversation, but his interest had been piqued when he heard Aaron say he was leaving. Now he was side eying them from where he stood and he watched how Barbara excused herself from Aaron to hurry into the kitchen, walking right passed him. Michael fully turned his body to get a better look at Aaron and he rolled his eyes, because he almost hated himself for what he was about to do. He quickly set his empty plate down on the counter before stalking over to the couch where Aaron looked to him when sat down.

“Answer me something and answer it as honestly as you possibly can,” Michael said to him, a painfully stern tone lacing those words. Aaron sat up a little more, gesturing for Michael to go on. “Do you _want_ to leave?”

Aaron raised an eyebrow questioningly at him, “What?”

“You heard _exactly_ what I said.”

Yes, Aaron had. He just hadn't expected to be asked something like that, especially by anyone who wasn't Barbara. Knowing Michael was clearly waiting for an answer, especially with the way he was narrowing his eyes, Aaron sighed. “No,” he responded, “No, I... don't.” Michael's expression softened then and he stood.

Aaron followed him with his eyes for a moment, but just as Michael was getting too far away, he called out, “Wait!” Michael halted in his tracks and looked at him over his shoulder. Aaron licked his chapped lips, “Why did you ask?”

Michael glanced over at everyone else who was in the kitchen, making sure none were paying attention to him or Aaron. When the coast seemed clear, he headed back closer to Aaron and said in a very hushed tone, “Don't leave yet. I think I can talk to the others about you staying with us.”

“Michael, it's fine-”

“Shut up. Just let me try first.”

Aaron's eyebrows twitched together, “But why?”

Michael could have asked himself that as well and perhaps he didn't quite have an answer yet. This was something he just felt like he _needed_ to do. He needed to help Aaron stay there where he'd be safe instead out there where he'd be risking his life every day. And truthfully, after his talk with Ray the day before, he'd been thinking a lot, specifically about how if something terrible could be prevented, then it should be. Aaron's risk of death was something that could be prevented; it could be turned into less of a possibility if he stayed with them.

So without answering the question, Michael said instead, “Just wait here,” as he started backing away to enter the kitchen.

 


	21. Chapter 21

The talk about allowing Aaron stay with the group was a bit more difficult that Michael had originally expected it to be. For a long while, it was just him talking and making his reasoning, and Barbara had jumped in to back him up, but after that, they were left with silence from the others. Ryan crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, Ray blinked and merely stared blankly at them, Arryn had her eyes squinted as if she couldn't really decide what to think about this which seemed to be what Miles was feeling as well, and Gavin was just indifferent as he stood off to the side with his gaze on the floor.

Jack then spoke up to also back Michael and Barbara up, walking over to stand next to them before facing everyone else. “Yeah it gets difficult with food the more people we have, but it also increases our defenses. The more people, the stronger we are.”

Michael nodded as he pointed at him, “Listen to him; he's a smart one.”

Ryan turned to look at Michael and asked, “Since when do _you_ want Aaron to stay with us?”

“I just don't think it's okay for us to kick people out instead of trying to help them.”

Ryan's expression instantly softened and he glanced over at Barbara and Jack who were staring at him with pleading eyes. He then turned to look at Ray and Ray locked eyes with him. “Should we?” They both seemed to silently ask each other. Ray eventually sighed and nodded, so Ryan smiled at him before turning to the three still standing in front.

And the decision was made.

Although Aaron tried to _insist_ that it was fine and he was fine on his own, they all managed to get him to shut up. The house really didn't have any other rooms for him to sleep in, so the couch did have to remain his bed, which he was more than okay with, considering the fact that they were letting him officially joined them was enough of a luxury.

That night, as everyone got settled in for another long sleep, Ryan and Ray were left awake in their bed, staring up at the ceiling and contemplating what to say first.

“Do you think we made the right decision earlier with Aaron?” Ray finally broke the silence to ask. It was something he'd been wanting to know since they all departed from the kitchen after the discussion.

Ryan turned his head on his pillow to get a look at Ray's face before answering, “I don't know, but I like what Michael said.”

“Yeah, I guess I kind of do, too. Aaron's been with us for almost a week now anyway and he hasn't done or said anything to give us a reason not to like him.”

“So maybe this is a good thing,” Ryan sounded a little more enthusiastic than usual, causing Ray to look back at him. Ryan's lips curled up further as their eyes made contact for the second time that day. What made it amazing about it was how neither of them tried to break it for the sake of hesitation. No, they stared softly yet intently at one another, the sleepiness of a long day beginning to slowly creep up on them.

Ray blinked a few times and found himself scooting closer to the man. By the time there was only a few inches between them, Ryan reached a hand up to Ray's face. Ray closed his eyes momentarily as his glasses were taken off, so when he looked at Ryan again and saw Ryan placing them on the side table closest to him, he grinned.

“Let's just stop thinking about everything else for a while,” Ryan then whispered as he got himself comfortable once again. Ray's attention flickered down to his lips for a second, but he quickly went back to focusing on his eyes instead. He nodded in agreement and after another short exchange of smiles, they both shut their eyes, letting the warmth of each other so close by lulled them into sleep.

* * *

 

Summer was coming to an end, as the temperature began to prove with every passing week. Autumn was getting ready to roll in, with leaves falling off the trees and the air finally able to give someone a few chills, especially at night. It was quite a relief, because being in a house full of people was suddenly not a dreadfully hot horror because of the lack of air conditioning.

Michael wished he could truly tell himself that every time he had to get into bed with Gavin at the end of the day had gotten easier. Actually, if anything, it felt as though it had gotten worse. How could it even get easy, when being near him all the time did nothing but remind him of every little reason why he couldn't roll over and take Gavin into his arms? Well, he supposed he _could,_ since Gavin wasn't the one who was angry. _He_ was the one who was angry... but was he still angry? Michael thought it over everyday when he found himself alone and sometimes he wasn't sure.

Anytime after waking up everyday and leaving the bedroom, Michael would get a jolt of excitement running through him whenever Gavin would appear, even if the Brit didn't get anywhere near him. Anytime Gavin had no choice but to say something to him, Michael would have to fight the urge to give in then and there. And anytime at night when Gavin would fall asleep first and end up snuggling up against his back, Michael would curse under his breath and sneak a glance at him over his shoulder, only causing the ever present ache in his chest to throb.

At times he would wonder why he had to feel this strongly for Gavin. It seemed so cruel to think of it in that way, but sometimes he was just too _annoyed_ at why he couldn't just _move_ on. The fact was, and he knew it well (though it pissed him off to realize), was that he didn't _want_ to move on. He did actually want to work it out. His problem was that, the more time that passed, the more time he let go by without trying to do anything about it, the more afraid he became.

He used to do well in figuring out the thoughts that would run through Gavin's mind, yet when he tried doing that now, he couldn't tell what Gavin felt when they accidentally looked at each other too long. Gavin always appeared so... emotionless... at least around Michael, because Michael would catch him genuinely laughing with Ray or baby talking Joe the cat. So it definitely wasn't that Gavin was purposely shutting himself out from everything and everyone. He was only shutting himself out from Michael.

And that only added to Michael's fear, because if Gavin didn't care anymore, then what was the point of trying to fix what they had? Perhaps Gavin had moved on and it wouldn't be fair if Michael were to drop that bomb on him after so long.

Therefore, Michael found how little sleep he would get on some days, and he knew it couldn't get any easier, especially with how badly he wanted to snuggle back up to the Brit on particular cold nights. But it wasn't even just to keep warm.

Michael merely told himself to accept the way things were now; it was better than being elsewhere and utterly alone.

* * *

 

Arryn sighed as she stepped over another creature she had finished putting down. It was the third one she had seen since walking into the old bookstore, but it must have been the last one since he didn't hear complaints from Ray or Miles who were on the other side of the store, or any hungry growls. She placed her hammer down on one of the empty bookshelves and sighed as she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

“You know, for it being close to Winter now, I still sweat a lot,” she announced.

“Yeah, these assholes will take a lot out of you, especially when they try putting up a fight,” Ray answered back.

Miles walked away from the set of books he was shuffling through and met up with Arryn halfway to show her. “Looks like something you'd be interested in, babe,” he said, getting Ray's attention who turned to look at both of them. Arryn took the book Miles was handing to her and smiled up at him.

“You two are nauseating,” Ray grumbled, looking away.

Arryn narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head. “You're not allowed to judge when we've _all_ seen those googly eyes you and Ryan give each other.” Ray raised his eyebrows as he glanced at her and she smirked at him.

“I don't... we don't... _do_ that,” Ray sputtered, averting his eyes.

“Oh, right,” Miles nodded. “ _Right_.”

Ray huffed and set down a book he'd been holding, “Anyway, why are we even in here? Shouldn't be out there doing what we left the house to do? You know... looking for food?”

“Yeah, but we've already run out of every little entertainment we had at the house, so it wouldn't hurt to grab more things to do along with food,” Arryn told him. “Besides, it's not like the food part has been easy and we deserve a little break.”

“Slowly running out of food completely in this city,” Miles sighed. “I guess it was bound to happen, right? We've been living here a while. The only one of us that doesn't need to worry about being fed is Joe.”

“Watch us get desperate enough to eat cat food,” Ray stated, receiving a glare from both Miles and Arryn. “What?” He asked. “It _can_ happen.”

“Well thanks for reminding us about that,” Miles sarcastically said, folding his arms across his chest.

“No, that doesn't have to be an issue yet,” Arryn stepped in, holding her hands up, “It just means we'll soon have to start going into nearby towns to scout for food. We already know from signs we've seen that there's plenty of places not too far from here.”

“Yeah, but I'm not traveling that far today,” Ray said as he walked past them to get to the front. Arryn reluctantly followed, as did Miles.

“Me neither, but it's a suggestion for another time,” she grabbed her hammer on the way out and the three of them halted in their tracks as they stood outside of the store.

Ray looked up at the gloomy sky and pursed his lips. “We better hurry,” his voice was much more quiet now.

Miles clutched his crowbar as he trailed behind the two of them to keep watch of anyone or anything that had ideas of sneaking up on them unexpectedly. Arryn peeked over her shoulder and smiled at the sight of him.

“Why don't you carry around your bow anymore?” She asked him, facing forward again.

Miles sighed in defeat. “I don't even know how to use that well. I need practice before bringing it out with me again,” he held up his weapon, “I trust my crowbar; it hasn't let me down yet.”

“That's the spirit,” Ray chimed in.

Arryn went into full alert mode when a sign that was falling off a building caught her interest. She would have ran right toward it, but the sounds coming from in there had her crouching down slightly and nudging Ray to look in its direction. Ray obliged and Miles joined right after, both staring at the grocery store.

“We've found our first destination,” Arryn whispered to them, “but it seems to be over thrown at the moment.”

“I've been to this store before since we've been here and none of them have ever wandered in there,” Ray told her, his eyebrows twitching together in confusion.

Miles gasped and they both whipped their heads to look at him. “I may have a good idea for why,” he said slowly, his expression turning into something showing complete dread. It didn't take long for Arryn and Ray to figure out what he was thinking.

“Oh, shit,” Ray hissed before standing up straight, holding up his gun up in front of him, and rushing forward.

“Ray!” Arryn called out, though she didn't waste no time and was going after him with Miles. She ended up running in front of him to knock down the first monster in the way, quickly taking care of him with a good whack to the head with her hammer. There was splatter, as she should have expected, but at the moment, she didn't care when some of it landed on her.

Ray nodded at her and entered inside, but she remained close by so he wouldn't have to use his bullets unless it was the only thing necessary. So as they went, she and Miles cleared the path, smashing their weapons into any creature's head and quickly hurrying on to the next. Ray would merely kick some in the stomach to move them out of his way and either Arryn or Miles would finish it off from there. Ray continued down an aisle, following a slight trail of red liquid that he hoped wasn't what he thought it was, but who was he kidding? The closer he approached the end, a lump started to form in his throat, and he swallowed hard, because he could hear the mumbled growls and sounds of something rough being torn apart. There was also something... something wet? Or slippery.

Arryn bit down on her lower lip as they prepared to look around the corner, so they did it at the same time, all three of them peeking their head around as best as they could. There were four of _them_ , on their knees and seemingly feeding on something, but since one had their back to Arryn, Ray, and Miles, they weren't able to see what. They had a pretty good idea what, though.

“Miles and I will go in first,” Arryn told Ray, “You jump in when it gets too messy.” Ray nodded and Arryn quickly walked around him with Miles at her side. Their steps were slow and as quiet as they could manage as to not get the attention of the creatures, but the closer the got, the more the smell was evident. Arryn held her breath and Miles tried not to let out a noise of disgust, but he did silently gag.

Finally a bit behind the huddled creatures, Arryn and Miles saw it – the poor person who hadn't been able to escape, lying there as the monsters fed on them. Their entire stomach was torn open and being ripped apart even more by one of the creatures as it tried digging in for anything else it could munch on.

The sounds of them chewing, hungrily and loudly, only increased the intense feeling of wanting to get sick to Miles. Arryn shut her mouth tightly as she lifted her hammer up and in that moment, she caught sight of the person's eyes that had been left open, and she froze a second, almost able to hear their final cry and able to see the terror they'd been killed in.

Four against one...

A living human being and four who used to be exactly that. Yes, these creatures she was getting ready to eliminate once and for all had once been like her – a person, a person who had a life, maybe a family, maybe a loved one, and maybe even a steady. Maybe they had a pet and a house, even a car. But now what were they? The living dead?

Now they only cared about feeding on those who still had a beating heart, so that they could keep on living. But for what? For _what_?

They weren't doing anything good for the world because they _couldn't._ They couldn't do anything but feed. And feed... and _terrorize._ And it was why she was holding up this hammer now, because with them around, only more death followed and seeing what they did to this innocent person who had just wanted to find some food, _actual_ food, to satisfy themselves, was absolutely frustrating.

Arryn slammed her hammer down onto the creature's head, snarling at another that was now looking right at her with pieces of that person's organs dripping from its mouth. It only seemed to anger her further, because she yanked her hammer out and went for that one next. Although, instead of doing the same thing to it, she swung her weapon sideways, knocking that creature's head off its neck and watching as it flung toward the wall before landing on the floor. She then stomped over to the lone head and proceeded to making sure its brain could no longer function, not one bit of it, all while Miles and Ray watched with mouths agape after having had calmly and quickly killed the other two.

 


	22. Chapter 22

The thunder rumbled through the sky with the occasional flashes of lightning joining its terror of the early morning storm. Michael blinked his eyes open a few times until the room come into a clearer view, and he turned his head to look out the window, almost forgetting Gavin was still sleeping soundly next to him. Michael sighed quietly and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. He stretched his arms upward a moment, a bit of a content noise escaping his lips, and he stood up to walk over and stand in front of the window where droplets of rain were now hitting against the glass.

And it was as if he was at great peace, with nothing but the sounds of the rain and Gavin's soft breathing filling the room. It brought a smile to his face, reminding him of all those mornings and nights where he would wake to rain, but most importantly, he would wake up to Gavin entangled in his arms. There was always just something about those kind of moments that never failed to relax him from his most stressful days.

Michael glanced back at Gavin and his smile quickly faltered. There was something so familiar about this particular moment, yet all too different. He swallowed back the lump beginning to form in his throat and leaned forward until his forehead was touching the cold glass. He couldn't crawl back into bed and hold Gavin close, but at least he could have the soothing sounds of the rain outside.

He watched as a particular lightning strike in the distance caused a louder roar in the skies than the previous one. Gavin stirred slightly and opened his eyes, not noticing Michael was standing at the window for his back was to him. Michael noticed him wake, though.

“Morning,” he said softly, averting his eyes immediately.

Gavin gasped and looked over at him with wide eyes. “Oh... morning.” Silence fell over them, then, but only for a small moment as Gavin listened intently to the rain. “Guess there won't be much of us leaving the house today.”

“I don't mind having to go out there if I have to,” Michael responded, his voice low. “Besides, it'll probably stop soon enough.”

Gavin simply hummed a reply and Michael figured that would be the end of that. To relieve some of the awkward tension within the room, he turned on his heel and headed for the door, grabbing his beanie off the side table on his way there, all while Gavin watched, but neither said a word.

_Gavin groaned softly and scrunched up his nose as he felt warm lips being pressed against the side of his face, trailing down to his jawline._

“ _Michael,” he whined, batting the other away, even though he couldn't recall another time he felt_ this _comfortable waking up. Not only was Michael's arm still wrapped around his waist, but Michael's right hand was playfully running through his messy hair... and then there were also those gentle kisses._

“ _'Bout time that you're awake,” Michael whispered, his breath tickling Gavin's neck._

_Gavin grinned crookedly but flinched at the sudden sound of thunder. It almost sounded as though the roof was going to collide on top of them. Michael laughed, receiving himself a glare from the Brit._

“ _Alright, alright. I'm going to get up and make us breakfast,” Michael said as he attempted to move out of his spot, but Gavin suddenly grabbed him and pulled him in closer._

“ _No, stay,” he mused, nuzzling his head underneath Michael's chin. “You're warm.”_

 _Michael snorted. “That's all I'm good for? Keeping you warm?” Gavin said nothing, but he did smile. Michael rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You know you're laying_ right _on my arm. You're gonna make me lose all the feeling in it.”_

“ _You're the one who put it there in the first place,” Gavin riposted, to which Michael smirked._

“ _Fair point, Gav._ Fair _point.”_

If possible, Gavin felt his face fall a little more as he rested his back down on the pillow and touched the empty space next to him.

“You could have stayed...” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

“The day I wake up deciding that I'm going to spend my time outside practicing my archery, it pours!” Miles complained as walked down the stairs, flailing his arms.

“That's a bad thing?” Ray asked from where he sat at the table. “I haven't seen rain in months.”

“Yeah, but... why _today_?”

“You need help with the bow and arrow? I can help you,” Aaron offered as he poured himself a glass of the grape juice. Miles raised his eyebrows as he looked at him.

“You know archery?”

“Yeah, my grandpa taught me when I was a kid. Never thought the skill would ever come in handy, but,” Aaron shrugged, “look at where we are now.” He took a sip of his juice and swallowed roughly, “It was also my weapon of choice when I was with my other group,” he mumbled that.

Although Miles, Ray, and Ryan who had just walked in all looked at each other cautiously, Miles ended up smiling at Aaron.

“I'd like that. If the rain lets up, we'll head out.”

Aaron seemed to visibly relax, along the sigh he released. “In the meantime, while we're inside, I can talk to you about the basics.”

“Great, yeah!” Miles nodded. He then peeked out into the living room where Arryn was sat with Barbara and Jack. “Hey, babe, wanna come learn how to shoot an arrow?” He sounded excited.

Arryn glanced up at him, the ghost of a smile on her lips. “Oh, I think I'm fine, but thank you,” her voice had been soft and she quickly averted her eyes. Although Miles instantly disappeared off to the side with Aaron, Barbara couldn't help being weary of the girl sitting next to her.

“You feeling okay?” She asked her.

Arryn lifted her head, “Hmm? What, why wouldn't I?” The corners of her mouth rose and though it looked genuine enough, Barbara kept her suspicions. Of course, Ray had mentioned the events that happened at the grocery store the week prior during their food run, so she knew there were plenty of things currently running through Arryn's mind ever since.

Parts of it didn't surprise Barbara; she had her fair share of moments where it seemed she felt she lost her temper, her self control, and couldn't get it back. To live in a world where simply stepping outside could be considered dangerous when they had been so used to everything that it was before. It was no easy adjustment and perhaps it never would be, so Barbara knew to give Arryn her time. They each had their breaking points, some worse than others, but she would be there through it all.

Arryn seemed to know what Barbara was thinking, because she glanced at her with raised eyebrows and Barbara merely gave her a reassuring smile. Neither of them cared that the conversation was over.

Michael had spent quite an amount of time in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror and shaking his head anytime Gavin ran through his mind. It seemed like the perfect time for a shower, to refresh himself and his mind. He even attempted to turn the faucet on to humor himself, though he sighed when no water came out, not that he expected water to gush out anyway...

He hadn't heard any others doors open, indicating that Gavin was still inside their room. Maybe talking to him wasn't the best idea? Really, Michael hadn't stayed in the room after waking up to start a morning chat with him, but when he heard him wake up, he thought it'd be rude if he just continued standing there without saying _something._ The ever present ache in his chest made itself known and Michael bit down on his lower lip.

Those words exchanged between them had probably been the most they've spoken to each other in so long.

With one more long glance in the mirror, Michael put his beanie on and stepped out of the bathroom to head down the stairs. He would have walked right on into the kitchen, but the sight he saw abruptly stopped him in his tracks.

Near the sink stood Ray and Ryan, little to no space between the two of them and so lost in staring intently at each other that they didn't even notice Michael, not one bite. Ryan looked as though he was explaining something to Ray, but Michael couldn't quite hear what. As if it mattered, because Ray didn't seem to be fully listening. No, he was too indulged in Ryan's eyes.

“ _If you keep on staring at Gavin, I'm going to believe that what you told me last week was a lie.”_

_Michael raised an eyebrow and turned his head to face his best friend. “I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about, Lindsay.”_

“ _Oh, really?”_

“ _Yep.”_

“ _So, you're_ not _staring longingly at Gavin?” She was smiling as she spoke, knowing she was right. Michael's silence only proved it further to her. “Yeah, that's what I thought,” she chirped, “Let's not forget the way you look at him when he's_ right _in front of you-”_

“ _Shut up,” Michael sighed._

“ _All I'm saying is that, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea if you two tried another date...”_

“ _No, that's not gonna happen.”_

“ _Well, why not? He obviously feels the same way and you said the first date was fun,” Lindsay narrowed her eyes at him._

_Michael sneaked a peek up at Gavin who was finally the next person in line to order. Yes, that first date had been everything that Michael didn't dread, because before he left to meet up with Gavin that night, the nerves would not let him be. It was one thought after another about how many ways he could screw everything up. This was the first person he found some interest in since he moved to Texas and he would have hated ruining it before anything even began._

_Well, he didn't screw things up, but nothing romantic began anyway. That was more of a mutual agreement, though, and they were becoming great friends the more they casually hung out._

“ _He and I just don't really want to be in any relationship right now,” Michael answered with a shrug. “If something happens later, then fine, but I'm not expecting it anytime soon.”_

“ _Okay, but you also can't expect me to pretend like I don't find your lingering stares adorable,” Lindsay teased. Michael pointed at her and opened his mouth, ready to say some remark, but he saw Gavin walking up to them from his peripheral vision and clamped his lips shut immediately._

“ _Okay, Lindsay, our food should be ready soon,” Gavin said as he sat back down across from Michael._

“ _Next time we hang out, I'm buying you lunch,” she told him, and then glared at Michael, “and next time, you'll join us in eating.”_

“ _I had a big breakfast!” Michael defended himself, folding his arms together on the table._

“ _I still got you something,” Gavin said sheepishly. Michael forced himself to look directly at him and he noticed that Gavin was holding out a milkshake to him. Hesitantly, Michael took it from him._

“ _Well, shit, thanks,” he said softly, averting his eyes. Lindsay started to talk about something that had happened to her the day before, but Michael was hardly listening. He was a little occupied with resisting a smile and catching Gavin's gaze._

Michael was pulled from his thoughts, as were Ray and Ryan, at the sound of Miles loudly announcing that the rain was already done. Michael moved out of the way to allow Miles and Aaron to get passed him and toward the front door before turning back around and finding Ray staring at him curiously.

“How long have you been there?” Ray asked, red tinting his cheeks. Well, Michael certainly knew he wouldn't admit to the fact that he'd been standing for a little while now and the sight of him and Ryan did have him feeling a little... jealous? Was that the correct word? He despised it, but if anything, that had to be it.

“I just got down here,” he lied. Ryan cleared his throat and excused himself from the kitchen. Michael closed his eyes momentarily. He hadn't mean to ruin whatever had just been going on between them. If Ray was peeved off about it, he didn't show it, but maybe that was for Michael's sake. Michael offered him a smile and hurried away, like he probably should have in the first place.

Miles and Aaron had left the front door open and Michael could just barely see the two of them out on the lawn. Aaron was in the middle of the grass, setting up a few targets for Miles while Miles adjusted himself and his bow. Michael approached the doorway and leaned against the frame to watch. He was doing quite a lot of that and it wasn't even the end of the day yet, but he honestly didn't know what else to do. He could try talking to Ray, but he also wanted to let Ray go back to Ryan. Arryn, Barbara, and Jack were comfortably sitting together on the couch and he didn't want to interrupt them by sitting there sulking. Gavin was still upstairs and though Michael yearned to talk to him the most, they had already proved that was too awkward. 

But what did he expect after not talking for so long? He couldn't give up after one try.

“Okay,” Aaron spoke up, getting Michael's attention even though he was speaking to Miles, “just like I explained inside,” he glanced up at the sky, “hopefully it doesn't start pouring on us.”

“I'd give it an hour before it begins again,” Miles told him. He readied himself quickly, latching on an arrow and squeezing his brows together to focus on the first target – an empty bottle on top of a trashcan. He pulled the string back until his hand was touching his chin and released. 

The bottle only slightly broke, but it was knocked off completely, and that was enough of a victory for Miles. 

“Yes,” he breathed out excitedly, grabbing another arrow. He noticed Aaron staring particularly at the bow and raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

Aaron blinked and shook his head, “Uh... um, nothing. You're doing a good job. Keep going,” he nodded to the next targets – a few logs he found lying around that he set down vertically. 

Miles grinned and did as he was told, concentrating on each log before letting his arrows fly across and launch right into them. Michael raised his eyebrows at the sight. Not only did Miles manage to at least hit each log, but the swift movements he made in grabbing arrow after arrow was impressive. Aaron laughed cheerfully as he clapped. 

“Wow, that was fantastic,” he praised, turning to face Miles. Michael pursed his lips to resist a laugh from escaping at Miles' smug smile. It was then that Aaron noticed Michael was standing there, “Oh, hey!” Michael's amused expression faded into shock as his eyes widened from being spotted. Miles also looked over to see who Aaron was talking to. 

Michael swallowed hard. “Hey,” he greeted both of them.

“Mind joining us?” Miles asked him, a sort of challenging grin on his face. Michael scoffed.

“Nah, I'm good. I just wanted to see what you two were doing,” he started turning away as he spoke, unable to help the slight embarrassment creeping up on him. 

“It wouldn't hurt to try, would it?” He heard Aaron ask. 

Michael sighed and looked at him. “I'd probably just suck really bad at it. The only time I've ever used a bow was in video games-”

“Aw, don't be a baby now,” Miles taunted, sticking out his lower lip. Michael's eyebrows twitched together as he turned his attention to him.

Aaron gave Miles a stern look before saying to Michael, “I can teach you.” Again, Michael was going to refuse and just walk away without being stopped, but he thought about how that would mean being inside with nothing better to do. With a roll of his eyes, he made his way over to the two men. Miles smiled apologetically at him and handed him the bow.

Jack stood up from where he was sitting to see Gavin descend the stairs, colt in hand. 

“Going somewhere?” He asked him. 

Gavin looked up from zipping up his jacket and shrugged a shoulder. “I'm going for a walk, maybe bring anything useful if I find anything. I just don't want to be in here all day.”

“It can start raining anytime soon again, Gavin,” Barbara told him.

“Yeah, don't you think you want to wait a while to see if the sky gets a little less dark?” Jack questioned. 

“That is why they created hoods,” Gavin gestured to his behind his head. 

“Alright, smartass,” Ray mumbled from across the room. Gavin ignored him and walked over to the front door. 

“Shouldn't one of us go with him just in case?” Jack asked the others in a hushed tone. 

The Brit made it a few steps out of the house when he saw Aaron, Miles, and... Michael. He halted and raised an eyebrow at them. 

“Okay, steady yourself first,” Aaron explained as he stood behind Michael, and it was when his hand went up to settle on one of Michael's shoulders that Gavin felt himself tense up. “Relax your shoulders a little,” Aaron went on, Michael obliged, “And pulled the string back. Don't release yet. Make sure your hand is touching your chin.”

Gavin could understand that Aaron was simply teaching Michael, but did his hand really have to stay where it was? Despite the weather being chillier than usual, Michael was still just wearing his tank top (did he think his beanie was going to keep him warm enough?), and Aaron's fingers were brushing against the exposed skin. It was like Gavin could see how harmless this all was, but as he watched the way those fingers trailed down Michael's arm a bit before letting go, he couldn't help himself. 

Michael shot the arrow and gasped quietly at the sight of it hitting the exact spot he'd been aiming for. Miles was just as surprised by this. Like with Miles, Aaron was proud. Michael put his arms down and returned the bow back to Miles, the corners of his mouth rising slowly as Aaron clapped for him.

“Oh, come on. You're not going to try again?” Aaron then asked.

“I-” Michael cut himself off as he noticed someone staring at them. He looked over and stiffened to find that it was Gavin. His eyes shifted down to the gun in Gavin's hand. 

“What are you doing?” the question came from Miles before Michael could even think of asking it. 

Gavin was squinting his eyes at Aaron, but he softened his expression for Miles, “Going for a walk,” he sounded so casual. 

“ _What_?” Michael practically hissed.

“You clearly heard what I said,” Gavin retorted. Michael merely furrowed his eyebrows at him. 

“Okay, Gavin,” Ray's came from the door. They all turned to look at him. “I volunteer to come with you on this little walk of yours so you don't end up getting outnumbered.”

“I'll be fine,” Gavin sharply answered, to which Ray didn't even bat an eye at. The Brit took a few steps away, but Michael rushed to jump in front of him. “Wha-”

“Ray, go back inside,” Michael said, giving Gavin the cruelest look, “I'll go with him.” Gavin narrowed his eyes at Michael.

Although Ray seemed a little unsure, he sighed. “Uh, alright then.”

“Great,” Michael smiled, his eyes never leaving Gavin's, “Let me just go back inside real quick to grab my knife and I'll be _right_ back.” The eye contact was then broken as Michael walked around him. Aaron and Miles were still staring, so Michael mouthed to them, “Make sure he doesn't leave.” before running into the house. 

Gavin looked over at them in annoyance and Miles raised his bow. 

“I'll shoot you if you try to run.”

Aaron just shook his head and lowered the bow. He also had to drop his gaze to the ground, because there was something extremely discomforting with the way Gavin was particularly staring at him. 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter: ["Bring Me Back To Life"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IztjWxOcouE) by Extreme Music. :)

Michael had probably only turned away once when he looked back and noticed how far up ahead Gavin now was from him. He groaned, knowing the bastard had purposely sped up. So without voicing his annoyance, Michael picked up his own pace and was soon walking in long strides beside Gavin. Gavin made sure eye contact was avoided at all costs. Something that was supposed to be his time away from everyone, specifically Michael, to clear his mind turned into _this,_ and Gavin wasn't even going to pretend he wasn't peeved off about it.

He abruptly turned down another street and felt a bit satisfied when he heard the huff Michael let out. _I didn't ask you to join me, so don't complain,_ he thought to himself, but he was _so_ tempted to say it loud and clear. Although, he realized how ridiculous this all was. Michael wasn't in the wrong at all and there was absolutely no reason for Gavin to be mad at him. Well, Gavin technically wasn't... it was more Aaron that he was irritated with, but since it had to with Michael, he was taking it out on him instead.

But the fact that Michael was here with him wasn't helping.

Why _was_ Michael with him anyway?

For the past few months, they had practically formed an unspoken agreement of staying out of each other's way as much as impossible when they weren't sleeping. What suddenly changed that? What suddenly made Michael want to make it even harder for Gavin to move on? Gavin couldn't deny it – he wasn't anywhere near moving on. Everyday and every time he saw Michael, saw the glimpse of the smile he had originally fallen in love with, he knew it wasn't possible to move on. Them not talking, however, had helped with at least suppressing back the feelings... that is until the memories would bring them back forward for a bit.

If they were going to start being on talking terms again, well, Gavin had no chance in moving on. Maybe that wouldn't be terrible, though. He also couldn't deny that he missed talking to Michael whenever he felt like it. Before they had gotten into a relationship, they were best friends. Despite everything that had gone through, all the bullshit and heartbreak, he believed they could revive that friendship. They were adults, mature enough to do that. Were they ready for that, to just be friends? Gavin wasn't sure.

“Can we stop for a little?” He heard Michael ask, barely realizing he'd started to trail behind again.

“Nope,” Gavin simply answered.

Michael stopped walking anyway, thinking Gavin would eventually, but as he saw that wasn't going to be the case, he called out for him. Gavin glanced at him over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at him, though he did also slow down before coming to a complete halt.

“I shouldn't have to wait around for you; you weren't supposed to come with me,” he remarked.

Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah? What was I gonna do? Let you come out here all by yourself.”

“I know how to protect myself, Michael. I've always have. I never needed to depend on you and I don't need to start now,” Gavin turned away and started walking again. Michael groaned in frustration and stomped his way toward him.

“I didn't fucking say you needed to depend on me, _Gavin._ I just felt better knowing you weren't alone.”

“You could have let Ray join me, then.”

Michael's eyes widened in disbelief, and a bit in anger. He finally managed to catch up with Gavin and placed his hand on his shoulder to spin him around. “What the fuck is your problem?” He asked the Brit.

“Right now? You,” Gavin sternly replied.

“Are you actually pissed at me for being here with you?”

“Something like that,” and Gavin tried walking away again, but Michael wasn't letting him.

“That's a pretty stupid reason to be mad at someone. I was starting to completely forgive and forget everything you did to me, but huh... maybe I should be stupid too and keep holding that grudge.”

“You can do whatever you'd like, Michael; I don't care anymore.”

Something flashed across Michael's face for a moment and Gavin recognized it as being wounded, even if it only lasted a second. Still, it was enough for Gavin to want to take back what he said. If he did want to try to be friends, he couldn't say things so awful.

“I... that sounded much more cruel than I intended,” he said.

Michael swallowed hard and shrugged. “You meant it, didn't you? It's how you really feel.”

“No, you can't _even_ begin to understand how I feel, Michael.”

“Then maybe you should _tell_ me how you feel!” Michael almost cut himself off, because he heard the sound of something drop to the ground. He only barely managed to glance down to see that it had been Gavin's gun before he was pushed up against the brick wall of the building next to them. His first instinct was to push Gavin away from him, especially with the menacing look in the Brit's eyes, but Michael felt his entire body freeze up the second Gavin's lips crashed roughly into his.

As soon as it registered in his mind, what exactly was happening between them, Michael opened his eyes wide and pulled back from the kiss. Gavin was already breathing heavily, along with his pupils dilating. Michael only then realized how fast his heart was now beating and Gavin wasn't helping by being _so_ close.

“What are you doing?” Michael finally asked, sounding just as breathless as Gavin apparently was.

Gavin brought his tongue out a little to wet his lips slowly and Michael's attention shifted to it (he could have cursed himself from the thought that crossed his mind). Gavin leaned in even closer to where their noses were touching and he whispered, “What you wanted, love... to show you how I really feel.” Michael wasn't even surprised at the chills that ran down his back at those words and the goosebumps that rose on his arms.

Gavin just _had_ to say it the way he had – sultry and smooth. He just _had_ to be looking at Michael with an expression that told Michael _every single little thing_ he was thinking – his hands that were beginning to wander up Michael's stomach added to it as well. But Michael could have resisted. He could have resisted and pulled away, but Gavin just _had_ to grin. It wasn't the kind of grin Michael had been used to – crooked and sweet. No, there was something completely different about it... something _enticing._ Something that made Michael bit down hard on his bottom lip and even shiver slightly.

That damn grin was how Michael found himself dropping his hunting knife and grabbing Gavin's face, making them relive their previous kiss. It was why he ended up being pressed harder against the wall because of Gavin's body being pressed against his. This way, Michael could feel... well, he could feel pretty much _everything_ Gavin was feeling. Gavin's heartbeat was in perfect rhythm with his, their lips were sloppily moving together, and Michael just wanted to get him closer, as if it were possible at this point.

However, Michael still attempted it by moving his hands down and wrapping his arms tightly around Gavin's waist. There actually _had_ been slight space between them, as they quickly discovered, because after Michael did that, their current states were then recognized. Michael gasped into Gavin's mouth at this and Gavin laughed weakly, though he was in the same sort of daze Michael was in.

“Gav-” but Michael wasn't able to get anymore words out. Gavin took Michael's lower lip between his teeth and tugged slightly, enough to get a reaction from him before letting go and moving lower to leave wet kisses anywhere skin was showing.

Michael moved his head to the side, exposing his neck more and he could _feel_ Gavin's smile against it. It seemed to do nothing but increase his frustration, so he brought his hand back up and gently grabbed a handful of Gavin's hair and Gavin knew Michael wasn't going to remain patient for much longer. The Brit pulled back and quickly unzipped his jacket before taking it off and tossing it aside. Michael removed his beanie off in one swift movement, but he stopped momentarily from pulling his tank top up and over his head to watch Gavin take his shirt off first. He sucked in the air sharply and Gavin groaned a little upon seeing him with his tank top still on that he moved forward to grab at it. Michael allowed him to do so, even putting his arms up to help.

Gavin let that tank top fling off to the side somewhere and pressed himself up against Michael once more, earning a pleasuring sound from him that sounded like one of the most beautiful things to his ears. Gavin leaned his head lower and Michael sighed deeply at the feel of those lips brushing against his collarbone before the Brit gently bit down. The hand that had a handful of Gavin's hair pulled at it a little and Gavin continued to suck the spot he'd bitten as his own hand trailed down Michael's bare stomach to reach the top of his jeans.

Michael pulled Gavin's head back to connect their lips together in a harsh kiss that seemed to _scream_ their neediness more than anything else. Once Gavin's hand rested on the button on Michael's jeans, the kiss was broken and Gavin averted his eyes to undo that button, along with practically yanking down the zipper. When he glanced back up, his heart picked up at even faster rate to find Michael grinning lopsidedly at him with half hooded eyes, and after taking a deep breath, he returned it.

 

* * *

 

“You know what I miss the most sometimes?” Miles asked Aaron as they walked back into the house after finishing off with the arrows.

“Sex?” Barbara suggested, waggling her eyebrows. Ray snorted and shook his head.

Miles only raised an eyebrow at her before giving his real answer, “Video games.” Everyone in the room seemed to collectively sigh in what sounded like nostalgia.

“I also miss being able to shower whenever I felt dirty,” Ray grumbled, uncapping his water bottle.

“You feeling _dirty,_ Ray?” Barbara asked, though her lips twitching up gave away to the act she was trying to portray. Ryan furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back and forth between the two. Barbara allowed herself to laugh as she waved him off and Ray flashed Ryan his most innocent smile.

“Okay, well,” Jack said as he stood up from his seat, “It really doesn't look like it's going to be rain again, so anyone want to go out there with me? I'm actually getting bored in here.”

“Gavin and Michael are already out, though,” Arryn reminded him.

“Yeah, but Gavin went out for a _walk,_ so I doubt they'll be coming back with anything. Michael just went to make sure Gavin didn't die.”

“Something tells me he's dead anyway,” Barbara said under her breath, which got them all to turn their heads and look at her. She looked up and raised her eyebrows to see them staring. “Uh, well, I'm not the only one who clearly knows that things between have been... what's the nicest way I can put it – um, awkward? And Ray let Michael go with him even though he knew that.”

“What was I supposed to say? No?” Ray asked, squinting his eyes. “You didn't see the way Michael was looking at him. I didn't want that look directed to _me_.”

“It was pretty scary,” Miles agreed with a nod.

“Back to what I originally said,” Jack spoke up, stopping anyone else from adding in their input, “Someone want to go out there with me?”

“Yeah,” Ryan nodded, “I'll go with you. Who knows, maybe we'll run into them and drag their sorry selves back home.” Jack laughed at that, unable to disagree.

“Anyone else?” He then asked, still chuckling a little. Ryan smiled at him.

Barbara reached for her bowie knife off the coffee table, but before she could get the words out, someone else did.

“I'll go!” it had been Arryn. Barbara blinked and looked over at her to see she already had her hammer in hand and a determined expression on her face. She was more ready than any of them could be at such short notice.

Without anyone saying anything to her, Arryn made her way to Jack and Ryan. Miles' jaw slowly dropped, but who was he to stop her? In fact, he knew very well that she was good at taking care of herself, even on her own, but the nerves of her being out there were still present. Jack didn't even bat an eye at this; he turned around and led the way out of the house with Ryan behind him and Arryn following suit.

“We'll be back before the sun sets!” Jack called out, waving a hand behind him. Arryn stopped in her tracks a second to glance back at Miles and flash him a reassuring smile. The corners of Miles' lips also rose, but he stood there by the doorway and watched until the three of them were out of sight.

 

* * *

 

Neither Michael nor Gavin said a word to each other as they began putting their clothes back on. They made sure to have their backs to one another as well. After zipping his jeans back up, Michael bent down and picked up his beanie, wiping off a bit of it before putting it on his head, flattening down his curls that Gavin had so shamelessly messed with. He looked himself up and down to make sure he appeared okay, and then he forced himself to turn around to see if Gavin was also finished. And he was.

When their eyes locked, Michael could see the shade of red Gavin's cheeks currently were and how swollen his lips still appeared to be, but he was sure he looked exactly the same way. Michael cleared his throat and Gavin looked away to crouch down and grab his gun. Michael did the same with his knife and they both stood slowly, as if unsure what to do next.

No doubt everyone else back at the house would have a field day once they noticed the small dark marks around Michael's collarbone and upper chest. Perhaps it was time for him to wear something more covering.

“I... uh, guess we should get going then...” he said softly.

Gavin checked his weapon to make sure it was loaded and ready before nodding. “We have been out for a while now, haven't we?” He couldn't even look Michael in the eye while asking that. Earlier, when he had seen Michael with Aaron, anger had stirred within him, and then he had mentally decided that he couldn't be angry with Michael if he wanted a friendship to form between... so much for being friends now. Well, that didn't mean they _couldn't_ be friends, but if Michael knew what was running through him and his mind after that, he didn't know if Michael could put them being friends as an option.

Either way, Michael ignored Gavin's question as they started walking forward, looking down more than at anything else. The wind blew, brushing harshly against their skin and Gavin glanced over at Michael who had more skin showing for that wind to be harsh to.

“Are you... are you cold?” He asked him.

Michael swallowed the lump beginning to form in his throat. “No, I'm actually pretty warm now,” he smiled slyly and Gavin felt himself instantly relax at the sight of it. It also gave him the courage to say what he said next.

“I want to apologize for the attitude I gave you a while ago.”

Michael turned his head and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, what was _that_ about?”

“That was me being... me,” Gavin answered with a shrug. “That's the only way I can explain it, because there was no real reason for me to act like that.”

“Alright, well, I guess I get it, then.”

Part of Gavin wanted to just tell him the whole truth, that yes, he'd gotten ridiculously jealous, but then he decided maybe they could leave that for another day when they were in a better place. Maybe then they could have a laugh about it.

“Again, I'm sorry,” he told him instead.

Michael shook his head. “It's... it's okay,” he halted in his tracks and Gavin did so a second after. They merely stared at each other for a moment as Michael seemed to be choosing his next words carefully. “I'm tired, Gavin,” he started, the look on his face of urgency and Gavin had to hold back wanting to pull him into his arms, “I'm tired of us being the way we are. I'm tired of us acting like we never fucking cared about each other. I'm tired of getting into bed every night with you and not saying-”

“I'm sorry to interrupt this _sweet_ little moment-” a strange voice cut Michael off, and they both spun around to find three people walking up to them, but it was the woman on the left that particularly caught Michael and Gavin's attention.

Michael held his breath as he stared at her and Gavin's lips parted, followed by his eyes widening.

“Lindsay,” Gavin mouthed to her and the flash of recognition that crossed her features was the only response he received from her before the stern expression she was previously wearing returned. Michael had seen it all, too, and he furrowed his eyebrows at her.

“I have a reason to believe that your group has something of mine that I want back,” the man standing in the middle, the person who had interrupted them in the first place, was speaking again.

Gavin blinked and looked at him. “What are you on about?”

The man had a smirk on his face, a truly irritating one to look at. “Oh, don't play dumb with me; I'm sure you know _exactly_ what I'm referring to.”

Michael and Gavin turned to face each other, confusion washing over them.

“Listen, asshole,” Michael spoke, shifting his eyes to him, “If we _knew_ what you were talking about, we wouldn't ask.”

The man's smirk seemed to increase. “Okay, maybe you don't know, but if you think hard enough, you'll figure it out.” Michael just rolled his eyes as Gavin tightened his grip on his gun and peeked a glance toward Lindsay to find she was staring intently at it.

“Alright, how about this...” the man took a step toward them and sighed, “let's make a deal: you give me back what belongs to me _or_ I take something from you,” and the way his eyes flickered to Michael made Gavin stiffen.

The Brit slowly stepped in front of Michael, shielding him from the man's gaze and the man feigned a pout.

“Aw, well isn't that _precious_?” He mocked. Gavin narrowed his eyes at him while Michael's expression softened as he stared at the back of Gavin's head.

Lindsay swallowed hard, because seeing how much those two still cared for each other, especially after what she could remember happened to their relationship, was comforting. But she couldn't allow the other two with her to know that.

“I'll give you guys until tomorrow in the evening to make your decision,” the man went on to speak and Michael scoffed, so he added, “Don't underestimate me and don't think I'm kidding around. I know _exactly_ where your group is staying and I'll be there tomorrow evening.”

“But we don't know-”

“Adam,” the man said, looking over at the other guy that was with them who honestly appeared more intimidating than him, “Lindsay,” he only snapped his fingers at her instead of facing her. Michael curled one hand into a tight fist at that, but he remained still behind Gavin. “Let's go,” the man demanded before turning around and heading off.

Adam wasted no time in following. Lindsay, however, lingered behind a moment, looking as though she wanted to say something but couldn't. Michael and Gavin returned her gaze and just as Michael was ready to ask her _why_ , the man – the “leader” – called her.

“ _Lindsay_!” He sounded so impatient that it made Lindsay jump at the sound of her own name. She didn't hesitate for a bit to hurry over to catch with him and Adam and Michael was almost tempted to go after her, but he was stopped when his eyes met the leader's.

That man's expression was anything but friendly, but as soon as he had Michael's attention, a devious smirk made its way across his face. He even winked at Michael before turning away to continue walking. Michael snarled at him, feeling his blood begin to boil underneath his skin, but then Gavin gently touched his arm.

“We really should get back to the house now,” Gavin told him.

“What do you think he wants?” Michael asked, staring hard in the direction they had left in.

“Honestly?” Gavin sighed. “I think he was only trying to scare us, Michael. I'm sure he doesn't know who is even apart of our group or where we're staying at. I bet that is just a tactic of his to get whatever he can get. I have to hand it to him; it is pretty clever, but we're smarter than that, so there's nothing for us to worry about. Now we should go-”

“And Lindsay,” Michael averted his eyes, his face falling, “did you see the way she was acting?”

“Well, in this world, you'll do just about anything to survive, even if that means ending up in a group with an arse of a leader. She was clearly conflicted over seeing that it was us, but what could she have done? She's frightened of angering him.”

Michael shook his head and scrunched his nose as he turned to look at Gavin. “We _have_ to help her.”

“Michael-”

“No, Gavin! We _have_ to! We-”

“Hey,” Gavin stopped him, cupping his face and ignoring the small ache inside as he noticed Michael's eyes watering.

“It's just... I _finally_ see my best friend, after being worried that maybe she was dead, and I can't even _do_ anything about it,” Michael said, his voice barely a whisper. Gavin leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. Michael's eyebrows twitched together when Gavin pulled away.

“We'll tell everyone else about this. We'll figure out what to do together,” the Brit suggested. Michael gently grabbed Gavin's wrists and took his hands off his face. Gavin tilted his head, staring at him questioningly, but Michael gave him no answer as he let go and rushed back down the street they had entered through.

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter is "[Poison & Wine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBicqqc_UWg)" by The Civil Wars.

The sound of her stepping on something that made a clinking noise when the bottom of her shoe made contact with it had Arryn jumping back and looking to see what it was. There was a necklace on the ground, a locket it seemed, and she bent down to pick it up. As she wiped off a bit of mud that was covering the golden heart shaped locket, she found herself hesitant to open it. Would that even be okay to do? Well, it wasn't as though she was opening up some sacred diary or something, but she wondered if she really wanted to see what was inside.

With a sign, she opened it anyway and the instant regret that followed wasn't even surprising. A photo of a mother holding her newborn baby in her arms as she smiled up at the camera. Arryn felt her breath hitch in her throat as she dropped the necklace and took another step back from it. Its sound as it hit the ground was enough to draw Jack's attention to her.

“Arryn?” He asked, voice gentle.

Arryn released her breath and brought a hand up to her mouth, her vision slowly blurring as her eyes began to sting. Jack hurried over toward her, his own hand going to her back to rub small circles in an attempt to soothe the pain he saw written all over her face before it could get worse.

“What's wrong?” Though Jack looked down at the necklace and raised an eyebrow questioningly as he met her eye.

“It's not her... I know it's not... but she looks... _so much_ like my mom,” Arryn managed to choke out before the tears started to fall down her face. Confused, Jack grabbed the necklace from the ground and unlocked it to see for himself, and then he understood. His expression softened and he tossed the necklace aside, his heart dropping as he worried about two people he didn't even know.

“It's not her,” Jack parroted with a nod. When Arryn let out a small whimper, he frowned and gently wrapped an arm around her. “It's not her... she's okay. _You're_ okay. It's-”

“The thing is, we don't know for sure!” Arryn blurted, pulling away from him to steady herself. She wiped her face with the backs of her hands and spun around to face him. “We don't know _anything_! And we probably never will! Everyone we've ever been close to is probably dead, or long gone. Whether we make it out alive and things somehow go back to they way they were, who knows if we'll ever seen _any_ of them again!

“And I guess I should be grateful, right? Because I have Miles with me, and yes, I thank every single thing for that, but... it... everything else, _it's not fair_ ,” her voice went a little high there as another sob tried escaping her. Jack could see how hard she was squeezing the muscles in her face, forcing back anymore tears as best as she possibly could. She brought a fist up to her mouth and shook her head.

“Fancy seeing you two here,” Jack heard Gavin say, and he turned around to see him and Michael walking up to them.

The closer they approached, the better Michael could hear the soft sniffling coming from Arryn, but he couldn't see her face – her back was to them. He turned his attention fully to her but Jack stopped him before he could try asking what was going on.

“We had a feeling we would end up running into you both.”

Gavin blinked, completely ignoring that and he looked over at Arryn, “Are you okay?” Michael was almost thankful that he had asked what he wanted to.

Arryn took a deep, shaky breath (which definitely didn't go unnoticed but did, for her sake, go unquestioned) and quickly wiped her face more. “U-um, I'm going to get Ryan,” she was speaking fast and wasted no time in hurrying up to the building on their right. Michael made a move of going after her, especially from seeing the sketchiness of the tall place Ryan was apparently in, though she disappeared inside of it within seconds and he felt reluctant in doing so.

“Let's give her time,” Jack told him and Gavin, “if she doesn't want to talk about it, respect that.”

“I was only trying to be nice by asking,” Gavin defended himself.

“I didn't say you weren't being nice,” Jack then turned to Michael, “Since you two still seem alive, I'm assuming things didn't get as bad as we feared. Actually, _you_ look better than you did when you left.” Michael's eyes widened slightly and he immediately tugged his tank top up higher from its collar. Luckily, Jack didn't bother to look and see what he was hiding. Gavin merely smirked to himself a little before his bland expression returned.

“Why are you three out here in the first place?” He asked.

“Being held up in a house can make you bored sometimes, Gavin,” Jack told him.

“I'll tell you something, I wish I would have just stayed at the house.”

“Why's that?”

“Because- ow!” Gavin yelped, jumping at the sudden pinch Michael gave him on the arm. He glared at Michael but quickly closed his mouth at the threatening look Michael was staring at him with. Jack studied the two of them; they seemed to be having some sort of silent argument that involved their eyes and a few hand movements, but Jack couldn't tell what the hell it was about.

Ryan was ready to turn a corner and enter a room where a freakishly large amount of growls and groans were coming from when he heard Arryn calling out for him. Ryan stiffened as he looked forward where her voice had come through and swallowed nervously as dragged footsteps neared from beyond the wall.

“Ryan!” Arryn tried again and it was the exhaustion in her voice that made him peel himself away from the wall to meet her halfway. “Ry-” and she was stopped from yelling out once more by him coming into her view.

Ryan's eyebrows twitched together as he noticed her red, puffy eyes. “Hey, what's wrong?” He kept his voice quiet.

She waved him off. “Let's just go,” she was just as quiet. Because of that, Ryan didn't try to argue. He followed her out, glancing over his shoulder every now and so just in case, but nothing seemed to be going after them.

“Michael and Gavin found us,” Arryn whispered back to him when they got closer to the exit. Ryan pushed away the urge to ask her again what was wrong and simply sighed.

“That's good,” he eventually said as they stepped through the door and he looked over to find the exact two people they were talking about. “Oh, so they didn't kill each other.”

“They're in love with each other, so of course they didn't,” Arryn barely said loud enough for him to hear. She wandered back to Michael, Gavin, and Jack and _hoped_ her face didn't give away too much. If it did, she at least hope it wouldn't by the time they reached the house.

“We're heading back empty handed, then?” Jack asked them, not that he sounded like he minded. Ryan gave him a nod and gestured down the street. They both started to lead the walk with Arryn trailing just behind them. Michael and Gavin purposely lingered much more behind, taking slow and small steps.

“You don't want them to know, do you?” Gavin asked in a hushed tone.

“No, Gavin, I _don't._ We're not telling them _anything_ about what happened,” Michael answered through gritted teeth.

“I think they have a right to know, Michael; they are part of it.”

“Not really.”

“Well, if that arse is claiming that we have something of his, then yes, they are. We don't know what that thing is and if we don't give it to them, then,” Gavin paused, his gaze dropping to the ground.

“Then they want me,” Michael finished for him.

Gavin laughed weakly, “That's not going to happen.” And since there was no other response from Michael, Gavin's face hardened. “Michael?”

“Let's just hurry up and catch up with them; I'm fucking exhausted,” Michael spoke as he started picking up his pace.

Gavin halted in his tracks long enough to curse under his breath without Michael or the others hearing him. Was this how it would be between him and Michael from now on? Good one second ( _very_ good, for that matter) and then messy to the point where their conversations would abruptly end or else it would turn into an argument? Gavin rolled his eyes at the thought of it. It was starting remind him a lot of why they were separated at the beginning of all of this.

Once they got back to the house, the others were surprised to find they really didn't have anything with them, but they did sense something was off, and it wasn't just with one of them. No, there was something odd with the way Arryn looked to be struggling with keeping the smile on her face as Miles talked to her, as if it was painful for her to even try to smile. There was a different kind of awkwardness in the way Michael and Gavin avoided looking at each other. Ray had a feeling it probably had to do with the more than obvious love bites on Michael's skin (something he didn't verbally comment on, but Michael saw him staring).

Overall, the three of them were hiding something and it was making Ryan and Jack look a little uneasy as well, which was then carried over onto Ray, Barbara, Miles, and Aaron. Needless to say, anytime any of them interacted with each other throughout the remainder of the day, it was anything but comfortable. Oh but how they tried to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary.

Michael ended up helping Ryan with making something for dinner with what they had still stored in the cabinets for the sake of not getting caught up alone with Gavin somewhere. Gavin knew that, too, so he decided to help by staying away from the kitchen until the meal was prepared. None of them dared to utter a word as they ate in dark silence, only a few candles lit around them to give them some way to see. It was evident how badly Ray, Barbara, Miles, and Aaron wanted to ask, but anytime any of them opened their mouths to do so, they would see a certain look on one of the others' faces and give up.

It wasn't until everyone headed to their own rooms to sleep when the tension seemed to finally stop. Barbara and Aaron were the only ones left in the living room. She was grabbing a drink for herself and him in the kitchen and walked back over to where he was sitting to hand him his.

“Thanks,” he smiled at her and they clinked their glasses together before taking a sip. “What a day, huh?” He asked after he swallowed, setting the glass down on the coffee table.

Barbara sighed. “I don't think we've had such a bad day since... well, since before we met you.”

“What do you think is going on?”

“My best guess is... Michael and Gavin got a little busy with each other, but I can't decide whether they regret it or something else happened afterward.”

“Wait, how would you know that?”

Barbara narrowed her eyes at me. “While we were cleaning up after dinner, Ray told me to look closely at Michael and I saw he had hickeys. He didn't have those before he left and who was he out there with?” She smirked. “You can't convince me Ryan or Jack gave those to him and _definitely_ not Arryn.”

“It was dark... I didn't notice them,” Aaron admitted, staring off as he tried thinking back to how Michael looked.

“Probably a good thing for him,” Barbara told him. She took a bigger sip of her drink before setting it down next to his on the table. “There's also something going on with Arryn. My best guess with her is she saw something, something that really got to her. What that something was... I have no idea and that's what bothers me the most.”

“You're kind of good at this, you know?”

“What?”

“At reading people. I just thought they all had an argument about not finding anything.”

Barbara's lips curled up and she patted Aaron's thigh. “You have to start thinking a little better. Or, I guess I just know them all well enough, especially Arryn,” she turned her attention toward her hands, “She was the first one I got close with when I joined the group and even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to get close to anyone again, she made it easy and I felt secure for the first time in forever.” Her eyebrows then rose as she shifted in her seat.

“I have a story I still owe you, don't I?” she asked.

“One you don't have to tell if you aren't up for it,” Aaron assured her, already able to see the dread she had in her eyes.

“No,” she shook her head. “I want to. I... I think I'm ready.” To prepare herself, she grabbed her drink and sipped on it again before clearing her throat. “Okay, I'm sure you knew about those safety places they tried throwing everyone in at the start of this?” Aaron merely nodded. “Yep, one of them was my home for a good three weeks, not even a month. Hmm, the good times...”

“They wouldn't even let me into those,” Aaron spoke, “Because I refused to leave my best friend behind. So they told me I wouldn't fit in anyway.”

“Let me just tell you, you got lucky,” Barbara said, staring at him with an expression he couldn't quite read. “I don't know why they tried making it seem like those places were actual safety when I feel like we're safer out here than anyone would ever be in there. Okay, I wasn't there that long, but I was there long enough to know I would never go back even if I could. Once you left, you were gone, dead in their eyes, basically. Sometimes they would kick you out, other times you would have to just escape.

“So, I escaped. The funny thing is, though, is that even though I knew the way they treated us was terrible and disgusting, I was still going to tough it out and stay there, because I was scared. I did want to believe _so hard_ that I would be better off in there than alone outside. I mean, I was already alone in there, but at least there were other people around that I could talk to, which is exactly what I did.

“And there was this girl,” Barbara stopped talking for a moment as she bit down idly on her lower lip and her eyebrows squeezing together, “It really only took us a few days for us to become friends. She was an absolute sweetheart who, not only made sure I was okay everyday, but pretty much everyone else, too. Everyday, I just looked forward to talking to her, because after just two weeks in there, I felt like I was losing my sanity, but she would help me relax. I didn't even have to talk to her about what was going on in my mind... she would just know.”

Barbara took another pause to close her eyes, shuddering a little and Aaron grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers together. She said nothing about it, but judging by the faint smile she gave him when she opened her eyes, she was thankful for that.

“She got sick,” Barbara whispered and Aaron frowned, already knowing what that meant. “Only I knew, though. We were ordered to tell one of the people in charge whenever we were sick, but I _begged_ her not to. She told me and I remember it word for word perfectly... 'Barbara, they have to know. It's okay. I'll just go tell real quick and I'll meet you back at your room.' even though I was a little nervous about letting her go, I nodded and watched her walk off. 'I'll be right back' she called out to me, cheerful as always. So, I waved and smiled and went back to my room.

“I thought, you know, maybe she's right – maybe it really would just be her telling them so they could give her some medication and check to see what was actually wrong and she would be sent on her way. How wrong I was, though,” Barbara inhaled sharply and let it out slowly, “The sun was setting when I heard it... the gunshot. I instantly panicked and ran out of my room. I kept telling myself, _over and over_ , that it was probably just a gunshot from over the walls, but then... the closer I got to one of the main offices, the better I could see them carrying out a body... and then I got close enough to see... it was her,” she practically mouthed those last words as she shut her eyes again.

Aaron sighed in defeat as he saw the tear roll down her cheek. What she had just said was what he was expecting, but hearing her say it with the most quiet voice he'd ever hear her use, wasn't bearable. With his free hand, Aaron gently wiped the tear away and stopped his movements when he noticed her leaning into his touch.

“I told her not to tell them,” she whispered.

“It's not your fault,” he whispered back.

“After that,” she continued, ignoring what he had said, “I knew I was done. I was done pretending like I was safe in there, because if they honestly had the nerve to kill someone over some paranoia about their sickness or whatever the fuck their _reason_ was, then I wasn't safe at all. I had to leave. I had to get out fast.

“I went into her room after everyone else was asleep and started to pack. She had always been more prepared than me, so I trusted her stuff over my own. I grabbed her spare pair of cargo pants, her black combat boots, and the bowie knife she kept hidden underneath her mattress,” as Barbara spoke, she reached over and grabbed the mentioned weapon off the side table. She held it up for Aaron to see and her smile turned a little sad because of the look of realization that crossed Aaron's face.

Aaron blinked hard and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “How did you actually escape?”

Barbara tilted her head slightly as if considering his question carefully, or perhaps just thinking back to the event, but either way, it took her a while to answer. When she did, her eyes sparkled and she twirled the knife in her other hand, “Rest in peace to those who were guarding the gate that night.”

* * *

 

Michael was constantly moving around on the bed, failing at finding a spot where he could fall asleep comfortably. He would move every single time Gavin was starting to drift off, and after a long while, the Brit grew tired of it.

“Michael,” he groaned, flipping over to see Michael lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

“ _What_?” Michael asked. It was obvious he wasn't even going to try to be friendly.

Gavin shook his head. “I should be the one asking _you_ that. What is going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“That's bullshit.”

“Shut up and just go to sleep, Gavin,” Michael grumbled as he turned over onto his side.

“I would like to, but _you_ aren't letting me!”

“Oh, sure, blame me.”

“You are kind of to blame here.”

“Well after tonight you won't have to worry about me interrupting your sleep,” Michael said, though it sounded like something he hadn't meant to say. Gavin even thought he heard him gasp a little.

“What do you mean?” Gavin asked quietly, sitting up to peek over him and see his face.

Michael noticed this and waved him off as he sat up as well. “Gavin, if we don't give them something, who knows what the fuck they'll do...”

“I'm going to stick with what I told you after they left, in which they _don't_ know where we are and were just trying to scare us.”

“But what if they _do_ know?”

Gavin flailed his arms around as he started to make a bunch of incoherent noises that could come off as extremely whiny and something only a child would do, but Michael hated to admit how used to this he was. So, he furrowed his eyebrows and just waited until Gavin could manage to form actual words.

“That is why I wanted to tell everyone, Michael,” Gavin harshly whispered to him.

“I didn't want everyone to worry,” Michael returned the same amount of sharpness with his tone.

“What now, then?” Gavin widened his eyes. “If you really think they're going to show up tomorrow, what do you plan on doing?”

“It started with you being asleep, but I guess I have to just move onto to step two,” Michael said as he threw the covers off himself. Gavin began sputtering again as he watched Michael stand up from the bed and walk over to his backpack in the corner.

Michael huffed. “God damnit, Gavin. _Words._ Use them.”

“What the bloody hell are you doing?”

“We don't know if we really have something of theirs, but if they determined to believe that and they show up here tomorrow evening and we don't give them anything...” Michael shook his head, “They'll probably hurt us, Gav. I-I can't risk that.”

“So, what? You're going to give yourself to them so they'll leave the rest of us alone?”

“They did say it was either what they want or me.”

Gavin felt his jaw fall open but Michael didn't notice it from being too busy with opening up his backpack to check what was inside.

“You... you were going to leave without telling me, were you?”

A lump started to slowly form in Michael's throat and he swallowed in hopes that it would go away, but the guilt that was picking at him because yes, his plan did consist of leaving in the middle of the night, was preventing it from going away completely.

“Like I said, my plan started with you being asleep,” he answered, unable to make eye contact.

“So that I could wake up with you gone?” Gavin asked, “So that I could wake up wondering where the hell you are and never getting the real answer?”

Michael honestly couldn't help the laugh that came out, despite the daggers Gavin was shooting at him with those eyes.

“Sounds familiar, doesn't it?” Michael questioned him after he got himself to stop laughing. The way Gavin's face went from silent shock to absolute frustration within seconds was a little impressive and Michael was starting to regret saying anything at all. Yet, he didn't take it back.

“This is _nothing_ like that, Michael,” Gavin hissed. Michael averted his eyes, wanting to remain silent, but Gavin wasn't letting him. “What was the second part of this plan? _Hmm_?” Michael couldn't deny how much it did sting to hear Gavin talk to him with such bitter taste in his words.

“What I'm doing right now,” Michael responded quietly, like a child who had just been scolded by their parent.

“What's that?” Gavin asked. Of course what Michael was doing was clear to him, could be clear to anyone, except he felt as though he needed to hear it, so he asked. Maybe if he heard it, he could realize he was just dreaming and wake up.

Michael stopped fiddling around with the zippers on his backpack and finally looked up at Gavin. “Just go to sleep.” He hesitated before moving his own backpack out of the way to pull Geoff's forward. Gavin said nothing as he watched Michael unzip it and reach in to pull the gun out.

Holding the weapon in his hands, Michael pursed his lips and Gavin wondered if there were anything to say. Once Michael stuffed the gun into his backpack, he closed both of them up and got to his feet, putting the straps of his bag over his shoulders. That's when it dawned on Gavin that this was, in fact, no dream at all.

“Michael,” he tried, sounding softer than he had wanted.

“Gavin, please. _Please,_ don't make this harder than it has to be.”

“What do you plan on doing? You don't know where they are right now.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah, you're right, I don't. That was another reason why I decided to leave right now, so that I could have all day if I needed it to find their location without them getting here first.”

“That is...” Gavin groaned, curling his hands into tight fists, “That is quite possibly the _weakest_ plan you have ever come up with.”

“Yeah, but it's _my_ plan and I'm going _through_ with it!” Michael was going to continue to shout, until he remembered that he and Gavin weren't the only ones in the house and everyone else was most likely fast asleep. He took a deep breath to steady himself and turned away from the anger that was Gavin's face.

“So, that's it?” Gavin was asking, “You leave and I never see you again?”

“This is my way of keeping you safe, Gavin. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they hurt you and I was able to do something to stop it. And it's not like I'm going to be alone...” Michael stuck his tongue out to wet his lips, “Lindsay will be there and you'll be here, with a group you knew, with people you trust,” he glanced back at Gavin, “We'll both be okay.”

“No,” Gavin snapped, close to cutting Michael off from talking, “ _I_ won't be okay, Michael. I'm honestly surprised that you would think this was a good idea!”

“Why do you say 'was'? I haven't finished with it yet.”

“That's because you won't finish it,” Gavin was standing with his arms crossed that made him resemble such a stubborn child, especially with the pout he was putting on. If this were any other time, Michael probably would have laughed and rolled his eyes at the ridiculous sight, but considering the situation, he felt his shoulders slump instead.

“I've already made up my mind, Gav. So, just...” He trailed off, unknowing what else he could be said now. He turned to the door, beginning to hope he could be quiet enough to sneak past Aaron in the living room without waking him. Originally, he had planned to sneak out through the window, but he highly doubted Gavin would let him pass.

“I'll, um...” again, he stopped himself.

Gavin widened his eyes. What was Michael trying to say? _Goodbye_? Was that an attempt at a 'goodbye'? “Wha- no!” The Brit sputtered before racing over to Michael and slamming the door shut with his hand just as Michael opened it a bit. Michael closed his eyes momentarily, suddenly feeling too tired to argue further.

“Gavin,” he clenched his teeth. If he couldn't win with words, maybe he could succeed with glares.

“Michael,” Gavin said back, the same tone, surprising him.

Michael turned himself fully around and they came face-to-face with each other. As he thought over something else he could try to do to make Gavin back away from him, his eyes shifted down to notice the necklace dangling from Gavin's neck. It wasn't hidden inside his shirt as it usually was and because of that, Michael sighed and gently patted his jean pocket to feel his in there. He never bothered to try fixing it so that he could wear around his neck again, but after a while, he figured there was no use. Now he wished he had. Gavin must have noticed since he grabbed at the pendant and Michael looked back up to find a lopsided smile on his face.

“You told me you were tired of us being the way we have been lately... tired of us acting like we never cared about each other,” he said. Michael simply nodded, making Gavin's smile grow. “Yeah, me too.” The Brit let go of the pendant and reached down with both hands to grab and hold Michael's, all while Michael felt too dumbfounded to speak.

“I miss us, Michael, so I'm _begging_ you,” he gave Michael's hands a tight squeeze and brought them up closer to his mouth, “to _stay._ ” Michael's expression softened into a blank one, his brows loosening and his lips setting into a straight line; Gavin was almost afraid that he was also going to pull his hands away, so he was tempted to hold on tighter, just for a little longer, but Michael didn't pull away.

Michael didn't do anything for what felt much too long. They stood there, staring at one another as if the answers to their unspoken questions would be found if they remained quiet. Gavin wanted to ask Michael if there was any hope and Michael wanted to ask _why_ Gavin had to make something that was supposed to be easy so _god damn_ difficult, but then again, he kind of already knew the answer anyway.

Because Gavin was Gavin, and that was what he did.

Deciding it was probably no more use, Gavin dropped Michael's hands and took a step back to allow him some space. He hoped Michael would just walk out without another word, because he wasn't sure if he could even handle prolonging this more than it needed to anymore.

But then slowly, the corners of Michael's lips rose up as he said he started to take the backpack's straps off his shoulders. Gavin held his breath as he watched Michael set it back down next to Geoff's and a grin formed on his face when he saw Michael walking up to him afterward. Michael nodded toward the bed just as he began to yawn and Gavin laughed, and as he laughed, it felt as though some weight lifted off him.

They both headed to the bed together, getting in at the same time as they realized just how much they yearned for sleep. Once Gavin was settled on his back, Michael pushed back the nerves of what would come the next evening and for the first time since before their breakup, he curled up to Gavin. Gavin's lips twitched upward at this. He turned his head and rested the side of his on top of Michael's hair while placing a hand on Michael's forearm. For a moment, he merely absentmindedly stared at the tattoos there until his heavy eyelids finally drooped shut on their own term.

Before he fell completely asleep, he could have sworn he heard Michael mumble “I love you.”

 


	25. Chapter 25

There was a moment in the middle of the night where Ray was woken up by what sounded like shouting, but it was distant and ended almost instantly. He sat up slightly in the bed, careful as to not wake Ryan, and listened harder. No other sound came. Apparently whoever had decided to be yelling at... whatever time in the morning it was realized they were being a little too loud.

Ray groaned and rested his head back on the pillow, making a mental note of figuring out who that might have been. It was obviously someone inside the house, because they _may_ have sounded far, but still close enough. And the more he thought about it as he tried falling back asleep, he was starting to have a pretty good feeling as to who it was.

Which was why he was heading right for Michael and Gavin's bedroom as soon as he woke in the morning. If those two were having what he believed was an argument the night before, then he hoped he wouldn't end up getting in between them now if they had fallen asleep without making up. With a sigh, Ray brought his fist up and started knocking on the door.

No answer.

He rolled his eyes and tried again.

Not even a peep, or at least not one he could hear.

There was quite a lot of hesitation in his next move, so much that he was thinking he needed to just walk away and talk to them later, but then he shook his head and grabbed the doorknob. He wasn't about to deny that Michael and Gavin's attitude toward each other didn't bother him. And Michael wasn't allowed to come back with hickeys only to argue with the person who gave them to him later that night. He knew he couldn't control their actions and tell them to play nice – it was their problem, not his, but if he could sort of _help_ , then that would be enough for him.

But when he did open the door, he was hit with the reason _why_ he needed to stay out of their business. On top of the bed, Gavin was lying on his back while Michael was hovering above him slightly as they tentatively explored each other's mouth.

“Oh, _god_ ,” Ray almost shouted, cowering away. Gavin broke the kiss to make a noise of surprise but Michael didn't bother to pay any attention to Ray as he began to trail small kisses around Gavin's jawline.

“ _Michael_!” Gavin whined, frantically trying to get up from underneath. “It's _Ray_!” But Ray was already out of there, the door slamming shut behind him. Michael was continuing to act as though he was oblivious to what had just happened and moved his head lower to leave those kisses on the side of Gavin's neck now. And Gavin could hardly find himself caring anymore. He leaned his head back further but Michael was merely focused on one area, right where his pulse was. Gavin hummed contently and brought his hand up to scratch the back of Michael's head gently.

“You're terrible, you know that?” He mused, using his other hand to pull Michael's body down against his. Michael didn't allow it, much to Gavin's slight annoyance – if the small groan he made was any indication. Michael stopped to snicker and lifted his head to grin lazily at Gavin.

“Very terrible,” Gavin grumbled.

“Oh, yeah?” Michael asked in such a hushed tone, close to a murmur. He leaned his face closer until their noses were touching and Gavin was practically squirming under him as he laughed softly. “Do you want,” Michael paused to place one kiss on Gavin's lips, “me to stop?” and then another, and another, and another, until he moved up to do the same process around Gavin's face.

Gavin's eyes fluttered shut as he smiled. When was the last time he felt this comfortable? Michael's soft lips leaving little wet marks across his face was making it all to easy for him to want to fall back asleep. Michael noticed this, because he pulled away a bit and tilted his head as he stared at him. But then a smirk formed as he allowed one of his hands to travel down Gavin's stomach and he wanted to laugh over how Gavin's eyes sprung wide open.

When Ray arrived into the kitchen, his face was pale enough to draw attention. Miles tilted his head as he stared questioningly at him while Jack glanced back and forth between Ray and everyone else in the room. Barbara furrowed her brow as she asked, “What's going on, Ray?”

Ray shuddered as he thought back to it. The actual situation itself hadn't disgusted him or anything, but just the fact that he had barged in there and caught him in that position was... _surprising,_ to say the least.

“Uh, Michael and Gavin are good,” he mumbled, walking over to the cabinets.

Miles snorted and quickly brought his fist up to his mouth to prevent a louder laugh from escaping. Barbara nudged him with her elbow, despite the fact that she had the urge to laugh a little over the ordeal as well. Simply biting down on her lip did the trick to resist.

“That's good?” Jack tried, understanding the situation but unsure why it was apparently so hilarious. Ray said nothing else on the subject, because he was indeed happy that the two were _finally_ okay.

“Anyway,” Ryan spoke up then and everyone turned their attentions to him, “What do we have for breakfast?”

* * *

 

Leaving one more chaste kiss upon Gavin's lips, Michael rolled himself off of him and turned his head toward the window where dark clouds were seen. When had they last seen the sun? It seemed everyday was gloomier than the last. He frowned, the threat from the day before coming forward, and... Lindsay. He had seen Lindsay, after such a terribly long time, he'd seen her again, and she was on an enemy's side. He almost rolled his eyes at the thought. No, that man – the _leader_ – wasn't going to become their problem. They had managed to go this long without getting on someone's bad side and they would certainly keep up that streak, Michael would make sure of it.

Thing was, he just didn't know if anyone would end up showing up in the evening at all. If no one did, that meant they were fine and free from harm. But... if someone _did_ show up, well, what was he to do? His original plan had gone down the drain and a part of him was relieved it did. On one hand, it would have meant that he would have been with Lindsay and he imagined them working together to take down the man in charge so they, along with the other survivors, could go on peacefully (he wasn't sure how yet, but it was a thought). On the other hand, it meant probably never seeing Gavin and everyone else he'd grown used to. Of course, if the side plan of taking down the leader succeeded, he could eventually meet up with this group again, but that possibility seemed slim.

Sure it seemed as if they would only be up against one guy since everyone was (from what he could tell by the way Lindsay and that other guy, Adam, acted) opposed to him, but who really knew? Maybe he had a handful of other people that were _truly_ on his team and would fight to keep him alive, which wouldn't be pretty and could result in many deaths on both ends.

And then there was also the idea of letting his current group know about the whole thing and they could all march to take the bad ones down, but no... they didn't deserve to get involved in any mess. He couldn't let them risk their lives, not when they've come so far to stay alive.

Gavin noticed the many expressions running on Michael's face. From concern to frustration to annoyance. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, though he already knew.

“I want this day to be over with,” Michael answered bitterly. “I want us to get through the evening without a problem and continue our lives tomorrow.”

“We will.”

“You don't know that yet.”

“Michael-”

“Gavin,” Michael sighed, sitting up on his elbows and looking over at him, “Anything can fucking happen tonight, good or bad. We don't really know if that asshole was bluffing or not yet. We'll just have to wait and see, and I _hate_ waiting. I just want you and everyone else to be okay. This... this shouldn't be happening to you guys.”

“There's been a ton of _crap_ that has happened to us so far, Michael, but I have a good feeling about tonight and I think you should try, too.”

“When the hell did you start thinking positive thoughts?” Michael raised an eyebrow at him.

Gavin's lips twitched upward slightly and he leaned closer to him, “Since we found each other. Well,” he turned away a little, “it's still a big pain in my arse, but I want to _really_ be positive about this. I hate seeing you so worried.” He brought a hand up and gently brushed some of Michael's curls out of his face, away from his forehead. Though Michael smiled at the sweet gesture, he quickly got himself out of bed and Gavin thought about it a moment before following him right out of the room.

And throughout the day, that was pretty much how it went.

Gavin would keep catching Michael staring off, his focus only on one thing for long periods of time, where blinks would be spaced out. But Gavin would walk up to Michael's side and that would be the trick to bring Michael's focus back into reality. Of course Gavin didn't smother Michael by clinging to him anytime he got lost in his own thoughts, but he would be weary of him. There was sometime in the late afternoon when Barbara headed out and Michael stopped her midway by asking where she was going. Gavin furrowed his brow but remained silent as he stood against the staircase. A few others were also now looking at Michael and Barbara as well – unable to help themselves, perhaps.

“I wanted to sit out on the front step. You know, get some air,” Barbara replied, smiling faintly. “It can get suffocating in here sometimes.”

“But it's cold out there,” Michael argued.

Barbara tugged at the sweater she was wearing and her smile widened. “Yeah, I know, but I'm fine with that,” she turned to open the door and found herself pausing once more by Michael speaking.

“I'll join you.” That was the trigger to get _everyone's_ head turning to stare at the two. Barbara blinked and glanced at him over her shoulder, baffled.

“Uh, I'm literally just going to be on the other side of this door,” she said.

“But uh,” Michael squeezed his eyebrows together a he searched for another stupid excuse he didn't even want to give. Did he really have a choice? Probably, but he was going with this instead. “Uh, you never know! It's also going to get dark soon and-”

“Michael,” Barbara cut him off, turning around to place her hand on his shoulder, “Thank you for looking for me, but if something goes wrong, I'll scream.” With that, she walked out before Michael could exhale.

Gavin dropped his gaze to the floor and frowned. He could already tell how much Michael was dreading hearing any sort of scream from outside. Ray was another person who might have noticed that, since he stepped forward and said, “We're always ready for anything.” Though Michael didn't want to listen. No... instead, he avoided Ray's eyes and rushed past Gavin to run back upstairs.

After the door slammed shut, Aaron asked, “Okay, Gavin, what's going on?” Gavin's eyes widened as the rest turned to give him questioning looks.

“Oh,” Gavin breathed out, knowing they were practically demanding an answer from him. “It's just not a good day,” he hoped he sounded believable.

“Sure started like one,” Ray said quietly as he brought his water bottle up to his lips. Gavin folded his arms across his chest and maybe that would have worked, but his reddening cheeks betrayed him and Ray just smirked.

“Can what Michael and Gavin do in the bedroom stop being the reoccurring joke of the day?” Jack questioned them from where he stood near the table.

“We got jokes of the day? What the fuck was yesterday's? Or last week's.”

“Last week's was definitely mocking the face you make when you taste or smell something gross,” Arryn told Ray, clearly amused. Ryan pointed at her and laughed as he recalled it well. She smiled back at him.

Ray gaped at them and threw his hands up. “What face? Why are you making fun of my face without me knowing?” Ryan, Arryn, and even Miles went ahead to demonstrate the expression as best as they could and in the meantime, Gavin, Jack, and Ray were watching carefully. Ray was hardly entertained, but Gavin and Jack were grinning.

Aaron took the opportunity of their mild distraction to swoop into the kitchen and exit through the other doorway in front of the staircase. None of them even noticed or heard him as he made his way up the steps behind them.

“What kind of face is that?!” He heard Ray ask.

“I like to call it the _Ray_ face,” Miles told him, getting a laugh from everyone.

Aaron stopped listening to Ray's grumbles as he reached the door at the top of the staircase. He brought his fist up and knocked lightly on it a few times.

“I'll go back down there in a second, Gavin,” Michael responded from the other side, his voice sounding muffled and tired.

“What if it's not Gavin, though?” Aaron asked him.

Slowly, Michael lifted his head from the pillow and turned it to stare incredulously at the door. “Aaron?” He squinted his eyes, getting up suddenly from lying on his stomach and sitting himself upright.

“Now you've got it.”

Silence followed afterward and Aaron wondered whether Michael was purposely ignoring him now in hopes that he would go away. He was just about to, but then he merely asked, “Can I come in?”

Michael cocked his head to the side as if Aaron could honestly see him. “Um, I guess,” he answered softly. It didn't sound as convincing as Aaron would have liked, but he supposed it was better than a flat out “no”.

He entered on inside and immediately smiled upon seeing Michael sitting on the bed. There were those people, sometimes, who managed to somehow have a smile that was contagious. Aaron was one of those people, because Michael found himself returning the smile. It wasn't as bright or friendly as Aaron's, but it was there.

“You ran off pretty quickly back there,” Aaron then said, making his way closer to Michael.

Michael shrugged a shoulder and broke the eye contact to fiddle with his fingers. “You didn't have to come check up on me; I'm fine.”

“Well, I'm sorry, but I don't believe you.”

“I don't have to say shit to you, so...”

Aaron cautiously sat down next to Michael and turned his head to look at him, that warm smile never leaving. “Okay, don't tell me anything. I didn't really expect you to.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Caring for someone doesn't mean you have to _demand_ to know what's wrong with them. I just want to be here for you.” Michael curled his lip to the side and rolled eyes at that, only making Aaron laugh.

“What? It's true!”

And then Michael was grinning. “I appreciate it,” he admitted.

“You're my friend, so, it shouldn't come as any surprise, right?”

“Friend?” Michael's grin faltered altogether, his eyes scanning over Aaron's face. “I get that we are all friends here, but actually saying it isn't really thrown around that often. We always just go with 'the group'.”

“The team,” Aaron nodded.

“The team, yeah.”

“And if you ask me, we make a pretty good one.”

“Alright, well, I didn't, but fucking thanks for your input anyway,” Michael had coldly stated those words, yet he laughed and Aaron joined him. Gavin barged into the room then and halted in his tracks when he spotted Aaron sitting there. Aaron stopped his laughter and stared back at Gavin with the same expression – bewilderment.

“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Gavin finally asked, still gripping the doorknob with much of his force.

“Uh, you guys were downstairs laughing at Ray's face and I just wanted to make sure Michael was okay,” Aaron explained.

“And you think I didn't?”

“What- no? I, well okay, I can see how what I said could come off as rude, but what I meant was-”

“Stop,” Michael waved Aaron off and raised an eyebrow at Gavin, “What's up, babe?” Gavin felt his chest clench at the nickname until there was nothing but pure bliss running through him.

The corners of Aaron's lips rose again as he looked back and forth between the two – Gavin with that wide eyed stare and sputtering and Michael with his usual calm and collected look.

“Okay, we _might_ have a problem!” Barbara shouted from downstairs as she ran back into the house and it was as if everything Michael had been fearing hit him right then and there with almost too much force for him to feel any muscle within him. He had to force himself to jump to his feet and ignore the thundering sounds in his ears from his heart racing. He barely even heard when Aaron.

“We have to go!”

“No!” Michael managed to choke out, turning and pushing Aaron back onto the bed with his hands. Aaron gawked up at him and Gavin's eyebrows twitched together for a second. “You stay here,” Michael demanded through gritted teeth and Gavin recognized that tone as one Michael used when he was really afraid but was _refusing_ to show it. Gavin moved out of the way as Michael began heading towards the door.

“You stay with him, Gav,” Michael mumbled.

“What?! _No_!” Gavin shrieked. Michael didn't even stop to listen or respond; he kept on going until he was at the bottom floor. Gavin let out a noise and glared back at Aaron still on the bed and looking even more puzzled.

“I'm not staying here with you,” the Brit casually said before walking out of the room and closing the door. Aaron's eyes went wide.

“Why the hell do _I_ have to stay then?” He asked out loud, even though no one was around to answer.

“What is it?” Michael asked as he turned the corner and found everyone else huddled around together.

“I heard some noises and looked out to see some people heading their way – they have some scary looking rifles with them,” Barbara told him as she started to tie her hair up. The hollow hole that had been creating itself in Michael's stomach grew at her words and he took a deep breath to steady himself. Gavin was right behind him now and pouted a little, because even from behind he could see how much this was affecting him.

“Well, I do, too. Were you able to see how many?” Ryan asked, reaching behind the sofa for his rifle.

“It only looked like three, so I know we can easily take them,” Barbara said. Ryan nodded in agreement.

“Then let's do this,” Ray announced, but Michael held him back with a hand on his chest. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“I don't think it's a smart idea if we _all_ go out there,” Michael said. “There's three of them, so let's just take four of us. They're still be outnumbered but we won't have to risk _everyone's_ life.”

“I kind of like that idea,” Ryan whispered.

“Which four?” Arryn asked, looking ready to be one of them.

“I thought of the idea so I'm definitely going out there,” Michael stated. Gavin groaned, throwing his head back, and decided not to try arguing that.

“I'm right there with you,” Ryan told Michael.

“Me too!” Miles and Arryn simultaneously volunteered, holding up their weapons.

Ryan blinked at them and sighed, though he didn't comment on how ridiculously sweet that actually was... in an odd way. “Michael, Miles, Arryn, and me it is, then! Let's head out. The rest of you stay in here and only come out in case it gets messy.”

Seeing nods from the others, Ryan led the way to the front door and despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to go, Gavin followed. None of them had even noticed Gavin was with them until they were already outside and by then, they were too annoyed to protest and just allowed the Brit to stay without a word about it.

Fine... _five_ against three instead of four. At least they still had Barbara, Ray, Jack, and Aaron inside.

And then they saw it – the three people walking up from down the street.

Ray had scrambled over to the window and taking watch from there, ducking below so he wouldn't be seen. Barbara had her back pressed up against the wall next to the door while Jack was crouched down next to the couch, and they all had their weapon in hand, ready to charge.

As the three people came into closer view, Michael swallowed hard to see that Lindsay was one of them, but what calmed his nerves down a bit was seeing that the _leader_ wasn't.

“Miss us?” The guy – Adam – asked Michael as they stopped walking once they were on the lawn. Ryan furrowed his eyebrows and looked over at Gavin and Michael who were now standing next to each other.

“Do you have it, then?” A redheaded girl standing in between Adam and Lindsay asked, but not to Michael or Gavin, to all of them.

“Have _what_?” Miles asked, the only one who seemed to be able to get words out. “We have no idea what you're talking about. You guys just showed up here uninvited. Don't ask us if we have anything,” and normally, that sass would have been hilarious, but at the moment, Michael was silently begging him to shut up.

“Listen, our boss sent us here to get what he wants, and if you refuse to give it back, we're taking something of yours,” the girl's eyes shifted toward Michael as she smiled deviously, “Curly hair, brown eyes, freckles, and cute. That is you, isn't it?”

Miles scoffed, “Wrong, because he's not cute!” The joking tone was there and Michael wasn't offended, but he was growing more irritated. Gavin narrowed his eyes at Miles and Miles' face fell. “I was trying to help... somehow,” he defended himself, and then turned toward Michael, “In all honesty, I think you're a _very_ handsome-” Michael held his hand up to stop him and Miles did stop then.

“Well, I don't see your _boss_ here. Do _you_?” Michael asked the girl, staring at her challengingly. The fear that had tried taking over him was fading.

Lindsay raised her eyebrows. “He's got a point, Meg.”

Meg slumped her shoulders, her firearm being lowered as well, and her expression went through realization to completely relaxed. “He does,” she agreed, quite the cheerful sound considering the menacing one that had previously been coming out of that mouth. She looked to Adam who nodded and also lowered his rifle.

Ryan exchanged looks with Miles and Arryn, hoping they were wondering what the hell just as much as he was. It didn't help that Lindsay set her rifle down on the ground and hurried past them to get to Michael and Gavin.

“I can't even begin to explain how much I've missed you two,” there was a small crack in her words as she spoke and she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around them both. Ryan, Miles, and Arryn merely watched in awe, their mouths hanging wide open.

“So much for the whole good cop, bad cop,” Meg sighed.

“Just to clarify, that was good cop you were doing, right?” Adam asked her. “We were starting with that?”

“Um, sure,” she nodded, and she cleared her throat.”

Lindsay gave Michael and Gavin one more squeeze, as they did with her, before departing from the hug. She turned around to look at Meg with a smile, “Ah, Turney.” And it was that fond way she had said it that had Gavin looking back and forth between them before breaking into a small grin.

“Hey, I've never done anything like this; this is the first time I've been sent on a mission by _him_.”

“Okay, wait a second!” Arryn interrupted before Lindsay even thought about talking. “I don't understand what's going on,” she looked toward Michael and Gavin, “How and _why_ do you know these people?”

“Well, you don't have to say it like that,” Meg mumbled under her breath. Arryn shot a glare her way.

“I was talking to Michael and Gavin, thank you very much.”

“Don't you dare give Meg that kind of attitude; she wouldn't dare hurt you unless she needed to. _Don't_ give her a reason to need to,” Lindsay snapped and Michael saw Arryn stepping toward them, he spoke up.

“Lindsay is my best friend,” he gestured toward her, “Gav and I knew her long before any of this crap happened.” Arryn halted at that and Lindsay nodded, along with Gavin.

“Okay, but how does that explain how _Meg_ over there know Michael was Michael?” Ryan asked.

“I didn't,” Meg answered. “Well, Lindsay has told me about him and Gavin many times before, but I was mainly just going off of the description our boss gave me of him. The curly hair, the freckles... it matched him.”

“And _how_ would your boss know how to describe Michael?” Now Ryan was looking at Michael himself, squinting.

Michael closed his eyes for a second, mentally cursing, and then he faced the man back. “We may have run into them yesterday with their boss-”

“ _What_?!”

“We did think about telling you, but we weren't sure if the bloke was bluffing or not,” Gavin added.

“Yeah, he doesn't bluff,” Lindsay told him. “The guy's an asshole and he's ruthless and he _embraces_ it.”

“That's not the point! The point is that you two,” Ryan walked toward Michael and Gavin, “ _should_ have told us! Why did you think it'd be a good idea to keep this from us?”

“Does it matter anyway? Lindsay's good, Meg seems like a nice person and so does Adam,” Michael shot back. “It's not like we're in actual shit.” Perhaps he had spoken too soon, because after the last word was out, a gun shot went off and they were all jumping in surprise.

“Ow, _fuck_!” Miles hissed through his teeth, his bow dropping to the ground next to his feet as his hand went up to clutch his tricep. They all spun around to see blood trickling down his arm and covering his fingers as he tried applying pressure to wound.

“Miles,” Arryn breathed out, but she froze at the sound of another voice.

“I'll do it again if you move and next time I'll aim somewhere else.” And so she didn't move. She was even too afraid to turn back around, like everyone else had. Miles bit down on his lower lip to prevent himself from making any distressed noises, but at least he could see what was going on.

“Oh, bollocks, it's him,” Gavin whispered, absentmindedly reaching for Michael's hand. Michael glanced down once and interlocked their fingers, but he quickly glared back up at the “leader”.

“I knew sending you three out here was a mistake,” the man said as he walked up behind Meg and Lindsay sneered at him.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about,” Meg spoke casually, a slight shake to her voice, “We were just getting down to business.”

“You're a terrible liar, Turney.”

Meg searched for Lindsay's gaze, only able to find some sort of comfort in her than focusing on anything else. Lindsay's expression softened when she noticed and their eyes locked.

“I just realized I didn't properly introduce myself yesterday,” the leader said as he roughly pushed Meg out of his way. Lindsay urged to rush over to her but stopped when she saw the gun raise. “You can call me Carter,” he sounded so smug and Ryan couldn't help but smile at how pathetic it was.

“And I don't plan on leaving until I get what I want,” Carter threatened. Ryan wanted to point out how defenseless Carter was against all of them, except the way Carter aimed his gun at Miles again, he decided not to say anything. “Your friend there isn't looking too well, huh?”

Ryan sneaked a quick peek at Miles to find him struggling with keeping himself together, but he could only imagine the pain he was feeling in his arm.

“It would be a shame if someone were to make things worse-”

“Okay, we get it,” Ryan interrupted Carter. “What do you want? We'll give it to you.”

Carter smirked over at Michael. “You can keep who I'm here for if he comes with us instead.

“ _Who_?” Ryan drawled out, his eyebrows squeezing together and then he loosened them as it hit him. “Aaron.”

Michael widened his eyes as he heard that and he looked at Ryan. Ryan ignored him as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

“Aaron or Michael in exchange for you leaving us alone?” He asked Carter. Carter nodded. “Okay, then let me go inside; I can go get Aaron.”

“No!” Michael shouted, startling Gavin and Lindsay. “Ryan, _no_! We're not letting Aaron go back to this asshole! You saw how he was when we met him! You're really going to let him go back so that could probably happen again?”

“What, you'd rather take Aaron's place?”

“Who said anything about _any_ of us going?” Michael suddenly dropped his knife and reached to snatched Gavin's glock out of his left hand. Gavin barely had time to react and gaped at the way Michael let go of his hand to aim the weapon better at Carter. Ryan flashed Michael a smile before following his lead.

Two weapons were being aimed at Carter now and Michael's heart was pounding, sounding perfectly loud in his ears but he smirked at his new confidence. Arryn held her breath as she saw Ray slowly making his way outside, hoping Carter wouldn't see him squeezing his way through the small opening he gave himself with the door. Something dripping to the ground drew Ray's attention to it and when he saw it was a red liquid, he trailed his eyes up, following the source of it and he gasped quietly at Miles. Miles offered him a reassuring smile.

“I guess you're not so tough now, _huh_?” Michael taunted.

“I guess not,” Carter sighed. “Because I'm stupid enough to come out here on my own.” Ray stopped his movements upon hearing that and he looked toward one of the houses in front of theirs, barely catching the glimpse of a person hiding behind something. What he did clearly see, however, was the gun pointing in Michael's general direction.

“ _Michael_!” He couldn't have even tried stopping himself from crying out and launching toward him. Michael was tackled to the ground by him seconds before the hidden person pulled the trigger.

“Oh, that's right, I didn't,” Carter said. He then snapped his fingers and the others came out of their hiding spots and stalked their way toward the house.

“Oh, shit,” Ryan said under his breath and as more guns were raised, he turned to everyone behind him, “INSIDE! NOW!”

Barbara swung the door open and started waving them in. Arryn held onto Miles as they were rushed in by her. Lindsay received herself a suspicious look from Barbara, but by Arryn's demand, Barbara dragged her inside as well. Ryan was dragged in next just as the gun shots started flying. Ray was still lying on top of Michael, too afraid to move or get up to go inside. Gavin started to duck, attempting to dodge any bullets heading his way, but they stopped as the group of people moved in closer. Ray took the chance to jump to his feet and run inside, but he held the door open for Gavin and Michael to run in next.

“Michael!” Gavin grabbed Michael by the arm to help him up but Michael glanced over to see how Carter was dragging Meg away with him. Maybe he would have let it go, but it was the way Meg looked back at them, hopelessness in her eyes, that made him feel that he just _couldn't_ let her be taken away.

“Come on, guys!” Ray yelled, waving his hand frantically.

Michael snarled at Carter as he hurried onto his feet and Gavin released his arm, thinking they were both about to go inside. The Brit was halfway through the door when he looked back and saw Michael wasn't behind him. No, in fact, Michael was running the other direction, after Carter and Meg. One of the people was getting to shoot Michael down, but Adam abruptly hit them in the face with the back of his rifle, turning everyone else's attention to him instead of Michael.

“What the fuck, Ellis? You're gonna turn against us now, too?” One of them asked.

“Mi-” Gavin was cut off by Ray wrapping his arms around and almost carrying him the rest of the way into the house. Barbara slammed the door after them and Ryan ran over to hold it shut with her.

“No, _Michael_! _Michael_!” Gavin screamed, squirming wildly to get out of Ray's grip.

“Stop, Gavin! _Stop_ it!” Ray shouted back.

“MICHAEL!”

“Gavin-”

“ _MICHAEL_!”

“Gavin, _calm_ down!” Barbara tried shouting over him.

“MICHAEL!”

“Gavin, I'm not letting you go until you _calm_ down!” Ray told him.

“I _can't_ , Ray!” Gavin squirmed a little more but groaned and stomped his foot once he realized how useless it was to fight it. He sighed in defeat and shook his head. “Michael's out there,” his voice was back a normal level now, “He's out there... he's out there...”

“He's going to be okay,” Ray whispered. “I promise, he's going to be okay.” Gavin just continued shaking his head.

“He has your gun, okay?” Lindsay was speaking, her familiar and soothing voice making it sound even better than it was. “He has your gun... so he'll be okay. It's better than having nothing with him. I'm sure he knows how to handle himself.” Gavin was breathing in quickly, but then he did nod, wanting so desperately to believe her words.

Hesitantly, Ray let him go and Gavin spun around to look at Lindsay.

“We have to save him,” he told her.

“I know we do, and we _will_ ,” she averted her eyes, “I also have to save Meg. I have to save her from that... _group._ I-I have to get out of there-”

“Michael went after her!”

Lindsay blinked and raised her head to meet Gavin's frantic stare. “What?”

“He went to save her, Linds, and we... we have to _help_ them.”

“Not that I'm against saving Michael and Meg, even though I don't know her,” Barbara said, getting them to look at her, “but uh, we _kind of_ have something else to deal with right now and that is the seven people standing outside our house with loaded weapons.”

“Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do about them?” Ray asked. Ryan looked over him to see how Jack was sitting on the couch with Miles to begin tending to his wound.

“Miles was already hurt and I _can't_ let anyone else go through that.”

“So, what do you suggest we do then?” Arryn questioned.

Ryan shot his brows up as he noticed how they were staring at him, yearning for his an answer with high hopes that it would be exactly what they needed to hear. They searched his face for the plan, the plan that would find them out of the situation they were currently in so they could move onto the next – to save Michael and even Meg. And as kicks began at the door, forcing him and Barbara to press back even harder to prevent the strangers from breaking in, he realized that he had no answer at all.

 

* * *

 

_I should be dead, I should be dead, I should be dead!_

Michael turned into a small alleyway before slowly peeking out to make sure none of those people that were back at the house had followed. Part of the fact that no one had made him nervous too, though, because that only meant his friends were in more danger than he was.

_I really should be fucking dead right now. Those idiots didn't even try shooting me when I ran. If that's who everyone at the house is up against, then maybe they'll be fine without me there right now._

He allowed that positive thought to linger as he sucked in sharply and pressed his forehead against the cold wall. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been running for. All he knew was that he had Carter and Meg in his sights for most of it until he heard another gunshot and it scared him shitless that he fell to his knees to cover himself before realizing the shot hadn't even been aimed at him.

But by the time he looked back up, Carter and Meg were gone. He was stuck between turning back to the house or continuing on to find them. Why was he so determined to save someone he didn't even know? Well, he supposed it had to do with how much she seemed to mean to Lindsay and he would hate himself if he could have saved her but didn't. He didn't want to imagine the look on Lindsay's face if that were the case.

_They couldn't have gone that far. I was only down for like a minute or two._

Michael pursed his lips and peeked out again in hopes that maybe he would see them, but no one or nothing was in sight of the abandoned road of the city.

“God damnit,” he breathed out.

He started wonder again if Gavin was okay. Ray? Ryan? Arryn? Barbara? Jack? Aaron? Was Miles going to be okay as well? Considering he was the only one who actually got shot. Shit, were those people shooting at the house now? Were their bullets breaking through glass on the windows and anything else fragile inside? Michael cursed to himself as the damn questions ran through his mind.

He did have an urgency to run back toward the house and help out as best as he could, but no... Meg... that look she had given them while she was being dragged away. She _wanted_ to be saved and she would be. Michael took a deep breath and focused again on that positive thought from before.

 _Those people are weak. They're_ nothing _against my friends._

“Hey,” he then heard Carter say.

Michael widened his eyes and clutched the gun in his hand tighter before turning to face him. Before he could process anything and defend himself, a sharp pain shot across his head and his world went black.

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter is "[The Other Side](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieNaaZK2MpE)" by French For Rabbits. AND WOW, ONE MORE CHAPTER. holy crap.

From where he was still hidden, up in Michael and Gavin's bedroom, Aaron had seen everything play out. He had seen when Meg, Lindsay, and Adam arrived and held back the urge to open up the window and yell down at them; he knew their hearts were always in the right place, considering they were some of the many sensible people in his old group. He watched as they began to display that side of theirs to Ryan, Michael, Gavin, Miles, and Arryn, and he smiled at the sight of it, until he also saw Carter walking up. He was tempted to scream out then, especially with how distracted everyone was with each other, but he noticed the gun in Carter's hand and held back in case he worsened the situation. That's when the gunshot went off and Aaron's chest tightened in fear.

He couldn't see if anyone had actually been hurt, but he did hear someone cry out in pain and he felt the color drain from his face. Were they okay? Were they merely startled and not genuinely shot? Aaron just didn't know, because he _could not fucking see_ exactly what was going on from his perspective. It was driving him to the point of wanting to run out of the room and join everyone outside, but then something in the distance caught his eye and he squinted his eyes as he stared to see if the movement would happen again.

“You can keep who I'm here for if he comes with us instead,” Carter sounded muffled with the window being closed, but Aaron could hear him well enough to increase the uneasiness within his stomach. Carter was there for him, he already knew that from the moment he saw his friends, because what other reason did they have with coming to the house? Aaron cursed under his breath for not paying attention to who the “he” Carter was referring to was.

“ _Who_?” That was Ryan asking, Aaron was sure of that. Silence followed suit, much to Aaron's sudden ticking patience, but he jumped when he heard his name being spoken. Ah, Ryan had figured it out.

“Aaron or Michael in exchange for you leaving us alone?” Aaron's lips parted. _Michael._ Carter wanted _Michael_?

“No,” Aaron breathed out, shaking his head. “No, no, no.”

“Okay, then let me go inside; I can go get Aaron.” And although Aaron preferred it'd be him than Michael, the sting that came with hearing Ryan say that was almost unbearable. He would never ask them to choose him over Michael, though. Christ, he didn't even want to _imagine_ Michael having to get thrown into that group.

“No!” He then heard Michael shout and he tried looking lower to see if he could see him better. “Ryan,  _no_! We're not letting Aaron go back to this asshole! You saw how he was when we met him! You're really going to let him go back so that could probably happen again?” Aaron felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward, but he immediately frowned afterward, torn between wanting to feel appreciative by Michael's words or terrified.

“What, you'd rather take Aaron's place?” Ryan asked.

“No,” Aaron subconsciously answered.

“Who said anything about _any_ of us going?” And everything that occurred afterward seemed to be a complete blur to Aaron as he stumbled away from the window and fell onto the bed. This was all happening because of him, because he was with them and Carter had somehow found out. How the _hell_ did he manage to find him?

He shuddered as he thought back to the last day he was with Carter. The image of Carter grabbing his friend by his shirt's collar and telling him he was the reason two of their men was killed. Aaron frantically looked back and forth between them and everyone else who were merely standing around, too afraid to speak.

“ _I didn't do anything but what_ you _told me to do!” Aaron listened to his friend say to Carter, the urgency clear in his tone._

“Why _weren't you out there by their side, then?!” Carter barked back. “They_ needed _more backup and you weren't there!”_

“ _We shouldn't have ambushed that group anyway!” Aaron heard himself yell, causing_ everyone's _attention to turn to him. Carter, still holding tightly to his friend by his shirt, also turned his head to face him. Aaron swallowed roughly and shrugged, “They're smart and have a lot of people... what did you expect to happen?_ Of course _someone there was going to be death. I think even one of their people died.”_

“ _Did you see the shit they had?” Carter asked him, tossing his friend aside and Aaron cringed as he watched him fall onto the ground face first._

“ _Y-yeah,” he answered. “Some of us have been kind of stalking them since they arrived.”_

“ _Then why are you even talking right now?” Carter was making his way over to Aaron now. Aaron stiffened and watched as everyone's eyes went wide._

“ _I just... I just didn't want you to hurt Chris. It wasn't his fault. This kind of shit was bound to happen and maybe we should have waited a little longer or planned better, because-” he was cut off by Carter's hands wrapping around his neck and he wildly brought his own up to try prying his away._

“ _So this is you sticking up for him? Hmm? You want to take the punishment for him?” Aaron was still struggling with getting out of his grip to even answer and Carter grinned as he went on to say, “If you want to stick up for someone, then you'll receive the punishment,” he narrowed his eyes, “_ double _the punishment.”_

_Aaron tried blocking out every little thing that followed next, only being in focus when a new pain came to another spot in his body from one of Carter's blows. He was sure he looked up at one point and saw Meg covering her mouth with her hands as Lindsay held her close, equally as horrified. He had seen Adam holding Chris back and a few others being close to tears by the scene unfolding in front of them while a good handful of people were simply unfazed._

_Somehow, by some miracle, he got up on his feet and ran, ignoring the string of threats Carter was screaming after him and how he felt as though he was floating from the numbness caused by his “punishment”. His vision was blurring and he saw_ red... _red... red... red. Blurs of red were splattered through the trees he was running past and he was close to giving into the weakness when he heard the sounds of a vehicle nearby._

_Blinking hard, Aaron pushed himself forward to find the source. Whoever that was, they weren't far at all. He ran out into the openness of the dirt road and watched as the van came to a screeching halt before he fell onto his knees, all energy drained from him. He shivered suddenly and realized he couldn't stop._

“ _P-please...  help  me,” he spoke once the people from inside the van came out, weakness and agony trembling in his voice. There was questioning, so much of it, and he tried answering as much as he could, but it was as if he lacking too much energy and oxygen to even try. They were wondering if he was bit and he assured them he wasn't. Of course they had trouble believing him, but he explained why he was in the condition he was currently in._

_There was also a woman with them and Aaron only then noticed her as she stepped forward with her arms crossed. “Whose bad side did you get on and was it really just  one  person?” She asked him, but she got the others to turn their attentions on her._

_Aaron sighed in defeat and closed his eyes. “I'll tell you... I'll tell you everything, but please... I need help first,” he tried swallowing, but his throat was rough and dry. Even his chapped and bruised lips were beginning to hurt more. “I promise... I-I'll get out of your way after you help me. Please, I feel like I'm going to black out. I-I've been running for so long and I know I've lost some blood... so please,” a few of his words sounded as though he had lost his complete breath for a second, but everyone heard exactly what he had said. He opened his eyes and stared up at them, silently continuing to scream out for help._

“ _So, what the hell do we do?” A voice he hadn't heard yet asked. Aaron shifted his eyes over all of them until his gaze landed on a curly haired man who looked as young as the woman and the first guy, but that wasn't really what caught Aaron's interest about him the most. It was the fact that this definitely wasn't the first time he had seen him. And his eyes widened for a second at the realization._

 _This group... it was_ that _group. And that curly haired man was the one that had almost caught him watching them in the woods._

_The first day that group arrived, Carter had sent a few people out to check up on them. Aaron had been one of those people and he almost screwed up the entire thing when he was seen in the distance._

_And suddenly, he felt the guilt rise within him. Here he was, asking the people his previous group had ambushed to help him. No, he didn't deserve their help, no matter how badly his condition was. Yet, he remained quiet and allowed them to decide his fate, slightly hoping they would leave him to die for putting them through that hell._

_They didn't._

“INSIDE! NOW!” He thought he heard Ryan scream out. He was definitely certain about the gunshots that started going off next; they were what got him bolting upright again to see outside and he saw Michael running after Carter and Meg.

“ _Michael_!” He shouted, as if he could actually be heard from where he was. He turned around, frantically searching the room for something he could use, and he spotted the backpacks in the corner. There was chaos beginning outside and the only comfort he had with him was that it sounded like at least everyone else had made it safely inside.

He darted toward the backpacks and quickly opened up one of them, digging his hand inside and desperately hoping he would find the exact thing he was thinking of. As his fingers brushed against something cold and pulled it out. The breath of relief that escaped him to find that it was a gun was overwhelming, but he wasted no more time in getting up and back to the window. After carefully and as quietly as he possibly could, he pulled the window up and aimed for one of their heads before pulling the trigger. There was hesitance – of course there had been hesitance. His hands were trembling, in a way that made him surprised he caught his target straight into the side of their head and actually watched as their blood splattered onto a few of the others nearby without giving up the shooting then and there.

He couldn't allow the remaining six to break their way inside. These were only half of the people that Aaron was certain no longer possessed a heart in their stone cold bodies. These were some of the people who had sworn their loyalty to Carter and would not give up until there was a blood bath to satisfy their “leader”. These were the people were dead set on believing Carter would always keep them alive as long as they kept him alive and that thought, that fear, was why they were that way. Still, Aaron felt the hesitance in shooting them down. Heartless as they were, they were _humans,_ as alive as he was. But if he didn't do anything, everyone inside the house would be the ones who would end up dead. He saw it as, it was either those outside or those inside, and he chose the ones inside, the people who saved him when he didn't deserve their kindness. He especially thought of Barbara and Michael and how he would do anything to keep them safe. The faster he helped his group- no, his _friends,_ the faster they could go find Michael, even though he still couldn't believe Michael had actually ran off like that.

Before the remaining six could catch glimpse of him as they wildly looked around them for the threat, Aaron aimed again and the same action was repeated.

 

* * *

 

“What the hell just happened?” Ray asked in a hushed tone, exchanging worried glances with everyone else. Jack was starting to get to his feet, but he was still unsure whether he wanted to move or not. The kicking at the door had stopped as soon as the first gunshot had went off, but now there were more going off, in all directions as the people on the other side tried figuring out where the first one had come from.

“Two are dead,” Barbara announced after sneaking a peek out the window from behind the curtains. She jumped as she watched another person get a bullet right through their skull, “O-okay, three.”

“Aaron,” Gavin breathed out. “That bloke is still upstairs.”

“Well, time to help him a little, don't you think?” Ray asked as he jumped to his feet and made his way next to Barbara's side, peeking through the curtain as she had. The tip of his colt was almost against the glass as he focused on his target and Barbara ducked down just as he went for it. Parts of the window shattered right in front of him and he turned his head away.

Another person was down.

Three more.

Ray was going to attempt another kill when he was yanked aside and all he heard was more glass shattering before there was a thud against the floor. One of them had crashed their way inside through the window and all of them merely stared in horror of the person lying on their floor. Well, everyone but Arryn who was standing over the person within seconds, hammer in hand and eyebrows furrowed as she stared them down.

“You won't do it,” the woman taunted her, a raspy laugh coming out of her mouth. Arryn smirked and shook her head.

“I don't want to,” she said, ignoring the pained cries and loud blows coming from the lawn as if they were in the middle of an actual battlefield.

“And you won't,” the woman growled as she grabbed Arryn's legs and pulled her forward enough for Arryn to lose her balance. As she lost the grip on her hammer and it went sliding across the room, Arryn landed on her stomach, the breath momentarily being punched out.

“ _Arryn_!” Miles cried as he got up only to be dragged back down by Jack who was telling him to stay still because he wasn't finished yet.

The woman tried getting up to attack Arryn further, but then she had three weapons aimed at her and Miles suddenly eased at that. Arryn wouldn't be hurt, not when she had the rest of them on her side. And the woman seemed to understand that, for her previous smug look was now replaced by one of worry.

“What were you thinking of accomplishing with that?” Ryan asked her, raising an eyebrow.

“The rest of your friends outside are dead,” Ray added and the woman had only just realized the silence that was indeed surrounding them. “There is no one left but you. What are you gonna do about that?” The tone Ray was using sounded so playful and gentle, but he was smiling deviously and Ryan could see that it was really him disguising how beyond relieved he was that they had made it through that.

Loud footsteps sounded from the stairs and Aaron was joining them in the living room a moment later, looking more of a mess than any of them were with his disheveled hair and unbuttoned shirt.

“How did you do that?” Barbara was asking him. He turned to face her. “How the fuck did you kill like all of them without them killing you?”

“Practice,” Aaron simply answered. “I've had.... plenty of it and I was with them long enough to know their strategies. It was also easy to trick them into believing the gun shots were coming from another direction.” Barbara squinted her eyes at him. There was something he was holding back, but for what reason, she wasn't sure, and she decided against asking. It wasn't the time for that. He was sidetracked anyway when he noticed the woman on the floor.

“Where the hell is Carter hiding out now, Sarah?” He asked her, a dark glint in his eyes none of the others had ever seen.

The woman – Sarah – smiled up at him, emotionless. “Does that matter now, Aaron? You've won. You got away again. All you have to do now is pack your things and you and your group can get the hell out of here before Carter can catch up.”

“Oh, don't worry, we will be leaving,” Ryan told her.

“Not without Michael we aren't!” Gavin reminded everyone, flailing his arms. Lindsay placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded.

“Our path is clearer now; we can go look for him,” she said. Aaron spun around at the sound of her voice and widened his eyes in excitement when he saw her.

“Lindsay?”

Lindsay offered him a small smile. “It's good to see you, Aaron.”

“Chris... is... is he okay?”

“He's fine.” Aaron returned her smile then at those words before turning back to glare at Sarah.

“What are we gonna do with her?” Arryn asked, slowly standing up on her feet. Barbara, Ryan, and Ray kept their weapons aimed toward Sarah in case she tried anything, but they shrugged in response to Arryn's question.

“Take her weapons, anything she's got on her, and let her go,” Lindsay stated. Everyone turned to look at her, but she seemed more than serious about what she had just said.

“You go on and do anything you want; I'm going to go find the only person that matters to me right now,” Gavin spoke as he started making his way to the door.

“Well, I'm going with you,” Lindsay said as she hurried after him.

“Wait!” Ray called. They both halted in their tracks just as Gavin was opening the door to look at him. “Let me go with you guys.” He lowered his gun and nodded toward Barbara and Ryan. Barbara returned the nod before crouching down next to Sarah to check her for any hidden weapons. With both Arryn and Aaron keeping a look out on Sarah while Barbara did that, Ryan also lowered his rifle and followed Ray to the door Gavin and Lindsay had already stepped through.

“By the way, my name's Ray,” Ray introduced himself to Lindsay.

“Lindsay,” she smiled at him. Ray returned it and he was getting ready to walk outside with her, but another voice had him halting.

“Hey,” Ryan spoke softly and Ray turned to face him. There were about a million other things Ryan wanted to say in that moment, so many different variations about how Ray needed to take care of himself out there, because there was no telling if Carter had other people hiding around. But he also yearned to tell Ray how much he meant to him and how he knew he wouldn't be as brave or focused on what was going on if it weren't for him remind him of what was important. Yet he couldn't bring himself to _say_ any of that. “Be careful,” he said instead.

Ray nodded once and he could have left it at that, but after the crap they had gone through and the fact that they were still alive, he was feeling... grateful. Without saying a word, he placed a hand on Ryan's cheek before leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Ryan didn't have time to even comprehend what was going on, because Ray was pulling away all too quickly. A shame, really.

“I will,” Ray whispered and smiled at Ryan's look of disbelief before he turned to join Gavin and Lindsay at their side. Ryan watched them at first, his fingers brushing against his lips while a smile tugged at the corners of them.

“Oh, no, Joe the Cat,” he heard Miles whine. He tore his gaze away from the three to look over at the orange cat that was making his way onto the coffee table. “No, don't look,” Miles begged, “There's blood.”

“Stop whining, I'm almost done,” Jack grumbled. Ryan finally just allowed himself to grin.

* * *

 

“Can you slow down, maybe?” Ray asked Gavin as he and Lindsay were trailing behind from failing to catch up with the Brit after numerous attempts.

“We've wasted enough time. I'm not letting Michael away from me any longer,” Gavin answered sharply. He glanced down at the knife he had in his hands. He'd picked it up from the ground where Michael had dropped it. It wasn't his usual weapon, but it would have to do. It was also Michael's and something about that felt a little comforting.

“If it helps, Carter does seem genuinely interested in Michael,” Lindsay told him.

Gavin squeezed his eyebrows together but he didn't stop walking or try looking at her. “How is that _possibly_ going to help?” He asked. “Wonderful, another bloke is very interested in my boyfriend,” he rolled his eyes. “That's just what I needed to hear.”

“You can cool it with the sarcasm, because I didn't mean it in that way.”

“In what way, then?” Ray had to ask, tearing his attention away from his reflection on a store window to meet Lindsay's eyes.

“I know this doesn't sound much better, but Carter has this thing where he'll find someone that catches his interest and he'll want them to be apart of the group, for his own benefit- no, I _don't_ mean sexually, Gavin, so wipe that look off your face _right_ _now_ ,” Lindsay snapped, pointing her finger at the Brit who was gawking at her, but he quickly closed his mouth after that. “I _meant_ , to get certain things that he might want, such as making them go out and... uh, steal from other groups so he wouldn't have to get caught up in the mess.” Gavin missed the way she bit down nervously on her lower lip after speaking.

“So he treats everyone like his _pets_?” Ray hissed, wrinkling up his nose at the mere thought.

“You could put it that way, yeah. He's a repulsive person. He sees potential in Michael, so if Michael somehow is caught up with him right now, there's a huge chance he's alive.”

“Sound a bit more sure about it, yeah?” Gavin told her. “I'm making myself sick enough with worry.”

“Hey, I'm trying to think positively, okay?” Lindsay sighed, though, knowing talking more on the subject wasn't going to calm any of their nerves down. “You know, during these past months, I thought a lot about you two. I was _so_ happy when I saw that you guys were still together.”

“It didn't start that way,” Gavin mumbled in response. “I know you remember the problems we were having.”

“How could I forget?”

“Right...”

“But despite all of that, Gav, you two still managed to be together through this,” a small smile made its way across her face, “and you still love each other.” Gavin licked his lips, though he stayed quiet, unsure of what to say to that. Lindsay picked up her pace until she was finally walking side by side with him and Ray was content with trailing behind them as he listened.

“I can still clearly remember the day you guys met-”

“Lindsay, what are you doing?” Gavin interrupted.

“What?”

“Why are you talking about this?”

“Because I don't want you to be upset. Okay, I get that this whole situation sucks, but you internally panicking isn't going to make things easier, especially if we end up being faced with a bigger problem.”

“I'm not internally doing anything.”

“Now that's bullshit,” Ray jumped in. Gavin peeked back at him and rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Gav. I'm worried, too, okay? I've actually got two people on my mind right now.”

Gavin softened his expression and finally turned his head to face her. “Meg,” he proclaimed. “Ah, bollocks. Linds-”

“Stop it. We can make this feel a little easier if we just don't think about all of the bad, okay?”

Ray nodded. “Yeah, Lindsay's right,” he then turned his attention to the Brit, “So, Gav, tell me the story of how you and Michael.” Gavin's lips twitched upward as he started to think back on the memory, something he could also recall clearly. It honestly didn't feel as if it had happened that long ago, but plenty of years surely have passed. Yet, he remembered it well, along with pretty much anything else – the good and the bad.

But the day he had met Michael Jones was definitely a good one.

“It was his 21st birthday,” he commenced.

 

* * *

 

_Gavin had half the mind to yank Dan by the arm and drag him to the building over, because anything but going to the bar seemed like a better idea. Dan wasn't having any of it; he held on tightly to Gavin by the sleeve of his shirt as he entered inside. Gavin had no choice but to follow, though he made sure his little annoyance was known as he huffed._

“ _Can't believe you've been living here for about a month and you haven't been here yet,” Dan said to him as they made their way through a small crowd._

“ _I'm not of legal age to drink here, B. You can't exactly blame me for not wanting to waste my time.”_

“ _Well, that doesn't mean we can't still enjoy the atmosphere!”_

_Gavin snorted. How did that even make sense? “I don't see how, but you're the guest, so fine,” he shrugged. Once they made it to a small round table near a fairly empty area, they heard a bunch of loud cheering come from the other end and they both turned to see._

_A group of friends were surrounding someone sitting down with a cake in front of him. A birthday, Gavin and Dan concluded, but Dan ended up looking away to read the small menu on the table. Gavin, however, couldn't bring himself to stop staring at the birthday boy with a huge and slightly embarrassed grin on his face._

“ _We should at least eat something if we can't drink anything, right?” He heard Dan ask. Still, he gave no indication that he was listening._

_The birthday boy glanced up and met Gavin's eye, causing the Brit to stiffen in his seat. They merely stared at each other for what felt like the_ longest _moment to Gavin. Dan finally looked up from the menu and followed Gavin's gaze until he saw who had his full attention. That was when the birthday boy's smile seemed to turn a bit shy before he broke eye contact by looking down._

“ _Wow,” Gavin breathed out. “Thank you, Dan, for bringing me out tonight.” Dan laughed._

“ _Go say hi.”_

“ _Wha- no,” Gavin frantically shook his head._

“ _Oh, come on, B.”_

“ _He's gorgeous, Dan. I can't.”_

“ _You have an excuse to go up to him. It's obviously his birthday. Tell him 'happy birthday'!”_

_Gavin chewed slowly on his bottom lip, honestly considering doing so. Would it be weird? Maybe, especially with how many people he was surrounded with. “No,” he said, sounding defeated with his shoulders slumping._

“ _If you don't, I will,” Dan promptly announced as he stood up, but Gavin instantly stared daggers at him and Dan sat back down with an innocent smile. “Fine, let's just eat.”_

_It was after the food had been ordered that Gavin excused himself to the restroom to wash his hands. He heard someone else walk in as he grabbed a few towels to dry his hands off and that would have been it; he was going to simply leave, but he caught the glimpse of the person from the corner of his eye and he gasped. The birthday boy..._

_The birthday boy heard Gavin's gasp and looked over at him. Gavin closed his mouth and cleared his throat as he thought about what to say. He definitely was going to say something now that they were_ this _close to one another. If he passed the opportunity up, it would be all that would haunt his thoughts for weeks with those stupid “What if” questions._

_He fully turned to face him and grinned crookedly, “Um, hi. Happy birthday.” Birthday boy raised an eyebrow questioningly. Gavin let out a strained noise, searching for another good thing to say, “Oh, I... I saw the party hat you were wearing earlier, and the cake. I also heard your friends singing to you...”_

_And the birthday boy smiled. “Well, thank you.”_

_Gavin licked his lips. It couldn't end yet. “Having a good time?”_

“ _Yeah, I mean... I wanted to just stay at home, order a pizza, and watch movies with them as we got drunk together, but they insisted on coming here to properly celebrate me turning twenty-one. Half of them can't even fucking legally drink in public yet.”_

“ _Neither can I... at least not until next year.”_

“ _What are you doing here anyway? Just visiting or do you live around here?”_

“ _I've been living here for about a month. My friend, Dan, is actually the one visiting me.”_

“ _That's cool.”_

“ _Yep...” Gavin nodded and mentally cursed himself for allowing the awkward silence that followed happen. At least he tried, though. “Well,” he spoke again, “I'm going to get back to him now. Uh, happy birthday again, uh...”_

“ _Michael,” the birthday boy introduced, smiling._

“ _Michael,” Gavin repeated, probably a little too fond. “I'm Gavin.”_

“ _Thanks again, Gavin.”_

_Gavin was grinning once more as he said, “You're welcome.” And he turned toward the door to leave, but halfway there, he paused. Michael did as well from heading to the sink and they both turn around at the same time to simultaneously say,“I hope this doesn't sound too forward, but-” before pausing and staring at each other with wide eyes. Gavin was the first to start laughing and Michael quickly joined in._

“ _Go ahead,” Michael told him._

“ _No, you. It's your birthday.”_

_Michael tried not rolling his eyes at that. “Alright, I was just... wondering if maybe, you and I-”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _You didn't even let me finish asking.”_

“ _It doesn't matter, because yes.”_

_The corners of Michael's lips rose slowly. “Saturday sound good, then?”_

“ _Sounds great,” Gavin answered and he felt the leap his heart made at seeing Michael take his phone out of his pocket. They exchanged numbers before Gavin dismissed himself and hurried out of the restroom to find Dan._

_That Saturday had gone better than Gavin probably could have ever imagined. He wasn't as much of a nervous wreck as he thought he'd be. That was mostly due to how easy Michael made it for him to be comfortable and himself during the entire time. It didn't feel like he was with someone he had only met days before at some boring bar downtown. No, Michael was like someone he'd known for a long while, someone he fell into any sort of conversation with ease and if they weren't talking, they were smiling and enjoying their food peacefully._

_It was why, when Gavin walked Michael to his best friend's apartment where he was staying during the summer since he couldn't be in his dorm, he had the confidence to lock eyes with Michael's and lean in. Although he stopped before their lips actually touched and watched as Michael smirked at him._

“ _Goodnight, Gavin,” Michael whispered. Gavin felt a lump form in his throat as he nodded and he was ready to step away completely, but he suddenly felt Michael's hand on his hip and he was pulled forward. And he thought about how it wasn't possible for someone to be able to make both his stomach and heart feel so much all at once. But here was Michael, proving to him that it was possible. It very much was._

_Yet the same thought crossed his mind each time they kissed after that day, because Michael was incredible and he was just in such disbelief of it._

 

* * *

 

Gavin sighed deeply as he leaned up against a building, the aching in his chest throbbing once more. “Sometimes I wish I could go back to those first few weeks,” he said softly. “When it was all so easy. We would have ourselves a nice time kissing and be able to forget about what we really had to do, just for a while,” he shook his head. “I'm not saying I regret deciding to be just friends for years and then slowly becoming more, but...”

“It's always easier in the beginning, Gav,” Lindsay told him, nudging him gently, “And things are really tough now, but once we find him, you'll see that everything will get back on track.”

“What do you plan on doing after we find him?” Ray couldn't help but ask her. Of course, the most logical thing would be for her to join them, especially since she knew Michael and Gavin. Lindsay pursed her lips as she thought about it. She knew her answer, but she was unsure about voicing it, unsure if it was the right thing to say in the moment.

“Maybe hold that thought for now, because look who I see,” Gavin was speaking through gritted teeth that Ray and Lindsay looked over immediately to see Carter standing at the end of the street to their left. The man slightly had their back to them, only a bit of his face was shown, enough to know it was him even though his short black hair that seemed to match his leather jacket was a good indication on its own.

Lindsay raised her eyebrow as she watched him talk to someone she had never seen before. No that definitely wasn't someone that was apart of the group. Ray nodded toward a truck they could run behind for a better look, and so they crouched a bit before taking off, careful about not accidentally kicking something that would draw attention.

“I'm supposed to just believe you when you say there's nothing left in this city?” The stranger had his cold glare fixated on Carter. Carter seemed unfazed as he smirked and nodded in response. “Then why do I have a feeling you're hiding something?”

“Because he is,” Ray mouthed to Gavin and Lindsay. There was a loud sigh that came from Carter that was followed by the sound of a _click._ The three of them ducked behind the truck widened their eyes, recognizing what that meant.

“I tried to be patient with you, but either you get the fuck out of my face or I do what I have to do,” Carter threatened, voice low. Ray could see the fear now growing in the stranger's eyes and he jumped up from his hiding spot, though Gavin frantically tried grabbing his wrist to yank him back down.

It was too late.

“How about dealing with me instead?” Ray asked out loud while both Lindsay and Gavin cursed under their breaths. Carter spun around to face Ray while the other person took off running and Ray was relieved when Carter let them. Lindsay elbowed Gavin in the arm before standing up as well. If Ray was going to do this, he wasn't going to do it alone. Carter's eyebrows rose at the sight of her, but he breathed out a laugh once he saw Gavin as well.

“What the fuck is this?” He continued to laugh, though when he saw how much Gavin was struggling with keeping a stern expression, he grinned. “Aw, is someone lost without their boyfriend?” Gavin tightened his grip on the knife and tried stepping forward, but Ray held him back.

“Now is not the time to take this as a joke, Carter,” Lindsay remarked and he looked at her. “If you know where Michael is or you have him-”

“ _What_?” He cut her off. “ _He's_ the one that came after _me_ , which-” he glanced at Gavin, “-was really stupid.”

Gavin groaned loudly as he pushed past Ray, “Where is he?!” Carter acted as though he didn't even notice Gavin marching toward him as he stared right at Lindsay.

“You know,” he spoke to the redhead, “I'm offended that you would go against me like this, siding with the other side to get someone back.”

“Oh, go fucking cry about it,” Lindsay grumbled, rolling her eyes. Ray bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from laughing at that, but he did make a mental note of sharing a high five with Lindsay later.

Now being face-to-face, Carter did look Gavin in the eye and Gavin hoped he didn't visibly shudder from having those sharp hazel eyes looking into his green ones.

“Where is he?” Gavin repeated his question from before, quieter this time.

“Well,” Carter shrugged, “he's alive, but that's all I'm going to tell you.” It wasn't really an answer, but Gavin did feel some relief wash through him. Okay, Michael wasn't dead... okay, that did help a little, because at least now they knew they weren't wasting their time since they left the house. At least now they knew there was hope.

“He's got such a mouth on him, though,” Carter was suddenly talking again and it made Gavin flinch, “I mean, he was passed out for a good while, but the _second_ he woke up, it was _non_ stop with him.” Something about that made Gavin's stomach warm. Yeah, that did sound like Michael to him. But that warmth dissolved into a sickening feeling when he really thought about what Carter had just said.

“Passed out?” He asked, eyes widening.

“Oh, it was just one bang to the head with a trashcan lid I found,” Carter answered, smiling. “He goes down a little too easy, but fine, I'll give him credit, I did use all my strength and I guess we're all a little weak with the lack of food, right?”

Ray squinted his eyes and looked over his shoulder at Lindsay. “He's so full of shit,” he whispered. Lindsay nodded at him before glaring back at Carter.

“You hurt him,” Gavin snarled, raising the knife slightly. Carter glanced down at it a second and smirked.

“You know, if you kill me, they'll kill him,” that was all it took for Gavin to freeze in his spot and Carter laughed. “Wow, the same threat works on both of you. I mean, I told him that if he shuts up, I would leave you alone. Guess what? He's been so quiet... eh, _aside_ from the little whiny cries he does every time we-”

“Stop it!” Gavin blurted out, his voice even cracking a bit. Carter held up his hands in defense.

“Okay, fine, I won't give you the details, but like I said, he's alive and he'll _remain_ alive as long as you and the rest of your group stay the fuck away from me.”

“Where's Meg?” Lindsay then asked.

“She's where she's supposed to be. Where the _fuck_ else would she be?” But Carter smiled at Lindsay after he said that, “Oh, she's another person you wish to _rescue_ , right? Hmm, yeah, like I'd ever let that happen. Do you have any idea how useful Meg is to me? Who could say “no” to that face?”

“We can either blast him now or _now_ ,” Ray stated as he stared at Lindsay.

“You _can_ , but think of Michael, because I really wasn't kidding when I said that you kill me, they kill him. Yeah, I told them to kill him if I didn't return soon, so you better let me go now before they decide I'm taking too long.”

Gavin lowered his hand completely and took a step back, ignoring the way Ray was sputtering from near the truck. Carter waved him away further and Gavin didn't even hesitate to oblige if it meant Michael would be okay.

“Good. I won't warn you guys again. _Stay_ away,” Carter said as he started moving backward, but as soon as he finished glaring at each of them, he turned and sauntered off. Gavin clutched his chest as he fell to his knees and he sighed in defeat.

“No,” Ray breathed out. “No, it's not over yet,” he was sure to whisper, because Carter could still hear them if he spoke louder.

“You heard what he said,” Lindsay whispered back, looking as helpless as Gavin. “I can't risk anything happening to Meg or Michael because of us. They're smart... I trust that they'll find a way to escape on their own. Meg had a ton of ways to do so; we were just waiting for the right moment. Maybe she'll tell those plans to Michael and they'll... they'll be okay.”

Ray waited until he could no longer see Carter before saying, “Yeah, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to go find where he's hiding Michael _right_ now,” he stepped around from behind the truck.

“Ray, wait,” Gavin called weakly, looking up at him as he started walking past. Ray stopped. “What if Michael isn't even in that direction? Carter could have gone that way to throw us off.”

“Damnit,” Ray hissed. “He would.”

“Yes, he would,” Lindsay agreed. She walked over to join them at their side and shrugged. “We could... split up? I mean, we've all got something to defend ourselves, right?” Ray and Gavin held up their weapons for her to see. “Right, then, we could do this.” She held her free hand out for Gavin and with some thought, Gavin grabbed it and she helped him up on his feet.

“I'll go the way he left, just in case Michael really is over there,” Ray told them.

“I'll go down this way,” Lindsay said, nodding toward her right, “and sneak around from there to see if I see anybody.”

“Then I'll go left and do the same,” Gavin announced.

“Whatever happens, be back at the house as soon as it gets dark out, alright?” Ray looked back and forth between them. They nodded in agreement to that and after another moment of exchanging glances at each other, they stared heading on their ways. Ray was the first to turn around and begin his walk away from them, his heart picking up pace with each step he took.

Lindsay was next – she grabbed Gavin's hand and gave it one squeeze before letting go and rushing off. Gavin waited behind a few seconds, watching them, but then he swallowed the lump in his throat and furrowed his eyebrows. He needed to do this. He needed to find Michael. He only hoped they didn't screw anything up and anger Carter. So as he turned to head into the direction he agreed to go in, he rolled his shoulders and inhaled sharply to prepare himself for anything up ahead.

 

* * *

 

“Meg.”

Meg gasped and spun around, but she instantly relaxed when she saw that it was only Adam. “You're okay,” she practically cried, her eyes wet.

“So are you,” he said, sounding just as grateful. “I thought he was going to do something to you after I saw how he dragged you away.”

Meg shook her head. “No, he just brought me back here to wait for everyone else to come back,” she gestured toward the area they were in, right outside of the city where they had parked their vehicles.

“Wait... he actually left you here alone?”

“I'm not alone.” Adam raised an eyebrow curiously, but he slowly shifted his eyes up to look over her and he saw the silhouettes of a few people inside one of the cars. “He wouldn't trust me alone,” Meg added, “especially right now when he knows I'd leave to go find Lindsay.”

“Last I saw, she was safe with the other group.”

Meg sighed in relief. A smile even started to form on her face, but it quickly fell. “I saw Michael run after us.”

“I know,” Adam nodded. “I was kind of hoping I wouldn't see you here, because that would have meant he succeeded.”

“I-I don't know. Carter kept whispering to me about how he couldn't wait to take care of him and _god,_ he dragged me all over the place until he confused Michael enough to lose us. He then brought me here and told those over there,” she nodded toward the people in the car, “to look after me. I have no idea if he ended up running into Michael or if Michael went back to the house and it's actually driving me a little crazy not knowing.”

“Then go see for yourself.”

“Are you kidding me? Adam, I'm being babysat. The only reason they aren't saying anything about you showing up is because it's you – you're apart of this group. You're no stranger.”

Adam glanced up at the silhouettes again and shook his head. “I'll take care of them. You just wait until I give you the signal,” he started walking over to the car before halting in his tracks and looking at Meg again, “the signal is,” he raised his index finger. Meg widened her eyes, but he seemed genuinely serious about this, so she nodded. Adam wandered over to the car and knocked on the window with the back of his hand until the door opened.

Meg watched from where she stood, her feet feeling glued to the ground in fear. Adam was chatting it up with whoever was in that car (she couldn't tell from here who they were) and he was smiling slightly, which eased her nerves a little. But once that finger was raised, the goosebumps on her arms rose. It was now or never, and she chose now. Curling her hands into tight fists, Meg took off before her fear could get the better of her, and she _almost_ stopped when she heard the yelling from behind, but then one of those particular yells was from Adam, telling her to “Go, Meg! Just _keep_ going!”

And so she did.

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs of the chapter are “[The River Has Run Wild](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZoTM47lLJg)” by Mads Langer and of course, the song of the entire fic, “[Dirty And Clean](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGsxywq6WbU)” by Stephanie Schneiderman.

“Anything important that can fit in here, throw it on in there now,” Ryan announced as he lifted his dark green camping backpack. He placed it onto the couch where anyone who needed it could easily get to it and then he returned to the kitchen to gather anything they could take from there.

Barbara sighed as she looked over the pile of things she had made and wondered what things she might have to leave behind. She glanced up and all around at her surroundings, of the house she'd grown so used to for the past few months. And now she had to walk away from it – they all did. They were getting ready to go back into the world in search for a new salvation. Whether they would get as lucky as they had this time, she wasn't sure, but she could only hope.

“Alright,” Miles spoke as he made his way down the stairs. Barbara turned away from staring a spot on the wall she'd been focusing on to doze off and looked toward the staircase. “I think Arryn and I have successfully cleaned out our room with any necessities that will be taken with us.” He was holding a few of those things in his left hand and Barbara noted how he was purposely doing anything with his right hand and just his entire right arm in general. Jack, very carefully and slowly, had managed to rid of the bullet lodged inside Miles' tricep and cover the wound, but that only meant Miles was now a bit worried of using his right side in fear of hurting it further.

She smiled at that, though, because goodness she was relieved nothing worse had happened to him. And nothing worse would. Two times... two times the group had been threatened. The first time, a life from their group was taken. This time, there was only one wounded, which was fine. That was still progress and it showed how much stronger they were now, especially together. Barbara knew they would make sure a third time wouldn't come close to happening.

Of course it seemed ridiculous to even try believing that nothing bad would get to them again, but she believed in everyone; she believed in the group and their strength, also their willingness to keep each other alive. She listened to Aaron explain how Ryan's backpack was on the couch and watched as Arryn joined Miles' side and they both made their way over to said backpack. Everyone was calm now, or at least, much calmer than they were when they tried escorting Sarah out and away from the house. Really, the only things left on their minds were packing up well and Gavin, Michael, Lindsay, and Ray.

“It's getting dark out,” Arryn commented as she zipped up one of the backpack's pockets. “Are we going to wait until morning to leave or?”

“As soon as the others get back, we're gone,” Ryan answered, his voice a mumble. Miles looked as if he wanted to say something about that, probably to say what Barbara was thinking, but he closed his mouth instead. Barbara wondered if she should say it, then.

Aaron ended up beating her to it. “Maybe a few of us should go looking for them if they don't come back before it's _completely_ dark out.”

“They'll be fine,” Ryan was mumbling again. Barbara squinted her eyes at him.

“Well, we know Ray, Gavin, and Lindsay were okay, but Michael...” Aaron trailed off, a deep frown beginning to form on his face. Barbara rushed to his side and did the only thing she could really think of, and the _one_ thing she felt they both just needed; she wrapped her arms tightly around his stiff form from behind and rested her chin on his shoulder. Aaron hesitated a little before leaning his head to the side to rest against hers.

“Michael will be okay,” she whispered to him. “We'll all be okay.” Ryan must have heard her as he walked out of the kitchen, because he looked at them and Barbara felt chills run down her back at how unsure he appeared to be. Yet, neither of them said a thing about it.

“We're leaving soon, Joe,” Miles said as he slowly, gently picked the cat up. Arryn smiled as she patted the cat's head before scratching behind his ears.

“And one of the things that makes me happy about this is that you'll be coming with us,” she cooed. Barbara's lips twitched and she subconsciously tightened her embrace on Aaron. Luckily, Aaron didn't seem to mind it, and she was thankful for that.

Despite that look on Ryan's face, she was still sure things would be okay. They had to be.

 

* * *

 

Ray had his back flat up against the wall as he took deep breaths to steady himself from the ever increasing and nagging fear inside. The corner he was about to peek in was where he had last spotted Carter disappearing into and the closer he got to it, the more he could hear the pained panting and quiet whimpers. Besides that, it sounded as though no one else was around, but Ray was finding it difficult to at least peek. He didn't want to risk being seen by Carter or any other his people. What if that panting was from Michael, though? The more he listened to it, the more his hands shook, at just the mere thought. If that was Michael, a part of him was relieved he'd found him, but another part was upset he had to find him in such a condition.

“Come on, come on,” he told himself silently. “Come on... just take a quick look.” With one more deep breath, he craned his neck until he could see over the side and he could have sworn his heart dropped at the sight he saw. “Oh my god,” he choked out, much louder than he had expected.

Michael lifted his head slowly at the sound of the familiar voice. He felt something wet come out of his mouth and trail down his chin and neck, but he wasn't even sure if it was just his saliva or blood. They both felt the same to him. Either way, he couldn't wipe it, not with his hands being roughly tied behind his back. They were tied with ropes and he thought he could wiggle his way out of the knot, but after countless attempts, he found he was doing nothing but bringing damages to his wrists. He was also much too tired to try again anyway.

“Ray?” He croaked, looking around with only one eye fully open while the other struggled from how bruised it was.

Ray swallowed hard over and over until his mouth was practically drier than usual, but that's when he stepped out into Michael's view and felt his stomach churn. Where there wasn't blood dripping on Michael there were either bruises or scratches and Ray closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to imagine how Michael looked earlier that day, but it was as if the image in front of him was forcefully blocking that out.

“I found you,” he then spoke softly, opening his eyes. “I can't believe I found you.” Michael let out another small whimper as he faced down again and Ray cringed as he watched the blood from his mouth drip onto the ground like Michael was drooling.

“What the hell did they do to you?” He asked.

“Ray, you should go,” Michael urged, but Ray was only paying attention how hoarse his voice was. “Go before he's back.”

“I'm not leaving you here, man. Gavin, he-”

“Gavvy?” Michael asked, cutting him off as he looked back up at him. Ray couldn't even hold himself back if he tried, not with that look Michael was giving him; he rushed over and got down in front of him. “Where's... Gavin?”

“He's okay, Michael,” Ray assured him as he gently cupped his face to examine the marks all over. “Just like you'll be. I promise.” Michael let his eyes close, the exhaustion catching up with him and Ray began to wipe away the blood smeared around his chin and lower lip with his hand. “What did they do?”

“What _didn't_ they do?” Michael asked and he attempted to laugh, probably for Ray's sake, but it only resulted in him coughing weakly and holding back another whimper. “Ray... please, just go.”

“I-I can't-”

“I don't care if you _can't..._ you _have_ to,” Michael sounded breathless and Ray just _wished_ he would stop talking. “Get... Gavin... go... leave with everyone. And tell Gav... tell him I forgive him.”

“No,” Ray shook his head, wiping his hand on his jeans, “I'm sorry, Michael, but no. That's not going to happen, not without you.” Michael's mouth moved upward to the side and Ray realized it was a smile, well, as best of a smile as Michael could do. “Hey, can you open your right eye for me?” Ray asked and he watched with tugged heart strings as Michael did his best to oblige, but that eye was terribly swollen by now and the part of it Ray could see seemed bloodshot. Gently, Ray patted the area underneath with two fingers and the second he tried moving them higher, Michael hissed through his teeth and turned his head away a bit. Ray was opening his mouth to apologize when he felt something against his temple, and he froze. Michael noticed the sudden silence and managed to look up high enough to find Carter standing there, his gun on Ray.

“Didn't I _just_ say to stay away?” Carter asked, teeth clenched and brows squeezed together. Ray slowly put his hands down from Michael's face as Michael stared back at him in terror. He also wasn't quick enough to grip his own gun tighter before Carter was yanking it from his hand and putting it away in the holster around his waist.

“Take Michael to the others now,” Carter spoke and Michael wasn't sure to who until he felt someone else grab him by the arm and roughly pulled him to his feet so fast that he thought he saw stars. He tried keeping his balance on his own, but whoever Carter had ordered ended up having to hold him upright.

“S-stop,” he was so weak that Ray felt himself ache at hearing him. “Let 'em go!” He had shouted that at Carter, but it sounded horribly soft. Carter turned to glare at Michael.

“I warned him already, _Michael._ I warned him, your boyfriend, and even Tuggey, but you know what? They still came to look for you. How do you _think_ that makes me feel?”

“Shut the _fuck_ up, asshole,” Michael attempted to sneer at him. Carter narrowed his eyes at him before using the side of his revolver to smack Michael across the face with it. Michael cursed out in pain as he was flung to the side with the hit. If it weren't for the person holding him, he would have fell onto the ground easily.

“Damnit, you got blood on my gun,” Carter whined. “Clean it, _asshole_.” He grabbed the hem of Michael's tank top and started to wipe it gently while Michael simply stood there, breathing heavier than he had earlier and Ray figured it was because he was _trying_ to remain calm and failing. It also didn't help with how little energy he had left in him. “Aw, see, that's better,” Carter cooed, patting Michael on his right cheek, the cheek that didn't have a freshly made scratch across it. Michael let out a small growl and Ray looked away before he could witness what happened next.

Carter grabbed a handful of Michael's hair and tugged him closer. “What was that, you little bitch? _Hmm_?” Michael said nothing as he shut his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, as if that could block out the excruciating pain Carter was causing in his head.

“What's this?” He then heard Carter ask. He only opened his eyes when he felt the man dig into one of his jeans' pockets. Carter pulled out the necklace and held it up in front of Michael's face, “Let me guess, this is somehow connected to Gavin?”

“That-that's mine. S-stop,” Michael begged and Ray couldn't help but think of how Michael sounded like he was going through an unforgiving chest cold. Carter smirked before tossing the necklace aside. It landed only a few feet away from Ray and Ray eyed it carefully.

“Alright, take him before I end up killing the poor guy right here,” he said to the other person still holding Michael.

“No!” Michael cried out, gravelly. “ _Ray_!” Ray frowned, but he still couldn't bare to look. He heard Michael let out one last shout before he went strangely quiet and Ray feared to see why, though there was the distinct sound of feet being dragged across the road.

“Now, what am I gonna do with you, Ray?” Carter asked, bending down slightly and placing the tip of his gun back on Ray's temple.

“Don't be that asshole that delays someone's death for their own amusement, because if you're going to kill me, kill me then,” Ray told him. “Gotta say though, I'm disappointed that this how I'm going to go – a bullet to the head by someone who thinks he's a badass and can't get whatever he wants. This is the _fucking_ end of the world and YOU THINK THAT MEANS YOU'RE IN CHARGE NOW?!” He hadn't even realized he was raising his volume until after he was done shouting and gasping for air. His chest had been feeling tight and was now slowly easing its tension from letting that frustration out.

“Wow,” Carter chuckled. “I didn't think you had it in you.”

“Yeah well, people like you bring it out of me.”

Ignoring that, Carter went ahead and asked, “What's your connection to Michael? Did you know him before all of this-”

“No,” Ray quickly and blandly responded. “I didn't know anyone in my group before all of this.”

“Ah, that was my next question. You're a clever one.”

“Whatever you do to me, just _please_ don't kill Michael.”

“I'll be honest with you and tell you that I actually don't plan on it. He's going to be of good use to me; I already have some things in mind.”

Ray blinked hard as he felt his vision blur behind his glasses. No, he wasn't about allow himself to cry and give Carter the sick satisfaction of witnessing that. He shifted his eyes to the right to see Michael's necklace and yearned to reach for it, to keep it safe for Michael, but he couldn't even get himself to move an inch.

“Someone's coming,” Carter whispered. Ray stiffened even more at that. Carter looked over to the right where he had heard the footsteps and smiled, confident in knowing who it was. “You're a little too late, _mate._ Your boyfriend's gone.” Gavin halted in his tracks and narrowed his eyes in the direction Carter's voice came from.

“What?” Ray asked, baffled as he wondered who the hell it could be. The answer hit him right away after he thought back to Carter's previous sentence. And his heart picked up its pace in excitement at the thought of Gavin being nearby and he finally felt like he could breathe more calmly. From his peripheral vision, he saw the lanky figure turn the corner and stand there in place.

“How did I know it was you?” It was a question, clearly, but it sounded more like a joke coming from Carter and that condescending tone he perfectly possessed. Gavin glared at him at first until his gaze slowly lowered to where Ray was on his knees and when he also saw the gun, he couldn't help his expression from showing his uneasiness.

“You know, I would have let you guys go, but you came back! Is Michael really worth all the deaths that are going to happen now to your stupid group?”

“Sod off, you prick,” Gavin grumbled. “I'll forget about Michael if you let Ray go and we'll walk away for _good_ this time.”

“You really think I'm buying your _crap_? You're _not_ going to forget about him, so I have to get rid of you. All of you. And I'm starting with him,” Carter nodded down at Ray. Ray squeezed his eyes shut and began preparing himself. Gavin was ready to speak again when he caught the sight of Meg coming from the other end.

He didn't directly glance at her, but he did enough to clarify that it indeed was her slowly sneaking her way up toward Carter and he hoped his eyes widening for a moment at seeing her didn't give anything away.

“How about this, then; you let us go now and if we show up in your territory again, you kill us on the spot?”

Carter cocked an eyebrow and scoffed. “Don't try to negotiate with me. I know what you're doing – you're prolonging your friend's death, but what for? It's gonna happen either way. Don't let him suffer with the suspense any longer.” Meg bit down on her lower lip nervously as her arms went up and Gavin noticed she was holding a brick in her hands. She was ready for what she was about to do, but she needed just a few more seconds to get closer.

Gavin took a deep breath and shrugged, “Fine, I understand. Can you at least answer me one more thing?” Meg, for a split second, looked entirely grateful for Gavin's stalling.

“ _What_?” Carter sharply responded.

“What do you plan on doing with Michael?”

“Whatever the fuck I want and it won't matter to you anyway; you'll be dead.”

“Will you tell him... tell him that I love him and that,” Gavin paused as something in his stomach stirred, “...I'm sorry?”

“Aww,” Carter grinned. “No.” Ray glared a little up at him, but he flinched when he saw Meg approaching from behind and he was ready for the blow she was about to give him, and then he heard Carter say, “You were trying to distract me.” Ray felt his blood go cold. Meg did as well as she froze in her spot and Carter turned to her, a devious smirk on his face before pushing her back with his free hand. Meg didn't fall, but she stumbled enough to drop the brick and after watching it land by her feet, she gaped at Carter.

With the small burst of courage, Ray jumped to his feet and he managed to exchange a knowing look with Gavin before they both took off. And maybe they could have gotten away if they were a little faster or if Meg could have picked that brick back up in time. Maybe they wouldn't have be harmed if Carter's aim wasn't as great, but luck decided not to be on their side this time and instead, Gavin had to hear the shot go off and see Ray stop running with shock on his face.

Ray couldn't even find a way to describe it to himself – the surging pain he felt in the middle of his back, near his spine. All he knew was that he thought time had frozen and he was just there, alone with blurred and silent surroundings. He reached back and touched the spot that pain started. It was wet, slippery and sticky, and he brought his hand up to view the substance. Dark red covered his trembling fingers and he tilted his head to examine them thoroughly.

“Oh... shit,” he breathed as he fell forward onto his knees.

“ _RAY_!” Gavin cried, sliding down next to him.

Carter looked back at Meg with a scowl and shook his head, “You see what you made me do?!”

“You _asshole_! I didn't do any-” she cut herself off with a gasp as Carter now aimed at her.

“Shut up. Okay? _Shut up_.”

“I'm just... I'm just going to lie down,” Ray whispered as he got onto his stomach, waving Gavin away who was trying to hold him up. Ray's eyes were wide and his face went a worrisome shade of white. Gavin could feel himself growing sick at the situation. He gently brushed his fingers through Ray's hair as some sort of attempt at comfort and Ray momentarily closed his eyes at the gesture.

Meg tried speaking, but Carter started stepping closer toward her and she had no other idea what to do but hold her hands up. Gavin turned his head to look at them and he wrinkled his nose in disgust before slowly standing, Michael's knife tightly held in his hand.

“Go back now and I won't kill you,” Carter told Meg and Meg nodded as she took a few steps backward. “You'll be sorry later for thinking you could get away with this little stunt.”

“I-I'm sorry,” Meg choked out. “I didn't know-”

“You never do.”

Meg clamped her mouth shut and averted her eyes, feeling the pressure build up within them. Carter grinned as he lowered his gun. Gavin took the opportunity to rush up from behind him; he grabbed Carter by the shoulder and wasted no more time in lunging the knife straight into the same spot he'd shot Ray in. Carter dropped his gun as he frantically tried pushing Gavin away, but Gavin held the man in place with the grip he had on his shoulder and slowly twisted the knife inside.

“Ah!” Carter groaned and Meg saw how he was reaching for Ray's gun in his holster.

“I don't think so,” she said, running forward and grabbing the weapon out from its place before he could. It probably wouldn't have mattered either way, because from the looks of it, Carter was losing all senses of everything.

“Y-you... will re-regret this,” he told Gavin, shakily. Gavin twisted the knife as best as he could again, faster this time, and Carter screamed dangerously loud. Gavin wrenched it out of him but continued to hold him still.

“Sorry, _mate_ , but I can't leave it at that, otherwise you'll come back a different way and we can't have that happen now, can we?” Carter barely processed what Gavin meant by that and Meg turned away just in time for Gavin to mercilessly strike Carter on the side of his head with the knife. The only sound that came afterward was the one of Carter's lifeless body hitting the ground. Meg inhaled sharply before turning back to look. Gavin was snarling until he heard a noise come from Ray; his expression immediately softened and he quickly returned to Ray's side while Meg stood silently where she was and watched.

“Gav...” Ray tried.

“Shh, Ray... shh, it's okay. You're going to be fine. Jack will-”

“Gav,” Ray said again. This time, he lifted himself slightly and grabbed Gavin's free hand. Gavin's eyebrows twitched together, but then he felt something being placed onto his palm and he looked down to see that it was Michael's necklace. “G-get him back. Get him back,” Ray continuously repeated.

“Ray, please-”

“Gavin, go... g-go to him,” Ray's voice faded with the final words that he ended up merely mouthing it, and he lied back down. And his eyes slowly closed again, for the last time. Meg brought her hands up to her mouth and shook her head while Gavin seemed stoic as he stared at his friend.

“I'm so sorry,” Meg finally spoke, words mumbled from her hands. Gavin blinked hard before getting himself to look over at her, a hardened expression on his face.

“Where is the rest of your group?”

 

* * *

 

“I think that's everything,” Miles said as he placed the two backpacks from Michael and Gavin's room onto the couch. “We made sure to look through each room more than twice and took anything and everything useful.”

Ryan nodded. “And now we wait.”

“I'm going to go back on what I said earlier, about some of us going to look for Ray, Michael, Gavin, and Lindsay, because it's been a while already and it's practically dark out,” Aaron told them and he looked around to see if anyone else agreed. Barbara, Miles, Jack and Arryn did.

“No, I'm not letting any more of us split up; if you want them to be found, we'll go looking together,” Ryan announced as he started grabbing his own backpack, “We'll go out, look for a car or two, and go searching. Sound good?”

“That sounds amazing, yes,” Barbara nodded frantically.

“Great. Everybody grab what you can and let's head out.” Arryn and Jack quickly grabbed hold of the other backpacks while Miles took care of holding Joe the Cat. Aaron was holding a bag they had stuffed with all the food they could manage and Barbara and Jack had other bags with spare clothes and blankets – the weather was only going to get colder.

“I'm guessing our chances of getting our old van back are slim to nothing?” Miles asked as they started making their way out of the house. Ryan flashed him a sad smile and patted his back.

Barbara was the last to walk out and she slowly closed the door behind her before looking up. She hated to admit how much the house actually meant to her, but there was no use in getting too upset over it. There was just nothing else she could do. Aaron stopped walking when he noticed she wasn't next to him and he looked at her over his shoulder, concern gracing his features. With a deep sigh, Barbara went on and caught up to him, and she smiled subtly when he wrapped an arm around her.

“This will be over soon,” he whispered against her hair and her smile widened, though she couldn't see the slightly guilty look on his face.

As they reached the road that would eventually lead into the downtown, they halted in their tracks as they spotted Lindsay heading right for their direction. Ryan widened his eyes and all but ran to her, because the worry seeping its way in him was too much to bear.

“What happened?” He asked, breathless once he was in front of her. Lindsay slowed her steps until she was completely stopping, and she cocked her head to the side, not quite understanding.

“I... what do you mean?”

“What do you mean what do I mean? Gavin, Ray, and Michael?”

Lindsay glanced over Ryan to find that those particular three were indeed not there. “I-I thought they'd be back by now. We said we would meet back at the house before the sun went down,” she gasped softly, “Carter...” Everyone else looked around at each other before their eyes fell back on her, anxiously. Lindsay spun back around and pointed, “We have to hurry.”

 

* * *

 

“Pssssst.”

Michael stirred a bit at the sound, but he didn't bother to look up from where he lied on the dirt ground. He kept thinking he was only imagining the sound, even though it kept coming.

“ _Pssssst!_ ” It was much louder that time. Michael lifted his head just enough to open his eyes and see ahead of him. There was a person crouched down nearby and they were waving their hand from left to right. Okay, as if Michael's vision without his glasses wasn't bad enough, every beating he had taken since Carter found him wasn't making it any easier to see well. That person was a blotchy blur and Michael _tried_ blinking various times to make out who they were better, but he just couldn't.

“You're Michael, right?” They asked, their voice a deep yet gentle sound, certainly nothing threatening.

“Who're you?” Michael questioned back, squinting his eyes in an attempt to actually see them.

“I saw them drag you over here and Adam was able to tell me who you were and why you here. He and I then managed to come up with a plan to get you out. It might be a _little_ difficult on his part, because well, he's in trouble right now for helping our friend Meg escape, but if the plan works well on my end, he'll be fine.”

“I didn't ask you that.”

“Oh, right,” they laughed, “I guess it doesn't matter much what my name is since we probably won't see each other again after this, but... I'm Joel.”

“You said Meg escaped?” Michael then widened his eyes as he listened to himself talk. That didn't even sound like him. Goodness, he needed water, or a week's worth of no speaking to fully rest his throat.

“Yeah and you were brought here,” Joel moved closer toward Michael and Michael was able to see his face clearer, “Listen, there's about seven of us that are done with Carter and his robotic followers, and this plan we came up with to get you out also involves getting us out and free. So, I just need you to do me _one_ favor.” Although Joel didn't sound or look like a bad person to him, Michael still wondered if he should be weary.

“What?” He asked anyway. Joel leaned forward until Michael could see nothing but his face in his view.

“Stay alive,” he whispered. “If anyone that isn't me, Adam, Meg, or if they don't say their names are Burnie, Chris, or Ashley and they do something to you, you hang in there as much as you can. I know they've done a lot to you already and you probably can barely stand having your eyes open this long, but I need you to do this, okay? I need you to stay strong. We're all getting out of this together – alive.”

“I... can do that,” Michael practically mouthed.

The corners of Joel's lips rose and he nodded. “Okay, good. I know Lindsay is out there somewhere still and I know that you two are friends, so don't worry about her; we'll make sure to get her on our way out. Now, you just wait here until Adam comes. He's going to take Carter's semi truck, pick up Chris, and come get you to hide you in the back. From that point on, you should be completely safe, because he'll reunite you with your own group.”

“Okay,” with that, Michael rested his head back down, but he made sure not to fall asleep. Joel eventually walked away, leaving him to lie there once again in silence, but he knew he wasn't alone. They wouldn't dare leave him alone, so he remained still and hoped he wouldn't regret finding trust in the man he had just met.

 

* * *

 

There was no hesitation for Meg in yanking Gavin back to where she was by his arm. Gavin was close to losing his balance because of it and responded with gawking at her. Meg raised her eyebrows.

“What, you want to be seen by team Carter over there and shot for sneaking up on them?” She asked in a hushed yet sharp tone.

“I'm growing a little impatient here,” he told her, folding his arms across his chest.

“And how do you think I've been feeling about my life? I had to deal with Carter for _months._ You had to deal with him for a few days and then you _killed_ him.”

Gavin sighed as he put his arms down. “I know, I know. M'sorry,” he mumbled. Meg softened her expression and rested her hand on his shoulder to pull him even closer to her.

“I want you to stay here while I make my way around and find my friend Ashley.”

“I'm not comfortable with that.”

“Got a better plan? I mean, you do just have _one_ knife on you.”

“You had a brick.”

“I was in a hurry.”

Gavin's face seemed to fall then and Meg frowned along with him, knowing what had just crossed his mind.

“I wanted to help,” she said, even softer. “I thought I-”

“It's... it's fine,” he shrugged, “None of us should be surprised when something like that happens now. Death is more common than it already was before.” He looked down and opened up his left hand to reveal Michael's necklace. His heart felt as if it was honestly throbbing in pain and he just wanted it stop. He wanted everything to _stop._

Meg also took a quick look at the necklace, but she then closed his hand again and he looked her in the eye, curiously. “Wait here,” she told him and before he could protest again, she took off. Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat and leaned up against the fence that was blocking his way to those people.

“Joel,” he heard one of them say in monotone and he held his breath, as if afraid they would be able to hear him breathe.

“Anyone know where Adam is?” Another – _Joel_ , Gavin supposed – asked.

“He's right where we left him.”

“I just went to go check and he's not there.”

“ _What_? God damnit,” the first person hissed. Gavin listened carefully to the many footsteps that went rampant and he figured it was plenty of them that had left to go see where Adam had gone. He hoped they wouldn't find him – Adam was a genuinely nice guy, as far as he could tell.

“What the hell, Joel?” Someone else was speaking now.

“What?”

“Don't give me that! You _know_ where Adam is, so what's going on?” There was silence that followed, but Gavin waited patiently for Joel to give his response. And then it came, quietly.

“We're getting out of here, Burnie. You, Chris, Ashley, Meg, Lindsay, Adam, and me. We've already made a plan and you know what? I think the seven of us would make a nice little group.”

“Wait, hold up,” a new voice said, “Go back to this _plan_ you say you've already hatched up. If it involves of being free, I want to hear it.”

“Ah, Ashley, how could I say “no” to you?”

“Just explain, please. I'm interested and I'll do anything I have to to help.”

Gavin took light steps toward the edge of the fence and looked over it until he saw the three people standing around – two men and one woman. Two of them had their backs to Gavin, but the man with black hair was facing his direction, so Gavin kept himself low to not be seen.

“Step two has already been put into action,” ah, the black haired man was Joel, Gavin noted, “to lead them in the wrong direction after I finished step one, which was setting Adam free from where they were keeping him trapped. That's where they're heading to now, to see if I'm lying or not. After they see that Adam is gone, it'll already be too late, because step three is Adam taking Carter's truck with Chris, which he's doing as we speak.”

“So, how the hell are we getting out? I mean, good for Adam, but...” the other man – _Burnie_ – was talking, moving his hands to gesture for Joel to go on and answer his question to explain the missing piece.

“Um, do you see anyone around?” Joel asked. “We're leaving now. Adam and Chris are going to meet us on the other side of the city. We're going to hopefully find Meg and Lindsay on our way there and if not, then we'll search afterward, but we also have to help someone else out.”

“Who?” Ashley asked.

“Michael!” Gavin heard Meg joyfully announced and he could have sworn his heart leaped. Joel, Burnie, and Ashley turned around, looks of awe as they saw the girl approach them.

“Well, then, I guess now we only have to find Lindsay,” Joel said, smiling.

“Where were you hiding?” Ashley asked as she stepped forward to embrace Meg in her arms. Meg happily returned her hug.

“I thought I was going to have to sneak all around here to find you, but you guys just made it _so_ much easier.”

“Yeah, I'm thinking this is _too_ easy.”

Meg pouted as she pulled out of her arms. “Why? Can't we just have _one_ nice thing happen to us?”

“Of course, but... it's just... what if Carter find us? And those other six he sent with him?”

“Carter,” Meg repeated, averting her eyes, “I don't think he'll be a problem to us anymore.”

“Wait, why do you say that?” Burnie asked her. Gavin steadied himself for what he was about to do by inhaling through his nose and exhaling slowly out of his mouth.

“Because I killed him,” he said, stepping out from behind the fence. He wasn't surprised by their alarming stares and their instincts to raise their weapons at him, so he didn't move anymore. “And those other six? Well, five of them are dead. One was set free without anything on her, so she's defenseless. Our only real threat are the ones that just left to find Adam.”

“Meg?” Ashley called, not taking her eyes off the Brit.

“Hmm?” Meg looked at her.

“You know this guy?”

“Yes. His name is Gavin and he's apart of the group Michael's in. He _also_ happens to be Michael's boyfriend,” Meg answered and she was unable to help herself from smirking when she noticed Gavin's cheeks getting pink tint to them. Joel, Ashley, and Burnie all at once lowered their weapons and visibly relaxed.

“Carter's dead,” Joel drawled out. “We really are safe.”

Seeing that they were no longer threatening him, Gavin walked further into their circle as he asked, “And do any of you happen to know where Michael is at this very moment?”

“He should be with Adam now, so if we get going, we'll meet them right on time,” Joel told him. Gavin's face brightened and Joel had to smile at how nice it was to actually _see_ relief run through someone.

“Then why are we waiting any longer? Let's go!” Burnie said, nodding toward the way they needed to run. He and Ashley went in the lead with Joel and Meg not failing to follow suit. Gavin had taken a few steps after them before he halted.

“I'm going to him, Ray,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he pictured his friend once more... standing in front of him with that lopsided smile of his, one that used to be such a rare sight. Although, lately, he had been seeing so much more of it, and it tore at him inside when he realized he would no longer see it again. “Keep it together, Free. You _have_ to keep it together. You can grieve later, but you have to find Michael first. You have to be _strong_ for him. For Michael... and for _Ray._ He would have wanted you to be strong and keep going,” a sigh then escaped him as he thought of something else, “So would Geoff.” And he nodded to himself at his own pep talk before finally running after the other four.

He couldn't tell where they were headed, not with how dark the city was now with only the moonlight to guide them. He just made sure he didn't lose sight of Meg up ahead of him, because as long as he focused on her, he wouldn't need to pay attention to everything else around. He pretended not to notice how his chest was tightening and he was gasping more and more for air. He pretended he didn't know feel how his legs were giving out, because he knew he was absolutely ready for a break after the many running around he had done throughout the day.

Just a little further, he reminded himself, just a little further to Michael. It seemed to do the trick, too, for he hardly remembered the difficulties trying to slow him down by the time they ran into familiar faces.

“ _Lindsay_?!” Meg squealed and Gavin stopped running to watch as she launched herself forward at the other redhead. Lindsay picked her up to spin her around and Gavin's lips rose when she did. In the years he had known Lindsay, he had never seen her so happy that she could cry, not until now, and it was, well, it was sweet.

“Gavin?” He heard someone call. He tore his gaze away from the girls and saw Ryan staring at him with wide and worried eyes, and that little moment of happiness he'd been having from seeing Meg and Lindsay reunited was gone.

“Ryan,” he said, sounding and feeling terribly small. He also had to look down since everyone was _staring_ right at him now and it was... unnerving, to say the least.

“Where's Ray, Gavin? Huh? Where is he?” Gavin wanted to answer, but no words came out even when he opened his mouth. Ryan ran his fingers through his hair and decided on asking something else instead of jumping to the biggest conclusion, “Is he with Michael?” Michael. Gavin looked up at Ryan and frowned as he shook his head. “Then _where_ is he?”

Barbara looked away from everyone, already understanding what Gavin was failing to say. “No,” she breathed out. “No, please, no.”

Aaron's shoulders slumped as he cursed under his breath; he understood it, too. Everyone did at that point. Miles shook his head like he didn't want to believe it and Arryn was right there with him.

“God damnit,” Jack was close to shouting, dropping the bag he'd been holding to curl his hands into tight fists.

Gavin no longer found it easy to look directly at Ryan, because he had taken one glance at him and that had been more than enough. The utter defeat that was on Ryan's face and the fact that he just _couldn't_ talk anymore... it was all it took for Gavin to want to break down. And he would have, too.

He would have fell to his knees and gave into the temptation of those _damn_ tears that had been slowly making their way forward and he would have screamed until his throat _begged_ for rest. He would have shouted how sorry he was... sorry, sorry, sorry, “I'm _sorry_!” because it was the one thing he thought he _could_ say, but Joel spoke to him before he could do any of that.

“I think I just heard Adam drive up, Gavin.”

 _Michael_. Gavin avoided everyone's looks as he hurriedly went after Joel, even ending up going ahead of him as soon as he saw the outline of a large vehicle in the distance. That urge to pay attention to his legs wanting him to stop almost worked when he picked up his pace and found himself staggering about, but he forcefully continued running until he reached the back doors of the semi truck. There he was able to lean against the doors and catch his breath for a short moment. Joel was by his side seconds later and Gavin pulled a little away so that they could open up the doors together. The dim lighting from the moon was hardly enough for Gavin to make out the figure lying on the floor, but he climbed inside and stood slowly, blinking rapidly to adjust his vision to the darkness.

“Michael?” He called and it came out much more weak than he intended it to. At first, the figure didn't move and Gavin tried not letting the panic get the better of him, but his heart was already pounding. And then, there was some movement, followed by a groan.

Michael lifted his head and though his vision was still terrible, he could recognize that mess of hair anywhere, even blurred. “Gavin,” he said, his voice as scratchy as earlier. Gavin's breath hitched in his throat as he ran at him. Michael, despite everything telling him to lie back down, pushed himself up onto his feet with the support of the wall.

Gavin then slowed down and shook his head, “No, love, don't get up-”

“Shut up,” Michael cut him off and practically fell into his arms. Gavin let out a breathy laugh as he held Michael, overwhelmed with how content he was to see Michael alive, to have him back with him. He wasn't even sure what to do or say, so he squeezed him tighter and buried his face in the crook of his neck, continuing to laugh and not realizing when his face became drenched with those tears from before. There was also trembling, but he couldn't tell if it was from him or Michael. He didn't even think to realize how discomforting his tight embrace probably was to Michael. And it was, but Michael wasn't about to let go. Pain be damned if it thought it could keep him from Gavin.

“I love you, _so_ much,” Gavin eventually choked out, gasping as he tried steadying his breathing.

“Gav,” Michael whispered in return and he ignored how Gavin was trying to hush him, “I... I f-forgive you, _okay_? For-for everything.” Gavin felt his heart _swell_ at those words and he pulled back, but only slightly so he could pepper Michael's face with gentle kisses. He kissed everywhere he saw marks, everywhere he saw bruises and cuts, as if he could kiss them all away for good. Michael smiled, little and crookedly.

“Need any help getting down?” Adam asked. Though he hated to interrupt, there was still risks of the _others_ finding them. Gavin looked at him over his shoulder and then back at Michael. Michael nodded once and he held onto Gavin as they very slowly made their way to the edge. Adam wrapped his arms around Michael's waist and carefully picked him up and off the truck before placing him down next to him.

Michael stood well on his own for a bit, but he was grateful when he had Gavin to hold onto again, because he wasn't going to deny how wobbly he felt. Gavin opened up his left hand to show Michael the necklace and Michael sighed in relief to see it.

“We can't get rid of these so easily,” Gavin whispered to him as he began to put the chain around Michael's neck and since the clasp was still broken, he had to tie a knot to keep it in place. Michael glanced down fondly at the pendant dangling against his chest and grabbed it.

Switching to hold the knife in his left hand now, Gavin grabbed Michael's hand and interlocked their fingers. Michael still needed to lean on him for support as they walked, so Gavin took short steps to make sure Michael could handle it.

“Oh, god,” Michael said after a moment, blinking hard.

“What is it?” Gavin asked, stopping entirely to stare at him.

“Yeah, uh, I think I might be concussed or some shit,” Michael explained to him as he let go of the pendant to cradle his head, “because I don't feel so good.” Gavin furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until Michael turned away, and then he widened his eyes as he heard the retching. The Brit rubbed small circles on Michael's back and set his lips into a straight line; he didn't want Michael knowing that he was a _bit_ grossed out, despite everything else. He then looked to Adam and Joel for some sort of help.

Adam sighed. “I think he should be fine as long as you check up on him through the night.”

“Yeah, and give him some water, for God's sake,” Joel added, “ _Lots_ of it.” Gavin nodded, smiling at them as a silent thanks. Michael remained hunched over a little longer than he needed to, just in case, but when he knew he was done, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up straighter.

“Feeling better?” Gavin asked him. No, Michael definitely wasn't great – his head was throbbing, his face felt sore, specifically his right eye that he could barely open, his ribs were aching from the repeated kicks he'd gotten, his stomach was making _unusual_ noises, and he was sure he was covered in blood everywhere else. Not to mention how simple it was for him to want to pass out onto the road right then and there since it looked to be the most comfortable thing to him. But even so, when he looked Gavin in the eyes and remembered that they were together again and the dreadfully long day was finally over, he managed a lazy grin.

“Yeah,” he breathed. Gavin leaned in and placed a swift kiss on Michael's forehead. Up this close, Michael could see the tear stains on Gavin's cheeks that had cleaned away any dirt marks Gavin might have had before. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen Gavin cry and he hoped he wouldn't have to again.

Holding hands once more, the two turned toward their destination and moved along slowly.

“Gav,” he said after a moment, looking at the Brit. Gavin merely raised his eyebrows to indicate that he was listening. “Every-everyone else... are they... okay?” Gavin tried not letting his face fall too much as the image of Ray crossed his mind with that question. He shook his head and Michael swallowed uneasily as he waited to figure out why not.

“We aren't okay, but that doesn't mean we won't ever be,” the answer was subtle and Michael wanted to ask something else, but he was exhausted and decided to take that answer for now. So, he nodded gently and rested his head on Gavin's shoulder as they walked. He felt bad about practically leaving Gavin to support all of his weight. It didn't bother Gavin, though, for he even released Michael's hand to be able to wrap both of his arms around him.

“So, what now?” Joel asked Adam as they leaned against the truck, both of them with their arms crossed.

“Now we wait for Burnie, Ashley, Meg, and Lindsay to catch up with us here and we go, as far away from this place as we can,” Adam told him. "I told Chris to wait in the passengers seat.”

Joel nodded. “So, we just stand here and wait?” Adam turned his head to look at him.

“Or, you know, we could go get them and hurry back over here.”

“Let's go with that instead.”

“Right.” Adam and Joel peeled themselves away from the truck and trailed behind Michael and Gavin to watch over them, but also to make sure they didn't see any threat nearby that would attempt to jump at them.

By the time they had made it close enough for everyone else to come into their view, Gavin took a deep breath to calm himself, because he wished he could guess what would happen now to them. Of course they were going to move on and stride to survive longer, and he could already see the many other obstacles that would come their way to prevent that, but somehow, they would manage.

This wasn't the end of their fears or the end of their grief, but this was the beginning of them rebuilding all they had lost so far. And as he saw his friends standing together, heads held high, he felt confidence creep up on him that they were _definitely_ more prepared than they had ever been for _anything_ that dared crossed their path.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. Okay, I did put that there would be multiple deaths, but I actually never did intend for it to be Michael or Gavin's death. I was never going to separate them completely, because they're my babies, they're otp (I say that even though I've done that in one shots). Still, Ray and Geoff were big parts of the story so of course I was still going to have it be "major character death". I was getting hesitant with Ray, but I did have that planned from the start and I had already changed a lot about the story to include backstories so I didn't want to drastically change the ending. 
> 
> Anyway, I will apologize for heartbreaks I've caused, I love you a lot and I'm sorry I write/like a ton of angst, but I also want to thank those who read this entire thing and who continue to support me, because without you, I would have stopped writing fanfic after "A Week's Worth" was over.
> 
> Oh, and to those who are also reading "For The Hell of It", that's going to be updated sometime soon since my full focus will now be shifted to that. Don't worry, that fic is _pretty much_ pure fluff and humor, so that'll be a nice change of pace from writing this sadness. 
> 
> Okay, I'll shut up. Thank you again !!


	28. Announcement

This is just an announcement to let you all know that this officially has a sequel to it!! You can find [It's Not Over Yet here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4834562/chapters/11072963). No major character death this time, I promise. :)

I hope you check it out!! 


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